Disclaimer: I own nothing of Code Geass, nor of Guilty Gear, nor to a lesser extent, BlazBlue. I do own this story, and all the inspirations along with it. And of course, the brain where the ideas came from.
Author's note: Decided to split chapter into two, other will come later. This is the beginning, Kallen-centric part.
The letter had said, in big, blocky letters: "COME ALONE TO NERIMA COMPLEX, AFTER 1 PM, WE WILL FIND YOU." She would have tossed it back onto the pile of the other mysterious and annoying-as-fuck letters she'd been receiving all year, when something had fallen out.
It was a picture of her mother.
A rage clouded by a palpable fear had gripped her then, and she had no choice but to pack the few self-defense glyphed ars she had and her trusty knife into her clothes, bid her "customary" farewell to Lady Stadtfeld and then phoned the President in a crisp tone. She vowed to get to the bottom of this creepy, harrassment affair before sun's end.
On the way down the stairs of her house, she caught a glimpse of the maid, watering the indoor plants in the entrance hall. When it turned to greet her, she looked away and made her quick exit out the door.
It was because of shit like this that she could never be able to live without trepidation. Why she always shied away from anyone's contact, and the reason why she always suspicously looked over her shoulder. Why she could never, ever aspire to be anything more than Kallen Kouzuki, or Kallen Stadtfeld – officially.
"Congrats, Kouzuki-san! This is a good opportunity for you!" that Poster Boy had said, Ashford Academy's Japanese Adonis. They had just received a pitch from the Order representative who'd come to the Academy, and although the phrasing was equivocal, she was certain she had been scouted by the Order for the Gear affair.
"Yeah...kinda..." she'd replied noncommitantly, standing a bit away from the boy, whose face was positively aglow with delight. Kururugi certainly had a reason to be glad, she'd heard offhand how he'd always vowed to be a Knight when he graduated.
Her, on the other hand, could not afford to be happy. Quite on the contrary, she was afraid. Afraid that there was some other, more sinister reason for the Order calling her out, afraid that her secret had been found out when she'd been hospitalized (how could she have been so stupid?), terrified that she would have to go out guns-blazing.
"What's wrong Kouzuki-san? Are you feeling alright?"
"No, godamnit," she replied to a memory Suzaku, waving away the recollection as she got off the train towards the border complex of Nerima. It was close to the Dead Zones right outside the Preserve, where nothing grew and everything died a slow death.
She looked down at the crowds below the terminal, and she automatically drew her coat around herself, shuffling her feet on the pavement. She looked at the giant clock above the ticket stand; she was a bit late. But who the hell cared?
The sheer number of people: Britannians, Europeans, Chinese and a smatter of Eleven, made for an unfavorable setting for a confrontation. It was risky, but she would have to move to another, less crowded part of the Complex. She looked over her shoulder at every point and junction, hoping to catch a glimpse of a distinctive face. This whole tension was annoying, she needed an outlet to release it. Fuck it!
She ran.
It was unmistakable: as she steadily reached the seedier districts, she felt herself being pursued by the scrutiny of many gazes, and this time she knew her paranoia hadn't just been set off. She gripped her wrist with her other hand, remembering the tutorials that Lamperouge boy had given the council on precasting ars. She didn't care whether the more observant of the passersby about her observed the flux of seithr that surrounded her as she ran by.
She ducked into an ally and broke into a full-blown dash. The wind howled in her ears as she exerted, vaulting over a fallen street sign and a six-foot wire fence. After she landed, she quickly looked behind, and saw a solitary figure on the alley behind her before it instantly disappeared.
I got you now, assholes. She took to the roofs, shimmying quickly up on a sakuradite feed-pipe. When she reached the top, she looked around, seeing taller buildings towards the outskirts. There?
She thanked her legacy, the vestiges of Japanese blood from her mother's side as she kicked off into the air, nearly flying through the wind as she made for the buildings. She heard the sounds of her pursuers: they were close.
Right before attempting to scale the short skyscraper, she changed her mind and jumped down, bracing herself into a roll in the alley. The chatter of people here was far more muted than the center, where they huddled in clumps and groups. She stretched her arms on her sockets, turning to traverse through the alleys.
"Yo." She literally bumped into a man, and she instantly cursed, unleashing the fireball held in her hand. The ars engulfed the man, who yelled in surprise, and she was about to pull out the knife from her leg when she felt a hand on her wrist, wrenching it up, and another fastening itself on her other hand.
"Bastards-" she gritted her teeth and kicked, managing to knock the man she'd burned away.
"We would appreciate it if you didn't struggle. We wouldn't want to have come this far just to have to kill you." A man's polite voice said from behind. She looked behind, seeing a harmless-looking face with Japanese features before she felt herself being carried through the air, her feet kicking furiously below her.
"What the hell's your deal, you creeps?" she shouted, after she found her arms sealed together by a strong binding ars. The group of her tormentors stood before her, in a semi-circle. "When I get out out of this-"
The man she'd seen from behind came forward, holding his hands out placatingly. He was slight of build and had a head of curly, black hair. "We mean you no harm. We would like to apologize for the methods we used, truly, I apologize," the man bowed at the waist, which did not appease Kallen one bit.
"If you're truly that sorry, then stay the hell away from now on! What do you even want from me?"
"Well, to put it this way, Kallen-" the man began.
"Don't be so friendly!"
"-Kouzuki-san... I apologize for my indiscretion. To be fair, my name is Kaname Ohgi, though you may call me Ohgi," he amended.
"Hey, 'Ohgi'. Can you hurry the hell up? The Order sweep's in fifteen!" said the man whom she'd burned from the side, stamping his feet impatiently. "Let's just grab the bitch and head Outside!"
Kaname paused, looking very much like an indecisive man, and he was preempted by the one who'd urged him, who approached Kallen with a pissed-off face: "I won't ever forget you burning me up just like that, half-breed. Just be grateful I don't maul your beautiful face in by the time this is over."
"I understand. Let's relocate for now, shall we Kouzuki-san? I promise to explain everything to you later." Kaname said, nodding to his companions who each disappeared from the rooftop in a burst of air.
"Come along, fresh meat. Nice and easy." She found her lips sealed, her last protests unable to be heard as she was hoisted up on the man's shoulder.
"Don't hurt her, Tamaki. She'll be part of our new family," warned Kaname chidingly.
"Yeah, yeah. Don't you worry, I'll take extremely good care of our 'flower Gear'. Hah! Did I just make a funny right there? Hahah!" the man named Tamaki grunted, and after flexing his knees, hurtled through the air, ignoring the muted sounds of a screaming Kallen who'd just had her worst fears realized.
)()()()()()()()(
The white-and-gold colored Knightmare, elaborate, but streamlined in design, stood like a silent sentinel in the deserted hangar. The Earl Asplund, newly wakened, stood before it, looking at the Frame with a hungry, rapt light in his eye.
"Sir, here are the collated results from the Seventh Overseas Brigade." Cecile Croomy said from behind, handing the Earl a datapad. His eyes skimmed through the results impatiently, before thrusting it back at her.
"Is that by any chance, Gottwald's troupe of over-glorified misfits? Weak." spat Lloyd, turning back to regard his greatest creation. "To think the 'Valorous Brigade' has such weak ars resonance, it's not even funny! How can they protect us all with below-average power! It doesn't make sense! It almost makes me wish we were of the Union or the Federation. Defecting seems attractive- wait, It's not that I'm planning to!" he shouted, for the benefit of Cecile who frowned at him and nobody else in particular. "All hail Britannia!"
"Lloyd, do you think it's time to turn to your plan C?" said Cecile after an awkward pause, walking up to stand beside him. "Unless you plan on relocating the project to the mainland, that is."
.
"Hmm," Lloyd seemed to be mulling a thought over, tapping a finger on his chin. "Yes, it was very disappointing to find that even Britannia's finest aren't worthy of using my magnum opus. Perhaps...it really is time to look at the Order."
"They will be demanding research data in return." remarked Cecile in a slightly warning tone. Although the Order members stationed in the Eleventh Sacred Preserve were mostly Britannian, they were still officially "neutral" in terms of military standing, and neutral was halfway between an enemy and being of the genuine force, in the eyes of the Britannian hierarchy. "We will have to clear it with the Prince..."
"We do have teaching places here, right?" said the Earl suddenly.
"Pardon? Teaching places?" Cecile asked.
"You know, academies, grand schools, institutes and all that," he continued, murmuring an ars to send the Knightmare into suspension. "We'll start with the bottom rung. That is where the Order mostly recruits their newer members, if I'm remembering it correctly. If we're lucky, we'll find someone promising who's still officially Britannian."
"Well, that'll be a gamble, sir..." Cecile murmured reluctantly.
"Well, we've got to do something." He clenched his fist dramatically, staring at his creation with fervent devotion. "We can't have my Lancelot sit here merely gathering dust! No siree! Don't you worry, my baby. We'll find a Devicer for you yet!"
)()()()()()()()(
Kallen found herself being taken out and away from Nerima, away from the powerful shield draped across the Preserve. They were taking her to the Dead Zones.
Barely livable, the Dead Zones were vast expanses of land teeming with centuries-old radioactive and magical fallout. They were ugly pockmarks on the once beautiful and proud land of Old Japan, evidence of the brutal conflict which had raped the land of its beauty. The only ones who dared venture here were Order soldiers sent to patrol the wastes for signs of dangerous monsters, enterprising scavengers seeking to reap a profit in relics, suicidal bandits, or Gears.
They carried her into the middle of a grove of dead, bare-bitten trees, the winds howling around them without abandon. A red-yellowish hue filled the landscape around her as she fought to hold her breath in response to the environment.
"Release the bonds," came Ohgi's voice, and she felt the ars dissipate from her. Even with the binding freed from her, she was still hesitant to speak or attack. She remembered well the horror stories of casting any kind of ars in a place where the seithr ran thick with the Beast's blood. She looked at her abductors, who had gathered into a semi-circle again.
"Now that we're settled, I'd like us to get into the heart of the matter, Kouzuki-san," began Ohgi courteously. "You must already have some idea of who we are, deep inside. You must've felt an instinct, yes?"
She looked away, bringing a hand to cover her face. "I don't want to fucking hear anything from you creeps."
"Kouzuki-san, you must realize the dire straits our race is being forced into. Servants all around, guinea pigs, cannon fodder for their wars. We are dwindling by the day, and in order for us as a race to survive, we will need the help of any free-willed Gear-
"Don't call me that!" Kallen screamed, punching the ground with her fist. She had unconsciously gathered some seithr to her for an ars. The resulting backlash from letting it go caused a burning sensation in her hand. "I'm not- ridiculous- half-assed attempt-"
"You can't deny who you are, Kallen. I admit, I was scared too when I found out. Fearing to be discovered, day by day, your every waking minute looking over your shoulder, jumping at the sight of any Order uniform," Kallen stared in shock at Ohgi. "I'm a half too, you know. So are the rest of the people here. Through various circumstances, we met each other, and so we've lived in support of one another. You don't have to be afraid anymore."
Kallen gasped as Kaname's features morphed, the flesh melting as if from an extreme heat to change into blocky, rock-faced thing with cragged, grey shoulders. It extended a wrinkled, stone hand to her. She shook her head, staring with fascinated horror at the hand.
"You're showing off your hand right now? I thought you'd do that later when she's agreed to come with us," said the coarse voice of Tamaki.
"We have to show that we trust her so she can do the same for us," Ohgi argued. "Isn't that right...Kallen? We're not asking you to fight for or with us. We only want you to finally accept yourself, so that you will never have to be afraid of anything, ever again. So that you'll finally see, with new eyes, what the world really looks like. Won't you come?"
Yes. To her eternal shame, Kallen was a half, bearing the hateful cells of a Gear in her body.
She had learned about it from the very start, when she'd looked up at her mother and thought: "Now that is my mother, and this is what I am." It sat at the edge of her consciousness as she grew, biting at her when she found out that it was a very bad thing to acknowledge oneself as a Gear. Her "father" had explained it carefully, with a cramped smile on his face as he took her mother and herself into a room, justifying to her how he'd taken his helpless, unexpressive mother in the night, spawning a thing that should not have been, but which he loved all the same as his own.
She hated him. And she hated her, that Gear masquerading as a maid, almost lifeless and robotic in manner. The warmth she had felt while being cuddled grew into a simmering resentment that would not pass, that would always flare up whenever the thing spoke or paid attention to her. After all, it was a wretched, hideous thing, to be a Gear, a thing incapable of caring or love. How could a Gear have expressed love?
If it weren't for
She sometimes wished she had never been born, but no, that was not in Kallen's nature to be suicidal. She hated living, but she wanted to continue, all the same. A paradoxical existence that came to a head on this day, when the source of all the harrassment letters threatening to reveal her secret came to offer her sanctuary.
"...I don't want to die," Kallen whispered forlornly, slumped on the ground like a helpless child. "But also, I don't want to be found out. It's scary. "
"That's why we're here, Kallen. I might have given you a speech about our race, but we will only have you fight for us when you are ready and willing. What we need to know is if you've accepted it – accepted us."
Kallen Kouzuki nodded, taking Ohgi's hand.
It felt as if a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders from that day. It didn't erase her worries, but it still felt great. They had sent her home, after detailing to her the secret passwords and signals that would be used to contact her for the randomly scheduled meetings. She should continue, no, Ohgi encouraged it above Tamaki's ramblings, her studies at the Academy, and maybe even consider taking up the apprenticeship in the Order, if she was willing. Being a spy was an option for their group, if she was willing.
She still would not forgive her. When she came home, she immediately rushed to her room, dodging the greetings from behind as if they were bullets.
Even the normally unbearable activities of the Student Council seemed trivial now, a way to pass the time among the normal people. There was little hint of the old fear, like when she handed in her answer to the representative, along with Suzaku.
"Further consideration?" Rivalz gasped, astonished that anyone wouldn't jump at the chance to become a part of the (in his eyes) glorious Order. "Why do the lucky ones get to be incomprehensible?"
This elicited a retort from Shirley, followed by an appeasing word by Suzaku.
"I'm glad," Milly told her, when the wordy back-and-forth subsided and everyone went back to work. "I was worried ever since you entered the council, but... It seems you straightened out whatever it is that was bothering you. Here's looking to another year, Kallen Kouzuki!"
Kallen gave a soft smile after a pause, fading quickly as the arctic, overbearing presence of Lelouch Lamperouge entered the room.
The youth blinked when their eyes crossed, and Kallen thought it seemed he was surprised to see her, as if she'd just popped into her field of vision. Her stomach squirmed, the boy was notoriously sharp she was told, but the moment quickly passed, and Lelouch paid no more attention to him than Rivalz, who was egging him on to trade an insult with his Knight friend.
There were many meetings. In them, Kallen learned of the dealings of the underground Gears.
"There're many of us folks running around without the Order knowin'," Tamaki had been tasked to explain, "We just don't let 'em know, and they're content to let us go like that. It's only the reckless ones who get caught and killed. Stupid bastards. That goes for you, if you just up and give in to your desire."
"Desire?"
"You ever go in your Gear form yet? No? You must've got some real spirit in ya, or you're as weak as you look. Ya see, when you finally get into it, ya know, TRANSFORM! Like that cartoon, you ever see that? ...Well, it's fine. When you're a Gear, you get this desire inside you. It grows, and grows until you can't take it anymore, and you have the urge to kill and destroy. And POW! We bust loose, kicking ass and taking names. But Ohgi figures, and I agree with the guy, that it's a stupid thing to do, especially when you're this close to the Order. You lose yourself, and you end up killed... Oi, Ohgi," Tamaki called out to the man, who was staring into the green bioluminous shield over the preserve, "The fresh meat hasn't got to her Gear form yet, is that fine with you? She could be a fuckin' spy!"
"No, I told you that we had her checked, didn't I?" Ohgi approached the two. He looked at Kallen kindly, "Though I won't mention the circumstances, she definitely has inherited the Gear cells – from her mother." She started, holding herself close after the revelation. "Guess you gotta trust us on that, Tamaki. I won't say anything further."
Tamaki scratched his head, visibly annoyed. "Well if you say it's fine, I won't argue. But hey, if you do end up betraying us, I'll tear you a new one, you hear?" he declared.
"Tamaki. Gaia has given her its protection since she accepted."
"Gaia?" asked Kallen, looking from Tamaki to Kaname. "Are you guys involved...with Gaia?"
Kaname closed his eyes briefly, and nodded. "Although we do not directly offer ourselves to them, we are still grateful for their aiding us Gears. I'm a member, but not everyone in this particular group is."
"You could say he's Gaia's spokesman in here," Tamaki remarked, finally having his fill of the new girl and left.
Gaia was a name known and feared world-wide as the primary terrorist organization, whose vow was the complete unification of humanity under the unhindered umbrella of magic. They encouraged free study of ars under its ranks, causing many forbidden practicioners to seek aid within the group, thereby allowing Gaia to unleash and successfully complete terrorist operations with little or no difficulty. Gears were known to be of primary interest of Gaia, for good reason.
To know that she would soon be involved with Gaia was an unbidden thought, and she didn't know what to feel about it. On the other hand, they offered an open arms to every man, magical creature or Gear, but on the other was its ruthless approach to magic, caring little for any who stood in their way.
Kallen took to staring at herself in the mirror. Soon, Ohgi had gently persuaded her to that effect, she would be shattering the reflected image. From underneath would emerge the real her, another self that wouldn't have to fear for anything any longer.
"Kallen, are you ready for this?" Ohgi stood in front of her, during their next meeting. They were in a farther place this time, standing on top of a barren hill the color of blood. After being lectured on the proper mindset during the first-time transformation, she was given the time to meditate.
"Yes, but..." Kallen looked to the side. "Why do I have to be...?"
"Naked?" Ohgi let a smile slip. "By the time you're transformed, you'll agree it's a useless thing to worry about. After all, that body will technically become your 'clothes' when you're with others like us. And Tamaki, stop staring you bastard."
"Hey, 'technically'," the man retorted, letting his index fingers draw quick curves through the air, "I'm still human, so it's fine if I decide to appreciate some fine meat."
"You're dead, motherfucker." Kallen muttered, now uncovering herself entirely and pointing at him unabashedly. "When I'm through with you-"
"Oh, bring it." A lecherous smile crossed the guy's face. "Along with your other...bits."
Kallen let out a snarl, and was about to jump after the man herself whe she was stopped by Ohgi's cough.
"Tamaki, that's enough. Let's start." he began the unlocking process, nodding for one of the female members to touch Kallen's bare body.
"Remember yourself, Kallen. It's important to never let go of yourself. Cast away the rest, but remember that Kallen Kouzuki is still here-"
"That your head's still screwed on tight-"
"Shut up, Tamaki. Always remember that. No matter how your body might reject it, let the changes flow through you, only remembering to be yourself. Protect your mind, but reject the body. Keep repeating that. I'm sure you'll do fine. Good luck.
"Now...begin!"
AN: Looking beyond, some things are just too necessary, even if they're sad, to change. I also changed the roles of the pre-Black Knight resistance to fit in here, as I wanted to keep the original character generation to a strict minimum. Please expect the same treatment of other characters moving forward. Thanks for reading!
Merlin Out.