A/N: I can't lie... I laughed my butt off at Sheldon and Amy in "The Launch Acceleration." But still...this is clearly what was really going on. I cannot possibly be the only one that thinks so.

The Reprogramming Complication (from "The Launch Acceleration")

"Heya, Moonpie," Penny greets him as she saunters up to the mailbox next to his. He looks up from the copy of Scientific American that he had been staring at blankly.

"Hello, Penny," he answers morosely, without any of the spark she's used to, without even glowering at her for calling him 'Moonpie.'

"What's wrong, sweetie?"

He sighs in response, and she pulls out her mail and recloses her box before he begins to speak, turning to walk up the stairs with her.

"It's Amy."

"I thought things were going great with Amy? Did you not like the Nurse Chapel uniform?"

"I...what?"

"The Nurse Chapel uniform. I had to talk her into it, even though I couldn't get her to put on the blonde wig and I know how much you care about accuracy in costumes..." She realizes then that he has paused on the landing several steps behind her. "What's wrong?"

"You have been assisting Amy Farah Fowler in her attempts to torture me?"

"Torture you? I thought I was helping." She feels blood rush to her face and her stomach starts to churn, that sick feeling that comes with the worry of having betrayed a friend.

"Helping! You call that helping! Do you know what she made me for dinner last week?"

"Spaghetti with hot dogs, right? I told her which sauce to buy. I thought you would like it..."

"You..."

He seems literally at a loss for words and she walks back down two steps, joining him on the landing between the second and third floors. She almost reaches out, about to touch his shoulder, but clenches her fingers into a fist instead.

"Sheldon, I'm sorry if I did something to upset you. Amy told me that she wanted to do nice things for you, and I was just helping her come up with your favorite things. I didn't mean to do anything that would bother you."

"How could you not have known that it would upset me! Amy is trying to make me love her, Penny! I do not want to love her. I do not want to love anyone."

"You love your Meemaw, don't you?"

"Of course I love my Meemaw. That is beside the point. I do not wish to love anyone else."

"I'm just saying, maybe it wouldn't be so bad to love someone else. Loving someone is nice."

"Nice." He rolls his eyes as he repeats the word derisively.

"It is nice. It's having someone around who wants to make you happy, and it's being happy to do things for someone else. It should make you feel good."

"Well, all I feel is manipulated by Amy and guilty that I have no drive to return any of the favors that she has bestowed on me."

"Just give it a little time, Sheldon," Penny replies. "Amy is trying her best, and..." He cuts her off.

"No, apparently you are trying your best and Amy is simply...following orders." He glares at her. "I suppose you told her about making me Amtrack conductor for the day as well?"

"I was going to do that for your birthday, but..."

"You...what?"

"For your birthday present. In two weeks? I know you don't like presents, and I thought maybe doing something would go over better. But Amy wanted to do something special for you, so I told her about it."

"I see," he replies, looking a little lost and worried.

"Don't worry, though. I already got you another gift that I think you'll really like. Better than the Star Trek transporter, I think. And you aren't obligated to buy me something in return, either."

She waits for him to give her his exasperated sigh, but it doesn't come. He just stands there, looking at her.

"Come on, Sheldon," she sighs, placing a hand on his back and pushing him until he starts to walk up the stairs.

"Penny," he says her name, finally, as they get to the fourth floor, but she can't read the tone. "Are you coming over for dinner?"

"Oh, I don't think so, sweetie. I'm a little short on cash until I get paid next week, and I feel awkward asking Leonard to buy me things when we're not..."

"Engaging in coitus?"

"Yeah. That," she answers, unamused.

"Just because he proposed to you? I've been led to believe that women find a willingness to commit to be a positive quality in a man."

"Well, not me. It was just...weird."

"Interesting," he replies.

"I'm so glad you find my sex life interesting, Sheldon," she sighs.

"Sarcasm?"

She just grins at him, shaking her head as she turns towards her door.

"If you'd like to come over, there will be extra dumplings at pad thai for you. You don't need to pay."

She looks over at him, reads something earnest in his eyes, and smiles.

"Thanks, Moonpie. I'll be over in an hour."

"Only my Meemaw calls me Moonpie, Penny," he answers, narrowing his eyes at her.

She smiles and walks into her apartment.