"Scream. Scream out loud, or the woman is next… and you'll get to watch every minute, freak…"

Don woke with a scream dying in his throat, his body arching as far as it could with his rigid shell. Sweat dripped from his olive-green skin, dripping between the scutes of his plastron and soaking into the sheet wrapped around him. His breath was coming in harsh, panicked gasps that hurt his chest, which slowly dissolved into pained whimpers.

As always, he remained entangled in the dream even after he woke — April's tearful face, and Racer's voice… always his voice, gloating over Don's pain and whispering his intent to rape April. And even though he was awake now, he could still feel that hot, rough, tearing pain in the core of his body, echoing through his bones and tissues. The helplessness. The humiliation.

Don pressed his trembling hands to his face, and stifled a groan. He couldn't take this anymore — it had been more than six weeks since Racer had died, but he was still torturing Don every night. And even though he had healed physically from the assault, he still felt… dirty. Unclean. Just the memory of that monster thrusting inside him…

He shuddered, feeling nausea rising in his throat. Slowly he rose from his bed, sliding down the ladder to the floor. He wrapped his arms around his abdomen as he limped out into the open expanse of the lair.

Almost in a daze, he made his way to the bathroom. It was a palatial place for a sewer dwelling, with high stone walls and ceiling, a shoji door for privacy, a washer and dryer, a circular sink that could be used at least four occupants, and an elevated shower surrounded by a curtain. He glanced around as he approached it, but there was nobody in sight. Everyone was asleep.

The hot water poured over his head like a waterfall, streaming over his shaking body and pooling around his feet. It was a good thing he had installed a high-pressure showerhead, he thought. Every particle of sweat and dirt on his body was being swept away by the water, vanishing into the long-forgotten pipes of their home's ancient plumbing.

He squatted down and hunched forward, the blast of hot water pouring over his shoulders and pattering on his shell. He steadied himself by gripping the shower curtain with one hand, while the other gripped a long scrubbing brush and dipped down between his legs. He gritted his teeth as he began scrubbing, feeling the scrapes and twinges of the bristles on newly-healed flesh that was still delicate.

But he didn't care. He couldn't stand it anymore. He needed to be clean.

He shut his eyes, trying to imagine the water washing away every filthy trace of Racer from his body, inside and out. But it didn't work — that tainted, disgusting feeling was still there in his cloaca and between his thighs, where the human had touched him. It was like a toxin that had soaked into his body. He grimaced and scrubbed harder than ever.

He didn't care if it took hours. Or days. He had to get rid of that feeling.

"Donnie?" a voice called. Raph's voice.

His eyes flew open. Dark shadows appeared outside the shower, and the curtain was thrown aside with a rattle of rings. Water cascaded down onto the floor. And suddenly strong arms were thrown around him, pulling him off his feet and dragging him up against something warm and solid, something with muscled flesh pressed up against his own. Panic swelled up inside him, wild and desperate, and he began straining and pulling against the arms. But this time, they didn't let go.

And suddenly Mikey was there too, prying the brush out of his clenched hand. "Come on, Don, be a good Turtle and let go," he said.

"Don?" Leo said, looming above him. His shadowed face was full of concern as he switched off the water.

"Shell, he's bleedin' again," Raph said grimly in his ear. "Donnie, what were you doin'?"

Don pressed his eyes shut. "I — I needed to get clean," he said faintly.

"Shell," Raph said again, putting all his grim anger into that one word. His cheek was resting against Don's, his chin pressed against Don's shoulder.

Don shut his eyes and shuddered, struggling against the swell of blind panic of being held down and restrained. Raphael held him even tighter, one of his strong arms stretching across Don's chest. After a few more minutes of struggling, Don finally went limp, collapsing back against Raph's shoulder with a groan. He looked up hopelessly at Leo and Mikey as they clustered around him, encircling him in his brothers' presence. He knew that they meant well, but he felt trapped — panicked —

"Please — let me go, Raph," Don said hoarsely, trying to pull away.

"Not until you stop this," Raph said.

"Let him go, Raph," Leo's voice said commandingly.

Don felt the arms slowly loosening around him, though Raph remained behind him, his knees pressed against the bottom edge of Don's shell. The fear swamping his mind seemed to break suddenly like a fever, leaving Don shaking and breathing hard. He was still surrounded by his brothers on every side, like a small encircling wall of shell and green flesh.

Leo reached out and put a hand on Don's shell, his eyes overflowing with worry. "Don," he said softly. "It's okay. Just calm down."

Don shook his head. But he felt unexpectedly calmer now that he had been let go, from the proximity of his brothers. He knew he ought to be more frantic at being hemmed in by them, but instead he felt… safer. He was suddenly filled with a bone-deep tiredness, and a desire to slump against them and just let sleep take him. Dreamless sleep.

"Don," Leo said gently, taking one of Don's wet hands between his own. "We want to help you. Please, don't shut us out."

Don's eyes slowly moved up to Leo's. Almost without thinking, he murmured, "He raped me."

He felt Raph tense behind him, and his brother drew in a sharp outraged breath at those three little words. But there was no surprise in Mikey or Leo's faces, just grim acceptance of what he had said. Somehow saying it out loud made it seem more… more real.

"He raped me," he repeated, clutching at Leo's hand. "They were going to rape April, but I stopped them, and Racer did it to me instead. They held me there, and I — I couldn't move." He took a long, shaky breath, and felt Raph gripping his shell, holding him upright with fingers like iron bands. "I — I tried to separate myself from the pain, from what was happening to me, but I — I couldn't."

"Don," Leo said quietly. "I'm so sorry…"

"I can still feel him," Don said brokenly, "inside me…"

"He can't hurt you no more," Raph said fiercely. "He's dead. I saw him die."

"He wanted to hear me scream," Don continued softly, almost as if Raph hadn't spoken. "I wouldn't give him the satisfaction, so — he kept making it more and more painful, harder and harder, trying to break me. I — I didn't break then." He swallowed hard, hunching over himself. "The — the second time it happened, I started becoming — aroused by it. I didn't want to be, but I couldn't stop." His face twisted. "I couldn't control my body, for the first time in my entire life. I was helpless."

"He deserved to die," Raph said fiercely, his gravelly voice becoming a growl. He let go of Don's arms, crouching behind his shell and keeping his hands clamped on Don's shoulders. "And you ain't helpless. You're a ninja Turtle."

"There was more," Don whispered. He felt exhausted and spent from the revelations of what had happened to him, like someone who had been vomiting uncontrollably for a long time. But he couldn't stop — the words had been spilling out of him like water from a faucet. He knelt on the wet shower floor, huddling over and clutching at his own knees, with Raph's strong hands still clutching at his shoulders.

"There's more?" Mikey said incredulously. "What else could they do?"

Leo leaned down and grasped Don's hands tightly, pulling him back upright. He looked strong and steady to Don's eyes — the exact opposite of how he felt. His blue-masked brother was like a solid stone pillar, keeping him standing when he would otherwise have fallen.

"They made me… they forced… I had… intercourse with April," Don said hesitantly.

"They did what?" Raph said, his voice rising in anger.

Don could see the expressions of shock on Mikey and Leo's faces, and feel Raph shaking with rage behind him. He closed his eyes, slumping between Raph and Leo as he murmured, "Racer said something to her — I didn't hear what — and sent her back to me. She was so afraid — I could see it in her eyes. Then she — she started to — she…" He shook slightly, his mind suddenly flooded by the memory of her above him, holding him, her green eyes anguished, of being buried deep inside her… "I still could barely move, so she — she had to do what she could…"

"That rotten sonuva—" Raph snarled.

"Don't blame April, Raph," Don said desperately, turning his head towards his angry brother. "She — she didn't want it. They forced her to. They threatened her somehow — and they — they used me against her — to punish her —" His words were falling from him in broken fragments, and he could feel himself trembling uncontrollably in his brothers' grasps.

"They used you against each other," Leo said gently, putting an arm across Don's shoulders and hugging him tightly. "Both of you were raped, Don."

"That's sick," Mikey said incredulously. "Really sick."

Don slumped forward against Leo's shoulder, his eyes drifting shut in his exhaustion. "I keep reliving it every night — and when I wake up, I feel like it happened all over again. I can still feel all the pain — the fear — I can still hear him taunting me, feel him inside me —"

"It's all over, Don," Leo said quietly,

"I just — wanted to stop feeling filthy," Don murmured, gesturing at the brush. "It makes my skin crawl, feeling like he's still there — and I can't clean him off…"

Raph's arms closed around him again, slowly lifting him from the wet stone floor and back to his feet. Don expected a wave of panic to swell inside him again at the unexpected touch… but there was nothing. Nothing but the painfully deep tiredness seeping into every muscle, bone and vein in his body, as if he had expelled something poisonous that left him empty and spent. He slumped forward, and felt Leo putting his arms around him, holding him upright. Something warm and fluffy passed over his arms and shoulders before moving down his legs, and he became aware that Mikey was toweling his wet body.

"We're going to get you through this, Don," Leo said, putting his arm around Don's shoulders and guiding him across the wet floor, where puddles of water lay like tiny glimmering lakes. "You're going to be okay."

"I felt — so weak when it happened," Don said, clinging to his brother. "Like such a failure — "

"Don't you say that," Raph said fiercely, coming around Don's other side, with Mikey behind him.

"Yeah, it could've happened to any one of us," Mikey chimed in. "Even Raph." He ducked as Raph's arm swung around to smack him in the head.

"You're not weak, Don," Leo said gently, leaning his head down beside Don's. "You're the same strong Turtle I've known all my life — stronger than you know. And it's not weak to need some help. All of us — we'll help you until you don't need it anymore. Okay?"

Don closed his eyes, letting his brothers guide him up the ladder that led from one level to the next. Their hands felt wonderfully familiar and strong, pulling and pushing him until he was back in his bedroom. Raph took Leo's place then, guiding Don to the ladder that led to his bed. He climbed up it sleepily, with Raph remaining below him, watchfully making sure that he didn't need any help.

"Do you think you can sleep?" Leo said softly.

"Yes," Don said. He felt as though his brothers had lanced a terrible infection, letting all the poison drip out of him.

A thought occurred to him. "I left a mess in the bathroom…"

"Don't worry about it," Raph said. "Mikey'll mop it up."

"Hey!" Mikey squawked.

"There's a mop next to the washin' machine," Raph said with a grin. "I can't do it, 'cause I'm stayin' with Donnie tonight."

Leo ushered the grumbling Mikey out, promising to help him with the mopping. He paused only briefly to look back at the figure climbing into the loft bed. As Don slipped back under his sheets, Raph sprawled out on the futon couch below him, his arms crooked behind his head and his legs curled up. "I'll be here if you need anythin'," he said, suddenly serious. "You just yell if you need me, okay? And if you start havin' a nightmare, I'll stop it."

"Okay," Don said drowsily, settling back against his pillow.

For the first time in weeks, he didn't feel dread at the thought of falling asleep. He hadn't recovered from the rape, but for the first time he felt as though it might happen — as though the pain of what he had experienced could be driven away. Someday.