A/N: Sooo close to the end. This could be an ending, but I have a little wrap up planned, for when I can get to it. As usual, I live for your comments! Have a great rest of the weekend, you beautiful people.

7.

Sabine picked up Ezra's lightsaber in her hands, her fingers clutching the ridged metal. "Oh, Ezra…no," she whispered, pulling the weapon into her chest and bowing her head.

"Sabine…" Zeb began.

She didn't reply.

Zeb and Hera shared a look as Hera swept up her son in her arms. Caleb's eyes were large as he glanced from his mother to Zeb.

"Ezra gone?" the little boy asked, worry in his eyes. "Mama—"

"I'm going after him." Sabine said after a moment, reaching up to wipe at her eyes. She let out a shaky sigh, talking almost to herself. "If he's done fighting...I can work with that. We'll find a quiet corner of the galaxy and wait this out until…until he's okay again or the Empire is defeated. Whatever he needs, but I'm not letting him go. No karking way." She ran a hand through her hair.

"Mama, where is Ezra?" Caleb asked, looking around and growing more distressed by the moment.

"Any ideas where he's gone?" Hera asked, patting Caleb's back soothingly. He began to cry, but the adults around him were too distracted to pay attention.

"I planted a long-range tracker after last time." Sabine said. "It would help if we knew the vector he left on."

"I'll go comm and see if he's taken a ship."

All of a sudden, the plastic container of art supplies on Sabine's shelf exploded. They all jumped as a shudder ran through the room, upending several other storage containers.

"I didn't mean to…" Caleb buried his face against Hera's shoulder and sobbed.

She rubbed his back, a crease of worry on her forehead. "It's okay sweetheart." She said, rocking him gently.

"No…no…Not okay for Ezra," he mumbled into her shoulder.

Sabine's chin trembled as she looked at him. Hera knew it was time to get Caleb out of here. "Give me a minute to talk to flight. Then you'll at least have an idea of where to start." She carried her crying son out of the room, his face still buried in her shoulder.

"Kit." Zeb came over and placed a hand on her shoulder. When she leaned in, he wrapped both arms around her and they remained that way for long moments.

"Ezra left his saber. Kanan said a Jedi's weapon is their life." She mumbled into his chest. When she was able, she glanced up into Zeb's green eyes, unable to ask the unutterable.

"He left it here because he trusts you, Sabine. Not…it's not what you think." Zeb shook his head. Surely Ezra wouldn't give up like that, he hoped.

Sabine nodded miserably. "I should have known she really got to him. That he was crashing again."

"No. You couldn't have known that. Ezra's gone to work something out in his mind." Zeb laid a hand on her hair and smoothed it down as she clung to him. "That has to be what this is."

Zeb held her loosely until they both heard Hera and Caleb coming. Sabine wiped at her face and looked up when they entered. "All ships are accounted for," Hera said. "If he left Hoth, he must have stowed away on one of three flights in the past few hours."

"Not here anymore," Caleb muttered, eyes far away.

Sabine's eyes landed on him and she came forward to cradle the boy in her arms. "You mean he's not on the Ghost or he's not on the planet?" she asked, wondering if the boy could really know. He'd seem to know when his mother had been back on the planet before.

"Gone long way away." Caleb said, leaning into Sabine at her gentle soothing touch on his back. "Find Ezra, Bean." There was a sniffle and the little boy began sucking his thumb.

"I will, little cub." She hugged him tightly, then handed him back to Hera. What would happen to Caleb if Ezra were truly gone? She refused to think of it. "Okay, where were the flights to?"

"Tamyal, Garel and Sullust."

"I'll check them out in that order. Can I take the Phantom?"

Hera nodded. "Bring him back to us," she leaned in and hugged Sabine with her free arm.

As Ezra slept, he dreamed a memory.

"So, what uh…what about you and Hera?"

Kanan raised an eyebrow at the kid as he continued working on the Ghost's atmospheric thrusters. "What about me and Hera?"

Ezra fiddled with the Harris wrench in his hand. "You know. What you told me about the Jedi Order and attachments…how does that fit with you and Hera? You're obviously…a um…a couple."

"Hera and I are…" Kanan frowned and held out his hand. "Gimme the wrench."

"I'm not trying to pry…I just…wondered." Ezra handed the wrench over, taking back the small mallet Kanan had been holding.

Kanan didn't speak for a minute as he retightened the bolts on the thruster. "Okay. This last one's done." He came out from behind the engine component and tossed the wrench at Ezra. "Catch." He said, after Ezra had already slowed its movement with the Force and caught it. "Hey, look at you, kid. You're getting quicker…" His tone was affectionate, and as if he were trying to punctuate it, he ruffled Ezra's hair.

"You're stalling." Ezra said, with sudden understanding.

His enigmatic teacher raised an eyebrow again. "It's complicated, Ezra. C'mon. Let's get some air."

They'd been in the stuffy engine room, but together they climbed down into the cargo bay and sat on the ramp, as a late summer breeze swept up into the ship. They had been parked out on Lothal's grassland, not too far from the tower where Kanan had first offered to be Ezra's teacher. Hera was gone to the city with Sabine and Zeb, which meant they had time to talk alone.

Ezra waited to see if his master would say any more. In the past year, he'd really been trying to devote himself to his studies and being the best Padawan he could be. Kanan was a good teacher and he'd steadily guided Ezra to becoming what Kanan referred to as a better version of himself. The Jedi had never failed to answer a question Ezra had, even if the answer was that he didn't know himself. So, he waited-reminding himself that patience was a Jedi virtue.

"Okay. I'm going to be honest with you, like always," Kanan began, watching the wind play over the dry yellow-green grass outside. "In the temple, we were taught that attachments were forbidden. Attachments open you up to the fear of loss, and fear leads to all kinds of problems for a Jedi. It's one of the things that a Jedi has to work very hard to deal with. I don't say conquer because it's a constant battle."

Ezra nodded.

"So…I spent a long time alone. After…after the Jedi were murdered, I didn't really have anyone. I knew being close to me could mean death, so I pushed away anyone who got too close." He thought a moment, fixing his eyes on a rock formation some ways away. "But it was a bad way for me to live, and I didn't handle my grief well. I…spent most of my time moving from place to place, working jobs here and there and drinking away all my money." He glanced over at Ezra. "I didn't care what happened to me—whether I lived or died. Several times…I almost put an end to it."

Ezra's mouth was agape. He wanted to ask exactly what Kanan meant but was afraid of the answer. "So, what happened?"

"What happened? I met Hera." Kanan shrugged. "And I…found my path again. I became…something better. Hera made me a better version of myself. Closer to who I might have been if the Jedi hadn't been destroyed. That's why I fell in love with her."

"So, you're saying that Hera was good for you."

"Yeah, kid. She was. She saved me."

"Then maybe the Jedi were wrong. How can loving someone be bad?" Ezra said, thinking about how he felt about Sabine. Sure, she still saw him as an awkward street rat, but he couldn't help hoping that that might change one day.

"The Jedi were just cautious. Love can be bad when you fear losing someone more than doing the right thing. A Jedi is supposed to feel love, Ezra. Caring and compassion for others are some of a good Jedi's best qualities. But a possessive kind of love…no. That kind of love can lead to the dark side. As far as I can tell…you have to hold on to those you love, but be ready to give them up for the greater good, if need be."

"What does that mean?" Ezra asked.

Kanan's eyes drifted far away for a moment and his voice changed. "I can't explain it. It's just a feeling I have about letting go. Holding on at the same time, but having to let…go…" His voice softened. "That's going to be the hard part."

"Kanan?" Ezra reached over and touched his arm. "You okay?"

Kanan looked at him blankly, then blinked a few times. "Yeah…sorry. There was something I was trying to remember." He seemed to stare out into the Lothalian grassland, getting his thoughts back together. "Anyway, never mind that...

"What it comes down to is this. As much as I believe in following the Jedi's teachings, I believe that you and I are supposed to forge our own path. The Force led me to Hera just as much as it led me to you—so I believe we're meant to be where we are." Kanan then glanced sidelong at Ezra with a smile. "And in the future, if you decide that someone means as much to you as Hera does to me, then you'll know how to handle things…if you ever have to love someone enough to let go."

"Kanan?" Ezra woke in an unfamiliar bed, his head throbbing. When he realized he was not on Lothal, with his long dead master, he turned over and curled into himself, pulling the blanket over his cold body.

The pain that flashed in his shoulder and arm from the movement reminded him of the lightsaber fight with the darksider. As he turned his attention to the Force, he found the sluggish thickness of the dark side still wrapping him firmly in its embrace.

It all came back quickly. He remembered running after the conversation between Hera and Zeb. The pain medication he'd been given made him woozy, but he was thinking well enough to realize that both Hera and Zeb now knew about the incident with the glitteryll. And again, probably for the last time, Hera had refused to allow Ezra to help Caleb with his growing abilities with the Force. It was then that the sinuous voice of the darksider had begun to weave its way into his mind.

You will fall and take the ones you love down with you.

The dark side eats at you.

You believe its truth.

The whispering in his mind had almost broadcasted itself to Caleb before Ezra threw up his strongest shields. Head pounding, he'd left the Ghost at almost a run, trying to put as much space between himself and the ones he loved. He loved them enough to let them go.

He'd stowed away in the cargo bay of a ship that was readying itself for takeoff. During the departure from Hoth's atmosphere and their entry to hyperspace, he had remained crouched behind shipping crates, falling into an uneasy sleep off and on as the journey continued. When they'd landed at the spaceport, Ezra had woken up and darted out of the cargo bay before they had even known he was there.

He wasn't surprised when he saw it was Garel they'd landed on.

Renting a room in a filthy flophouse yesterday, he'd paced it for hours, trying to walk off the frantic anxiety ripping him into pieces. Sleeping and meditating had been futile. When he'd left Hoth, he hadn't been thinking of where he would end up, or even what it might do to Sabine, Zeb, Hera for him to just take off. But now, his mind turned to that and guilt chewed at him. He'd run because he was afraid of hurting them, of exposing them to the darkness that seemed to be growing inside him. But now he saw it for what it was. Cowardice. He'd deserted Sabine without a word. He'd run from his family, because he'd been afraid of facing the darkness he had been grappling with ever since Kanan's death. They wouldn't be likely to forgive him this time and maybe they really were better off without him. In fact, as the hours wore on, he became more convinced this was for the best as the voice of the dark side hammered at him.

Before dusk fell on the planet, he'd given in to his darker impulses and gone out drinking.

The way the dark side was now squeezing the air from him, he knew he'd do the same tonight as well.

Sabine set the Phantom down in the spaceport. "Okay, Chop. Track the transponder." It was early evening on Garel, and Sabine didn't expect to be here long. She hadn't found him on the first planet, but she'd picked up the faint ding of the tracker when they hit Garel. As soon as she was able to nab Ezra, she was dragging his rear end back home, conscious or unconscious. Then they would figure out what needed to be done, whether it meant more communication between the two of them or foregoing the rebellion altogether to wait it out in some lonely part of the galaxy.

She closed her eyes and shook her head sadly. Ezra had been through so much, that it was understandable if he couldn't keep going. He'd been fighting since being a teenager, and everyone knew the toll of combat on soldiers. Everyone had a limit when they'd seen or been through too much. If it was that time for Ezra, then her place was with him.

Chopper began to squawk that he found the signal three blocks away from the spaceport.

She laid her hand on his dome. "Thank you, Chop. Stay with the ship, okay?"

Chopper warbled, asking her to be sure and bring the kid Jedi back.

"Aww, keep that up and I'll think you actually like him."

Chopper stated that he wouldn't go that far. Then he said something that surprised Sabine—he said that he had promised KananJarrus to watch out for the kid.

"Ch-Chopper? When did that happen?"

Chopper replied that it was right before the battle of Lothal. KananJarrus made him promise to look after them all, especially Hera and Ezra. Sabine bowed her head. Had Kanan known what was going to happen to him before he entered that cave with the Loth-wolves? She took a deep breath, steadying herself, before looking up at Chopper's photoreceptor.

"Chopper, I know Kanan would be proud of the job you've done."

Chopper warbled and rocked back and forth on his struts at the praise. He said that looking after Hera, Ezra and the rest of them was a full-time job and they were karking lucky that he was up for the task.

She gave him a gentle pat on the dome. "We are. I'll be back."

She followed the signal, her stomach in knots. Would she find Ezra in a bar, or somewhere worse? She found herself wondering what kind of shape he'd be in. If he was on spice, she would kill him later, once she got him home.

The signal led her to a bar with a metal door and bars on the one window in front of her. Trailing her hand reassuringly over the grip of a Westar, she pulled the door and entered.

It was not a loud place, but it was dark and crowded. She glared at the bouncer checking her out by the door, and moved on inside.

Couples were on the small dance floor, bodies mashed against each other as they swayed to the beat. The hardcore drinkers were at the bar and small tables toward the back of the place. Sabine's eyes scanned the room and she saw nothing. She briefly considered asking the bartender about Ezra, but then decided to do a circuit of the place first. No use in drawing attention to him unnecessarily.

She started along the wall near the bar and worked her way around to the opposite wall when she saw him. He was sitting alone in a booth. There was a bottle and an unused glass in front of him; as she watched, he reached for the bottle of liquor, turned it up and swallowed a big mouthful, foregoing the glass.

She went to him, her heart hammering in her chest. "Ezra."

He looked up with confusion. He was pale, with dark smudges under his eyes that spoke to his utter exhaustion. She could see the pain on his face, and with relief, she realized that he was not high on glitteryll. There was too much emotion in his blue eyes for that. So, just drunk then, she thought. She could deal with that.

She held out her hand to him. "Come on."

Ezra closed his eyes and pressed his eyelids with the fingers of one hand. "Sabine. You should just leave me here. I don't deserve-"

She cut him off with a touch on his shoulder. "Ezra, stop. Don't think about it, just come home with me." Slowly, she held out a hand to him again.

She stilled her breath as long moments passed, until he took her hand. When he stood up, she saw he wasn't just drunk, but very drunk. He staggered, and she put an arm around his shoulder to steady him.

"Okay," she nodded. "Let's go."

Ezra followed her outside, and she kept a death grip on his hand as she led him back to the Phantom. They entered the ship and for once, Chopper was silent, thank the Force.

Once inside, Ezra slid down the wall to sit on the floor. When Sabine locked the ramp, she called for clearance to leave, received it, and programmed the Phantom for the series of jumps that would lead home. She did not want to give Ezra a chance to leave again.

When they hit hyperspace, she turned back to him. He was sitting in a meditation position-his head was down and his eyes were closed. When she noticed him shiver, she quietly grabbed a blanket and brought it over.

She knelt and got his attention by placing her hands on both sides of his face and pulling up his gaze to hers. He looked as if he hadn't slept well in a long time, even though he'd been gone only a day and a half this time. "What am I going to do with you?" she asked in a soft voice no louder than a whisper as her thumbs smoothed over his cheeks.

Slowly, he reached up and grabbed her hands in his. His fingers were cold. "Drop me on the nearest asteroid." He snorted derisively, then grew sad. "I'm sorry, Sabine," he looked away, avoiding her eyes.

"No. Don't be. You need to rest before we talk, Ezra." She brushed his shoulder with her hand. "I know you're tired. It's not that comfortable, but lay down a while and sleep it off." She gave him the blanket and folded her jacket into a rectangle for him to lay under his head. Once she had him settled, she sat beside him, back against the wall and rubbed his shoulder lightly until it seemed that he drifted off.

Sabine let out a heavy sigh. All the stress and anxiety over Ezra welled up and she closed her eyes tightly. This was a mess. Her elbows rested on her knees that were pulled up toward her chest and she ran her hands through her hair and sighed again, rubbing her scalp. Her head ached as much as her heart. Was there something else she could be doing for him? How badly had she screwed this up?

"It wasn't you."

She looked over at Ezra with surprise. His heavily-lidded blue eyes were regarding her—he had read her emotions. Kriff. "Ezra. You're supposed to be sleeping, Cyare."

"No." The words came out with effort, as if he was ripping them out of himself unwillingly. "The…the dark sider. Sh-she got to me, and I started thinking about what she said and then I panicked. It's the dark side—it crawled inside me when she said I would end up hurting all of you and…I can't get free of it, B-bean." A tear slipped down his face and soaked into her coat. He wiped at his cheek furiously. "I tried, but I…"

That was it. She slid down so that they were both lying on the floor of the Phantom, facing each other. "You will get free of it. But we'll do it together. If it means leaving the Rebellion, fine. If it means we find some corner of the galaxy to wait this thing out…then fine. But you can't run from your family. I know you have to protect all of us; it's in a Jedi's DNA or something, but we have to protect you too." She looked into his blue eyes and thought she could see a fragile hope growing there. "Okay?" she asked him.

He nodded. She took his hands in her own and pulled them to her heart.

"I'd do anything for you. Promise that you'll talk to me if you're struggling like this."

"I promise." Ezra said in a whisper.

"Good. Break your promise to me and I'll kick your ass, Ezra Bridger," she said softly, "Force or no Force. You know that right?"

"Yeah. I do." He smiled, a pale version of his usual grin, but seeing it made her heart feel better.

"Good. We'll be in hyperspace for a while—so just sleep it off. I'll be here when you wake up." There was a long period of silence between them, and she thought he'd fallen asleep as she gazed at his face in the glow cast by the Phantom's instrument panel.

"Sure you don't wanna drop me off on the closest asteroid? Last chance, Bean…" Ezra mumbled, his voice becoming thick with sleep as he draped an arm over her waist.

"Shut up," she murmured affectionately, running her hand over his hair. It had been a few weeks since he'd cut it and it was getting longer, softening his features and making him look more like the Ezra she used to know. The Ezra before Kanan had died. She frowned as she realized she'd do anything to get that Ezra back. "Now go to sleep, okay?"

There was an unintelligible murmur from him, and then he was asleep for good. Not long after, she fell asleep as well, her head on his shoulder.

Sabine had awoken and was checking the navicomputer when she glanced over and saw that Ezra was awake. He was sitting up and yawning.

"We'll be done with this last jump in just a minute." Sabine said.

Ezra nodded, getting up off the floor and folding up the blanket they had used. He took Sabine's coat and brought it to her, holding it as she slipped her arms into it. Then he sat beside her in the copilot's seat, looking out at the starlines.

"Sabine…I…" Ezra began, not exactly knowing what to say, but knowing he needed to say something.

She turned to him and before he could look up, she was kissing him—one hand on his shirt, pulling him in, while the other brushed the side of his face. He gave in to the sensation of it, and wrapped his arms around her. Before he knew what was happening, the dark thoughts that had been stalking him were not wrapped around his soul quite as tightly as before. When she finally ended the kiss and they pulled apart fall enough to look into each other's eyes, he wasn't thinking about anything but the love flowing from her Force signature.

"I love you," he whispered while catching his breath.

"If you mean that, don't you ever, ever think about leaving without me again," she said, her hand still twisted in his shirt. "Stop closing me out. If you need to leave…to have some time away from this karking mess we're in, that's fine, but I go with you." She waited for a nod from him, then went on. "You can lean on me, Ezra—I won't break."

Ezra started to say something, to explain or make an excuse, but the fire in her amber eyes made him think better of it, so he simply nodded again.

They were interrupted by the ship dropping out of hyperspace. Immediately after, there was a beep from the comm requesting landing codes. Sabine supplied them as the Phantom sailed closer and closer to the ice ball they called home.

During the approach, Sabine's personal comm beeped. It was Hera.

"Sabine? Is he…" She left the unasked question hanging in the air between them.

"Ezra's with me." Sabine said softly. "I brought him home."