Chapter 25

The moon sets, and the sun rises. Warmth replaces cold. Light takes the place of dark. But darkness has a way of coming back into my life, much like a persistent weed.

We fly away from Burgess together, happy and solemn at the same time. Jack feels a sort of peace, and I do too, after visiting his true home. Of course, we're both quiet in the dawn's light as we drift on the breeze, no particular destination in mind. The visit put a new perspective on things. I sometimes catch Jack looking at me with an emotion I haven't seen before in his eyes. I don't say anything though, it'll probably pass on its own, whatever it is. My mind drifts to the cave where I fell into the water, back in Kentucky, and the incident with Jack.

I replay everything in my mind as we travel in the sky, piecing events together and trying to reach a conclusion. I break down everything into facts.

I blacked out after drowning. Later on, I became conscious, but showed no physical signs of this to Jack. He assumed I was unconscious the whole time. He kissed me, also assuming that I wouldn't experience anything. Did it mean anything? Does it mean anything? Should it?

I come back to reality when I realize I've drifted away from Jack while flying. How ironic. I steer back over to him and offer a sheepish grin as an explanation. He smiles generously, but can see that I have a lot on my mind. I wish things could be simpler between us, but I'm such a complicated person. Shyness doesn't help, and I don't want to admit feelings for someone until I know that they love me too.

Love. Feelings. I think there might be something there, and I just want to put it off as nothing. Can I even be sure that he loves me, or is he just a concerned friend? I feel like huffing and sighing and crossing my arms, but I don't. I can figure this whole 'love' thing out logically.

First of all, I need to know, does Jack love me? He's always cared about me, and seems to like me well enough. He shows off in front of Bunny to me, and has taught me a lot about being what I am now. There was that time he took me to the Mississippi River, too. And dancing at the fair. But those are things a friend would do.

And then there's last night and the kiss. Friends, ordinary friends, don't do that. Definitely.

At this point, it seems like a 50/50 chance that he has serious feelings for me. I need more time to figure this out though. I decide to put it at the back of my mind when he starts speaking.

"So, what's on your mind?"

The entire subject comes back to me, and I feel the urge to spit it out.

"I, uh, I'm just thinking. About Pitch."

"Oh. You're not nervous about fighting him, are you?"

"No, not really. Well, kinda. I feel like when I do fight him, I'll be ready. Thanks to you... And everyone else of course."

He looks content with my answer for a couple seconds, but seems unconvinced that this has been eating up my mind for the past hour or so.

"Are you sure nothing's up?"

I bite my lower lip and lower my eyes to the earth below. What to say...

"Well... Something is up, to be honest. I just don't know how to explain it yet. Or if I can."

He raises his eyebrows slightly at my answer. I don't blame him.

"Does that make sense? I guess I'm just trying to sort out everything that's happened since I became a Guardian."

He nods in understanding.

"Ok."

He puts his hand on my shoulder, a comforting gesture, and lets it drop off. No other questions come forward, and I leave my thoughts to battle it out among themselves.

Clouds pass in front of us, and we are momentarily shaded from the sun. The temperature drops, and I glance at Jack. He smiles back at me, and dives down towards earth. I follow without hesitation, staying to his left. The wind pushes my hair up and behind me as we become perpendicular to the ground. Jack spreads his arms out wide to slow himself down, staff in hand.

"This place needs a snow day."

He shoots straight ahead through the sky, and I see a town in the distance. A line of shade rushes forward in front of me following Jack. I look back and see a winter storm forming. The clouds churn and turn dark gray, racing along with their guardian to the town. The air becomes chilly, biting at my skin. I form a white fur coat, and Jack notices. He sends a flurry of snow into my face with his staff, and flys off before I can retaliate. I chase him down a street, past cars and shops and people. None of them react. We don't see any kids yet. He pauses in mid air, and I finally catch up. He tumbles sideways when I launch into his side. Now we're even. We search around for a school and find a elementary academy. Flying by the windows, we see that the classrooms are full of uniform constrained children sitting upright at their desks. Jack flys to the top of the brick prison and raises his staff into the air. I watch from below, standing on the school playground's slide. The clouds gather above him and swirl in lines of gray and white. His staff shines blue light out into the air, and the clouds begin dropping snowflakes. They flow to the staff and disperse all at once in a flurrying explosion. An umbrella of winter spreads over the town for as far as I can see. Snow flutters softly to the sidewalks and rooftops and to people walking by. They seem surprised, perhaps it hasn't snowed in awhile. The recess bell rings, and the kids storm the playground, a river of red uniforms flowing and laughing. The snow sticks to the ground, and before long, everything is white and sparkling. Jack flys down to me and grabs my hand.

"Come on. Ever had a snowball fight?"

The children are all playing quietly in the snow, no one screams or runs. They behave like they've been taught. Orderly. Jack decides to intervene. He forms a snowball in his hand and let's it soar across the playground, like he's pitching a baseball, nailing a kid in the back of the head. The child turns around instantly, surprise evident on his face. He glances around, to make sure a teacher isn't looking, then makes a snowball of his own. He throws it back in the direction it came, and hits another child in the back standing beside us. The child retaliates, friends join friends against rivals, and soon the whole playground erupts into chaos. Jack flys around, looking for opportunities to strike. Kids recognize him immediately, and he seems to glow with happiness. This is what he lives for. I, on the other hand, go unrecognized. No one notices me, and I begin to feel a little disheartened. I walk off the playground, happy to leave Jack to do what he does best. He sees though, from the corner of his eye, and rushes to block my way.

"Hey, where are you going off to?"

Behind me, a child yells to Jack, asking who he's talking to, because no one's there. Jack's eyes widen apologetically, as if the kid was his little brother, or perhaps his son.

"Sorry. Give me a minute?"

"Ya, of course."

I stand alone in the snow, hoping no one thinks I'm a loner, but remember that no one can see me at all. I'm both relieved and saddened.

Before long, I see Jack leading a small group of kids as he walks back over to me. His eyes lock onto mine. He smiles at me, and the children follow him, talking the whole time.

"What are we doing, Jack?"

"Where are we going again?"

"What was her name?"

Her? Jack gestures towards me with his staff, and speaks to the kids.

"I want you all to meet my very good friend, _."

I feel shocked, as if I was dunked in frigid water.

"She's a Guardian, like me. You can't see her yet, because you don't know who she is. That's why I'm telling you. You have to believe in her to see her. Like me."

A little girl with a purple jacket tugs on Jack's hoodie, trying to get his attention. He looks down to her, and she speaks in a quiet voice. I strain my ears to listen.

"Can you tell her I like her wings? I've always wanted wings."

A smile finds its way to my face, and Jack looks over to me. He knows I heard, but repeats the girl's message.

"Victoria likes your wings, _."

"Thank you, Victoria."

She looks right at me, into my eyes, and smiles before hiding her face with her mittened hands. I can barely believe it. I speak in an excited whisper.

"She can see me!"

"What does she look like, Victoria?"

"She has a white dress, and a white coat. Like the kind mommy wears."

The little boy turns to me, the one who spoke to Victoria, and smiles wide.

"Hi! I'm Nathan!"

He must be Victoria's brother, because they both have the same hair color, dirty blonde, and brown eyes.

"I'm _."

I'm not sure what else to say, but Victoria suddenly runs up to me and hugs me around one of my legs. Hugs me. And here I was, fearful that no one would ever see me. I smile down at her, then to Jack. Victoria lets go, and the other kids see me standing there in the snow. One by one, they wave or smile at me, many of them visited by Tooth recently. One kid, Harry, is missing 3 teeth. He proudly announces that he plays hockey for the school. They all group hug me, then pull away. Their curiosity comes through.

"What kind of Guardian are you?"

I look down at a little boy who claims to be 8.

"I'm a Guardian Angel."

"What do you do?"

"I protect kids."

"From what."

"Well, a lot of stuff. Mostly nightmares, though."

"Oh, ok."

They continue to ask about me, and I answer their questions as best as I can. Time passes quickly, and they are sent back inside to learn. Many of them wave goodbye to me, and I wave back for the first time. I stand in the snowy school yard, happy. I hear Jack walking up behind me. The snow crunches, then stops. I turn and hug him.

"Thank you so much! You made them see me! I'm believed in!"

"How do you feel?"

He holds me at arms length, blue eyes searching.

"Amazing."

"Thought you would."

"You're good at making me happy."

"I am?"

"Yes."

I kiss him on the cheek, like I did a long time ago at the top of North's workshop. I make it quick though, hoping to avoid any awkwardness. He's speechless, a rare event. What have I done?! It was an impulse. I blurt out an apology.

"Sorry."

My eyes lower in embarrassment. Definitely awkward.

"_."

I look up at him shyly.

"Why did you apologize? You always apologize."

"I do, don't I."

"Yes. I don't know why, though."

I reply with silence.

"Look, you don't have to be sorry. I'm definitely not... Offended, ok?"

I laugh at him and smile against my will, my eyes lowered to his bare feet. I don't want to love him. That would be complicated. I have things to do. Guardian things. Beating Pitch and protecting kids should be at the top of my list. They're my responsibilities. My priorities.

"Ok, Jack."

I step back, having made my decision. I can't let Jack get in the way of protecting the kids and defeating Pitch. He looks at me with confused eyes. I speak.

"I should train some more, to be ready for Pitch."

He takes a step towards me, smiling confidently in the sunlight. The clouds have left.

"_, you're ready. You just have to wait."

"I want to train though, it'll be good for me."

He buys into it. Guilt washes over me.

"What else do you want to learn?"

I consider this. I can fly well, I can hide ok, I can face my fears, I can shoot straight. I really am ready. But staying occupied is my goal.

"Show me how he fights the Guardians."

"It's different for everyone."

"Come on, there's always a pattern."

Jack narrows his eyes in concentration, then talks.

"Come on, we should go somewhere else, where I can think."

We leave the town behind and fly up high where the air is always clean and cold. Ice crystals are in the air naturally, without Jack's presence.

"I always think clearer up here."

We glide along as I listen to Jack.

"First off, it helps to know that Pitch is a complete narcissist. If you can get him talking about his big plan, or himself, you have him distracted."

"Ok. Sounds easy enough."

"But Pitch, he's really smart too. He may act distracted when he really isn't, and catch you off guard. You may go in for the kill, thinking you're surprising him, but he'll expect it and surprise you."

"So, he uses reverse physiology?"

"Mhmm. Always watch out for that. He also uses his nightmares to surround you when you aren't paying attention. Always listen for the sand moving, it's a dead giveaway. You know what that sounds like, right?"

I recall the induced nightmare, and Pitch snapping Jack's neck.

"Yes, I remember."

"Good, so you'll know when he's trying to surround you. The nightmares don't really have a weak spot- wait a minute."

"What?"

"I just- I know why they're called that now. Nightmares. Mares are horses. Guess they're all girls. Makes sense, they're all so vicious."

"Hey!"

"I can't believe I just now got that. After all this time. Anyway, nightmares don't have a weak spot that any Guardian knows of. Except for little kids touching them. Otherwise, you'll have to fight them like this..."

He stops gliding and stays upright, floating in midair. I make a wide u-turn to get back to him, but by the time I do, he's created an icy version of one of Pitch's nightmares. He makes it behave like one, rearing it's head back and snorting out frigid air through its nostrils. It raises up to its hind legs, stomps back down, and charges at me across the open air.

Without hesitation, I create a smooth metal staff in my hand. I wait for the nightmare to get close, sidestep it, and drive the staff down across its back with all of my weight. The nightmare's back is slick, solid ice though, and my staff leaves only a small crack. It gallops angrily towards me again, reminding me more of a bull, not a horse. This time, I surge up into the air as it passes beneath me, and slam the pole onto the same crack in the ice I made before. It deepens, and Jack shouts to me.

"You're doing pretty well! Now try finishing it!"

The horse charges me again, but this time, I turn and let it chase me through the sky. I can feel its cold breath on my wingtips as I do a loop. It follows, and I bring my wings out like sails to stop me from flying forward once I've done the loop. I turn, like a baseball batter, and swing the staff into the nightmare's face as it completes the loop. It shatters and cracks, distracting the nightmare enough for me to slam the staff down once more onto its back. The whole thing breaks in half and falls away.

Jack approaches with his staff fading back to blue.

"Not bad for your first try. Just wait until there's a hundred or so."

"Ya, really."

"No. Really. Look around."

Surrounding us stand dozens of nightmares, ice of course. Probably exactly a hundred. There was no warning sound of sand. I hope I don't sound nervous when I talk.

"We'll do this together, then?"

"Nope. All you this time..."

I glance uneasily at all of the waiting ice nightmares. They stare back with glazed eyes.

"... I thought you wanted to train."

"I do."

Jack flys up above me, well out of the way of things.

"I won't let you get hurt. And if you want to stop, tell me, ok?"

I nod, turning in a circle, thinking of different ways to do this. No way I can beat them all at once.

Jack lowers his staff towards me, and the horses charge all at once in my direction. I pull my wings in tight to my body and sink like a stone. I form my bow and arrows, making sure to have steel tips. I open my wings and fall with my back to the earth below, so that I face up. After firing several shots off, 6 to be exact, I notice that the icy nightmares could care less. My arrows ricochet off of their smooth bodies and fall away uselessly. I quickly change the arrow tips from pointed arrowheads to flat, heavy cubes of lead. The next batch of arrows does considerable damage to each nightmare, cracking and chipping away at their heads. One falls away after a perfect bullseye between it's eyes, and I aim for that spot on the others. They fall away also, probably a fifth of the entire pack. I turn over to face the earth once they start catching up with me. The bow and arrow are replaced by two maces, something I've only read about in history books. It takes a lot of concentration to make them, since I've never held one before. They are heavy and spiked, perfect for what I have in mind.

I continue to gain distance ahead of the nightmares vertically, and once I'm sure I'm far ahead, I emergency stop with my wings and fly straight up to them. They aren't expecting my maces, and I hold them out, clothes lining nightmares left and right. Ice shatters and they fall away in pairs. My arms begin to tire from the weight of my new weapons, and a nightmare manages to snag me by my wing as I pass by. I feel it clamp down on the feathers with its teeth, and tug against the direction I'm flying. My hair covers my face as I'm yanked backwards. It hurts enough for me to yelp in anger and pain. My maces lash out at the nightmare, making contact several times as it shatters into cold dust. I hear Jack, not too far off.

"Should we stop?"

"We?"

I smash one mace down on a nightmare's back as the second mace goes flying into another nightmare's surprised face, which shatters immediately.

"Isn't this all me?"

I hit the first nightmare again, and it breaks apart like its companion.

"I thought you might be hurt."

Another nightmare's face gets acquainted with my mace, as does his friend. I can no longer stay in one spot, there are too many. I fly away to get the advantage.

"I not hurt. I'm fine."

"_, you're missing feathers."

Half of the nightmares are left. They come at me in a wave of shining ice. I charge at them with my maces raised high, ready to finish the training exercise. I start swinging into the solid mass and a chorus of ringing and cracking fills the frosty air. Five fall away. I fly above them, dive back into the fight, and shatter seven before coming out into the open air again, they follow me up, and I form a shield to replace one mace. I'm starting to feel battered, and bruises are sure to make an appearance later. Three charge me all at once, and fall away seconds later. Many take their place though, and I'm surrounded. I bash into them with my shield, trying to escape their diamond hard bodies, only to bounce back. I'm ready to charge through them to try and get back to open air when they all dissolve away into sparkling dust.

Jack stands before me, his staff fading. I hover in the air, unmoving except for my pulsing wings. They hurt, the right one more so because of the nightmare yanking it back earlier. I start to tilt as the left one picks up the slack for it. Jack comes closer, ready to help me if I need it. I do, but I won't admit it. Stubbornness is a trait I inherited from my mother.

"Why'd you stop the fight?"

He raises his eyebrows in disbelief.

"Are you kidding me?"

"No. I was gonna finish it. I wanted to."

"You're hurt pretty bad. I thought I should prevent any other injuries. Besides, I said I wouldn't let you get hurt."

"You also said that if I wanted to stop the training, I could say so."

He's quiet for a moment.

"Look, _. I've always been bad at watching people get hurt. Especially my friends and people I care about."

Wonder which category I fall under.

"I'm reckless, I'll admit that, and I shouldn't have put you in a fight you wouldn't win."

Deep down, I know I wouldn't have won, but my pride tends to jump in my way.

"How do you know I wouldn't have beat them? I was halfway there, Jack."

He seems exasperated.

"Look at yourself. You're... you're bleeding."

He comes closer to me and grabs my arm carefully, avoiding a new bruise. He keeps me from flying in a circle with my injured wing. I keep pulsing them though, to hold my weight as best as I can.

"_, can you just relax for a second? I got you."

I look down to my arm. I stop moving my wings and let him keep me in the air.

He frowns and looks at my face. I can feel faint stinging from cuts. Probably from nightmare hooves. He looks at my arms too, and my shins. Both are bruised and battered. My right wing also manages to catch his eye. Bright red drips off of one of my feathers and falls towards the earth. I briefly imagine it landing in the ocean. Jack touches my right wing carefully, trying to get a better look at it. I wince and he apologizes.

"Don't apologize, you don't have to. I wanted to train, remember?"

We leave it at that, because I am right.

A handful of feathers are missing, but I manage to fly back to the safety of the ground with some occasional help from Jack. We end up landing in a desert of some sort. It's flat and as far as I can see, there is only cracked dirt around for miles. Jack says we're in Arizona. The sun is almost down though, and we both sit down on the ground. Jack wants to see my wing again, so I stretch it out to my right as far as I can. He sits in front of it, and starts gently rearranging my feathers to see where the nightmare bit down. The spot is near the bone of my wing, right where the feathers come out. Luckily, the nightmare's teeth missed my muscle and tore out pure feathers. My muscles were still sore though, ripped and torn on the inside from the sudden change in direction. It was starting to swell up around the area where four feathers were missing, so Jack conveniently formed ice onto my wing. When he was finished,he wanted to try the same trick on my bruises, but I objected as soon as the ice covered my warm skin. It was too cold to bear, so Jack simply frosted the bruises with a thin layer of ice crystals. I looked like I had been covered in glitter. When he finishes, I draw my wing in to my side, and he sits down beside me on the desert floor.

The sun looks powerful from the ground, huge and blinding. Minutes pass away until the sun seems less bright. The sky is ablaze with warm colors of red and orange. Cooler colors frame the entire event with violet and deep indigo. The stars come out in clusters at a time as the sun disappears below the horizon. Before we know it, the sky is deep and velvety. I see a star that blinks every second, and focus on it. The light is old, sent out of the star many, many years ago. It is just now making it to my eyes here on the earth. For all I know, the star could be dead, an empty space of blackness out there away from everything.

"Jack, why is it that when I train, I get hurt?"

We both laugh at this though, because it's completely true.

"You're bad luck, probably."

"Huh. Never thought of that. Maybe a leprechaun could help me out."

"He exists, you know."

"Oh. Well then. Glad he's not here."

I can see him smirk at that, then he looks up into the sky.

"How's your wing feeling?"

"Good enough to use again."

"Really? That fast?"

"No. It's sore."

"You're always kidding with me."

"I'm sorry, I thought I was talking to Jack Friggin Frost, the master of kidders."

"So I'm your master?"

I give him an incredulous stare.

"Uh, no, because I'm not a kidder. I'm just witty."

"And sarcastic."

"Like you aren't."

"Hey, birds of a feather..."

He holds up the handful of my missing feathers and grins cheesily.

"Ha ha, you're hilarious, Jack."

"I know."

We become quiet like usual when there's nothing else to say. Because of the lack of noise, I accidentally pick up on Jack's heartbeat. It's calm and constant, thumping consistently. I wonder if he's listening to mine. And he's probably wondering if I'm listening to his, while listening to mine.

Heartbeat-ception.

Well, not really. Inception means the beginning of something.

Oh, irony. What are you doing here at this time of night? What's that? Oh, you think "the beginning of something" implies that I've finally come to the realization that I love Jack? Hmm. Maybe.

My heartbeat has picked up, and I feel like- actually he can hear it. His head tilts to the side a bit. Great.

"You ok?"

I clear my throat.

"Yes, I'm fine."

"...ok..."

I concentrate on calming my heart down. It finally listens to me and returns to normal.

For some reason, I think of my parents. I suddenly miss them for the first time in a long time. Are they looking down on me now? Wondering why I'm sitting beside this white haired boy. In the middle of the desert. With an injured wing.

I'm sure they'd approve of Jack. Maybe.

I glance at him, and he's closing his eyes and drifting off.

I think they'd like him. Definitely.

Suddenly, Jack speaks. It startles me, because I thought he was sleeping.

"Do you remember the promise I made?"

"When?"

"The day you, uh, died."

He spoke the last word quietly.

"Yes. You said that we'd be ok. I made you promise me."

He nods, and faces me.

"There was another, too. I just now started thinking about it again. I haven't in awhile because... I don't know. I just haven't."

"The one about Pitch?"

"Yes. That one. And I still plan on carrying it out."

"Revenge isn't always the best motivation."

His eyes shine into mine.

"How can you say that?"

I don't speak up. He suddenly becomes louder.

"_, he KILLED you! I can't let that go! How can I?"

He narrows his eyes.

"How can you?"

This time I have a response.

"Because the moon brought me back, and that's what matters. At least, that's what should matter."

His eyes widen in disbelief.

"_, do you realize that I thought you were gone? As in gone, and staying in the ground. He did that to me. He took you away. You can't be human anymore. You're missing out on so much, and you don't even realize it. That's why I want him to pay."

I exhale in an exasperated sigh. Jack is right. Pitch can't get away with murder. And I too want him to pay for what he did to me, although my reason is justice, not revenge.

"Ok, Jack."

He is quiet for a moment, but offers an apology.

"Sorry for shouting at you."

"It's ok. Sorry for causing you to shout."

But I'm not.