Bec Note: Hope you guys know the song or I'll be sad!

Chapter 2: Those Left Behind

Garrus pushed play again. He had lost track of how many times he had listened to it, but he didn't care. It was purely her. It sounded like her, felt like her… He could even hear her voice in it. She sang all the time, and truthfully she wasn't that bad, a little pitchy at times, but not horrible. It was all he had left of her: a silly little song from Earth that she had once called her favorite. The funeral was in an hour, and Garrus didn't want to go. Going meant this was real, it meant she was gone and that was something Garrus didn't want to face.

He was angry. Angry at her. Angry at the ship that attacked them. Angry at the Normandy for being so easily destroyed. Garrus was just angry. But anger was better than sadness, or depression. He wasn't sure how worse Joker could get. He blamed himself, as well as a whole lot of other people did. Garrus didn't. He knew better. Shepard would have done what she did had it been Joker, or Liara, or any other crewman. No, Garrus knew who to blame and that was Shepard herself.

Why did she have to be so selfless? Didn't she know better? She was the only one on that ship that mattered. Well, that wasn't entirely true, but what she started? The galaxy needed her to finish it. Now that she was gone, Garrus knew that everything she had done would be forgotten and ignored. Politics: Bunch of bull shit. Or B.S., as Lane would have put it. He smiled, remembering her ridiculous refusal to use curse words, something she failed at occasionally. It always had made him laugh, but right now it made his chest ache. He missed his friend.

Garrus played the song again.

What would the galaxy do without Commander Shepard? What would he do? He knew he had to keep up his spectre training, but he couldn't think straight. He couldn't see the next day.

The doors to his room hissed open.

"She always loved that song." Anderson said with a smile. Garrus tried to fake a smile, but failed.

"How you holding up, son?" Anderson asked as he settled on the couch in front of him.

Garrus answered with the shake of his head, afraid of what he would say if he opened his mouth.

"Yea, me too." Anderson sunk back on the couch, sighing heavily. "I remember the first time I ever saw Lane. Not a lot of people know this, but I was aboard the ship that found her after her family was killed. In fact, I don't think she even knows."

Garrus sat back, crossing arms. He was intrigued.

"I can't imagine the hell she went through, but even then, she was strong." He paused, clearly waiting for Garrus to say something. When he didn't, Anderson continued, "She was angry. She had just watched her whole family, all her friends die. But even then, there was a determination in her eyes. She refused to let it shape her, to let her pain and grief and anger control her."

Garrus sighed, he knew what Anderson was trying to do, "If this is some sort of pep talk, thanks, but it's not working."

Anderson leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "I can't imagine what you must be feeling. I assume it's about as bad as what Joker is feeling. He was the last person to see her alive, and blames himself, but you were her best friend. She cared about you Garrus."

Garrus's eyes remained on the floor.

Anderson frowned. "Lane wouldn't want you mourning her for forever. She died a hero, and I don't think she would have it any other way."

Garrus lifted his gaze, and stared right at Anderson, "Lanie was already a hero. She didn't need to prove it." He reached over and restarted the song. The tightness in his chest was becoming unbearable, and Anderson wasn't helping.

Anderson sighed heavily. "I'll see you in an hour, son." He said as he walked to the doors, letting them hiss open before he spoke again. "Don't let this shape you, Garrus. You know Lane would be pissed at you." He smiled sadly, then left Garrus alone with his thoughts.

The song filled the room, chasing away the silence. Garrus listened, singing it in his head, though the voice that sang wasn't his own. Fighting back tears he listened to Lanie sing her favorite song.

Well I know what's right, I got just one life…

…

Tali fought back tears as she made her way to the funeral, walking behind a broken Joker. She felt so bad for him. He blamed himself for what happened, and she understood why. She would have done the same thing, but it didn't make looking at him any easier. He looked terrible. There were dark circles under his bloodshot eyes. His skin was paled and he refused to talk to anyone. She wanted to help. Joker had always been nice to her, always made her laugh.

Tali frowned, letting a few tears fall down. They had reached their seats right in the front row. The stage that was set up on the Citadel was dressed in white: Lane's favorite color. Tali had never understood why white was her favorite color. It was so dull, and uninteresting. Garrus had explained it to her though the previous night and it seemed to fit Shepard. Lane liked the color white because it was pure. It reflected all the other colors instead of absorbing them like black. There was some sort of metaphor in that that reflected Lane's life. Tali understood, but she didn't like to think about it. Lane was the purest person she had ever met. She never pretended to be something she wasn't. She never strove to fit in like Tali always did. In fact, she was everything Tali wasn't. Once again, Tali wished she had died and not Shepard. The galaxy would be better off. She sighed, letting the tears flow freely now. Joker leaned up and pulled her to him. She rested her head on his chest, letting the sadness consume her.

oOo

Joker hated it when women cried. For once, he was grateful he couldn't see Tali's face. He wasn't sure he could take it, hearing her sobs was enough. Joker hated this. This was all his fault, if he had just left the cockpit when Liara told him to Shepard would be alive, kicking ass and taking names. But no. Joker was a stubborn fool thinking he could save the Normandy. It was just a ship: just a stupid ship.

The first song began to play. It was the song Anderson had chosen. He smiled despite the pain in his chest. Anderson and Shepard had the same awful taste in music. They both loved the oldies, like the real oldies. Good 'ol fashioned rock n roll, southern rock, hippy music, that weirdo Elton John… Gah, Joker hated the stuff, but… It fit. It fit Shepard. He tried to remember what this song was. He had heard it once. They were out searching for geth. It was one of the first days, and Shepard was already bored. She was supposed to be writing reports. Instead, Joker had found using her hands as an air guitar and singing along with this song. Joker could barely contain his laughter as he watched. Though she didn't stop dancing when she knew she had been discovered. She simply sang louder and pulled him gently to dance with her. It wasn't exactly the best song to dance too and Shepard really couldn't dance. She was terrible, but she never let that stop her.

Tali sobbed against his chest, and he held her tighter. Poor girl. Shepard was the first person who ever even cared to befriend her. And it was his fault she was crying. He was a fool. A guilty fool. Joker hung his head and remembered his moment of dancing with Shepard to this song…

Hey baby! There ain't no easy way out!

oOo

Liara looked around. People seemed shocked by the song playing. It wasn't exactly the saddest Earth song she had ever heard, but it fit. It was entirely Shepard, and it made Liara smile. She just wished it had the same effect on Garrus. Turians were hard to read, but she imagined he wasn't doing very well. He sat in somber silence mouthing the words to the song in-between Joker and her. Liara sighed, she wondered what he was thinking.

It was an Earth custom to wear black to funerals, though those closest to her had worn her favorite colors. White was her favorite, but she had always like black, red, and white together. Her armor was always that color combo, so Liara had found a dress to match it. She had fidgeted with it, wanting to look her best. She didn't know why it mattered, Shepard wouldn't care, but the business she had after the funeral was making her nervous so she had focused on her appearance to distract herself. Something big was happening with the Shadow Broker and Liara was determined to stay on top of it. She just had to get through this. The song ended, and Anderson stood up, time for his speech. Liara watched him closely, needing to focus so she wouldn't cry. She had refused to cry. Tears profited nothing, but as Anderson's voice crackled with sorrow Liara felt her resolve breaking.

oOo

Kaidan bowed his head in regret. He should have waited before he evacuated the Normandy. He should have known that Joker would be hard headed. He should have known that Shepard wouldn't leave till everyone was safe. Why was he such an idiot? Why did he run away like a coward? If he had stayed maybe he could have done something. Maybe he could have saved Shepard… Maybe.

He cringed as he listened to Anderson speak. He spoke of her bravery, of her kindness and compassion. Lane was all those things and more. He had felt something for her. He had wished on many a lonely nights on the Normandy that she was in his arms, close and his. He wished that now more than ever. She never paid his advances any attention. It was like she was completely unaware that he was interested, or maybe that was her way of letting him down gently. He didn't know, and now… He never would. The galaxy was lesser for the loss of Commander Shepard, and Kaidan felt less of a man for not being there to save her.

oOo

Dr. Chakwas held up a tissue to her eyes, catching her spilling tears. She still couldn't believe it. In fact, she had refused to believe it at first. Nothing could take down Commander Lane Shepard. She was the toughest person the doctor had ever met. She was indestructible or so she had seemed. Chakwas had learned over time that that wasn't the case. There were many times when Shepard would come to her late at night with an injury she had acquired during that day. She never let any of the crew see if it was possible. Chakwas was impressed and annoyed with her strength but right now she just wished she was here: being the stubborn, strong, and relentless Lanie she had grown to love like a daughter.

oOo

Anderson let his eyes drift over the crowd as he sat down, an instrumental song starting to play. The crowd was larger than he had expected. He knew Lane had done some good out there that demanded respect, but he also knew she had ruffled some feathers. He loved how Lane was never afraid to do the right thing even if it meant pissing people off. That bit always made his smile.

His eyes fell to a blonde woman with striking blue eyes in the back. Recognition flashed in his mind. He was surprised to see her here, of all people. Perhaps Abigail had forgiven Shepard, or maybe she was here to set the place on fire. Either way, Anderson was shocked. His eyes floated back to the front row, back to the people that meant the most to Shepard. It was an odd bunch, full of clashing personalities and distinct differences, yet… they all worked together well and all respected Lane, even cared for her. He was thankful for that. Lane had lived a life full of regret and sorrow. She carried her failures on her shoulders, never asking for help. When she lost her family on Mindoir the unit on Tuchunka much later, a normal person would have been buried under the stress and survivor's guilt. Lane was different. She rose above it, remembering, but never letting it shape her. This crew in front of him meant the world to her. Each of them was dear to her and he saw their pain as plain as day.

It broke is heart.

Dr. Chakwas was crying while Liara was still trying to hold it together. Joker was holding Tali close as she wept. Anderson knew he felt guilty. He was too hard on himself. Anderson knew that Lane wouldn't hesitate to do the same thing over again if given the chance. He just wished that Jeff wouldn't put this all on himself. He was a good kid. So was Tali. She was a credit to her species, but she was young and soft hearted. Anderson felt the healing process would take some time with her. The same would go for Kaidan. The poor sot thought he was in love with Shepard. Anderson knew better. He wasn't in love with Lane: he was in love with the version of her he had in his head. And he didn't deserve her anyway. He was a good kid, but he wasn't the one for Lane.

Anderson's eyes finally fell to the one who was. Garrus was sitting beside Joker. He still hadn't shed one tear. Anderson felt the worst for him. He imagined losing a best friend felt like the whole galaxy falling down around you. He had decided against telling him how Lane truly felt about him. Missed opportunities would haunt him for forever, and he didn't want that for Garrus. He still wasn't sure if Lane had even realized her feelings for the turian, but Anderson had picked up on them right away. Lane was easy to read, if you knew the language. He sighed sadly, I guess we'll never know what could have been.

Lane was gone. And everything she had accomplished would be forgotten, or at least the important things would. The Reapers were coming, and without Shepard, the task of warning and preparing everyone had fallen to him. It was a heavy burden, but Anderson would carry it proudly. He could at least do that for Lane. He would do that for Lane.

Well I won't back down. No I'll stand my ground.

Anderson sang the words in his head with new meaning. Commander Lane Shepard would not be forgotten, and he vowed that the galaxy would be ready when the Reapers came… No matter what.

If only people would listen…