Date : 16.04.18
Title : Memory In My Heart
Author : ElaineDex
Chapter : 2 of ?
Rating : M
Pairings : Bucky/OC
Warnings : Some Sexual Content, Romance, Angst, Maybe Some Strong Language.
Spoilersand A/N: Possible references to The Winter Soldier, Civil War, Black Panther (I have not seen Black Panther, nor do I claim to be an expert on The Avengers so please forgive any discrepancies. I am working off of things I have read and movies and trailers that I have seen. Thank you.
Disclaimer : I do not own anything to do with the Marvel franchise. This plot and any O/C's are mine.
Summary : (AU) Can a memory from Bucky's time as The Winter Soldier save him from having to live that kind of life again or will the darkness consume him and lead him to kill everyone he now holds dear?
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO
"You sure about this?" Steve's other best friend, Sam Wilson, asked as they watched Doctor Evans walk away from the car. "Thought you were all about keeping the civilians out of it…"
Steve heard the tinge of bitterness in Sam's tone and understood where it came from. His friend was still a little sore about Bucky's reappearance in his life and his obvious loyalty to the other man despite what he'd done.
"If I had any other choice, you know I wouldn't have gone to her…but Bucky seems to trust her and she's the only one who can tell us what's going on in there…and hopefully help me get him out."
Sam grumbled for a moment then muttered, "Us…"
Steve turned to look at his friend, "Huh?"
"Us…help us get him out…" Sam grudgingly replied.
"Sam, I don't expect…"
Sam cut him off. "I know how much this son of a bitch means to you…because…well, it doesn't matter, but I want to help. I'll always help, you know that."
Steve smiled, "Thanks Sam."
They exchanged a look before turning to watch as Molly disappeared out of sight, heading back home to where she was due to be picked up by Bucky's captors.
"Now all we have to do is wait," Steve said and Sam sighed and slid further down into his seat.
OoOo
Molly paced her lounge floor as she waited for the government car to arrive. The plan was simple enough; she would go back, pretend to be happy to be there and assess what was happening with Sergeant Barnes…Bucky…
She closed her eyes briefly as nerves made her stomach flip.
Once she was sure of her role and that she was back into the fold she would get the lay of the land and try to ensure that the 'brainwashing' dosage was kept low, as she had been doing previously and then, once she knew where they were sending Bucky on his first mission she would contact Steve and tell him so that he could intercept his friend and get him to safety. She had told Steve that this might take some time…days…maybe even longer, but the Cap had assured her that it was okay, that she should stay calm and just do what she needed to in her own time. She wasn't stupid though; she knew that time was of the essence and that Bucky needed to be freed before any more damage could be done to him…before he became the deadly assassin that he once was.
She lifted her head as she heard a car pull up out front and a quick glance out of the window confirmed that it was her ride as she saw a gleaming black saloon sat waiting ominously by the kerb. Taking a quick last glance around her lounge she took a shaky breath and headed out, locking up before walking slowly toward the car.
Steve had the spare keys to her house now and was planning to stay there with Sam, his friend, once she had been collected so that she could call the house if she had to, under the pretence of checking in with her mom, who would be looking after her fish. She didn't have any fish, but it was easier to lie about them than to pretend that she had a dog. A dog could be checked up on…fish…not so much. She tried not to feel panicked as the car door was opened for her by a burly man in a suit and shades and she slid into the back seat, praying that the communication device that the Black Widow had secured beneath her left breast…right up against her top rib…didn't come loose. Natasha had assured Molly that when she was frisked, as she would no doubt be when she arrived at the facility, she would not be patted down right up under her boob and Molly hung onto that assurance now. Black Widow knew her stuff and she had to trust in that. Apparently the device was scanner proof too…it had looked like a good piece of tech but despite Molly's inquisitiveness about it there had been no time to discuss details.
As they passed the car that Steve and Sam where waiting in, Molly looked out of the opposite window, pretending to look at the park on the other side unable to help but wonder if she would ever see it again…ever see her house again. As she took a deep breath, the man who was sat in front beside the driver turned in his seat and handed her a large envelope.
"Your briefing notes, Doctor Evans…" he said as she took the pack from him, "…you should take a look now, things are moving along pretty fast and you'll need to be up to speed."
She nodded in response and opened the envelope, feeling a little sick as she read the title.
THE WINTER SOLDIER PROGRAMME
It made it sound so simple…like some innocent project or daft notion…but she knew only too well what it entailed and the idea behind it, and there was nothing innocent about it.
OoO
Bucky had lost all track of time. He'd tried to keep a check, tried to fight ,but deep down he knew that without help, it was useless. The stuff HYDRA had put into his head was still there. Shuri had not had a chance to work on freeing him from it before he'd been taken from Wakanda. He hoped that she was alright; the last thing he remembered as he'd been wrestled to the ground before being knocked out, was Shuri seemingly holding her own against two guys, her lab getting more and more bust up by the second. Bucky clenched his own hand into a fist as thoughts of revenge ran through his mind…a mind that was at that moment, still his own. For how long though was anyone's guess.
He looked up as a group of Doctors and Scientists entered the large room where he was being kept and he found himself looking for her, his eyes seeking out her auburn hair, but how did he know that Shuri had even managed to pass his letter on to Steve? How did he know that even if she had that the Scientist would help? Because of a hunch? Because she'd been kind to him? Because of the way she'd looked at him the last time?
Bucky shook his head at that one. If she'd looked at him in any kind of way it had been out of pity or maybe even remorse, but if there was one thing he was not these days it was a lady's man. Not that he'd been much of one back in the day…though he'd lay a bet that Steve would argue the point on that one.
No, if she was going to help it would because she was a good person, because she knew that what was being done here was wrong…not just wrong for what they were doing to him, but for the damage he could inflict upon others as The Winter Soldier.
The sound of the heavy security doors sliding back into position made his eyes look that way and that was when he saw her, stood just to the side, her arms laden with files and ring binders which she clutched against herself as though her life depended upon it. She was nervous and he silently willed her to look his way.
OoO
Molly had watched Bucky from an overhead observation room for the best part of an hour whilst the guy who had been put in charge of their team talked about the 'project' and the 'subject' and the programme and though she knew she hadn't been listening as intently as she should, she couldn't help the way her eyes kept straying to the glass and to where Bucky, dressed only in black cargo trousers, sat restrained to a large chair below them.
He had a new arm, but then she knew that…it had been in her notes. She wondered if it hurt. He looked tired…was he cold?
As the room began to empty she realised that they were making their way down to the lab and she collected her things and followed, nodding to the soldier guarding the blast doors as she passed into the room last and they slammed shut behind her a moment later making her grasp the files she held even more tightly against her.
As her colleagues began to move to their stations, she felt Bucky's eyes on her and despite every instinct telling her to look at him, she resisted. She needed to ground herself first, to assess the new lab and the people around her; some were new, but others she remembered from the last time. Whether it was luck or a miracle, she had been assigned the same role that she had had before, so in theory, she should be able to control what she needed to without much interference…
'Or any at all…'she silently prayed to herself.
Aside from his new arm, Bucky was still himself. The first memory suppression experiments were due to start later that day and she didn't know how much dialling back she'd be able to get away with on this initial run. They'd be being watched and she had to be careful for now…
She got her station set up and eventually let herself glance over to where Bucky was having straps fitted to his arms and legs and once her colleagues were done, she spied a chance to approach him with the pretence of checking the plates that would emit the charge that would run through his brain later. Just the thought of it made her shudder.
At first he didn't look up at her, but as she leaned over him to fiddle about with the plates either side of his head and her body blocked his view of the others in the room, Bucky let his gaze move slowly upwards and finally their eyes met. Molly suddenly wanted to say a hundred things, to tell him that it would be alright, that Steve was going to get him to safety, but the way his blue eyes bored into hers took her breath and all she managed was an almost imperceptible nod of her head.
Bucky's eyes instantly softened and he let out a short sigh of relief.
She was in and if she was, so was Steve.
Finding her voice, Molly murmured quietly, "I'd really love a hot dog right now…" She hoped to god that he understood….Steve had told her to mention hot dogs to Bucky if she got the chance, told her that it would be like a sign to his friend and it seemed to work because for a second his eyes sparkled, but then he lowered his gaze and a hard look settled over his features as a voice she recognized from the last time said, "Talking to the subject again Doctor Evans…" referring to the way she'd always spoken to the Soldier previously.
Molly grimaced and turned to face one of the scientists from their first time around, a man who had been friends with the Doctor that Bucky had killed in the old lab. He was a lech and an asshole and Molly wanted even less to do with him than she did with this programme…and that was saying something.
"Yes, Doctor Hanning. I find he's more responsive if you treat him like the human being he is…" she replied, hating to speak about Bucky as though he wasn't there, but since she had no choice…
"A human being…" Hanning scoffed, glancing at Bucky who kept his eyes carefully lowered as the Scientist went on "…well, what bit of humanity he might have gotten back won't be there for much longer; you'll see to that won't you." He looked back at Molly, smiling at her in a way that turned her stomach and without answering, Molly moved back to her station, Hanning's horrible chuckle ringing in her ears.
Bucky's fists clenched as he watched Hanning laughing and following Molly with his beady eyes and when the Scientist turned to look back at him he gave him a cold, hard stare, one that seemed to momentarily unnerve the Doctor. After a moment though he gave Bucky a smug smile and moved away and slowly Bucky unclenched his hands, but something about Hanning made him uneasy and left him with a bad taste in his mouth.
OoO
Darkness had long since fallen before Steve and Sam let themselves into Molly's home and after giving the place a quick security check, they made themselves comfy.
"Realistically, how long do you think it'll be before we hear from her?" Sam asked and Steve sighed.
"I don't know, but I don't think we need worry about missing a call tonight. Get some sleep whilst we have the chance…"
Sam stood and made for the couch, glancing back at Steve and grinning. "What? You wouldn't fit on here anyways…"
OoO
"Enough…" Molly said, Bucky's screams more than she could bear any longer. She dialled the machine right down and off and as Bucky sat panting, his arms and legs still fighting against the restraints, she turned to face the head of the military division who was watching over the proceedings.
"Why have you stopped Doctor Evans?" he asked, looking none too pleased with her decision and Molly squared her shoulders as she answered him.
"We cannot get too heavy handed with the treatment this soon. Too much early damage could remove parts of his previous training. He's been away from the facility for some time now. He has physical training tomorrow and I..I just think that pushing too quickly will not be beneficial for us."
The man studied her for a moment, but she held his gaze and eventually he nodded.
"Alright."
Turning to the remaining Scientists in the lab he said, "Clear the room, Doctor Evans will secure everything for the night."
As her colleagues collected their belongings, he turned back to Molly he said, "I trust you know what you are talking about Doctor, but remember, we need the Soldier back…and soon."
Molly nodded and he added, "Two of my men will secure the doors once you have finished."
"Thank you," Molly said, trying not to sag in relief when he finally walked away. It seemed he had not noticed that she hadn't had the machine on full whack and thank Christ she hadn't because Bucky's pain had been plain for all to see. Glancing up she found the observation room was empty and a quick check toward the doors saw the two military soldiers with their backs to the open blast doors. For now she was alone.
Moving to the medical station she readied a syringe of pain meds and placing a cap on the needle she placed it into her lab pocket and crossed to where Bucky sat restrained, the bare skin of his chest and arms slick with sweat from the exertion of fighting the procedure he had just endured.
"Bucky…" she whispered his name, tentatively reaching out to touch his cheek, but at first he turned his head away and closed his eyes, but she didn't give up and touching his other cheek she tried again, "Bucky…it's me…it's…" she stopped as he cut her off, opening his eyes and turning his head to look at her as he said, "Molly….you're Molly…"
She smiled. She couldn't help it, but then his face creased in pain and she reached into her pocket and produced the syringe, pulling the cap off and when Bucky made a noise she glanced at him.
"Its pain killer, nothing more I promise…"
He nodded once and she looked at his arm. His veins needed no encouragement to be found and she injected the pain medication as gently as she could. After a moment or two, the tension in his body began to ease and after taking another look around she moved closer and said, "Your friend, Steve, he's got a plan…you're not alone…"
"Steve…" Bucky repeated the name, knowing that it meant something, but his head felt fried and he closed his eyes as tiredness swept over him.
Molly wanted to grab a blanket and cover him, but if she showed any signs that she cared more than she should, she knew she would fall under suspicion and so she moved to a nearby heat lamp and flicked that on instead. It would provide some warmth throughout the night so that Bucky wouldn't be too uncomfortable.
Moving back to Bucky's side she said softly, "I have to go…I'll see you tomorrow though…"
He looked up at her and she felt his fingers…his own…moving against her side and she looked to find that he was trying to reach for her and she placed her own against his.
"Thank…you…" he managed and she squeezed his hand.
"Just hang in there and...keep remembering…" she said and as hard as it was, she moved away, packed up her station and left the lab, the soldiers closing the massive doors behind her and as she made her way to the temporary accommodations that all the Scientists had been given within the facility, she was unaware that Doctor Hanning had witnessed the last few moments of her exchange with Bucky, albeit without sound, and he moved away from the observatory room window, another smug smile upon his face.
End of Chapter Two