Let it all out, Let it all out
It's okay pretending to be tough
The scribbled flowers someone painted on the wall tremble

No one knows their own way of being
You lose it and find it during the long long path on your way
Suddenly I feel lonely
There's also days in which I'd burst into tears, but...

Let's transform pain and tears into stars
Let's turn on the light that will illuminate the future
Let's hold hands together to create stardust
Let's search for the eternity that will shine powerfully

Farewell, perhaps it'll come someday
Seasons bounce around from one place to the next, nevertheless...

Despite losing the way a bit
I'm walking, I'm walking with you
Let's not change just that...

Miho Fukuhara's "Let it Out"

.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.

Anko took her time putting her clothes on. It had been a week since her surgery yet she was still sore as hell. However, Danzo's message was weighing heavily on her mind and the quicker she found out what he wanted the better.

Itachi and Ryik were waiting outside, her faithful servants.

"Anko, this will be the stupidest thing you've ever done." Itachi urged. "Danzo is ruthless!"

Ryik added, "He's probably plannin' to hack up all of us! He's an older but not nearly as good lookin', more experienced version of Crazy Snake Face!" He stared at the weird looks from his comrades. "What? That man's evil and fine as hell."

Anko slipped her shirt on with a hiss. "It doesn't matter. He knows about Orochimaru and is blackmailing me. I need to find out what he wants and now, before this gets too out of hand."

"How much more out of hand can it be?" Itachi muttered.

Anko stared at the girl staring at her in the mirror. She was still deadly pale; making the brown bags under her eyes all the darker. She was tired and frail, but determined. Tightening her ponytail, she turned to the boys and declared that it was time to go. Due to hospital policy, Anko was rolled out of the building in a wheelchair, though she didn't complain much due to being too sore to walk.

Just as they were mere feet from the exit, two figures jumped in front of them.

"We'll take her from here, boys," the one in a crane mask stated gruffly.

Ryik felt an outbreak of sweaty storms swim down his back. These were the exact men who had dragged him out of Itachi's house over a month ago!

"Oh, hell no!" Ryik growled, defensively stepping in front of Anko. "If you think that—"

Itachi pulled Ryik back, a warning in his solid eyes. As soon as he was sure Ryik was calm, he turned his attention to the ANBU before them. "What do you want?"

"We're here to take Miss Mitarashi here to her meeting."

"Like hell you—" Anko's vice grip paused Ryik's heated yell.

"It's fine, Ryik." Anko assured with a wink. "I'm sure these…gentlemen here have far better things to do than harass a wounded kunoichi and two kids." She gracefully stood from her wheelchair, holding back the urge to clutch her stomach when a heated sting from through her body. "Take me away, boys."

Ryik and Itachi watched with intense glares. "Go after them?" Itachi suggested.

Ryik stuck his fingers in a glob of mud and ran the substance under his eyes. "It's on!"

Meanwhile…

"What is it?" a gruff, irritated voice responded to the ANBU's knock.

"We've brought Anko Mitarashi, Lord Danzo."

Anko searched the eerie hallways. Besides her and the two ANBU, there was not another soul in sight. Suddenly, she was jerked from the dark ally and thrust into the slightly lighter room.

"Behave yourself, girl," one of them barked before closing her into the dark prison-like room.

Anko growled and was ready to claw the door down when a wicked voice grabbed her attention.

"Miss Mitarashi," it spoke, "please, come take a seat."

Anko hesitantly stood, hissing at the spike of pain in her abdomen from her surgery.

"Over here, please."

She squinted into the darkness to see a teapot surrounded by several other smaller dishes. It seemed as though he was planning a tea party of some sort. Was this his attempt to poison her? Danzo placed a cup in front of her as she painfully sat down.

"Sugar," he offered, "Lemon, perhaps?"

Anko pushed the porcelain away. "Thanks for the forged hospitality, but I'd like us to get right down to business."

Danzo settled the tipping cup and regained his composer, smiling calmly at her urgency. "My gracious, I apologize sincerely."

Anko watched his bony fingers stir a spoon of sugar into his own cup of tea.

"You must be quite worried about him, scared to death, actually." He stirred casually, keeping his eye on the brown liquid. "After all," he took a short sip, catching a glimpse of the light blush on Anko's illuminated face, "he is your sensei, among other things apparently…"

Anko's curled hand came down on the desk, causing the dishes there to clatter. "Shut up!"

"Mind your tone, young lady." Danzo stated, his line of sight turning to the door. "Despite the private meeting, we are far from alone."

Cooling the fire inside her, Anko quietly took her seat and hissed, "How did you find out?"

"It was by mistake, really." Danzo stated with a hint of pride. "It was directly after your house-arrest sentence was lifted, when that rather stunning man and his ghost son moved into the apartment across from your own."

Anko's blood reached a new degree of cold.

"I had one of my subordinate, who happens to also be a close acquaintance of yours, keep an eye on you during the Mizuki investigation and onward. He declared that our former comrade Orochimaru was living right under our noses. After a definite verification, I had him get as close to you as possible to make sure you were handling the situation. Since then, he's relayed every moment you two have spent together, every…activity you've engaged in, and more importantly, every glossy detail about his undying abuse towards you. "

"Itachi…" Anko gasped inwardly. He…everything… It was all a lie? He was using her too?

Danzo's grin became more sinister. "Oh, I'm sorry, dear, I thought you knew."

Those moments…my time with Orochimaru…they were private! Itachi, how could you?

Anko's hurt eyes lifted up to him as he leaned more into the light. What a plain creature he was. Bandages almost completely covered his face with the exception of his breathing areas and his left eye, which he had kept half-closed all throughout their meeting.

What's he hiding…?

"It seems like everyone you know is doing this to you," he continued, "Orochimaru, Itachi Uchiha, even our gracious Toad Sannin Jiraiya. You must be a magnet for hurt, Miss Mitarashi, and betrayal, now that I think of it." He poured himself another cup of tea, repeating the sugar process from before while keeping a close eye on Anko's face, which was now bent and hidden behind her spiky bangs. "No one seems to truly care about you. Orochimaru only wanted your body, and your misery. Itachi only wanted your skeletons, and God only knows what Jiraiya wanted."

Anko's blood spiked through her veins. This man acted like he knew her so well, just like that snake. She was ready to call a quits with this insulting jerk, but she had to find out where Orochimaru was. Her future, as well as many others, depended on it.

"Cut the crap, old man." Anko spat. "Just tell me where Orochimaru is and I'll let you watch me cut his head off."

Danzo's smirk remained intact, worrying Anko. "In all honest, dearie, I have no idea."

"What?" Anko exclaimed, irate. "But you—"

"I made the claim that I knew of his presence here, but I mentioned no knowledge of where he is or if he was under my guard."

Anko's heart raced. He could be in the very room, ready to send knives through their necks. He could have already done so to the men outside.

"Then, why am I here?"

It all came together.

"Well, Miss Mitarashi, I've developed a fondness for you since our last meeting."

Anko almost gagged. She remembered good and well the day she took out well over forty skilled ANBU and caught the eye of this psycho. Not to mention it was the day she met Itachi.

He went on with a hint of mocking symphony "And because of this fascination, it tears my heart to have to see such a youthful beauty like yourself rot away in a prison cell, or face the lethal injection sentence of all sentences."

"…And…you plan to do what about it?"

"I'm offering you a chance for redemption."

Oh…gross…

"I don't do prostitution." Anko stated flatly. "And no offense—well, actually lots of offense—but I've had more than enough of my share of old men."

Danzo laughed as if they were sharing a timeless joke. "What great fun you are, Miss Mitarashi!" He took a moment to allow the humor to subside before continuing. "However, you may rest assure: I am much to old to try and start something like that. And with much offense,dear, you probably wouldn't be able to excite me right away."

Anko's face spewed with fire. How dare he insult her ego in such a way! "You asshole!" she screamed. "Motherfucker! I've seduced S-class villains and teenage boys alike, and I know that you'll have a hard-on fifteen miles long if I so much as touch you!"

The smile on the ANBU leader was weakening. "I was referring more to a sentence of servitude, my dear. Your cooperation, as well as your companionship necessarily, of course, in exchange for the guarantee that this clandestine sin of yours is never revealed."

Anko was less than impressed or concerned. After the hell she had suffered within the last two months, she was ready for the poison. Now that Iruka was gone and Itachi had probably betrayed her (and dragged Ryik into it), she had noting else to live for. Still, it would be interesting to see exactly what this creep wanted her to do.

"Lay out the tasks."

"Oh, it's nothing you wouldn't be able to handle."

That was all he said, and that silence was all she needed. She couldn't trust him. She sighed and stood up slowly. "I'm afraid I wouldn't be qualified in the fields you're insinuating to."

Danzo stood with her, a new emotion seeping into his aging face. "You won't last much longer if you refuse."

"Well then, old man, you truly don't know a thing about me." Anko smirked, greatly trustworthy of her strength and abilities.

Danzo sighed. "If that's the way you're going to be, then I can't protect you."

"I never wanted you to." Anko stated. Out of sheer habit, she bowed, hissing lightly at the pain in her abdominal. "I'll be on my way, then." She received no response and took it as a hurry up and get lost sign. Just as she was assured that she was free, Danzo's eerie voice vibrated against her eardrums.

"Oh, Miss Mitarashi,"

She froze.

"Tell Orochimaru the next time you do see him that I would be very much grateful if he could pull the same hat trick on Iruka Umino as he did Mizuki."

Anko's horror-filled face shot to him, her heart beating with agony at the knowledge.

He did do it!

Danzo retook his seat, smirking in his devilish fashion. "He…did such a great job."

Anko found her ability to move again and grasped hold to it, squeezing every drop of her energy out until she was a good distance away from that hell auction and its Lucifer.

.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.

Orochimaru's tired facade shaped into a glare as the door to his prison cell opened and a merry soul entered so damn casually that he wanted to rip the shackles on his wrists off and choke the man with them.

"Why so glum, Orochimaru?" the man laughed. "I thought we were good friends."

Orochimaru growled and jumped from the metal slab he was sitting on, so badly trying to break from those chafing chains and grab the man's throat. He was face-to-face with him now and could manage a hot glob of saliva. "You son of a bitch! How the fuck could you do this to me?"

The dark figure shook with laughter, not even bothering to wipe the vile from his face. Why would he need to? He was well covered by that mask.

"Honestly, Orochimaru, would you rather be with me or the ANBU, who were so eagerly on your ass?"

Orochimaru grinded his teeth and stood back slightly. This moron was right though. If he had been out there for another few minutes, he would have been picked up by the Hokage's goons. Or worse, Danzo's. He calmed down only slightly enough to listen to the man's excuse.

"Fine, you've made a point. Now, what the hell do you want?" He could feel the heat from the man's smirk.

"I've a very simple man, Orochimaru, with very simple demands."

Orochimaru chuckled. What a liar! "And these simple demands, are what exactly?"

"Come back to the Akatsuki."

Orochimaru frowned bitterly. "I barely left."

"True, but you basically abandoned your position and your partner, which pissed me off royally. You know how it is to…" he stopped all together when he saw how Orochimaru purposely annoyed him. "You little bastard."

"Hmm?" Orochimaru hummed playfully. "I apologize, but you bore the hell out of me."

The masked man crossed his arms and leaned into the bars. "Well, maybe this will spark your interest: I also want you to give up this affair you're having with that Leaf bitch."

Orochimaru's interest did spark, as well as stomach-full of anger and protective instinct. "How did you know about that?"

The man simple chuckled. "The whole Akatsuki knows. You were so careless, you know, simply walking in and out of this village without so much as disguise. Not to mention you just up and abandoned you research. You have the hardest time sticking to something. I wonder how long you would have stuck to that girl."

"Shut up." Orochimaru spat.

"Why? She's just a random fuck, right? And what from Zetsu's been examining, a good one."

Orochimaru's fists curled into his pants cloth. "Shut your mouth."

Despite the limits, the man continued. "Too good for you alone, apparently."

Orochimaru's fangs dug into his gums, filling his mouth with sour blood.

"How does it feel, Orochimaru, to be the omega for once? To know that your own student is entirely able to beat you at your own game?"

"Shut UP!"

"And more importantly," he edged in closer, moving a lock of hair away from Orochimaru's anguished face, "how tortured is your ego now that she's fucking someone else?"

Orochimaru felt his control snap. He growled madly and lunged for the man's throat, only to be sidestepped and restricted by the bruising chains.

"Oh, I'm sorry, am I getting a bit too personal?"

Orochimaru fought against the clanking metal, snarling at the masked man the whole time. "You're getting a bit too cocky."

The Man pushed him back, causing his opponent to hit the hard bench. A crimson blanket of heat and anger stretched over Orochimaru's face as the man pressed his pointed knee between his legs.

"She's got you right by the dick, Orochimaru, but I'm offering your freedom back. I can rid you of her spell once and for all. All you have to do is come back with me and give up on this damn revenge quest." The grip he had on Orochimaru's arms tightened. "Or, if you still refuse, I can resort to other measures."

Orochimaru smirked through the sting. He loved playing this game. It was a fight of dominance between the two of them, a battle for control of each other as well as their minions. And no matter what kinds of cards were dealt, Orochimaru always found a royal flush.

"Let me guess, you'll kill me."

A chuckle.

"No, I'll kill her."

Orochimaru's expression was wiped clean. "W-what?"

He pulled back, grinning under his mask. "It'd be a win on all of our parts: I'll get one of my members back, you'll be free of the witch's spell, and she'll be free of…well, what ever torture you so painfully inflicted on her."

Orochimaru stared with wide, confused eyes at his calloused hands. Kill Anko? He hated her guts at the moment, yes, but even he wasn't ready to pull the plug. Ever since he saw her lying there, life draining from her pale face, fever spiking, he felt the parental instinct to protect her, to save her from any and all harm. She would definitely need it if he got involved.

"That won't be necessary," he stated. "I'll return to your pathetic organization, but you have to leave Anko to me."

The man slumped into the wall. "What's your plan?"

Orochimaru shrugged, trying to still the quiver in his lips. "Probably screw her one more time, maybe leave her half alive, I am still pissed she tried to kill me, after all."

The masked man chuckled. "You are such a liar."

Orochimaru frowned, hating that this man could read him more easily than Anko could. "Just let me handle it, will you?"

The man laughed. "Oh, I'm sure you will."

Orochimaru held his breath as he once again pressed against him. What was his deal today?

"You know," he spoke with the sound of clanking chains. "I was told she keeps her doors unlocked. You may want to warn her to do otherwise, when you bid her goodbye."

Orochimaru immediately brought his freed hands to his defense, only to find them worthless as the masked horror exited the lonesome prison cell, leaving the door open for Orochimaru's departure.."I'll be sure she gets the message, Madara."

Madara Uchiha chuckled. "I'll make sure of that."

Orochimaru's sour smirk faded when Madara disappeared. Tonight would be it; he would forever say goodbye to Anko Mitarashi and save both of their lives.

Perhaps…

.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.

Anko barely had the strength to call out to the two figures following her. "Go away guys." she sighed with the little patience she had left.

Ryik and Itachi stepped out into the open and ran to her sides.

"Well, what happened?" Itachi pressed.

Anko cringed slightly.

"He got ya,didn't he?" Ryik burst out. He covered his face and began to wail pathetically. "Oh, lord no! Why God! Why are you sending this girl to a prison full of horny, sweaty inmates who need manicures and lovin'! Take me! Take me instead! Please take me instead…"

Itachi closed his eyes and let the urge to choke, disembowel, and what ever he could do to Ryik without completely killing him slip into the dust. His attention was instantly back on Anko however when he saw her moving on, not even a glance at Ryik's obscure behavior.

"Anko!" he called out as he caught up to her. "Seriously, what did he say?"

Anko finally paused, her teeth clamping together in an angry gnash. "Well, Itachi, if you must know," You traitor. "Danzo pulled me aside today and told me who my real friends were." She slowly turned back to him, eyes flaring. "And apparently, you're not one of them."

Cold sweat pasted onto Itachi's back. "Anko, what are you—"

"Oh, shut up," she snapped. "You know exactly what I'm talking about." She glared at him, yet was more than hoping that he would jump up and try to defend himself to reassure her that Danzo was nothing but a liar.

But, Itachi's impassive features were soon racked with guilt. "I'm sorry."

"Then it's true?"

"I—well, yes and no. At first I was spying on you, but then…"

"Then what?" she growled.

Itachi looked like he was going to be sick. "I…"

He couldn't do it. He wanted to so much, but he lacked the ability to full express his emotions, courtesy of his influences and own screwed up mind.

Anko swallowed the painful lump in her dry throat and clenched the patch under her shirt. "You are truly a good ninja, Itachi."

The Uchiha's eyes lifted.

She turned to him, an impassive smile matching the bitter tears locked in her eyes. "You do anything you have to, hurt anyone, to complete an order."

Itachi gasped, his pounding head shaking.

"You betrayed me…" she continued, her voice rising as the hurt overflowed.

"You screw up, it's your own fault."

"You lied to me…"

"You have us, Anko. No matter what happens, you'll always have me…and Ryik."

"You…are just like Orochimaru!"

"No…" Itachi repeated several times. "Anko…Anko, it wasn't supposed to happen like this!"

"You could have told me, Itachi! I would have understood!"

"I couldn't…Anko…I was too…he said it was nothing. I swear! He said we could just brush it off, that Orochimaru was no threat!"

"You're lying…"

"No…don't say that… It was a mistake. I didn't know he was going to hurt you like that!"

"Shut up!"

"Orochimaru's the one that hurt you, Anko, not me!"

"Shut the hell up!"

He'll be done with you in a week.

He was Itachi.

"I'm done!" Anko gasped, walking as fast as she could away from him as she could. "I'm so done."

You mean nothing to them.

"Anko!" Itachi called after her. "Anko, no! I'm sorry! Please don't go!"

Don't leave me.

Ryik, who had been the sole witness to the event, was just as stunned as Itachi but not nearly as hurt. "Uchiha," he whispered in an attempt to comfort his still comrade, "come on, man, she didn't—"

Itachi burst from his grip and ran. Ran away from him, from her, from everything.

"Itachi! Come back, man!"

Don't leave.

.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.

Here I lay, helpless and left for dead.

Close your eyes, so many days gone by.

Easy to find what's wrong,

Harder to find what's right.

"You got that right." Anko muttered as she flicked the little radio on her desk off. She and thought listening to music would help, but the record she had on was just flat out depressing. Was it truly possible to lose everything and everyone you cared about in one day? The way she was putting two and two together, it was.

She wondered how Iruka was doing. Was he happy with Tsubaki? Were they fucking on a daily basis?

She sighed, trying to rid those ideas away. Iruka was not that kind of person, at least he wasn't last time she saw him. He still couldn't be on his crazy streak right? Grief turned people into nasty little creatures; she of all people knew this.

And what about Itachi? Was he really the treacherous SOB she thought he was? She felt like she had been too hard on him. After all, he had been one of the few people to keep a promise to her.

I'm not leaving you.

And he hadn't, she left him.

A sharp knock stung at her senses. "Come in." she called out hoarsely.

The bedroom door opened, and a smiling Jiraiya entered with a white box under his arm. "Unbelievable! The restless Anko Mitarashi is actually obeying orders!" he laughed as he sat the box down on the desk. "I thought I'd never see the day." He took one look at her eyes and his heart dropped. "Anko, what's wrong?"

The demented youth stared at the Toad Sannin. He had hurt her too, but she had forgiven him, and he was still trying to make amends for his wrong.

Her friend.

Her savior.

Her father.

Anko slung herself into Jiraiya's strong chest and started to scream her lungs out. All the sorrow, the anger, the hurt, every emotion she had felt during the last two months flowed out.

Jiraiya wasn't too unsure of what to do. He had held many sobbing women in his time, many of who were intoxicated and involved a certain type of comfort he would never induced on Anko. Not to mention that rare moment many years ago when his beloved friend Tsunade had lost her boyfriend.

"What's wrong, honey?" Jiraiya whispered into her shaking head. "What happened?"

Anko pulled back enough to catch her breath and let Jiraiya in on her sorrows. "Jiraiya, I feel like such an idiot."

Jiraiya gnashed his teeth together. "All right, what did that Iruka kid do?"

Anko laughed slightly, wiping her eyes. "It wasn't him, at least not all of him."

"Then who?" When Anko wouldn't look at him, he clashed her hands between his, wanting to force the answer out of her. "Come on, Anko, talk to me! You know that I'll love you no matter what happens."

Yeah, right.

Despite that thought, Anko began from the happenings after that dreadful mission they went on, up unto her break-up with Iruka which led to her depression from her appendix surgery (purposely leaving out her tea party with Danzo knowing he would flip). All the while Jiraiya listened to her with an understanding expression and kind eyes.

"You remind me of Tsunade when she was your age." Jiraiya laughed gently. "Always hormonal, beating herself up for things she shouldn't be responsible for."

Anko punched Jiraiya on the arm. "This is serious! I'm not hormonal, I'm damn depressed and I freaking want to know what to do!"

"All right, all right!" He defended, rubbing his abused arm. "I wish I could tell you to get the hell away from it all a few days, but your health is a huge factor to consider at the moment."

"Screw my health!" Anko reacted.

"Well, damn, Anko. I'm sorry, but you're not leaving this village, let alone this apartment, until you've heal from surgery."

Anko snorted mockingly. "I should have known you'd try to cast me off, too."

"Anko, it's not like that." Jiraiya defended with an annoyed sigh. "I just think your health is your main priority right now. Besides, I won't leave until this all slides. I promise."

"Now that," Anko emphasized, "is a lie."

"What?"

Anko pulled away from him, hugging her knees closely in an attempt to get the warmth she gave him back. "You're not the kind of guy to stay in one place for long, Jiraiya; I'm surprised you've stuck around this long."

"I've stuck around," Jiraiya defended with a growl, "because I was scared to death about you." Hesitantly, he soothed her shoulder, "And I'm not leaving until I see that smile on your face again."

"That's gonna take a while…" Anko muttered. She stared at the hand Jiraiya had placed on her. It was that same hand that had knocked her to the floor outside the very room they were in just a few weeks ago. It was also the hand that had held hers during the heartbreak of her childhood as well as her later years when she really began to fall apart. It was the hand that led her out of the darkness her dearsensei had thrown her in.

A questionable idea came to her: Could it lead her out a second time?

"Jiraiya," Anko began in a small, almost child-like tone.

Deception.

"You remember about three months ago when you asked if I wanted to travel with you?"

Jiraiya nodded, his eyes already catching suspicion.

"Well…I want to do it!" she grasped the hand between hers excitedly. "I want to go with you!"

Jiraiya stared at as if he were on drugs. She couldn't be serious! He pulled away gently, stepping off the bed. "Um…"

Anko frowned at his hesitating silence. She as well stood with the intention of leaving. "Sorry, didn't realize the offered had an expiration date."

Jiraiya reached for her arm as she tried to escape the room. "The offer hasn't expired, Anko, I'm just concerned. You're so delicate right now, sweetheart, I don't want you to push yourself."

"How about we give me a few more days, then?" Anko inquired almost desperately.

"I'll have to think about it." Jiraiya said. "Look, just get some rest, and I'll put some thought into it."

Anko grabbed his arm before he could get too far. "Promise me you'll let me know in person."

"Of course I will."

Anko's grip only tightened. "Jiraiya, please, I need your help."

Jiraiya held back a sigh. "I'll see what I can do."

She watched him leave with anxious eyes. He was right; she needed to get out of here; out of her apartment and straight out of the village. Jiraiya was the perfect ticket. He could get her hundreds of miles away from this place.

Away from the nightmares.

"And you really think that will help you?"

Anko flipped over to growler at the figure standing beside her bed. Her expression paled slightly when she saw the blotch of blood on the side of his face. "What the heck happened to you?"

The sly grin on Mizuki's face vanished. "I'm dead; I'm supposed to look like this."

Anko sighed and lay back down. "I'll keep that in mind."

"What's with the sad face? I thought I'd get a laugh or something if I came out like this."

Anko pressed the pillow down on her head. "Go away."

"Aw," Mizuki sneered, pressing his palms into the soft space of Anko's mattress, "what's wrong, little wretch, being a slut not all it cut out to be?"

Anko threw the pillow on her head at him, missing him. "Get out of my room!"

"Get out of my room!" Mizuki whined in a vain attempt to mock her voice. "You're a whiney little bitch today."

Anko defiantly curled up on her side, refusing to give this worm a moment of her time.

He sighed at her hunched form. How was he supposed to mess with her if she kept ignoring her? It's not like he could harm her anymore, physically that is.

"You're also unentertaining," he mumbled under his breath.

"Mizuki," Anko growled with weak venom, "If you say one more world, so help me God, I'll—"

"You'll what," Mizuki laughed, "kill me? Little too late for that, princess!"

Anko shot up with the intention of doing a lot worse to the prick but was shocked to discover that he was gone.

"That's my girl."

Anko swatted around her head to get his bee-like voice out of her brain.

A knock at her door instantly vanished those thoughts. She rose quickly to answer it, hoping it was Jiraiya with quick news.

Even though the person she wanted to see wasn't there, she was not entirely disappointed.

"Itachi!" Anko breathed calmly.

"Lord Hokage has requested your presence," the Uchiha stated in the most monotone she had ever hear him use. He closed the door, leaving Anko to dress in private. Well, almost privately.

She met the statue of a man at the exit of her apartment complex entrance. She didn't exactly know how to approach him after her outburst. She had been unfair and unjust and knew it had cut him deeply.

"Hi," she said gently.

"Let's go," was his response.

"Itachi," she groaned, trying to keep in pace with him. "Look, I'm sorry about earlier. It was stupid for me to accuse you like that. I know you wouldn't purposely do something like that to me."

Itachi stopped abruptly, causing Anko to almost collide into him. He turned to her, barely a head shorter than her, making him all the more sinister.

"Than it would seem you don't know me at all."

Anko gasped. Before she could blink, the tip of a kunai was angled at her windpipe. She looked into the Sharingan bleached eyes of her formercomrade. This wasn't the Itachi who clonked Ryik each time he got out of line, or the one that helped comfort when she was on the verge of slitting her own throat, or the one who whispered false promises and reassurances to her when she was breaking.

This was a stranger. Someone who hated her.

A monster.

Another Orochimaru.

He turned away, lowering his head. "Let's go."

Anko made sure there was a good distance between her and the unsettled Uchiha before she moved again. She followed him in silence. Even with all the ANBU and jounin-level shinobi waltzing around the Hokage residence, she still fell unsafe. The entranceway to Hiruzen's office lightened her fear to the slightest extent. Itachi knocked on the door softly and was greeted with a shout outside the door.

"Who the hell is it?"

Itachi and Anko flinched. "It's Anko Mitarashi, sir."

Anko glared at the boy and shook her head.

"Send her in." the Hokage's gruff, aging voice spoke after a moment.

Itachi pointed to the door, his expression stating: "Go in; I am not dealing with this crap."

She stared at him, her own expression reading: "I'm not going in there!"

"Damn it, someone get your ass in here!" the Hokage boomed from outside.

Catching Anko off-guard, Itachi grabbed her arm and pushed the shrieking girl into Hiruzen's office. For a boy four years younger than her, he

"Itachi, you bastard!" Anko snarled as the door slammed shut. She pushed herself up, cursing him as she straightened her appearance, and look up to see the two sets of eyes staring at her.

One was filled with laugher and insecurity.

The other was filled with…

Hurt. Great going, Anko.

"Jiraiya," the Hokage with the sad eyes said, "please allow Anko and I a moment alone to talk."

"Of course." Jiraiya sighed. As he walked past the nervous youth, he mouthed, "Be strong."

"Don't leave me!" Anko mouthed back.

It seemed as if no one was going to listen to her today.

She took in a deep breath and approached the Hokage slowly, her eyes focusing on on the slow strides of the pen in his hand. "H-hey!" she greeted as cheerfully as possible. "What's up?"

The pen paused and Hiruzen slowly met her eyes. His squinted slightly, as if he were tying to focus on something important. "Anko, you're shacking. Are you all right?"

Anko gulped.

Another Orochimaru.

He watched the hesitation on her face. This was the same expression she had had on her face for three months now, but with deeper fear.

"I'm fine." Anko lied. "I'm just…"

"Worried about my answer?"

She frowned. "That's part of it, sir."

Hiruzen sat back and pulled out his kiseru, inserting his mint-smelling leaves before bringing it to a light. "What's this crap Jiraiya told me about you wanting to leave with him?"

Anko stood her ground. "I'm losing my mind, Lord Hokage."

"Anko, leaving with a horny moron like Jiraiya will help you how?"

"HEY!" the man in discussion shouted outside.

"You know it's true." Hiruzen shouted back. He turned back to Anko. "Well?"

"That horny moron," Anko explained defensively, "is the closes thing I have to a father I have ever had. I trust him with my life, and I know with his guidance…I can forget about Orochimaru."

There was a wave of density at the mention of the monster's name, but it soon passed and business was restored.

"I still don't quite understand why you want to leave."

"Because I'm being suffocated here!" Anko burst. "Every time I turn around I'm in the hospital, getting raped or hurt, or…or something!"

"Well that is no one's fault but your own." Hiruzen fought back. "And if you ask me, the missions I've been sending you on are what's making you ill. If you ask me, what you really need is a few months of meditation and rest."

"That's what I'm asking for!" Anko exclaimed. "But I need it as far away from this village as possible."

"Why?" the Hokage yelled with irritation. "What could you possible get from Jiraiya that you can't get right in this village?"

"How about a fucking piece of mind!" Anko screamed, her arms flying in the air as a strange ghost of a smile spread over her lips. "Too much has happened here for me to heal! My bastard of an ex-sensei trained me here, my ex-fiancé screwed me in the apartment I live in, every person in this village either hates or loves me for something I didn't do!"

Hiruzen froze. He knew Anko had a lot of baggage on her back, but he had no idea she felt so strongly about them. She had always held everything in so well that he couldn't see the cracks slowly spreading apart.

Anko dropped into the chair, laughing softly as the twisted smile twitched on her lips. "I don't know what I'm doing anymore!" she yelled out loud.

Hiruzen watched the tense shudders run through her fragile body. He had seen this once before and it had terrified him.

His eighteen-year-old protégé had had that same crooked grin on his face before he went mad.

He had to save her.

"Anko," he whispered calmly but urgently, "calm down. Please."

She rubbed her eyes with the soles of her hands. "Fine. What?"

The elderly man drummed his fingers against the desk in frustration. He had to make a decision. Was Anko ready to leave everything? What would this experience do to her? Would it make her better, stronger, or would it push her right over the edge. He hated to, but he re-summoned Jiraiya.

"How long?" Hiruzen sighed in question before taking a long, intoxication drag from his pipe.

"Sir?"

"How damn long will you be gone when you leave again?"

Jiraiya looked back and forth at the faces in the room. He summed up an estimate in his head and sighed. "If Anko were to accompany me, I would be gone about three years."

"What!"

Even Anko, who was still partially trapped in her daze, was shocked at that amount of time. Could she really handle being away from Konoha that long?

Yes.

She had nothing here now but cold memories and poison blood.

She looked up again and the eyes were on her.

"Well, Anko," Hirzuen scowled, "are you willing to do it? Can you leave with Jiraiya for that long and focus on your training?"

She pretended to give it some thought.

"I admit, the time-lapse is far more than I'd think it'd be, however,"

More lying.

"I think I could handle it," she turned a sly grin to Jiraiya. "As long as toad-breath here keeps his hands to himself."

Jiraiya laughed whole-heartedly. "You see, old man, she can handle herself!" he turned to the Hokage and his smile faded.

He didn't even attempt to conceal his grave dismay from them.

Anko sighed and smiled gently, placing her unscarred hand over his dry, aged one. "You're disappointed?"

Hiruzen placed his pipe down and enclosed her soft hand. "Just worried." He stood and circled the desk, standing before her. He stared at her, the infant girl Orochimaru had found in a garbage can seventeen years earlier, the twelve year old who his men found in shock on a beach, and the beautiful young girl reaching adulthood too fast. He pulled her close, fearing that if he didn't do so now he would never see her again.

"Promise me you'll come back."

She allowed herself to enter his embrace. "Three years will be over before you know it." she pulled back and smiled, truly smiled. "Look on the bright side; you'll have one less criminal report to file."

He forced a smile back, but couldn't dissolve the sickening fear hardening in his stomach. Orochimaru had left time after time; it turned him into a monster. What would it do to her?

"Jiraiya," Hiruzen spoke with hardness, "keep this one in check. I expect to see a strong, stable shinobi when you two return."

"Yes, sir," Jiraiya replied, wrapping a protective arm around Anko. "Come on kiddo, let's get you ready."

.,.,.,.,.,.,.

"She's…WHAT?"

Itachi flinched and shook his head a little to get the feeling back in his right ear. "She's leaving, Ryik, packing her bags and heading out, leaving the coop, whatever you want to call it."

"I want to call it a messed up ANBU's bad judgment!" Ryik shrieked, pacing back and for the so quickly the grass began to burn. "How could she do this to me? I'm her boy, man! And after all we've been through together! WHY?" Ryik burst into a flood of over-exaggerated tears, but was justified with his hurt.

Itachi leaned stone cold against one of the trees, allowing his own hurt to flow in and out ineffectively. "Why should you feel anything about that unfeeling wretch? She obviously doesn't deserve it if she chooses to up and leave without even discussing it with us."

Ryik glared through the water on his face. "Watch it, Uchiha."

"You know it's true," the Uchiha muttered.

Ryik jumped and took a seat beside him. "Maybe we should do something for her."

"There's no 'we' when involving that woman, Ryik." Itachi stated bitterly.

"How about a pair of curtains?" Ryik suggested, having completely ignored Itachi's reply. "At least then when you spy on her you won't have to see who she doin'."

Itachi's face turned into a deeper scarlet than that of his eyes. "Whoa, whoa, WHOA! I did not spy on her."

"Really," Ryik scoffed, "Than what should I call you sneakin' out of your house at two, three am at night just to look into her window."

"That was one time," Itachi defended. "And it was when he was in the picture; you would have done it too."

"Oh, yeah." Ryik agreed.

Itachi ran his toe in the grass, thinking the whole situation would make him vomit. "Ryik, try to understand." He turned to his friend and put his hands on his shoulders, trying to explain everything to him like the way a parent would tell their child that one of their parents weren't coming home. "Anko is really messed up right now, she doesn't want us around. That's why she's leaving."

Ryik pried himself from Itachi's grip, glaring at him. "I ain't the smartest cookie in the jar Uchiha, but I know for one I ain't the reason she's leaving."

Itachi flinched and stalked away. "Well then, see you when she's gone."

"You're a real asshole, you know that!" He watched as Itachi stormed into the early morning air. "Son of a gun," he muttered, jumping off the bench and trotting off to handle the situation himself.

.,.,.,.,.,.

Anko closed her closet door-for the last time. She carelessly folded the shirt over her arm and stuffed it in her bag with the rest of the few belonging she was taking. She stared at her bare dresser and picture-less headboard with a sense of guilt. She was actually leaving all of this behind, burying it all in a waiting box.

Yet, she knew it was for the best. For her, for Iruka, and for the people she had hurt the most.

A knock at the window sparked her senses. "Jiraiya?" she inquired, pulling the blind up just enough to see Ryik clutching onto the wall for dear life.

"Anko…help!"

Anko gasped and opened the window quickly, allowing Ryik to topple in and land on Anko's naked bed. She waited for Itachi to follow, but it would seem that Ryik came alone for once. It was almost supernatural.

"Hey," she greeted hastily.

Ryik picked himself up and sent his hand under his shirt, pulling out a sloppily wrapped package. "It's a…" his expression dropped some, "goodbye present."

Anko's lips quivered as she forced a smile, carefully pulling off the soaked paper. "Again with the glue. Ryik?"

The youth in question was too busy trying to rub the globs off his hands to answer her.

She removed the last of the brown and stared at the picture enclosed in a glass frame. It was of her, Iruka, Kakashi, and everyone else who had been present at her party what seemed like an eternity ago. Ryik, of course, was hanging over the couch, looking nervous now that he had Anko's fiery glare on him. Itachi, cool and elusive, was in the back, under the HAPPY 17TH ANKO-GIRL (and Ryik) banner.

"Ryik, this is great." she patted his head. "But…" she placed it carefully on the dresser. "It'll be safer here."

Ryik shrugged, turning to hide the hurt on his face. Maybe Itachi was right for once; maybe Anko was starting to hate them.

He was snatched out of this idea when Anko wrapped her arms tightly around him. He didn't realize how tall he had grown since his stay in Konoha. He was almost at Anko's shoulder now. She pulled away, which he hated.

"I…should finish packing," she said. "I leave soon."

"Right!" Ryik laughed with a shaky smile. He turned quickly so that she wouldn't see his face.

"Oh, Ryik, hang on a second!"

Ryik froze on command and wiped his eyes quickly. "Yo, what?"

Anko came up beside him and held her hand out to him.

Ryik examined the brass object. "A key?"

"You better take good care of this place." Anko stated with a smile. "I want it to be in one piece when I get back. Maybe you'll get a couple of neighbors now that I'm gone." His smile turned into a frown suddenly. "If you throw any parties, I'll kick your ass."

Ryik swallowed the lump in his throat and squeezed the key tightly. "I'll remember that." He bowed his head and felt Anko disappear to retrieve her bag. She brushed past him, stopping only to look down at him.

"Take care, Katzan."

.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.

Hiruzen and the council were there to see the two off. Apparently, a psycho teenager leaving with an equally crazy man almost thirty years her senor was a big deal for them.

The Hokage presented her with a new headband, this one free off all her memories of battles, missions, and friendly scraps with the villagers. It was time to make some new ones.

"You'll be a Tokubetsu Jōnin when you return," Hiruzen explained as she tied it, "Earn your title, Anko."

"Got it," Anko chirped. She exchanged hard handshakes with Koharu and Homura (both of whom were silently thrilled to have her out of their hair for a little while).

"And make sure you sleep with a kunai; there are some crazy people on the road, Anko." his eyes drifted to Jiraiya for a moment.

"Check."

"And wear plenty of warm clothes or you'll—"

Anko grabbed Hiruzen's arms and shook him slightly. "I. Will. Be. Fine." She growled between each shake. She managed a smile and embraced. "Three years will be over before you know it."

He sighed as she pulled back and adjusted her backpack. "Just be careful."

"I'm a feisty seventeen year old girl, what's the worst that can happen?"

"I can think of three things." Homura muttered.

She jogged up to Jiraiya who welcomed her with a thankful. "Ready to go, kiddo?"

She shrugged. "I guess so." She was far from having second thoughts, but she had wished that a few certain ex-boyfriends had showed up to wish her happy traveling. Oh well, right? She turned to look at the aging faces watching her, once of which had bloodshot eyes.

I'm not like him.

She tried to mentally remind him. She found the gall to turn away from him, swallowing a lump of guilt as she did. Something caught her eye as she did. It seemed at first to just be a zip of light, but then the shape of a person came to mind. She turned to look, but saw nothing but shadows.

"I think we can make it to the mountains by nightfall. We'll camp out there." He turned to see if Anko had registered what he had said, but saw that she was behind him staring at something unseen. "Anko?"

She blinked and began walking, hiding her fearful eyes. "Sorry, I thought I saw someone."

He chuckled. "Maybe it's your Guardian Angel."

Anko thought about that for a moment and laughed back. "Sure, I could sure as hell use one."

,.,.,.

Jiraiya woke up sometime that night; a habit that he had developed ever since he had began to hunt down Orochimaru. But instead of the snake or the eerie blackness of an empty room, he saw Anko staring at the dying flames of the campfire.

He stared at her pensive expression, wondering what was going through her head. She remained silent however, keeping him cast out as always. He didn't feel like putting up with her monotone attitude tonight though; he would be able to stomach it better after some sleep.

"Sometimes I think I should die," Anko spoke up suddenly.

Jiraiya opened one of his eyes to look at her.

"I feel so useless all the time, like all I'm good for is to be a toy for other people. So I think, "Why not die?" it's not like there aren't other toys out there to pick from."

"What the hell got you so depressing?" Jiraiya laughed with a hidden sense of worry.

Anko chuckled as well. "I don't really think that much anymore."

Jiraiya yawned out his relief. "Good. You dying would be like a star exploding; there so many that you couldn't miss just one, yet when you look up at the sky one clear night, you know something has happened, and the sky isn't as

"Besides, you're too much of a Martyr. I'm not worried a bit about you pulling the trigger."

She stopped mid-turn at those words. "What?"

Jiraiya glanced back. "Huh? Oh, it's nothing. Come on; I'm no good without eight hours."

Anko stayed rooted for a moment longer. He had just called her a martyr? Of all the things she had been called, or thought herself to be, a martyr had never crossed her mind. Was it even true?

She had risked possible ambush to save a man she hated from her former sensei's poison.

She had gone through three heart attacks for said hated man's girlfriend who had imperiously stolen her boyfriend out from under her.

She had slept with, fought, and on several occasions maimed a man that she loved and despised more than anyone else on the face of he earth for the sake of a village who despised her.

She had jumped into a burning building to save both her Hokage and her adopted brother.

And now, she was going to train with an absolute pervert for three years in order attempt to save her home from an unknown danger.

Yeah, she and death had become very well acquaintances.

But she was going to change. After her training with Jiraiya, she wasn't going to be the same naïve little kunoichi who would die for anyone. She would protect her village and comrades, but she was not going to die. She would never die until Orochimaru was in the ground first.

That was what she wanted…right?

Yes. It had to be.

"Looks like you've got a lot to look forward to." Mizuki whispered in the darkest corner of her mind.

Anko smirked as she pulled the sleeping bag up to her chin. "I think I can handle it."

.,.,.,.

(sigh) Here we go, one more…