AN: Hey all! I hope you are doing super well! I wanted to get this out for some people that have been waiting for it… that being said… there are a few parts that don't really mesh with the shows time line but work here. Well isn't that why we write FF to begin with? So we can come up with our own stories? This might be a little dark for some people so read with caution.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy.

Love Polhop

Penelope looked around the dark room only being illuminated by the candles. She had no idea how many hours had past, but she'd know it'd been quite a few. The candle closest to her were about three quarters of the way burned down. Thankfully her shaking had subsided. Even with that now under control she had an even bigger issue to deal with.

Derek Morgan.

Right now, Derek was laying right next to her, under the covers nonetheless. His leg, laid effortlessly along her own.

How was she ever going to explain all of this? Did she really even need to? She sighed. Yeah, there was no way should could pretend this didn't happen.

"Are you still up?" She heard him ask.

She could pretend she was asleep, but why bother? "Yeah," she spoke softly.

"Are you feeling better?" The concern in his voice made her want to cry. Here was her sworn enemy lying beside her with genuine concern for her.

"I, uh, it takes a while for me to truly feel better but I'm well on my way right now," she said honestly.

"I'm glad," he replied.

They both laid there silently for a few moments. The room was still dark but it was much more manageable now with the candles glowing. How was she ever going to explain all of this to him? Would he look at her differently? Laugh at her? Probably, that's exactly what her ex had done. She shivered.

"You cold?" he asked.

"Uhh, no," she said. "But uh, thank you. For everything."

She heard him take a deep breath. "It was really no big deal."

She turned so she was facing him. "You're wrong. To me it's a huge deal." She watched as he sat upright on the bed. He turned to her. His face was blocked from the darkness, but she could tell he had concern still marring his features.

"I don't think either one of us are going to get any sleep. Do you want to try and talk about it?"

She thought for a moment. He was right. Nights like this she never slept. Hell, she would be lucky if she slept at all the next few nights. "I guess," she answered.

He made himself more comfortable. She quickly did the same. However, she made it so her knee would be touching his. The safe human contact seemed to help. Normally when this would happen she'd be in a panic for hours and hours. Somehow, though, Derek had made her feel more at ease. Safer.

"I thought someone had broken in here and tried to hurt you," he stated.

She looked down, ashamed. "I'm sorry about that. It's just… I can't help it."

"What happened?" he asked softly.

She thought for a few moments, before taking a deep breath. "I do own you an explanation," she started. "I just don't even know where to begin."

She was startled at first when she felt his hand reach out for hers, giving it a slight squeeze. "How about the beginning?" he encouraged.

"Okay, so there once was these two hippies who liked to get it on-"

"Garcia," he warned.

"I know." She sighed. "I don't really know how much you know about me, but my parents died when I was eighteen."

"I had heard that." She felt him squeeze her hand again.

"Okay, well, do you know how they died?"

"No, only that they were no longer around."

She nodded, before taking a deep breath. "I was with them," she whispered. "I was in the car with them when we were hit. I was in the back seat. We were all arguing, actually more like screaming at each other. I had snuck out after curfew and gone to some stupid party. They found me and were bringing me home. Problem was, the party was secluded in the woods. You had to take dark windy roads to get there." She could feel the tears start to form. "One of the drunk kids I guess was leaving too or something, but he ended up slamming into the front of our car going 70 mph while my parents were doing under thirty. The car hit us so hard, my mother and father's bodies were…" She couldn't repeat it. The horror she saw that night haunted her memories.

"Penelope," Derek spoke softly, but she continued.

"I wasn't as badly hurt. I even was able to undo my seatbelt. I was screaming for my parents asking them to talk to me, move, to do anything, but I knew. I knew beyond a doubt they were gone, no body that was that mangled and twisted could have survived. I realized I needed to check on the other driver. There might have been a chance they were okay. There was already so much death. I needed that little bit of hope. My head was bleeding pretty bad and I had a broken arm, but my legs weren't pinned or anything. I managed to crawl out of the back window. I hobbled to the front of the car and looked into the lifeless eyes of my father. The father I had just told I hated. I made my way over to the other vehicle and saw the driver. He was almost unrecognizable. I remember feeling the pain in my arms and ribs, but somehow being immune to all of it. Maybe it was the shock?"

Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes. "The lights that were on in the car started to flicker and after a few minutes everything went dark. All of it. I was left on the side of the road in pitch black with my parents' dead bodies, and a kid I hadn't even known… I was all alone."

"Pen."

"No one came around that bend for five hours. Five long hours I sat on the side of the road in total darkness. The sounds of the forest, the – the smell of blood- "

She felt him grab onto her and pull her into his lap. "Penelope, baby, I'm so sorry," he whispered into her hair as she started to sob. "That's why you're deathly afraid of the dark."

"Yeah," she answered. "I don't sleep with the lights out. I have candles all around my apartment and flashlights on me at all times."

"What do you do when the power goes out?" he asked.

"I grabbed every candle I can and sit on the floor or on the bed with them circled around me and pray the lights will turn back on before the images come back."

"Jesus."

"I've, I've been trying to deal with it. I was doing really well a few years back, but then one night, I was at my ex's and the power went out. Instead of finding me a flash light, he thought it would be funny to mess with me. He said I needed to move on and let it go."

"You don't need to 'let it go'," Derek assured her. "He sounds like a jackass."

She nodded. "He thought it would be funny, that he could cure me and fix me. You know, he was the "popular" guy and was always trying to get a laugh. The life of the party. He was everyone's friend. Everyone wanted to be with him, and when he asked me out I thought it was a dream come true. Me, chubby, Garcia, finally got herself the popular kid. But, instead of helping me when I needed him most he tried to make it a joke. He ran away from the bedroom and left me alone."

"The idiot. He left you alone in the pitch black?"

"Yeah," she whispered. "Before then, I was getting better. At night, I didn't have flashlights already turned on in case the power would go out during the night. I wasn't having as many night terrors."

"But it all came back?" Derek asked.

"Yeah."

"God, you were eighteen and… what you went through. And then your ex."

"I'm sorry," she said.

"You're sorry?" he asked. "Why are you sorry?"

"For the way I acted. My ex hated it when I acted like that. My second bag is still at the station, it has my flashlight in it and when-"

"Your ex is a fucking asshole and if I ever see him I'll beat the shit out of him."

She couldn't help the smile that spread across her face. "Thank you."

They were both quite as Derek continued to hold her. In all the years since that fateful night she had never felt as safe and secure as she did right now in his arms.

"Is that why you hate me so much? I remind you of your ex?" he asked.