The Monument Keeperoliver Chapter 9
Luna was in such turmoil, that Molly took her children with her to watch over them, while Luna grieved.
Luna was staying with Harry, but she seldom left her room. She felt like she had failed her children, by letting Rolf do what he wanted to do, with out any real guidance. She felt something would go wrong, yet she let him continue on with this folly. Why didn't she just put her foot down, and tell him if he wanted it to work, then wait for Arthur or any one with more experience in the workings of muggle and magical mixtures.
Another thing that worried her, was the fact that she grieved not for her husband, but for the father of her children. They would be growing up with out a father. How would they be able to cope with out one? How did Harry cope with out either parent? More questions arose as she continued to grieve. No, she didn't think she was grieving. It was more like sulking. Like she lost a good friend, not a husband. This is what was keeping her locked up. She was ashamed to face anyone for fear it might come out.
She knew what real grieving felt like, as she grieved when her mum died. This was not like that. It didn't leave a hole in her heart like it should have. Why was she like this. Rolf had shown her nothing but love for the entire time he was with her. He cared for the kids like any normal father should. He paid attention to her like any normal husband should. Possibly even more than most husbands showed for their wives. So, why did she feel this way?
Even worse than how she felt about Rolf, was how she grieved when Harry was announced dead. How she left her world to enter the Ministry, just to find the truth behind his disappearance. Then when she discovered the truth, and killed someone to bring Harry back, was beyond anything she felt she would ever do. Yes, Kingsley had told her it was only a matter of time before Albert would die, but the fact remained the same, she had killed him. Then she was thrilled to have Harry back. It actually didn't bother her as much as expected, because she brought Harry back to all his friends. Then she thought truthfully to herself, no not for his friends, but for her. She brought Harry back for herself. With Ginny now happily married, as was Hermione, she knew that Harry's being back would fill a hole in her heart he gave her when she thought he was dead. How could she have such feelings for him, when she herself was married. Then she thought because it was not a happy marriage.
Luna was building so much confusion in herself that she was driving herself crazy. How could she ever face anyone again with these feelings she had. She should be feeling sad and lost. Instead she was feeling free from the life she had dug for her. She had to face the facts that though she loved Rolf, she was never in love with him. She knew it, and so did he. She knew he felt the same as her. Yet he stayed with her, and helped her through her rough times, which were many. Her frustrations when she ran into dead ends following up leads into Harry's disappearance. He was always faithful to her. He could have run off with any one, yet he remained by her side, even though she did not love him like she should have. And since she knew he was aware of it, she did not feel so bad about it. Now it was making her feel like a bad wife.
It was going to take awhile for her to fight through these feelings, and she hoped she would remain sane throughout the fight. It wasn't going to be easy with her living with the person that has created all this turmoil. No, Harry didn't cause this. He was an innocent bystander. But to her, he was someone she always looked up to for protection. Always going to be there when she needed him, like he was there yesterday. Like he was there ten years ago. Like he will always be there for her.
TM-}
Harry spent all of his time with his parents and Sirius. Waking up early, and going to bed late. He needed their company more than he needed food. He was eating just one meal a day, and Lily began to worry about him. Even with her prodding, she knew that Harry wasn't doing as she asked. He would leave for ten minutes then return saying that he had done what she asked. When he finally called it a night, the three would continue to talk amongst them selves, with Lily expressing her concern for her son.
Sirius usually blew it off as Harry just trying to get through a rough moment. James on the other hand became just as worried as Lily, as he saw Harry's features become more dwindled as time went on. There was no fullness to his face, his frame was down to where if he took his shirt off, you could count his ribs, and he seemed to lack energy.
Another one Lily was worried about was Luna. She didn't seem right to her. Like she was fighting something. She thought it might be her loss that was causing this. But she had been here now for three days, and she had not left her room. She thanked the stars that Molly was smart enough to take care of the kids from the start. With both Harry and Luna being in the shape they were in, the kids would be uncared for.
TM-}
It was two weeks, and neither Harry or Luna had changed, and matters were getting worse. It was time Lily took matters into her own hands. She hoped he would respond to her call, "Dobby, if you can hear me, and can respond to this call, please come here." She let out a sigh of relief when the figure od Dobby popped before her portrait.
"You wish to see Dobby, Missy Lily?"
"Thank you Dobby. I didn't know if you would answer my call or not. I need you help Dobby. Both Harry and Luna are in bad shape. They are not eating, and even though I haven't seen her, I imagine that Luna is in worse shape than Harry. Please look into their health for me. I fear for their safety. They need to eat, and take care of themselves."
Dobby looked thoughtfully at her and said, "Dobby will look into their well being Missy Lily. Everything will be alright." and he popped out once again.
Dobby popped into Harry's room, to see him laying in his bed. He was so thin and weak looking that if he got into a fight with a child, he could lose. Dobby then popped into Missy Luna's room and saw she was even worse. At first he thought she was sleeping, but when he approached her, the smell that came from her was terrible. Body waste and fluids soiled her bed linens and clothes. She was unconscious. He snapped his fingers to discard the clothes she was wearing and put fresh clothes on her. Then he snapped his fingers, and a tray of food was in his hands. He set this on the table beside her bed, the another snap and she started to stir. Being so weak, she barely moved, and Dobby took the drink from her tray and brought it to her lips. She drank from this slowly to prevent choking. Once she was able to move a little better, Dobby spoke, "Does Missy Luna wish to eat? Dobby will help you if you are too weak to feed yourself?"
Luna accepted Dobby's help, and soon she was feeling better. She didn't eat much, but it was enough to give her some strength to sit up. "Thank you Dobby. How long have I been out?"
"Dobby does not know Missy Luna. Dobby just found you like this. Missy Lily was worried about you, and asked me to check up on you, and Harry Potter sir. Although he was not good, he was in better shape than you were. You has to be out for days though, as you were dirty and stinky. Dobby has to clean you and dress you before he could feed you."
"Was I really that bad Dobby? You had to clean and dress me?"
"Yes Missy Luna you were. Dobby hopes you are not mad at him?"
Luna smiled for the first time in weeks, "No Dobby, I am not mad at you. I am thankful that you cared enough to check on me."
"Dobby was pleased to help Missy Luna. Now if you is feeling better, Dobby will go take care of Harry Potter. He also needs me."
Before he could leave, Luna asked him, "Dobby, would it be alright if I went with you? I wish to see that he is OK."
"Of course Missy Luna." he took her hand, and he popped them into Harry's room.
They both saw that Harry was starting to stir as well. When he opened his eyes to find his glasses, he was surprised to see two blurry figures standing next to his bed. He set the glasses on his nose and saw that both Dobby and Luna were there. "Luna, Dobby, what are you two doing here. And why do you look like hell Luna?"
"You don't look so dashing yourself Harry." Luna smiled.
"I guess I don't. Now, tell me. Why are you here?"
Dobby stepped forward, "Missy Lily was worried about you, and asked me to check up on you and Missy Luna. Dobby found you sleeping, so he went to check on Missy Luna. She needed my help more than you."
Harry looked to Luna, "What does he mean by that Luna?"
Luna looked down at her feet, "He means that I was unconscious, lying in my own body wastes Harry. I haven't eaten since I got here and passed out. Harry we need to talk, but first, you have to eat something."
"I'm not Hungry."
Luna had tears in her eyes. "Please Harry, you have to eat something. I am going to need you to be strong for both of us. If you eat something, then I will also. I didn't eat much, and could probably use something else."
Harry could not help but feel sorry for Luna, and agreed to her request.
They were both hungrier than they thought, as all the food that Dobby gave them was soon gone. He then had a dessert for them, and they finished them off as well.
Feeling better, Harry and Luna began their talk. When they started, Dobby popped out of the room and into the library to report to Lily that the two were up and talking, after eating. "Thank you Dobby. You don't know how much this meant to me."
"Dobby will be back to make sure they continue to eat Missy Lily. They will not go back to the way they were, not if Dobby can help it." and Dobby was gone back to Remus, Tonks, Teddy and his Leia.
TM-}
The following days saw Harry and Luna with more energy, now that they were eating more and getting out of their rooms. They shared time with the portraits, and left the Manor for walks. They talked about different things and enjoyed the time they shared with each other. Harry and Luna had a long talk where they shared how each of them were feeling. Harry was surprised how Luna felt about Rolf and about him self.
Harry then told Luna about his thoughts on him hearing Luna's plea for help in his mind. This now made more sense to him. Luna felt the same way. They didn't know where they formed it, but they both felt that they shared a bond. Harry thought it was Malfoy Manor, where as Luna felt it was in the training sessions of their fourth year for Luna, and Harry's fifth year. She felt this way, because before that, Luna felt like no one ever saw her. Like she didn't exist there in the school.
When Harry and Luna brought this up to his mum and dad, It was Sirius that said, "Harry, believe it or not, I think it is Luna who is correct. Bringing her into you group was a turning point in her life. She went from wallflower to accepted and cared for. What you did in the Manor, only strengthened what you started."
Harry stared at Sirius for a moment, "Have you been talking to Hermione? That sounded more like her, than you."
"Hey, I have my moments. So what if I have talked with her. I can still think on my own. Besides, you know what I said is true. It all makes sense. Luna didn't have any friends other than Ginny before she met you. She was lonely, and picked on. In a sense, you rescued her from her loneliness. The thing is though, it was like you said Harry, a weak one to start. Saving her from the Manor strengthened it some more, and then when she found and saved you, it may have completed it."
Lily was fanning herself after that one. "If I didn't know better, I would swear that Pads has bettered himself in the portrait. He would never come up with something so deep in real life."
"I never had to in real life. I was able to skip through it with out thinking."
James said, "Ain't that the truth."
Lily added, "Amen to that dear husband."
Sirius just said, "Prats."
TM-}
It was just two more weeks, and Harry and Luna were doing much better. They ate three meals a day, walked for an hour every day. Their color came back to their cheeks, and overall, looked healthy.
It was time for Luna to get her kids back with her and start the healing process all over again. Lorcan and Lysander must have felt abandoned by their mother during this time, and they may have been right in an abstract way. She had left them to get control of her life and figure out what it was she felt about everything. Rolf, Harry, and her feelings for both. What Harry told her made more sense then she realized. A bond would cause what she felt, keeping her from loving Rolf fully. It would place a barrier between them that she could not breach. Her feelings for Harry would always be in their way. One thing she couldn't figure out was why Harry and Ginny hadn't formed one because of the Chamber incident.
Lily later explained that it was because they were both so young, and Harry didn't know what love was. If Petunia and Vernon had shown Harry love, then a bond may have been formed between the two, but such was not the case. Yes, Harry and Ginny would later fall in love, but it was not enough to keep Ginny holding on to it after he disappeared. She had known the love of family her whole life, and it was then time for her to find the love of her own family. Dean provided that love. She did love Dean during her fifth year, but it was too soon for her to know what the full impact of it was. He was too emotional and caring for her, and at that time she still had feelings for Harry, so she broke it off before it got too serious.
Luna was taking her time getting ready to receive the twins, and Harry was doing the same, so both missed the floo call of Ginny's. Lily answered it for them, "Hello Ginny, this is Lily. Harry and Luna are getting ready and are nor here, what can I do for you?"
"Hello Mrs. Potter. I asked mum if I could bring the twins over. I just wish to talk to Luna and Harry. Are they really doing alright?"
"Well, their lives have improved significantly. They are eating better, and they have taken to walking for exercise every day. They talk with us for hours, and I can see where Luna is ready to care for her kids once again."
"Good. Do you think we could floo there now, and maybe surprise them?"
"I don't see why not. They should be down in just a few minutes. You could wait here for them."
Ginny's face pulled from the flames, then they flared up once again, and Ginny and the twins stepped through. She cleaned the twins off, then herself, and took a seat in front of the portraits too talk with them. The twins busied themselves by playing a game.
Lily began the conversation, "Well Ginny, how have you been?"
"Worried Mrs. Potter. About Luna and how she was handling Rolf's death. About Harry and how he was handling everything that is going on. About Dean and I since Harry's return. Although, that is not too much to worry over, as I love Dean, and I think he knows that. It is just he still hears my talking in my sleep at night, where I dream about Harry. Is that wrong that I dream about him Mrs. Potter?"
Lily shook her head, "Ginny, why do you call me Mrs. Potter? You can call me Lily. As for your dreams, it is only that getting Harry back the way you did, and the guilt you may be feeling about not waiting for him, is probably what is causing you to dream. You have to get over feeling guilty for what you think you did to Harry. You didn't do anything wrong. Harry does not know what everyone went through after he disappeared. He does not know the feelings that went through their minds. How everyone tried to keep each other strong after coming back from the grasp of death's control. He is finally beginning to realize that the people he left, are not the same people anymore. Yes, you have moved on with your lives, but that does not mean that you all don't care for Harry, it is just a different type of caring. One of friendship, and family."
"Does he really feel that way, or are you just trying to project a better image of him, while he hides his true feelings? Harry was always showing his emotions while in school. Though he didn't know it at the time, love was always an emotion he displayed. It wasn't until his sixth year that thought of love as an emotion that he felt. He mistook it for friendship until that year."
"I don't know if he ever felt it that way Ginny. He doesn't talk too much about his personal life at school with us. Harry does try to hide his emotions, but I see through his coverup."
"AHEM!"
Lily snickered, "Yes James, you wish to say something?"
"I would, thank you. You both know that Sirius and I are both here and wouldn't mind getting a word in edge wise?"
"Of course we do dear. However, we were talking about something neither you or Pads are masters of. They are called emotions. They are a full range of feeling that most people have and it affects their lives in many different ways. Most people try to control their emotions and live a normal life. You and Pads let your emotions run your mouths, rather than your mind running them. Now, what is it you wish to say my love?"
Ginny was covering her mouth so she wouldn't laugh out loud. James and Sirius were both quiet while they tried to figure out what Lily had just said to them.
Sirius took a stab at trying to answer her, "Is this your way of saying that Prongs and I let our emotions run our lives Lils, because if that's the case, then you are so wrong. We can control our emotions when the need arises. Being emotional is just the way we are."
"And that is what?" Lily answered.
"HUH!"
"Just what are you, if you let your emotions run your mouth?" Lily simply replied.
James was beginning to get defensive. He always thought that was what Lily loved most about him, his emotional outbursts. "So, you are telling us that you don't like this about us? We are too emotional when we speak?"
"Not at all James. I love that you get so emotional. However, like I said, there is a large range of emotions, and you haven't come to see the difference in them. Both you and Pads sometime answer while thinking the wrong thing. Like now. You are answering my question with a defensive guilt feeling. You should be answering with calm and resolve instead."
Once again both Sirius and James were quiet, and Lily took this as the end of the discussion. "Now Ginny, as I was saying, Harry tries to cover his emotions. He mistook your feelings for friendship in his earlier years because of his lack of knowing what love was. It wasn't until your mother showed him what it it truly meant that he began to know what it was. Now, I am going to tell you something that Harry just learned, and I think it is true. Harry and Luna have come to realize that there is a bond between them, and it was the reason that she was never in love with her husband. Oh she loved him for a different reason, but was not in love with him. Don't think that Luna didn't care for Rolf, because she did. What I think it was, is Luna and Harry's bond kept her from falling in love with Rolf."
"Are you telling me that Harry and Luna are bonded Mrs. Potter? How could that be? When did it happen? Why are they just feeling it now?"
Lily laughed at her questions, "First off, will you please call me Lily."
"I'm sorry, but I don't feel I have that right to call you that. Not after the way Harry is hurting because of me."
Now Lily was angry. Not at Ginny, or anyone in particular. Just the situation. "OK, this is it. You did not cause the way Harry is feeling. Dean did not cause the way Harry is feeling. Tom caused the way Harry is feeling. But that in a way, saved both Luna and Harry. If Harry had fallen in love with you, and you married, then Luna would still be in the shape she was in. Harry may have even felt it later on, and that would have ruined your marriage. Harry and Luna haven't let the bond take hold just yet, but it will soon bring them together. No one knows this yet, so please keep it to yourself, until they are ready to share it with the others."
"So, Harry and I were never meant to be?" Ginny was now crying.
"No, that is not what I am saying, I'm just saying that you and Harry would have had trouble with your marriage, but could have worked it out. That would not have been the case with Luna. She could never find love with anyone else. You see, even though you and Harry didn't bond during the Chamber incident, feelings began to grow in Harry's heart for you. Feelings that he refused to acknowledge because of your brother. Harry told me that Ron kept telling him that you were his little sister, and he would keep any boy away from you that he didn't see as any good. Harry thought he fell into that category. Things were always happening to him, and he may have felt that Harry could be placing you in danger if he got too close to you. That was the reason why you didn't bond during the Chamber. Harry did not think of you as anything other than Ron's little sister."
Ginny and Lily's talk had to end there, as they heard Harry and Luna coming down the stairs. Ginny wasn't sure how she could handle Harry and Luna sharing a bond.
A/N: I expect some questions, if not out right disagreement from this chapter. Let me say this before you all start dumping on me.
A bond took affect on Harry and Luna when Harry showed he cared for Luna and brought her into his group of friends. Luna was never popular in school, until he did this. then when he saved her life in the Manor, the bond solidified.
Would this cause Harry to have different feelings for Ginny if they managed to get together? We may never know the answer to that question. At least not in this story.
This probably didn't get my point across, and I will try to answer each question as I receive them. There are definitely points I didn't realize as I wrote this, and with the group of intelligent people I have reading this, I will get to see those different perspectives.
In the mean time, I look forward to your reviews. As always, Ollie the Keeper.
PS. OK teach, I'm ready for my lesson.