(ORIGINALLY THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE POSTED ON DECEMBER 25TH, BUT FOR SOME REASON I WAS UNABLE TO...SO DO FORGIVE ME).

Hello again all. Good to be back after THIS DAMN LONG! Really, I honestly hadn't meant to take this long in updating, but ya know what, life happens and all that jazz. Anyway, I wanted to get this out to you guys as a Christmas gift. I'm not exactly happy with it, but here ya go.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

o~O~o

I was thrilled when I found out that my father hadn't found out about my little episode. Honestly, I was grateful that Dr. Cullen hadn't said a word to him about it – mostly because it insured my freedom – and I wouldn't have to worry about my father getting freaked out about how much my past was still affecting me. After all, it has been a few years since then, so it shouldn't have quite the same hold – unfortunately, it does. However, I refuse to allow it to completely control who I am. In all honesty, I could've become a rather cold hearted bitch. Yes, I did have a dark part of my being that very few people knew about – and of course, the circumstances for that were pretty damn horrifying. It was not something that I wanted anyone to ever go through. I have met several other people who had gone through what I did – maybe not to the same extent as I had – but still, I did meet a few. They all agreed with me, no one should EVER have to deal with what we did. It wasn't pretty in any way, shape, or form.

Unfortunately, there's a lot of things in this world that no one should ever have to deal with. And I had to draw the short straw.

Bella came into my room a few days later looking a little worried. Not that I blamed her. After all, I had been having a few nightmares even after getting the package that I had gotten from Micheal. You'd think getting the medicine that I needed to keep myself from losing control if I started losing my temper. That's not quite the case. Not as it used to be.

"Um…are you okay?" she asked so uncertain that it immediately let me know that something was wrong.

"Fine," I reply, giving her a look. "What's wrong?"

She sighed. "Lillian's here."

Okay, that got me sitting up real damn quick. Lillian was my doctor back in Phoenix. She was the one who patched me up after missions and got me the medicine I needed to keep myself under control. Of course, I didn't take the injections all the time as I originally should've been – it wasn't that I was rebellious, I just had wanted to gain the control I needed on my own. I still do. And of course, Lillian knew that.

Of course, I did make a call to my doctor back in Phoenix that night after my little flashback. I didn't think that she'd actually pop up here. That's a mistake I should've realized I had just made. Yet, if there was one person who knew everything that I had gone through, it was Lil. Hence why I called her.

"Fantastic," I mumble, starting for the door and secretly wishing I could just be swallowed up by the floor. "This outta be good."

Bella gave me a look of pity. "It won't be too bad."

Is she for real? I love my sister dearly, but sometimes I wonder just how well she knew me. "That's because you don't have to deal with her."

"True, but Lillian doesn't seem to be angry," she retorts gently. "Just worried.

I sigh. "Doesn't mean she ain't pissed at me…" The woman was a force to be reckoned with when she lost her temper. I've seen the rare few times it's happened.

"Understatement of the century, child," I heard her English, slightly Russian accent come from the doorway. She gave a look to my sister, telling her without words to leave the two of us to talk. I think I'd rather deal with the dead. "Why did you not tell me?"

I shot her a look. "Because you would've insisted that I return to New York," a heavy sigh. "And we both know that that won't do anything, but cause more trouble."

"A statement."

Well duh! It wasn't a question. Wow, I am snarky, aren't I? I really need more sleep to keep that to a minimum.

"Naturally. I'm not stupid, Lil."

"That remains to be seen."

I glanced up at her with a flat look. "Very funny."

"It wasn't a joke."

Pity, it would've been a good one. "I know. But I am not stupid. I just don't like to rely on others all the time."

"It's necessary, hun," she coos softly. "Especially since you ran out of those injections. After all, I did create them for you to be able to control yourself better."

As if I need a reminder. Then again, she is just watching out for me. I can't fault her for that. "I know. I'm sorry." I am too. For causing so many people to worry about me.

Lil smiles. "It's fine. Next time though, do let me know when you start to run out. That way we can avoid you getting that tunnel vision."

"You're not…going to rip into me about that?"

Doctor Tuner shook her head. "I don't need to. You're doing a masterful job of it all on your own, Sar." She turned slightly to see my Dad standing in the doorway, looking concerned as always. I really needed to do a better job at taking care of my family. Gods, I shouldn't always make them worry like this. It's not at all fair to them. "She's fine Charlie. No need to worry."

"She won't have nightmares anymore?" he asks, still concerned. My father never did like it when I had those nightmares. Neither did Bella.

"With a little luck they might not come as often as they used to," she replies. "They never will go away, Charlie."

True. I just have to learn to live with them again.

"What about those injections?" he asks, still not moving from the door.

Lillian looked contemplative for a moment. "They only help her with her control issues, Charlie. Not with the nightmares. Those she has to gain control of all on her own. And that's never easy. Especially when you have to face them on a near constant basis."

Truth. And I could tell that it didn't make Dad feel better. Hell, didn't make me feel better either.

~O~

Darkness.

Red.

Like blood. No, it was blood. Darkness was the night. And the constant screaming, moaning along with the horrid stench of death flowed through the entire area that I lay in. It was highly disturbing. Yet, I had no time to be disturbed. I needed to get out of this place—needed to get the others out of here as well. Before it was all too late to even escape this terrifying situation. No, it is too late. All that we could do until we found a way to get out of here was survive. And that almost seemed impossible with all this death that is surrounding us. Carefully, I get up, clinging to the wall a moment as my vision started swimming. I did not feel good. Well, I had lost a bit of blood after getting bitten. Yeah, that hurt like hell too. I thanked the damn creature who bit me with a nice little baseball bat to the cranium. The sound of bones being crushed was like a pleasurable hum to my ears.

"Sarah! My God there you are!" A voice called out in relief. It took me a moment not to react violently towards the person who was now running in my direction. My muscles clenched as I prepared to catch her. Gods, if she had truly startled me I might've hurt her. That was a very sobering thought. I had no desire to ever hurt my friends.

A few seconds later, she crashed right into me. Wow. That didn't feel too good. Nope. Not at all. And the floor didn't help with the landing much since it was basically concrete.

"I'm fine, Audrey," I sighed, hugging her back and trying to keep her calm. "Calm down. If you yell too much you'll attract a lot of unwanted attention over here. We need to keep a low profile."

Audrey sniffs. "Yes, I'm sorry, but you've been gone for two days. Can you blame me for worrying? Derek was the one who finally sent out a search party for you."

In this mess? "How nice of him." Jeez, the man hated my guts, but was he really that worried?

"I know you guys hate each other."

"That's putting it rather mildly." It was. I had my reasons for not liking the guy. One of them was what he wanted to do when they all first found out I was sort of immune to this shit.

"I wish you two would get along," she sighs. "We need to work together to get out of this Hell-hole alive."

"Well aware of that Audrey," I snip feeling whatever good mood I had slip away, moving ahead of her to get to the safe-house. "Now let's get going before those things decide to give us a party. I for one do not want to get ambushed..." I also don't want to get bitten again. Once was more than enough for me.

It was on the way back that what I had feared out happen did. Somehow those things had found us. A massive horde just sweeping into the area. Sweet Jesus! Where are all these fuckers coming from?! This is just not normal. None of this was normal, but after about two months of dealing with this shit it had pretty much become the norm. Sad of me to say. Gods this was annoying as all hell.

My thoughts were ripped by a shrill scream. I whipped around, smashing another head in to find Audrey being overwhelmed by that second horde. Fuck. She had been right behind me! Before I could get over there I found myself being pounced on from behind. I struggle, trying to throw the damn infected off of my form, screaming out in pain as teeth pierced the left side of my neck again...and my temper flared. I knocked the creature off, holding onto my bleeding neck, groaning in pain as I stumbled a bit. I glance through hazy eyes to find that Audrey was no longer there...no she was there...just...OH MY GOD!

"AUDREY!"

~O~

"NO!" I bolted right up, eyes looking around wildly, heart pounding rapidly showing no sign of stopping. I could feel everything that I had been feeling in the dream flowing through my veins, forcing me to grip the covers tightly as I tried to regain control the moment I realized that I was in my own room.

"Sarah?" the voice startled me enough that when I look up, I see my father standing in the doorway with Bella. Both of them looking frazzled, worried and completely concerned. Needless to say, they heard me.

I shook my head, keeping my grip on the sheets as I tried in vain to get my heart rate back under control. Easier said than done. "I'm fine."

Bells sat next to me and rubbed my arm. "No you're not sis."

No, I'm not. "Yeah, I know." It was at this point that I realized that I was shaking. It wasn't stopping either.

"Maybe…maybe you should go back to New York with Lil?" Dad suggested cautiously.

My eyes lowered to my covered legs. "Maybe…" I still couldn't stop the shaking.

o~O~o

A much shorter chapter than what I originally wanted to put out, but I had deleted a lot of the content in this one to make it a little different. A little not a lot. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this installment and MERRY CHRISTMAS!