Date : 09.05.18

Title : Memory In My Heart

Author : ElaineDex

Chapter : 5 of ?

Rating : M

Pairings : Bucky/OC

Warnings : Some Sexual Content, Romance, Angst, Maybe Some Strong Language.

Spoilers and A/N: Possible references to The Winter Soldier, Civil War, Black Panther (I have not seen Black Panther, nor do I claim to be an expert on The Avengers so please forgive any discrepancies. I am working off of things I have read and movies and trailers that I have seen. Thank you.

Disclaimer : I do not own anything to do with the Marvel franchise. This plot and any O/C's are mine.

Summary : (AU) Can a memory from Bucky's time as The Winter Soldier save him from having to live that kind of life again or will the darkness consume him and lead him to kill everyone he now holds dear?

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The safe house was not what Molly had been expecting.

She sat up from where she had been dozing against Sam's shoulder as Steve drove down a dirt track that opened up to reveal a large, but modest looking farmhouse.

"This your place?" Bucky asked as Steve parked the car inside a nearby barn.

"I own it, but I don't live here…not yet anyways…" Steve smiled ruefully. "One day soon hopefully. You'll be safe here…no-one else knows about it."

Bucky nodded, but didn't answer. No-one had spoken much in the three hour journey to the house and though it was obvious that there would have to be some kind of discussion soon it was as though everyone had been quite happy to remain in their own heads.

They got out of the car and Sam began lifting things from the trunk; supplies and fresh clothes for himself, Steve and Bucky and Molly noticed that they had brought her hold-all from her house; the one she had packed when she'd been planning on fleeing.

"Thanks," she said, taking the bag from Sam only to have it taken from her by Bucky, who avoided her eyes when she looked at him and Sam and Steve exchanged a look before Steve led the way to the house and let them in.

They all hovered in the hallway until Steve said, "Molly, why don't you go choose a room and freshen up first…there's only one bathroom so Ladies' first…"

Molly glanced at Sam and Bucky who made no objections and so she nodded and taking her bag from Bucky said, "Thank you…" before heading for the stairs.

Once she was gone, Steve moved toward the kitchen with the supplies he carried, Sam and Bucky following and as they placed things down on the counters and table, Steve turned to Bucky.

"Sam and I will be leaving first light. It's best if we disappear for a while to come up with a plan and it will look better if there's just a couple living here…new tenants if anyone should come around…."

"You think its a good idea leaving him alone with the Doc?" Sam asked and Bucky glared at him.

"What the hell do you think I'm going to do to her?" he asked, tensing up and Steve stepped in between them.

"He doesn't think you're going to do anything…do you?" and he looked at Sam pointedly, who grumbled and began to rummage in a bag of groceries. Steve sighed and turned to Bucky who said, "I want to try and get back to that place…where they took me from…" the name escaped him as he tried to make sense of his still forming and jumbled memories.

"Wakanda…" Steve supplied and when Bucky nodded he added, "Shuri wants you to go back there too…but we need to formulate a plan to get you there safely and without detection and that means us laying low for a little while."

"They'll never stop looking for me…" Bucky said and Steve lay a hand on his friend's shoulder.

"I know, but before we face them again, we need to get your mind healed so that when we do they can't control you any more."

Bucky pulled out a kitchen chair and sank wearily onto it, closing his eyes. He was so tired of running and fighting and hurting.

As Steve and his friend Sam moved around the kitchen, putting things into cupboards and making small talk, Bucky let his mind wander, trying to process things, trying to bring himself out of fight or flight mode. He'd forgotten what it felt like to feel normal, to relax…

Suddenly he stood, the chair he'd been sat upon scraping on the wooden flooring and as Steve and Sam turned to look at him he said, "Knock me out…"

"What?" Steve asked, frowning as a slow grin spread across Sam's face.

"Knock me out," Bucky repeated. "I need to disengage…I need to lose the last mission command…" He sighed frustratedly when Steve looked hesitant and turning to Sam said, "You do it…make it good, I want to be out for a while."

Sam's grin widened, but as he went to step forward Steve placed a hand on his arm and stopped him, looking at Bucky as he said, "Are you sure about this?"

"Normally I'd be put under or they'd use that damn machine on me again and then afterwards my mind would feel clearer…well, empty…it was the same when I crashed the helicopter and you pulled me from the water…" Bucky replied and reluctantly Steve nodded, thinking that maybe it wouldn't be a bad thing for his friend to get some rest…in whatever form it came.

Stepping aside, he turned his back to Sam and Bucky, wincing a moment later as he heard a fist connecting with Bucky's jaw and the sound of his body landing with a thud as it hit the kitchen floor.

"We should get him upstairs…" Steve said, turning to see Sam rubbing his knuckles.

"That guy has a damn hard head!" his friend complained as they grabbed Bucky's arms and lifted him between them.

"You have no idea," Steve replied fondly.

Once upstairs, they lay Bucky down on one of the beds and made him comfortable, Steve removing his friends' boots and leaving them by the door which they closed on the way out. As they headed for the stairs, Molly emerged from the bathroom and asked, "What's going on?"

"Oh…Bucky's just having a rest…" Sam said, rubbing his knuckles again and Molly frowned and looked to Steve who could see the concern in her eyes and said, "It's alright…he'll be alright…"

Molly nodded and asked quietly, "What's going to happen?"

Steve glanced at Sam who took his cue to leave and headed downstairs, leaving the two of them alone on the landing.

"I need you and Bucky to stay here for as long as it takes Sam and I to come up with a way to get you out of here. It's not safe for you anywhere else right now and we all just need to stay off the radar…"

"You're not staying here too?" Molly asked and Steve shook his head.

"It's best if it's just the two of you. It's less suspicious that way if anyone comes calling. No-one should; the closest neighbours are a couple of miles away, but just in case…you're the new tenants, okay?"

Molly folded her arms and tried to smile.

"Sounds perfect."

Steve reached out and rested a hand on her shoulder.

"Thank you for doing this…for helping Bucky. He means a lot to me and I'll do whatever I can to make sure you're safe."

Molly wanted to say that Bucky meant a lot to her too, but somehow it seemed a ridiculous statement given that most of the time she'd spent with him had been to watch him suffer and endure horrors that she never wanted to speak of. Yes she'd helped him, had tried to lessen his pain, but she wished she had been able to do more and so she gave Steve another wobbly smile and thanked him.

"You hungry?" he asked then and when she nodded, he went on, "Come on, let's rustle up something to eat…"

As they headed toward the stairs, Molly glanced at the door of the room Bucky was 'resting' in and took a breath, a kind of nervous tension settling in her stomach at the thought of being alone with him there on the farm.

Later that night, after they'd eaten and cleared everything away, Steve showed Molly where he'd hidden a few things for them to protect themselves with should it become necessary and she shivered as he asked her to show Bucky in the morning.

"You won't be here?" she asked and he shook his head.

"Sam and I will be gone first light…"

And so they were and as Steve drove slowly away from the house, Sam said, "You sure about this?"

Steve nodded but said nothing and Sam knew not to push further.

OoOoOoO

Bucky had awoken sometime in the early hours, finding himself bootless and in a bed, his jaw aching from bird man's punch. Remembering where he was had been surprisingly easy and after lying for a good twenty minutes listening for any movement and hearing none, he had sat up, removed his tight fitting leather jacket and lay back on the bed. Sleep had been another thing that had come as a surprise and when he awoke again he knew it was probably late morning by the way the sun was streaming brightly through a gap in the curtains. He hauled himself from the bed and saw that some piles of fresh clothes had been laid out on a nearby chair and he glanced down at the T-shirt and black cargo pants he was currently wearing. He felt grubby and his eyes felt gritty and making his way into the bathroom he saw fresh towels and the temptation to take a shower became too much and stripping off his clothes he flicked on the water and stepped into the bath, yanking the curtain across with his metal arm with such force that he almost tore the thing down and he shook his head at the thought of not knowing his own strength.

It had been so long since he'd been in any kind of domestic situation that he'd forgotten how fragile things were. He was so used to living in a world were only brute force and violence was necessary that he knew it would take a lot for him to adjust…if he even could because even in Wakanda everything in Shuri's lab had been so clinical and he'd only had time to clean up and have a quick talk with Steve before he'd chosen to be put back into cryogenic sleep.

He got on with showering, reaching for a bottle that looked like it might belong to Steve…some shower gel stuff…and that's when he saw the more decidedly feminine looking products that were on the shelf and he felt his chest tighten as he thought about Molly and what she'd done for him…and the danger she was now in because of him.

He closed his eyes and let the water cascade down over his head, the stream washing away the soap, but not his worries. Maybe it would have been better if he'd never made it out…

But out he was…and he deserved a chance to be free…didn't he?

Reaching out he snapped off the water and more gently this time, moved the curtain aside and snagged a towel from the rail, drying himself before wrapping it low on his hips.

OoO

Molly had been up for hours. She'd assumed Bucky was still asleep or avoiding her and so she'd given him his space, inexplicably nervous to face him. She'd pottered about the house, tidying things that didn't need to be tidied and checked over and over that the front and back doors were secure before eventually deciding to go and get a book from her hold-all. She had just reached the top of the stairs and was crossing the landing when the bathroom door opened and her mouth went dry as she took in the sight of Bucky, a bath towel slung low on his hips, water droplets glistening on his chest and it took her a moment too long to meet his eyes as she couldn't stop herself from staring at him, her own body rapidly feeling like it might internally combust at any second.

The heat spread to her face and as she felt her cheeks burn, she took a step back, her bare foot tangling in her own pyjama leg and she stumbled a little, becoming precariously close to the rail that overlooked the stairwell.

Bucky wasn't sure what to make of the way Molly was staring at him. He knew the scarred, puckered skin around the join of his metal arm wasn't pretty,but she'd seen that before, many times and something told him that the way her skin was turning pink meant that she was staring for an entirely different reason. He was about to ask if she was alright when she took a step back and tripped over the material of her over-long pyjamas and as she stumbled he instinctively moved and reached for her, wrapping his own hand around her arm to stop her going anywhere.

"M-morning…" she stammered, her nerves going haywire as she tried to ignore how good he smelled.

"Hey…" Bucky replied quietly as he tried not to notice how soft her hair looked and for a moment he wondered how it would feel between his fingers.

Willing herself to stop acting like a teenager who was finally talking with her first crush, Molly took a breath and regaining some of her equilibrium asked, "Did you sleep well? Do you feel okay?" She noticed the shadow of a bruise forming on his jaw, only just visible through his stubble and she itched to reach out and touch him.

"I'm fine…" Bucky replied, releasing her arm now that she seemed to have regained her footing, "…and I slept real good…"

Molly noted that he sounded surprised at the fact and that the faintest of smiles hovered at the corners of his mouth. It was good to see him almost smile and she decided there and then that she would like to see him really smile and more often too and that she would try her hardest to make it happen.

Forcing herself to keep her eyes above his collar bones she said, "You must be hungry…fancy some eggs?"

"You don't have to…." Bucky began, but she cut him off.

"I want to. Scrambled or fried?" she asked, moving to the top of the stairs and when she looked back to Bucky she was given her first taste of his smile as he replied, "Scrambled."

End of Chapter 5