She had gone to bed elated, and victorious, more so she had gone to bed craving him and lonely again. Anders didn't live with her, she didn't want that from him and he wasn't here when she came back. She would have rather of shared her bed with Isabella while Fenris was gone, but she had left as well. She always knew her time with Isabella was fleeting, but she never guessed their time would end by Isabella knocking her out and running off with a sacred text. She would have felt guilty at how she had used Anders but he had used her as much as she had used him, perhaps she would have ended up with him anyways, if Fenris had never returned. She remembered the night before, how possessive he had been at the party, how angry he had gotten when she had danced with others, it was like he knew she was slipping away, but she was never truly his was she? Maybe that was why he was the way he was, because she was never his and he wanted it so badly. Why did he like her anyways? She was pretty, that wasn't to be played down. She had a sharp wit, and she hung out with amazing dwarves. She thought he mostly liked her as she was an advocate for the mages, but she truly wasn't. She was an advocate for keeping Bethany alive, and if that meant saving other mages then so be it. Half of the mages she ran into she felt deserved to be in the circle. How many times was it that she went to help a mage and they had turned into an abomination? Or what about the blood mage who turned her mother into a corpse doll? She shivered remembering that as she untangled herself from her sheets. They weren't all bad, she did like Merrill, that was a plus for them was Merrill. That was probably about all the pluses there were to blood mages though.

She drew herself a bath as she hated having Bodhan or Orana do anything trivial like that. Bodhan had done it a few times against her wishes, Orana had tried to do it but Hawke had taken the water from her. Bodhan could keep track of her mail, and Orana could clean the cobwebs, but she wanted nothing more from them. She didn't even want that from them. She slid into the hot scented water that gave her that flowery smell and let all her cares slip away. She had to plan what she was doing today. Her schedule was free, she wouldn't be required to play puppet for anyone. Perhaps she would go to the Wounded Coast and play her favorite game of raid the raiders, or slaughter the slavers. Either one seemed like a good idea. Maybe she would run into Coterie and cut them down a peg. They were always after her now-a-days, but she had brought that on herself for messing with their shipments, killing their henchmen… well the list went on, really. She hated them more than she hated the Templars. The way they thought they owned the streets, it was presumptuous and very wrong of them. If anything she owned the streets, she owned most of the businesses now, or at least had a stake in them. That mine was the first step, and that was a naïve decision of hers. Even now her "partner" was sending her letters about problems. It seemed no one survived without her, but perhaps she liked that being in control aspect.

She leaned her head back closing her eyes and letting her hair cascade off the rim of the tub. Yelling was greeting her ears, Bodhan was horrible at keeping people from coming to see her. She could hear footsteps coming up the stairs, and Bodhan saying something about how she couldn't take guests right now, and then she heard Anders' voice. She tilted her head to the door to open her eyes and look at the mage's form in the doorway. He was quite angry she had to guess from the look on his face but even more he was surprised to find her naked, bathing in the tub, it made her smile to see him flustered and gawking at her like a school boy. She guessed Bodhan had the common sense to not follow him into her room, at least she was saved that pair of eyes on her.

"Can I help you, Anders? As you can see I am not suited to take visitors, as I heard Bodhan tell you." She turned her head back to close her eyes.

"Is this some kind of joke to you? Is this another one of your jokes, Hawke?" She ran her hands over her forehead and back to push her hair away from her.

"Whatever are you talking about Anders?" She allowed to look at him again, he was a handsome man. If he didn't have a demon inside of him that wanted her dead she may have forgotten all about Fenris. There was something to his disheveled look that she loved, because it was a look that so wasn't hers.

"You don't come home last night until the Maker knows when and you leave with Fenris. Do I mean nothing to you, Hawke?" Here came the possessive rant, here came the fact that he saw her as a possession. He made her angry, but she wouldn't give him that satisfaction.

"I didn't know you were my mother reincarnated, but yes… you mean nothing to me Anders. We were never anything but friends. Now if you'll excuse me I have things to do." She stood up, letting the water runoff of her to step out of the tub. She saw Anders' go red as he struggled between anger and longing. She grabbed her robe and wrapped it around her to go to walk past him. She knew he would stop her, but she was expecting it. The feeling of his hand around her arm, the way he tried not to apply too much pressure, but was applying enough to show her how strong he was. Perhaps if he showed her all of his testosterone she would cave to his will, it was enough to make her roll her eyes.

"We are nothing? Just friends? What are you talking about? We've done things friends would never do to each other." She wanted to shrug him off but she just stood there looking ahead as he spit his words at her.

"We never had a relationship. It was never called that. I had more of a connection with Isabella than I ever did with you."

"We may have never called it that but it was that. You can say what you will, Hawke, but you know our connection was better than bar hopping with that pirate." She laughed, she honestly laughed at him which angered him enough for his features to start glowing blue. He shoved her against the doorframe and she looked at him with that smirk on her face. "This is all that elf's fault. You are infatuated with him and he cares nothing for you. He left you!" The more Anders raised his voice the more she found this situation funny. "I would never leave you, Hawke, and you spit in my face. You laugh at my affections and scorn me."

" Hello, Vengeance. Are you going to kill me like that little mage girl because if you do can you make it a wee bit less messy than that?" She saw something flash in his face and that blue start to diminish. She had hit a nerve, a memory that had haunted Anders. Anders was losing control over the spirit and she wasn't helping. The closer she got to him, the more he seemed to fray. She wouldn't be a pawn to a spirit like Anders was. He backed away from her and she walked past him to her wardrobe. "I am sorry that you were confused by your place with me, but I am no one's property… and I could never be yours because of Vengeance. He hates me and would be all too happy at my death."

"You would be Fenris' if he asked you. You and I both know that. I don't think he would want you now though. You have changed too much, Hawke… and I can control Vengeance you know that.."

"But you would want me? And I don't think you can anymore." That little outburst showed her that, the slightest bit of anger and Vengeance was there, ready to strike her down.

"I see how good of a soul you have, how you want to help everyone. Fenris will never see past your cold exterior. If you ever change your mind…"

She looked back at him as he left. Anders had the wrong of it. Perhaps Anders was right, that Fenris didn't realize who she truly was, but it seemed Fenris had a better grasp of her than Anders did. Anders would get over this though, he would throw himself into the rebellion of the mages and he would come back to her in a week, she assumed, and ask her to deal with some newest problem that snagged his course.

For now, she had to figure out what she wanted to wear to kill raiders…