CHAPTER 3

For Ellie's sake he tried. He went on a few dates, but they never went anywhere. Most times he crashed and burned by bringing up the whole Jill incident. He'd been careful to avoid the whole Morgan thing, but a few who were closer to Ellie knew. Some had tried to take him to bed on the first date, but he could tell it was something like pity. They hadn't gotten along all through dinner yet they still invited him into their house, so either it was pity or they were just super casual about sex. Either way he wanted no part of it.

He wasn't quite sure what his worst was. Either the time some friend of a friend of Ellie's got so drunk he had to help her to her apartment, and then she got mad and threw a bag at him when he wouldn't take advantage of her, or the time a nurse flat out admitted she would sleep with him for pity. Driving back to Ellie's he told himself, "At least she was honest."

He'd pretty much accepted that this dry spell was it. There was a certain appeal to being a Monk. Not having a girlfriend meant more cash for himself, and he was still making eleven dollars an hour, so he needed whatever he could get. Plus it meant time to focus on other stuff, be they games or his work.

At some point the Buy More had become his job, but The Piranha became his work. It was definitely more important. He didn't get paid for it but at least he was doing some good in the world. Chuck Bartowski would never matter, but the Piranha did.

He'd saved almost three thousand dollars thanks to some side jobs, which was enough for him to completely rework his black box. He set up a PO Box and ordered parts, dressed up in a makeshift disguise and picked up all the pieces before closing out the box working on his new computer, wiping his old one once it was done.

It still wasn't the best out there, but with how much his skills had improved he felt secure crafting an automated search program. He was going to run two, one on photos in every government database he could find for the G-Man looking guy who killed Morgan, and another for Orion.

Luckily he kept his work on his black box to the middle of the night when he was in bed, as one day Ellie practically burst into his room asking, "You excited for your party?"

He paused his game to look at her, unable to hide his frown. "Is that necessary, El?"

"Is asking that necessary, little brother?" She said with a smirk that softened. "I want to do this."

"It's embarrassing, El. It's all your friends."

"Well, it's not like-" Ellie stopped herself, holding back a hiss.

Chuck felt a sting at the unspoken words, but smiled somberly as he finished her sentence. "It's not like I have any friends."

Ellie crossed her arms. "I could invite your friends from the Buy More."

"You really want Jeff and Lester here?" Seeing her shake her head he snickered. "I thought not. Look, it's fine El. If you really want this then do it. I'm a big boy, I can survive a night surrounded by doctors. As long as they don't have needles."

Ellie grinned. "No needles, promise."

"Cross your heart?"

Catching his baiting smile she pointed at him. "No needles in the eye. Cross my heart."

He finished coding his new search program two days before his birthday, leaving his black box laptop running in his closet as he ran a few simple searches. The morning of his birthday he put in everything he could remember of the G-Man who killed Morgan and Orion. If anyone from some sheriff in the middle of nowhere to the CIA had anything on either of them he was going to find it. It was just a matter of time.

He put off his nerves for the rest of the day. No one had found out he was the Piranha in the decade he'd been activate. If they couldn't find him by now they'd never find him as long as he kept being careful.

"Any plans tonight, Chuckles?" Anna asked as they sat at the Nerd Herd desk letting time drift by. "It's your birthday, right?"

"Just a thing with my sister," he said with a shrug.

"No hot date?" She asked with a teasing smile. "You sure you don't want me to set you up with someone, Chuckles?"

"Thank you for the offer, Anna, but I prefer the traditional girl meets boy kind of thing. You know, the classics."

Of course, girl would have to want boy, but he was a stickler for the classics. Who doesn't love the tale of the beautiful damsel meeting the loser boy who is secretly a borderline vigilante wanted by three dozen government agencies, a couple cartels, mafia families and a couple dozen other criminals. It's a tale as old as time.

He considered trying to sneak out of his window before the party, but Chuck couldn't embarrass Ellie. At least he could avoid failing her in this small way. He could suffer through a few hours, maybe get a few drinks, check on his search, play something until he passes out.

Of course it wasn't so grim, but he felt dumb when he found himself alone after talking about Jill again. It was like a trap he knew but couldn't avoid. The whole party felt like that. He knew by the end of the night he'd end up without a date, back in his room, alone again just like every other year, just like every other day. But he went through with it because… well, why not?

At times it felt like maybe he was wrong about the whole Batman thing. Maybe he was more like Superman than he thought, or at least the cynic's Superman. Batman was Bruce Wayne and had to put on a cowl and cape to become Batman, but Superman was born Superman. Clark Kent was the mask he wore, a bumbling buffoon, a caricature of humanity through the eyes of an alien.

It felt like he'd become Superman, or rather he'd become The Piranha. Chuck Bartowski felt like the mask he wore to go unnoticed by the rest of the world. A pathetic nobody who could never be one of the most wanted hackers on the planet. As if it were all some kind of cover for the real him. Or so he liked to tell himself before he got too down.

After telling his sister he'd 'get over Jill tomorrow' he went about helping Devon clean the courtyard before heading to his room to settle in for the night. He checked his laptop which only had a few results for the killer, but none that were him. Deciding to give it a rest he shut down the laptop and hid it away where even his snooping sister couldn't find it and decided to just read a comic for the night when he heard a chime from his desktop.

Getting out of bed he went over to the monitor and laughed. "Blast from the past," he said seeing Bryce's e-mail. He was tempted to just delete it, but if he was contacting him after five years it might be important, so he opened the mail and found a file for Zork inside.

"What?" He shook his head. His fingers tapped the desk as he thought back on what items they'd put in the game, finally recalling the nasty knife, so quickly typed: Attack troll with nasty knife.

Hitting enter he stood, watching the screen switch from the black and white text of Zork to a series of images rapidly flashing across the screen, leaving him dazed until suddenly he was being shaken awake.

"Chuck! Chuck!" Ellie was kneeling over him, shaking his shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"I think I drank too much," he said sitting up with a groan.

Ellie sighed. "Want to call in today?"

"No, I'm fine, just a headache," he said getting up. "Don't need a doctor's note today."

"You sure? If you hit your head-"

"I'm fine, El, I promise. I need to hurry or I'll be late." He was pulling off his shirt as he left the room, heading to the bathroom while his sister frowned behind him.

He was in the shower listening to the radio when he felt a sudden surge in the back of his head as dozens of images came to mind. It was as if he knew exactly what the news was talking about. Not just understood it, but knew how the police were shifting traffic, which routes were being secured and left open.

Though he didn't know how he knew it proved to work out, helping him avoid the worst traffic on his way to the Buy More. It all happened again when he had finished warning the other Herders about the Irene Demova virus and heard a report about the general who he somehow knew had already arrived. He tried not to think about it too much as he went back to work.

"How was your thing with Ellie?" The question drew his attention to Anna, who was holding out a paper for him.

For a moment he was confused, then remembered he'd mentioned it the day before. "Oh, yeah. It was fine. Same as usual. She showed me around like a poodle until everyone got bored then I helped clean up and passed out on the floor."

"Sounds more like one of Jeff's nights, minus the cleaning," she said with a laugh. As he was looking over the paper and picked up the phone, pinching it between his cheek and raised shoulder, she turned and saw a beautiful, tall blonde looking lost until she spotted Chuck and made he way toward the desk.

Anna had seen dozens of pretty girls come to Chuck, some almost literally throwing themselves at him, but they might as well have been talking to Helen Keller. Backing away from the desk, Anna rolled her eyes muttering, "Here we go again."

It was almost Pavlovian how the moment the words left her mouth he started lightly bobbing his head and singing to himself. "Going down the only roooad I've ever known. Like a drifter I was booorn to walk alone. Mm. Yeah. And I've made up my mind." He glanced up and spotted the blonde beauty before him, smiling as he looked down continuing, "I ain't wastin' no more time, but here I-"

The phone dropped as he realized what he was doing and more importantly who he was doing it in front of.

"I hope I'm not interrupting," she said with a wry smile.

His brain stalled for a moment, leaving him gaping slightly until he forced a restart and made himself speak. "No, not at all… That was-uh, Whitesnake."

"Cause that makes it better," she said with a nod.

"It's up there with Bach," he mutter with a hollow laugh, wishing he could jam one of the monitors into his mouth to shut himself up. "Anyway, I-I'm, uh, Chuck." He tapped his the name tag on his pocket protector, something he was certain was the single most pathetic thing he'd ever done in his entire life.

"Wow, I didn't think people still named their kids Chuck."

"Well my parents were sadists," He offered, putting a hand to his chest with an assuring nod. And suddenly it felt like he was in a hole and for whatever reason thought the smart way to get out was digging down. "So how can I help you-"

"Sarah."

"-Sarah?"

"I'm here about this." She flipped over her phone, the back and battery taken off already.

Deciding to try digging up for once, he held back on a crack about the battery needing to be in the phone for it to work. "Oh yeah, the Intelcell, yeah," he said picking the pieces up and putting it together, grabbing his screwdriver. "This model has a little screw that, uh, pops loose."

She watched him holding the back of the phone between his lips as he tightened the screw she loosened.

"Right in the back here. Just go ahead, give it a couple quick turns and…" He closed the back and looked to her. "Good as new. No problem."

Taking the phone back she gave a big, "Wow! You geeks are good."

"Nerds," he said almost reflexively. "I would say is more the, uh, I mean you know Nerd Herd-"

He was waving his hands to the sign overhead when a girl in a tutu ran up along with a man holding a camcorder. "Excuse me! I have an emergency!"

Sarah watched as he explained the need for digital tape before turning and asking Anna, who was off to the side watching with a smirk, to prepare the wall. Within minutes he was kneeling beside the girl telling her that "Real ballerinas are tall."

This is the guy working with Bryce? She found her smile wasn't as forced as usual, in fact it wasn't forced at all, not even when she spotted him coming back toward her before a bald Asian man cut him off. Quickly taking out a card she dropped it on the desk and left. If it came to seduction she knew this wouldn't be some quick job, his profile made that clear. She'd just scare him off, and there was the infiltration option.

She'd been in quite a few people's rooms over the years and found few felt so much an extension of the person. Just looking around his room it was obvious who he was, what kind of things he liked. It wasn't the cluttered nest she'd seen sometimes, but it also wasn't the spartan barracks most agents kept. The room was an extension of the man, filled with things he enjoyed, including the desktop she was carrying out when the door opened and he walked into the apartment.

Thank god she'd made sure to cover herself completely and fill her clothes out, hiding not only her identity but sex. Setting it down she turned to him as Chuck pleaded, "Please, not the computer…"

When the intruder struck some kind of ninja pose Chuck held up his hands. "Woah, hold on, is this really worth it? If you need some money or something I'm sure there's better ways."

Beneath the mask Sarah's brow knit as she wondered again, Who is this guy? Turning to pick up the computer she spotted him step toward her and quickly turned and tossed it to him, making him catch it. Leaving him wide open to a kick so he slammed back to the wall and fell through a shoe shelf.

She was leaving when she felt something hit her back and turned to see Chuck standing up, holding another sneaker. As if realizing what he did, he glanced at the shoe and offered a laugh. "I know, who throws a shoe, but come on, you're robbing me."

Rolling her eyes, Sarah put the desktop on a shelf and started toward him. To her utter surprise he tried to move forward as if to meet her. It wasn't until she was already mid kick that she realized he was trying to grab the computer, so when her foot connected with his abdomen his fingers had grasped the top of the desktop, causing it to fall off the shelf and shatter against the ground.

"My games," he groaned, holding his stomach as Sarah saw the hard drive was broken beyond repair and turned to make her way back to her car.

Crawling toward the ruined computer he got to his feet and stumbled into the hall rubbing his stomach. After checking the other rooms he went to his room and checked the vent in his closet to find his laptop still inside. Closing it he let out a sigh and leaned against the wall, wondering to himself, "Who was that?"

AN:

Anna is kind of the Morgan replacement here for the Buy More scenes but that's not a common thing. I think it happens one or two more times but that's about it.

Honestly didn't plan for the Whitesnake bit originally, but when I wrote Anna's lead in I just kinda went with it.