Five

"Oh my Jashin!"

"Hidan."

"O-M-F-J!"

"Hidan."

"Oh my fuck."

"Hidan!"

"OHHH MY JASHINNN-SAMAA!"

"HIDAN!"

"What?" the Jashinist panted furiously, sweat dripping down his forehead like a giant waterfall.

Kakuzu rubbed his temple slowly, groaning. "You're going too fast. I can't catch up, you idiot."

"Why not?" Hidan scowled, his face red. "Just as it was goin' good."

…

"Stop staring at me like that, ya perverted old man!"

"Hidan," Kakuzu began, feeling a vein burst. "When I said practice expressing your emotions, I didn't mean practice showing off your colorful language skills."

"Well, those are my freakin emotions!" Hidan insisted blatantly. "You can't just shrug them off like a pile of shit."

"Those words are just what you shoot out of your mouth when you're angry. It doesn't count."

"What? I utter them during sex too, you moron!" Hidan barked, waving his fist in the air. "OF course it COUNTS!"

"No it doesn't." Kakuzu glared at him.

"Yes it does!" Hidan glared back.

"No."

"Yes!"

"No."

"Yes!"

"No."

"Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!" Hidan growled loudly.

"You…" Kakuzu was about to say something witty when a knock was heard on the door.

"Come in," he said grumpily, ignoring the triumphant looks that Hidan shot his way.

A blonde-haired man peeked into the room with wary eyes. "Pein-sama told me to check on you guys for a second. Are you guys having sex, un?"

"WHAT!" Kakuzu lost his temper and stood up abruptly from his seat. Hidan guffawed, slapping his hands against his thighs animatedly. From a distance, he looked very much like a seal.

"Obviously, we're just about to…" he trailed off as he scooted closer to Kakuzu and licked his fingers with relish. "…Get into it."

Deidara swallowed hard, sweat forming around his brow. "I shan't disturb you then." He closed the door swiftly and disappeared from sight.

"That's right! They're 'getting into it' already, un! You were right, Leader!" Deidara's voice echoed loudly from the hall. Kakuzu's eyes widened in mortification.

Swiping his hand away from Hidan's grasp, he turned away and folded his arms.

"Aaaaoww, you angry at me, Kuzu?" Hidan whined loudly, pulling at his arms.

His eyes narrowed when no reply came. Kakuzu was fuming.

"Fine, how bout' this? Let's watch porn together! Will that calm your stupid little ass, Cock-zoo?"

"Shut up, you horny brat."