Jashin's Child
Chapter 3: Feelings
Warnings for this chapter: child abuse
Dedication: This is for my most faithful reviewers HeartsNaruto, Itachis-Only and New account sign up taken name. Not only did you review to every chapter up until now, but you also inspired me to write this chapter faster than I thought I would ô.o
A/N: Hayho! Heh so the cliffie at the end of the previous chapter was better than I thought… the guess I got was wrong XD This chapter is once again filler, I hope you don't mind, but the next one will have a lot of plot, promise (has already planned everything till chapter 13… Not even halfway done O.O)
*Wild disclaimer appeared*
[Insert line here]
Kakuzu's POV:
The cold steel glinted golden in the torches' light, my breathing labored and the muscles of my arms tensed. It would have been easy. So easy. Just bring down the blade and pierce the heart or slice the throat, paint the pale skin crimson. But why wouldn't my hands budge? Why was my body frozen, unable to move? Was it that look? That fear in those magenta eyes that drew me in every time they met my gaze?
My breath caught in my throat, a steel glove tightly gripping my heart, freezing my core. Memories raced through my head, fast and random, crippling my will. Things I had buried deep down suddenly resurfaced, paralyzing me. Why? Why at that exact moment? Why with him? Never before had I hesitated before plunging my katana's blade into a heart, creating a massacre with my sacred weapon. Never before shown reluctance in setting an end to my opponent's pathetic lives.
A tremble travelled through my body, as if I was too cold despite the warmth the torches' flames brought, a fearful sensation chilling me to my bones. Without further thought I turned and ran, leaving the porcelain angel sprawled on the ground, confused.
I didn't have any problems finding my way out of the cave. Being used to labyrinths like that I had carefully stored the memory of the way out in my brain and it didn't take long until I finally breathed fresh air again, my lungs greedily taking in the oxygen, feeling as if I would have suffocated had I stayed any longer in that cave. The sun stood high, the gentle rays barely managing to break through the dense tangle of branches. A few birds sang their songs, their chirping happy as though nothing had happened, creating a false atmosphere of safety.
Shakily I made my way back to the village, leaving behind one of my biggest failures. When I eventually reached Hayabuza's house, my feet immediately led me to the room that was assigned to me, needing a quiet place to think. As soon as I was inside that little sanctuary I quickly closed the door and let myself fall onto the bed, burying my face in the cushion.
A sigh escaped my lips, my eyes closing in a vain attempt to relax. The thoughts still kept me captured, the long repressed memories attacking me like starved hyenas a piece of flesh. The walls seemed to come at me, making it hard to breathe. Nausea settled in the pit of my stomach and my balled fist painfully connected with the bedpost, the wood cracking under the force, splinters embedding themselves in my knuckles. Breathing hard, restlessly, I got up and left my room as quickly as I came, not being able to bear being inside any longer.
Yuu's paths were small and empty. Barely anyone was out, most having lunch with their family or being shopping at the market. Striding through the village, passing houses and some pedestrians I eventually reached the market place. It was like any other villages', a big square, stands randomly scattered across. Salesmen and saleswomen praised their goods, trying to bring their products to men. A particularly loud one caught my attention. The fat man's greasy black strands of hair falling about his fleshy face and beady pig eyes pleading for attention. His high pitched voice carried across the market, almost hurting in the ears.
But it wasn't his appearance that made me look, not even the man himself. It was the redheaded figure looking at the fish he sold. The aura of a monster clung to him and a powerful one at that. Without a second thought I approached the stand and stood next to the object of my attention. The shorter figure raised their head, mahogany eyes meeting my green ones. And suddenly I lost control, the memories fully taking over.
[Flashback]
A small boy sat crouched on the ground, the wall behind giving much needed comfort as the tall figure above him smiled evilly. Fist met flesh and a pained wail could be heard, tears silently staining the floor, blotches of blood splattering the brown dirt wall.
"Bastard!" "Monster!" "Die abnormality!"
Stones were thrown and insults spilled from snarling lips. The mob chased him, loved to torture him. His parents, the only sanctuary he ever had, left long ago and now he was alone in a village of enemies.
They hated him, indulged in his pain and desperate pleas. His cries for help went unnoticed and those who heard ignored. He didn't understand why. He didn't know how such a simple thing as the color of his eyes could make them loathe him. That question repeated in his head over and over, only to be answered decades later.
Why? Why? Why?
[End of flashback]
A hand on my shoulder brought me back, the silent brown eyes questioning as they stared up at me. The face was expressionless, but the mahogany orbs spoke of worry. 'Are you alright?' Was I alright? Looking down I realized my hand trembling. What was wrong with me? Usually emotions never managed to take over! Was this the punishment of an angry god? His fury at my trying to kill his child?
Taking a deep breath I nodded and, giving him a look that told him I wouldn't mind his following, turned to go back to Hayabuza's house. Walking through the narrow alleys I realized quiet steps behind me and changed my destination, not wanting the other to know where I lived at the moment. Now heading for the forest I slowed my pace and it didn't take long for the redhead from the marked to catch up with me.
Eventually we reached the forest and I stopped. Turning to the person now standing next to me, my eyes once again met his.
"Is there anything you need my assistance with?"
His voice was stoic and monotone, but pleasant to listen to. Calming and quiet. Somehow I knew I could trust him. That no matter what I told him, he wouldn't sell me out or use my words against me. Nodding I told him my dilemma.
"There's this monster. I have the mission to rid the world of its deadly claws, but when it lay before me, wounded and weak, I couldn't kill it. That never happened before. I'm a monster hunter; I don't hesitate in taking a monster's life!"
The redhead nodded, knowingly.
"I understand. The same thing actually happened to me as well, only that that has been a few years ago. A banshee, a winged beast whose scream can cause internal bleeding, was what I was assigned to kill, but when my eyes met those blue eyes and saw the creature's innocence… That monster is my lover now."
And then he smiled. It looked strange, seeing as his eyes still were void of emotion, but he seemed to radiate some kind of content happiness. A rush of jealousy gripped my heart and I wanted to have that kind of happiness as well. Someone to talk about with that fond smile on my face. But as soon as the thought was formed I crushed it again.
As a hunter I didn't have a home, travelling through the lands, never resting, ignoring my needs. I hunted the most dangerous beings that existed, always in danger of being killed. I didn't need anyone I had to protect. Or someone that could betray me and cause my death. Being alone was always better. Neither humans nor monsters could be trusted. But especially not humans. They didn't admit their egoistical ways and feigned compassion. Pretended friendship and when you trusted them they ripped you apart.
Suddenly I realized with what species I was talking. To whom I confessed my current weakness. My eyes widening I backed away. He didn't react, just looked at me, his eyes understanding and accepting. And even when I turned and walked away, he didn't follow. Didn't say a word.
My feet brought me back to my room in the village head's house. I sat down on the bed and put my head in my hands. Now that those unpleasant memories left, the picture of a certain monster could roam freely behind my closed eyes. That porcelain skin came to mind, the lean but strong body. And those beautiful magenta eyes. Like the setting sun's rays reflecting in a sea of blood.
I wondered what it would feel like to touch him. Really touch, and not fight him. Would he be cold to the touch? The skin as freezing as it looked? Or would he be warm?
A growl escaped my throat. I couldn't think that. Any kinds of feeling directed at another being but myself were weak. I had to be the only one in my life. Everything had to stay the way it was. And I had to forget that beautiful angel. Or demon. Or whatever he was. I HAD to. I couldn't have anything other than money and survival on my mind. Else I'd die.
And the only way to completely rid myself of that plague would be by killing him. Only when I'd seen that broken and lifeless body, the enticing eyes dull and empty, only then would I be free. Straightening I stood up, a look of determination set onto my face. I would kill him.
Grabbing my sack of weapons and food, which I'd left in the room before going to the market, I left the house and was on my way to the cave. It didn't take me long to reach my destination, but nevertheless the sun was already setting when I came to stand in front of that damned labyrinth of tunnels. I didn't even look around for any potential enemies before entering the darkness, having already lit the torch on while walking through the forest, and heading for the cave in which ko-sama seemed to live.
It was silent, no singing. The cave's occupant's energy wasn't bright and strong either. The only thing I could feel was a dull pulsing, just barely registered. The fight with me seemed to have weakened him…
As I reached the cave I had been looking for the sight of a white winged figure sitting at the edge of the lake caught my eyes. Quietly, as not to disturb him and ready myself for an attack I hid behind a boulder.
A pale hand touched the water's surface, thoughtfully drawing circles, the liquid rippling at the movement. The creature's other arm was slung around the torso as if it hurt, which it probably did after my kick. I could hear him quietly humming that prayer again and wondered what it meant. Was it just a song to show Jashin that you placed your faith in him, entrusted your life in his hands, or was it more? I didn't know. And I shouldn't care.
That slender body drew in my gaze, the strange want to touch taking over again. Just once. I wanted to feel that flawless skin only one time and then I could gladly kill him. Taking a deep breath I squashed that longing again. I couldn't let myself give in to my feelings. I had to eliminate my body's needs.
Cautiously I left my hiding place and crept closer. Slowly I neared the figure that sat huddled on the ground, holding my breath as to not attract attention. Suddenly drawn in by the slender curve of his back I stopped, wanting to watch that perfect creature for just a while longer. A few seconds would suffice. The steady breathing, the slight movements of his arm, it was so enticing I couldn't bring myself to take that last step.
Eventually I forced myself to move, brought one foot forward, the katana held tightly in my hands. And then I made a mistake. The sole of my boot connected with a piece of rubble, producing a cracking sound. Time seemed to stop for a few seconds and then everything happened fast.
[Insert line here]
Word count: 2.012 (Short I know, but faster than any other chapter. Next one will be longer again, I promise ^^)
Nothing much happened in this chapter, but hey, it contained hints of SasoDei :D (It's pretty obvious that the redhead was Sasori, ne? And who other than Deidara could be his blue eyes lover? XD) Oh and don't worry, that's not all you'll read of those two. They'll reappear ^^ So now enough spoilers!
*hands over self made chocolate chip cakes and fresh milk (or something else if you don't like this)*
See you!
~Todesan