I remember everything…

What have I become, my sweetest friend?

Everyone I know, goes away, in the end.

And you could have it all, my empire of dirt.

I will let you down.

I will make you hurt…

If could start again, a million miles away.

I would keep myself…

I would find…

A way…

Johnny Cash's "Hurt"

.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.

Even three days after she left, The Third Hokage was still in turmoil with himself. He trusted Jiraiya to keep her on the straight and narrow, but he couldn't help thinking that she was going to come home with dark markings under her eyes and an extreme bloodlust.

This scared him to death. Anko had the means to become his worst nightmare. She had been slandered and tortured, among other unspeakable revelations. He placed his pipe down, the usual soothing taste like ash in his mouth. He then bowed his head and prayed the same prayer he had said for over six years.

Please, don't let her turn into him.

A knock interrupted him and he all but threw a book towards the door. "What!"

The door opened quietly and revealed a distraught Iruka Umino.

The Hokage sighed. "Yes Iruka."

The door closed and Iruka stepped in. "Anko, is she really gone?"

Hiruzen looked at him intently. "Yes, she left this morning."

Iruka stood there a moment, appearing unfazed. However this gauze was quickly dropped when he slid to the ground, covering his face with his hands.

Hiruzen stood and quickly made his way to the fallen Chūnin. "What's happened Iruka?"

Iruka explained everything that had happened between Anko and him during the last few weeks, from their date, to their affair, straight to their horrible break-up. The Hokage listened like a good friend and related some of Anko's attitude changes.

"How long will she be gone?" Iruka questioned as he wiped his eyes.

"Three years." Hiruzen stated with distaste.

"Three years!"

"You'll just have to write her in the mean-time, tell her what you told me."

Iruka managed a chuckle. "She'll just write me a death threat."

"Wouldn't surprise me." Hiruzen commented.

Iruka caught site of Hiruzen's expression. "Lord Hokage," he inquired meekly, "Are you…worried?"

"I'm shaking with fear." Hiruzen admitted. "I can't help thinking that this restriction less experience will destroy her."

"Excuse my bluntness sir, but that is ridiculous."

Hiruzen glanced back, hoping for reassurance.

"Anko may be very vulnerable at times, but she is much too pig-headed to allow a little change to corrupt her. She'll use this as a way to strengthen her mind and skills. She'll be just fine when she returns."

Hiruzen smiled saddly. "I hope you're right Iruka. I really do."

"I should go. I'm suppose to be going to the market the get Tsubaki grapefruit juice and chocolate caviar.

Hiruzen made a face.

"Please don't ask."

Hiruzen nodded understandingly. "Who knows, maybe one day you'll be running to cure cravings for a woman carrying your child, Iruka."

Iruka laughed with good humor. "Sadly Lord Hokage, I don't think the woman I'm in love with will want children."

.,.,.,.,.

I love her Ryik.

Tears had never hurt him this much.

Mikoto Uchiha looked up from her lunch dishes as the door to the kitchen screeched open and banged shut, her oldest son being the culprit of the noise.

"Itachi?" she pondered. She gasped at the sight of tears on his face, a sight she had not seen since he was Sasuke's age. "Baby what happened?" she called after him as he stumbled up the stairs.

"Big Brother!" little Sasuke cheered when Itachi flew past him. Itachi never ignored him. No matter how late it was or what was going on his big brother always found a second to hug him or greet him. But this time, he only had time for anger.

Itachi held back a scream and hurled his bedroom door close, grasping at his hair as he

slammed his back repeatedly into the door. When that became painless, he shot away and began to throw, flip, and destroy anything that was near him. He threw down a chair clattered with books and was met with his reflection. He laughed after a moment of staring just so he could resume his crying.

"This all your fault!" he screamed at the top of his lungs. "Look what you've done you bastard!" He pointed to the enraged boy staring back at him. "You had her…and you just cast it aside!" he slammed his fist into the glass. "You turned her away…and now she hates you!"

.,.,.

Mikoto flinched with each crash that came from upstairs. She looked down at her four year old son and forced a smile. "Sasuke sweetie, go outside and wait for your father to come home."

Sasuke was off like a lighting bolt.

Now that he was safe, Mikoto took in a deep breath and made the bold journey to her oldest son's bedroom.

.,.,.

"She gone now! Gone forever!" Itachi pressed himself against the bloodstained reflection. "And she's never coming back! You've lost her because of your sick games!"

-.-

"There's a possibility that she could get hurt."

"I don't care. She's nothing but a traitor."

Danzo smirked coldly. "Very good."

-.-

"You're no better than he is…than that snake! He lied to her, and you the exact same thing!"

-.-

"I really don't like you."

Itachi smirked aguishly at the annoyed woman in front of him. "Same to you."

But you mean so much to me.

-.-

"You bastard! She's dying on the inside because you didn't protect her! Screw Danzo, screw everyone, you could have saved her from this! You could have stopped him! She is gone forever because of you!"

Someone grabbed his slick fist, preventing any further injury.

Itachi's eyes shot to the bastard holding him back, but his expression softened at the sight of the teary eyes matching his own.

"Stop…" Mikoto whispered.

Itachi made a weak attempt to pull away from her, but she only deepened the embrace by pulling into her arms. Upon feeling her warmth and love after everything he had said and done to her, he gripped her closely and sobbed out his frustrations into his mother's chest. "Mom…Mommy!"

"Shhh." his mother soothed, still not knowing what to do. "it's okay baby, I'm here."

"She's gone Mommy. I lost her…"

.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.

Orochimaru stared at the empty bed with numb anger. She was gone. Her closet was empty, her cabinets were empty, and there was a small envelope on her counter leaving a key, money, and certain instructions to Ryik Katzan whom apparently was going to be living in her apartment for an unknown amount of time.

Gone.

That word echoed painfully in his mind. He never even had the chance to say goodbye.

Dear Ryik and/or Itachi,

By the time you're done reading this, I will be long out of Konoha and somewhere else very far away. I will be spending the next three years training with Jiraiya. You should know it's not your fault. You two are the craziest, most amazing brothers I could ever asked for. I never thought two ten year old could bring me so much laughter, tears, and anxiety attacks! I kind of like you guys, and will write to you as often as possible, if Jiraiya's cheap ass will cough up some stationary once in a while.

-Signed, the amazing Anko Mitarashi!

P.S. Ryik if you are gay when I get back, that's fine, but if I find you and your boyfriend in my bed I'll cut your damn wiener off and feed it to a snake.

He placed the note down slowly, letting it all sink in.

Anko Mitarashi.

The woman he hated, feared, and just slightly loved, was gone. She had chosen freedom over her village, let her boys to grow up without her, let him to obtain his warmth from an other source.

It wasn't fair at all.

That bitch!

Who did she think she was?

Did she really think leaving would keep him from finding her? Oh Hell, he would find her and kill that bastard Jiraiya just to prove her wrong. He would crush every single doubt she had about escaping. He would make her security crash and burn. He would-

He slammed his hands down on the dresser. What was the point? Why did he always have the need to torture her?

It's the only way to keep her around.

Orochimaru slowly loosened up, his eyes closing as he calmed down.

"Do you hate me?"

"No, but I really, really, don't like you."

If she didn't hate him before, she had a reason to now.

"Who'd the pathetic one now Anko?"

But that's what he had wanted to begin with, right?

He wanted her blood, not her love.

He wanted to hear her screams, not her laughter.

He wanted her die at his feet, not sleep peacefully by his side.

He wanted her to suffer, not to replenish.

Yet, he had allowed the irony of his wants to take over, to rule.

"Never again."

This was the last time he'd give in to such emotions. He'd wipe Anko Mitarashi completely out of his mind if it meant gaining his sanity back.

With that, he left Anko's apartment and made his way back to his dark fortress, where two apprentices and a year supply of corpses were awaiting.

Never.

Again.