Hikaru

I sat on a bench at the edge of the park, watching the carnival lights in the distant. It was cold but I didn't want to go home for some reason. I felt like sitting in the dark for once and not doing anything. I just wanted to be by myself only if for a night or even just a moment.

I sneezed and shivered in my jacket. I should have worn something thicker like Auntie had told me to but I thought I'd still be at the carnival where it was warmer… I pulled my jacket closer around me and was about to shiver again when I felt another jacket drape around my shoulders.

I looked up and saw Ludwig watching me intently. Instantly, I glanced away and shrugged off his jacket. "I don't need this," I said, handing it to him.

"You need it more than I do," he said, taking it and draping it around my shoulders again. "You'll get sick if you don't get warm."

I realized that those were almost the exact same words I used back during vacation when I put the blanket around him so I nodded, feeling my face flush. Ludwig helped me into the jacket and he buttoned it up for me.

"You're wearing it," he said, taking my necklace in his hand.

I nodded, thinking of nothing to say to him.

"Where's Sadik?" he asked.

"I don't know," I said, shrugging. "He left me earlier after I went used the restroom. Weren't you with Feliciano and nii-san earlier? Where are they?"

"Lovino made Feliciano go home and Kiku got sick… Do you want to walk?"

I looked at him. "Sure," I said, shoving my hands down the pockets of his jacket.

"It's nice outside," Ludwig said as we started walking down the sidewalk.

"It'd be nicer if it weren't so cold." I exhaled and saw my own breath. As we neared the carnival, I heard a song playing loudly: Tell me again was it love at first sight when I walked by and you caught my eye? Didn't you know love could shine this bright? Well, smile because you're a deer in the headlights. "I love this song," I said, listening to it. "I finally got the notes for it so now I could play it on the piano." I took a breath and sang along to the lyrics, "'Tell me again was it love at first sight when I walked by and you caught my eye? Didn't you know love could shine this bright? I'm sorry I ever tried deer in the headlights...'" I stopped as soon as I heard the quietness coming from Ludwig and flushed with embarrassment. "Sorry. I kind of got carried away."

"No, it's okay. I'd like to hear you play it one day."

I felt my face burn even more. "Um, you wouldn't. I haven't been practicing for a while and—"

"You're really good at the piano, Hikaru," Ludwig said. "I've heard you play before, remember?"

I nodded and shivered even though I had the extra jacket on.

"Are you still cold?" he asked.

"Kind of," I whispered. Ludwig was looking at me in a way that made me blush harder. I felt like I did when I first met him: I couldn't stop blushing due to the fact that he was just looking at me.

"I have hot chocolate at my house if you want. That'll warm you up."

I nodded and then he led me to his house where it was warm and comfortable.

"Hikaru, sweetie, what brings you here?" Mutti asked, hugging me when I entered through the door.

"Hot chocolate," I said.

"I'll make it, Mutti," Ludwig said, giving his mother a kiss on the cheek. "We'll be fine."

Mutti smiled at me and kissed my cheek. "You two have fun," she said. "I'll go see what Vati's doing upstairs." Then, she hurried upstairs and once we heard a door close, Ludwig helped me out of his jacket.

"You can warm up by the fire if you want," he said. "I'll get our hot chocolate ready."

I nodded and took off my jacket and hung it on the coat rack. Then, I walked over to the fireplace where framed photos were lined up. Even though I've been to his house a dozen times before, I still liked looking at the photos of Ludwig when he was younger. There were photos of him still wrapped in a blue blanket in the arms of Mutti and surrounded by his brothers and father. I found a photo of him from when he was around eight years old with his brothers grouped around him. He had his hair pushed back like always and he stood with his hands behind his back and there was a slight smile on his face. It was my favorite, out of all of them, because I thought he was adorable as a small child…

And there was a picture from the photo shoot of me and Ludwig. I had on a white dress while Ludwig stood next to me, dressed handsomely in a white buttoned up shirt and black pants. Oji-chan had me hold his hand that rested on my shoulder and lean on him like I always did before. I remembered the feeling of having his chest to lean against again, the ticklish sensations in my stomach that made me want to close my eyes and dream…

"Hikaru," Ludwig said, interrupting my thoughts.

I turned around to see him holding a mug out to me full of steaming hot chocolate. "Thank you," I said, taking it from him. I blew on it, and sipped it to taste a rich chocolate that I've only tasted before in his house. "It's delicious."

"I knew you liked German chocolate so I added it to the mixture."

"It really is delicious," I said, taking another sip. I sat on the floor in front of the fireplace, where it was warm and cozy, and just stared into it. My heart seemed like it was pounding—aching —for the feel of his touch on my skin and for his light blue eyes that made me blush with excitement.

"Hikaru, are you all right?" Ludwig asked as he sat next to me.

I looked at him. "Yeah, I'm good," I said, setting my mug down.

"Are you cold? I can get you a blanket if you want."

When I didn't reply, I heard him stand up and head upstairs. After a minute of two, I felt a thick blanket drape around me. Then, when I felt Ludwig's hands leave my shoulders, I grabbed them and pulled myself up to my feet, feeling the blanket fall off.

"Wait," I said, weaving my fingers through his. "Ludwig, I've wanted to talk to you about s—"

Suddenly, his breath was on mine and my heart pounded faster in my chest as he pressed his lips to mine. His arms wrapped around my waist, holding me in my place as we kissed. I gathered his shirt in my hands and pulled myself up to his full height. Our legs tangled together and we fell to the floor with a loud thud but I didn't care. At that moment my mind was on him and that was all that I was thinking about.

I felt him roll out from underneath me and push himself to my body. I let out a small cry when I felt him hold my hips toward his. My mind spun wildly, and I could feel my hands shaking as I held onto him while we kissed. I started to get scared of what would happen next if I let this continue. The terror of what my brother or any of my family would say if they found out started to give me the chills and Ludwig seemed to sense this.

"What's wrong?" he asked, pulling me to a sitting position. He reached over and smoothed out my hair. I saw that in the process, I had made his neat hair come undone so that it hung over his forehead.

"I can't…do that," I said. "Ryuto would get mad. I'm not supposed to be with you, remember?"

Ludwig stared at me. He opened his mouth, starting to say something but Gilbert's voice interrupted him:

"Seriously, Hikaru," he said. "You need to stop listening to people and start acting for yourself."

Ludwig and I looked up to see Gilbert standing at the door, pulling his shoes off. He shook snow out from his hair and sat down on the couch behind us once he took of his coat.

"As for you, brother," Gilbert said, "you need to start taking the things you want by force and no buts. Besides, I already talked it over with Ryuto. He said you can be with Ludwig again if you stop handing around that Turk." Gilbert stood up again. "I'm gonna make myself some hot cocoa. You two lovebirds figure out what you want in the meantime, okay?"

I looked back at Ludwig when Gilbert left the room. "What…do you want?" I asked.

Ludwig stared at me for a moment. I couldn't tell if he was thinking about it or just staring at me with a blank expression. Another moment passed and my phone vibrated in my pocket. When I took it out, I saw that Ryuto had texted me, asking where I was. I replied quickly, telling him that I'd be home soon.

"I have to go," I said, standing up. I grabbed my jacket and started to pull it over me when something fell out of the pocket. The omamori lay on the floor with the Japanese character for love glittering in the firelight. I picked it up and handed it to Ludwig. "I was supposed to give this to you at Christmas, but I never got the chance. Bye, Ludwig. I'll see you around, I guess." I pulled my jacket over my head and went out the door, closing it behind me, and headed for my house.

Was I so stupid to believe for one second that he wanted me back? His silence said everything in those moments so why did he bring to his home? I felt so humiliated and stupid like an idiotic girl who keeps going back to a guy because she's apparently in love with him... I knew what I wanted but I didn't know what Ludwig wanted and there was no way I was going to go through everything all over again.

I pulled out my phone and started dialing my father's phone number. It'd be morning back in Japan and he was usually up around then. He'd answer me and I'd tell him my decision.

"Hikaru, is that you?" my father's voice asked, sounding groggy over the phone. "Do you know what time it is over here?"

"Sorry, Papa," I said. "I just wanted to talk to you about something."

"What is it? Did something happen?"

"No, Papa. Nothing happened. I just wanted to know if you'd help me. I've just been a little homesick and I wanted to go back to Japan. Can you take me?" I almost choked on my words because I knew that he'd agree.

Papa became silent for a moment. "Yes, sweetie," he said. "I'll send you a ticket soon. When do you want to leave?"

My throat became dry. "As soon as possible," I answered.

A Note from your Author:

As school nears the end, my brain is going to die. It happens every summer but this time I can't quite afford it because I have to do homework for my AP United States History class for next school year so now I have to do some research, watch some movies, and read some books on freaking U.S. History…and write essays about specific topics. I should've started it because I'm probably going to Guam (look it up because that's my homeland!) during the summer for a month or so and I'll be too busy to do my homework.

But meanwhile…I think I am close to finishing this story! WHOO! ...Yeah…yay… I don't want to finish it but it has to end somewhere. However, I've already decided that I'll write little side stories about the other guys since I barely (and sadly) included them. It'll be like 'Iggy in Love' or something and I'll just post it under Gakuen Academy.

So for now, I will say thanks for reading and enjoy!