Hello fellow readers! This is gonna be my last chapter for a while. I'm going on vacation! A cruise ship to be exact! But don't worry, I'm not giving up on you guys yet! Well, anyways, here''s the chapter. It took a while to do. I really think it's one of my favorite chapters! Also, it's only about the Hot Club and Epi. Not anything in Japan. Anyways, I'll let you guys get to the story. :)

Back in America

"Well, boys, welcome to my humble abode." Epi dramatically waved at her sorry excuse of a house with pride. The Host Club sweat dropped. Before their eyes laid a broken down...house, if that was what you could call it. The place more likely resembled an oversized shack. The roof was in pieces, random bits flying in every direction as the wind soared by. The front door was nearly off of its hinges, hanging only by a single nail.

"Wow, your house is worse than Haruhi's." Hikaru muttered with distaste. Haruhi's face fell.

"I'm right here you know!" She snapped back. Tamaki gasped as he turned to Hikaru.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? HOW COULD YOU INSUALT HARUHI!WHO CARES IF HER HOUSE IS SMALL AND OUT OF TASTE?" Tamaki yapped. Haruhi's face fell more as she said again,

"I'M STILL RIGHT HERE!" She screamed. Tamaki ran over to her.

"Please don't be mad Haruhi! We didn't mean it! Please forgive you daddy!" Tamaki pleaded, tears in his eyes. Haruhi glared at him.

"No need for that. I already made up my mind about it." She replied staring away. Tamaki put his bottom lip out.

"YOU CAN'T MAKE UP YOU MIND NOW! YOU HAVEN'T EVEN HAD ENOUGH TIME TO THINK!" Tamaki shouted. Epi looked back and forth at them.

"Did you just say…daddy?" Epi asked with a puzzled look. "You know, incest is illegal…."

"HEY!" Tamaki screamed back.

"Well, anyways, let's go inside. I think the stray cats might've got in again." Epi said ignoring Tamaki, who was sulking in the corner again. "Uh…I don't think that's a good idea. The hobos might steal your clothes like they did Jeffery my neighbor. Poor guy got aids after that." Epi said shaking her head at the horrible memory. Tamaki sat straight up and walked inside.

"Wow that was a good trick! I should try it more often!" Haruhi said. Epi laughed.

"You thought I was joking? I'm not joking! It's true!" Epi said closing the door. Everybody stared at the cans, wrappers and bags that sat scattered on the floor. The carpet had colorful stains everywhere. The walls were chipped and the ceiling had brown stuff splattered everywhere, for some odd, unknown reason. The curtains were ripped and there was a big yellow leak on the wood floor.

"GOD DAMMIT! THE CATS GOT IN AGAIN!" Epi screamed chasing the cat with her bat.

"Well…this is…interesting…" Kyoya said pushing up his glasses. Epi threw her bat on the floor and ran upstairs.

"C'mon. Follow me to my room." The Host Club did what she said and followed her. The Host Club was even more surprised when they saw Epi's room. The floor was covered with empty, half-full, and full bags of chips, candy, and every junk food you could imagine. There was a laptop on the bed, game station in the corner, and a Wii in the other corner with muffin crumbs flying out of the disk thingy. Not to mention, there was food crammed in every spot. In the blankets, pillows, bathroom, and even in some of Epi's pants. Plus, there was a bowl of strawberries sitting on the dresser with flies surrounding them.

"Did the cats come here too? Oh no! That's just me! Heh heh!" Epi chuckled. Everyone walked around the trash and sat on crumb filled bed. "So anyways, what are your guy's names?" Epi continued sticking her hand in a popcorn bowl.

"Well, I'm Tamaki the Prince." Tamaki said holding his head high.

"Tamaki the Prince of what?" Epi asked. Tamaki thought for a moment.

"He's the prince of our Host Club. And I'm Kyoya, Vice President."

"I'm Hikaru."

"I'm Karou."

"I'm Honey and that's Mori!"

"Uh…I'm Haruhi."

"Okay, I'm Epi!" Epi said cheerfully as the phone rang. Epi sighed and answered.

"What Mom? If you're calling to see if I've changed my mind about the strippers, the answer is still NO!" Epi screamed into the phone. After a few moments, she had an embarrassed look on her face. "Oh. It's just you NateyBoo. I thought you were my mom." Epi ran into the closet with her phone.

"What the hell is she doing in the closet…?" Karou asked.

"No clue." Replied Tamaki. "Eavesdropping time!"The Host Club put their ears to the door and listened.

"Oh it's okay Epiphany. I was just calling to see if we could maybe hang tomorrow…" This so called NateyBoo kid said into the phone. NateyBoo was really Nathan Oscar William, Epi's boyfriend.

"Oh…I'm sorry I can't NateyBoo. Have a couple of boys here at the house and they're spending the night. And I have some business to do with them tomorrow, if you know what I mean." Epi said. This obviously turned out wrong to Nathan.

"Boys? Why do you have boys over Epiphany?" Nathan asked louder than usual. (This is still pretty damn quiet) "Are you- you cheating on me?" He asked. Epi asked.

"How could you think that NateyBoo? Me and the Host Club are just-" She began.

"It's the Host Club and I, Epi. Not Me and the Host Club." Nathan corrected.

"How could you correct your own girlfriend? And why do you not trust me? And why have you not gotten me any chocolate? You don't love me anymore, do you?" Epi said into the fun eyes full of tears.

"Epi- it's complicated. Listen, I got to go do some things. And I think we need to take a little break. Not for good, just until you figure things out. And about tomorrow, never mind. I'm gonna hang up now…"

"NOOOOOO! HOW COULD YOU NATEYBOO! WE DON'T NEED A BREAK! I'LL FIGURE THIS OUT! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE!"

"Epi, stop being a spaz. We're not done forever. I just need to think this through. Don't be such a drama queen about it. It's not worth it."

"DID YOU JUST CALL ME A SPAZ? AND DRAMA QUEEN? HOW COULD YOU!" Epi screamed into the phone. But he already hung up. Epi opened the door. The Host Club fell over and stared at Epi's scary looking face. "WHY WERE YOU EASEDROPPING?" She asked her voice unnaturally firm. The Host Club's face was drained. Tamaki gave his goo goo eyes.

"We're oh, so sorry, Epi. We were just concerned. Do you forgive us dear Epi?" Epi glared at him and kicked him the face.

"YOU THINK THAT WORKS HERE IN AMERICA?" Epi screamed at him ingoring his tears.

"You-you and your sister with violence!" Tamaki sobbed wiping his bloody nose. Epi wiped her hair out of her face.

"As you all should know, there was a traggic incident in th-the closet," Epi sniffed. "My dear boyfriend, Nate, A.K.A, my NateyBoo, h-h-he wants to take a break! He thinks I'm cheating on him with you! Which is just, just OFFENSIVE!" Epi wailed falling to her knees. "I'm so sorry. I told myself I wouldn't cry. I TOLD MYSELF I WOULDN'T CRY! But anyways, to proove my innocence, I have decided we go to his house and explain everything!" Epi said cheering up.

"Um...it's like 5:00 in the morning..." Haruhi pointed out. Epi's face lit up.

"Oh my god! Don't you guys love that song! 5:00 in the morning! Conversation got boaring! You said you were going to bed soon, so I snuck off to your bedroom- Oh yeah. You guys are from Japan...SHIT!" Epi screamed. "But, who cares what time it is! Let's go!" Everyone shrugged and followed Epi. Once they were half way down the street, Hikaru remembered something.

"Uh...do you even know where this guy lives...?" He asked. Epi stopped walking and turned around face red.

"GOD DAMMIT!"

Hope you liked it! Well, I'm off to a cruise ship! Ta-ta!