Chapter 25: It hurts
It had been a nearing a week without any sign of Hawke. Meredith was telling Aveline that at any cost to find Hawke. If even the Champion of Kirkwall was in danger then what about the common citizen? There was uproar in the streets calling for more protection as word spread through whispers that Hawke had been killed as she was walking to the Hanged Man. The stories seemed to exaggerate farther away from the truth as time went on. Some even went so far to say that is was a conspiracy by Meredith to get her only competition out of the way.
Fenris didn't care about any of this. None of her friends did. Every day they were meeting at the Hanged Man to try and come up with ways to find her. Every night they were walking the docks to try and catch Danarius as he left. Nothing seemed to work though, maybe she was dead, Meredith seemed to think so, so why shouldn't they? Their hope seemed to diminish with the days but they weren't going to stop looking for Hawke. She wouldn't stop looking for them, and even if they did stop Fenris would never stop looking for her. He wasn't going to let Danarius have her. He didn't deserve this righteous, beautiful, strong woman.
They all sat around by the docks for the third night in the row. Varric had finally gotten a tip that some magister was making a move to go back to Tevinter in the night. Danarius must have been feeling cocky after getting the Champion of Kirkwall, because he made no secret to hide it. Maybe Danarius didn't realize the outcry to reclaim Hawke. Either way they were going to have a fight on their hands, whether Hawke was alive or dead was yet to be seen. Fenris doubted Danarius would kill her, he would want to break her more than anything else. That would be what most would get Danarius off, to break the Champion of Kirkwall.
She couldn't delay any longer without it looking like she was biding her time, and Danarius was growing impatient in the current atmosphere. Apparently she wasn't the only one that disliked the cave. She was on edge as she was starting to lose her recollection of certain events. She couldn't tell if it was the pain that was slowing eating away at her, or if it was the lack of sleep. She looked like a ghoul with the bags under her eyes. Danarius acted oblivious in the least, whether he truly was she couldn't tell, but Variana had been hovering around her too much lately as they made their way into Kirkwall. She tried not to look at anything, or keep her eyes lingering on anything too long. She didn't want to seem nostalgic that this might be her last time walking these streets.
So many ways to escape had crossed her mind as she had waited to leave that cave. She thought about trying to run as soon as they left the cave and disappearing into the Wounded Coast, but that seemed far too dangerous in her current state. She had thought about jumping overboard when the boat left port. She had thought of running at the first opportunity, and seeing as that was the best option she took it. She was walking slightly behind Danarius and tried to make a break for it. She didn't get far before her body froze up. She couldn't move. It was like she had her mind but she couldn't connect it to her body, she was disconnected. She could hear Danarius' laughter though she couldn't move to look at him. It was eerie as he snapped his fingers and she turned towards him. He was holding a vial of blood, her blood in her hand.
"I thought you would try to flutter away, little bird. I wasn't sure if it was because of memories, or because you don't want to follow me to Tevinter… but I told you I have means to make you obey." He beckoned and she came back to him. "Now… we have to catch a ship." She hated blood magic. She truly hated it with her whole being. He had taken away her body from her, what else could he do?
When they reached the stairs leading to the docks he stopped the party of his hired goons, his pet elf and her, his zombie pet. She could see her friends by the boat they were supposed to board. Aveline was talking to a few guards that she had with her, Varric was telling a tale to Merrill to pass the time, and Anders and Fenris were sitting silently on crates. Fenris seemed to feel her eyes on him, and he looked up to meet her gaze. His expression seemed shocked more than anthing before it turned to anger as he saw Danarius standing next to her. She saw him turn his head to tell the others they had company. She involuntarily wrapped her arm around the crook of Danarius' as they walked down the stairs. She wondered what he would try to pull off as his guards stood back.
All her friends stood in defensive stances by the time they had gotten down to the dock. None of them had their weapons trained on her, but Danarius could make one wrong step and Bianca would say hi in an instant. Fenris seemed to be torn as he wished to pay all his attention to Danarius but his eyes kept brushing over her figure. It was almost amusing to see his anger turn to guilt as he looked at her, and then back to anger as he looked at Danarius.
"Is there a problem, Guard Captain?" Danarius was ignoring the rest of them, especially Fenris. He was addressing the only one he felt even relative to his position in the world.
"You have our friend there, we would like her back." Aveline was gritting her teeth as she said the words and Danarius just laughed at her. It was never smart to laugh at Aveline, she recalled. She had been slapped once when she had laughed at something Aveline did… but that scenario escaped her, she just remembered the overall feeling of Aveline's laugh triggering something.
"She is welcome to go back with you if she wishes. I don't think she does though."
Fenris seemed ready to lunge, he stepped forward almost growling out his words. "You are a liar, Danarius and I will kill you if you hurt one hair on her."
Danarius was chuckling. "Ah, my little wolf is quite angry I see.. but you misdirect your anger. I have done nothing to you that you did not want, the same can be said for my little bird here. Tell them, dove… they will not believe me."
"Hawke is this true?" Aveline was searching for a no, but she couldn't give her that. Her head turned towards Danarius as he swept her hood off of her head. She heard a gasp from Merrill, she guessed the huge bruise was still on her face. It didn't hurt anymore, but it must not have faded all the way. She felt exposed before everyone's eyes as she could feel him pulling her strings to make the puppet talk. All of his words spilled from her mouth in such a sincere succession she herself would have been fooled if she was not witnessing it from inside herself.
"It's true…I want to go with him to Tevinter… He saved my life from Carta… and I love him." He even moved her in to kiss him. She wished she could have retched at the event. He was smirking, looking into her eyes as her body pulled away. He could feel her hatred and it was feeding him, he was lapping it up like a house cat did warm milk.
"Then why didn't you just tell us? Why make us search for you?" She could hear the hurt in Varric's voice as her confidant was left out of this secret. "The bartender said you had been dragged out it doesn't make sense.."
"I was afraid you would judge my love. I was afraid Fenris would hurt him." He didn't allow her to move her gaze from him. He was making her look adoringly at him like some love struck sixteen year old. "… and it's true.. I was dragged out by the Carta… Variana wasn't even there when I went. They thought they would finally kill me so they had to dispatch the witnesses."
"Hawke.." One word meant so much, the pleading in Aveline's voice. "We can't let you go… if you leave it will cause chaos in the city."
She waited as she heard him formulating what to say in her mind. Her made her turn to look at Aveline , untwining herself from Danarius' arm she stood there in a slight fighting stance. "You can't stop me… and I don't care about Kirkwall… I want to start my new life." She reached out her good arm, the one he hadn't marred, towards her master. It wasn't her dominant hand but it would have to do. She saw Fenris eye this carefully, he had never seen her pick something up with her left hand rather than her right hand. Danarius complied and handed her one of her blades which she gripped as if she was herself.
They all seemed shocked by her brazen aggression towards them. They all seemed to step down, confused expect for Fenris and Merrill. Merrill was looking at her with some odd expression, was she concentrating?
"That isn't Hawke. He's using blood magic to control her." Of course her favorite blood mage would know what was going on. She was slightly upset that it had taken her this long however, she might have avoided that kiss.
Danarius was clapping next to her. "It took you long enough, but yes, she is my puppet. The thing is that you either let us pass or she fights you." She could see Fenris thinking. This was as close to his master as he would ever be, maybe he was planning to attack him… to go through Hawke with his great sword to finally get this man off his back. She didn't put it past him, Fenris hated her now. He hated her since he left, and now he only longed for her physically. He hated her ideals and what she stood for, so now he would cut her down.
He made a rush for it while everyone was still debating their options, and in a second her body was in front of Danarius. Her blade parrying his blade to push him back, to push him away from Danarius as she moved to take up a defensive stance in front of Danarius again. Danarius was laughing, Variana seemed bolted to where she stood and Danarius' guards rushed forward to take her friends out; one guard for each of her companions. She wondered if Danarius had planned it out this way from the start, he probably had.
She felt his control weaken as he summoned shades to the fight. She didn't like that the fights odds were getting less even as time went on. She saw Merrill knock Variana down as Varric shot a blot through one of their guards. She wasn't concentrating on her fight and Danarius wasn't pulling her strings as hard, it only took one opening and his blade made contact with her lyrium laced arm as she adjusted at the last second to defend herself. She felt herself lose control for a second, black out completely as the blade ripped across her skin. She saw the shock in his face as she stumbled back. He had torn right through her gauntlet, the blood that ran down was colored blue from the lyrium. She couldn't understand the look in his face as recognition dawned across him.
"Finish him, Hawke. We have things to do."All the blood loss and the lack of sleep was making it hard for her to focus her mind. If her body wasn't being controlled she felt like she would collapse into a pile of burning flesh. She felt on fire as the lyrium burned against her skin. She guessed from the blue running down her arm that it hadn't exactly hardened as much as it should have. She bit her lower lip as she backed up more, Danarius took steps back with her as he tightened his grip on her to make her stop running. His shades were fighting against her friends but they seemed to be falling, Variana wasn't getting up. She was his last hope for survival.
Fenris didn't want to fight her, he kept trying to get around her but she was also a step ahead of him in that. She always knew how Fenris fought and how Fenris thought about fighting. It was her job as an assassin to know her targets, and she had found it fun to memorize how her friends fought. She wished she hadn't know as she parried all his attacks, as she pushed him back as she went on the offensive. She almost had her knife into him but her body didn't move. Anders had shot an ice blast at her and her legs were frozen. She tried to pull free but she couldn't move. She heard Danarius panicking in her head, murmurings as he withdrew from her to fight back Merrill.
Anders' ice blast never lasted long; it only took a few seconds for it to melt as Danarius beat them back with fireballs. She looked at Fenris before turning away from him quickly, running behind Danarius like she shadow she was as he focused completely on keeping the others back. She saw him hit Merrill's mana shield directly as she stood behind him. She walked forward slowly, enjoying every step as her right arm started to glow a familiar blue. She saw them all watching as she phased her arm through Danarius' chest. She heard a gurgling sound as he tried to inhale.
"Fuck Tevinter." She squeezed down on his heart to phase her hand out of his body again. He collapsed hard onto the ground as she stepped back. She couldn't tell where her blood began and Danarius' ended. The lyrium was burning through her body it felt like, but in all related it had sealed itself over her wound that Fenris had dealt her. She could feel it shifting among her blood and she wanted to cry at it all. She wanted to sleep but she was afraid to sleep, she was afraid that she would wake up and forget everything like Danarius had said. She turned and started to walk away, she heard them shouting her name but it felt so distant.