CHAPTER 8
They were done, or at least Chuck thought they were. He still hadn't actually turned anything on, so he wasn't really sure if anything worked. But Chuck decided not to turn them on yet. He knew they would cause problems, and it was too close to risk them grounding him, so to speak. So Chuck tucked both devices in a box in his closet and decided to call into work and tell them he'd be late.
When Casey clocked in and saw Chuck's card hadn't been moved. Spotting a note on the board beside it saying Chuck would be late, Casey groaned and called Sarah. "Walker, is the moron with you?"
Sarah bit back a retort. "Is he not at work?"
"He hasn't punched in and he was supposed to start an hour before me."
Sarah sighed, grabbing her bag from under the Wienerlicious counter and checking a PDA dedicated to tracking Chuck's various GPS devices. Luckily all but his watch were on the same path. "I'll tail him since you just punched in."
After changing in the back Sarah told Scooter she had a family emergency and hurried out to her car, speeding out of the lot. Though her confusion grew when she saw Chuck finally come to a stop, it eased when she spotted the Nerd Herder a block away and realized Chuck was parked in front of a graveyard.
She watched him sat behind the wheel, bobbing his head for a minute before finally taking a breath and unplugging his ipod before shutting the engine off. He blew out a long breath once he got out of the car and stood in front of the gate, taking another moment to himself. She saw he was holding a six pack of yoohoos.
When he entered the graveyard Sarah debated following him, but the agent in her won out. She couldn't risk someone kidnapping him while he was out of sight. And an awful part of her just wanted to know what he was doing. She knew he had a friend who died in high school, he'd even referenced him bleeding out in his arms once, but rarely mentioned it otherwise.
Chuck walked his usual path to the grave of Morgan Grimes and found a few flowers laid beside it, which meant Morgan's mother had been there as she was every weekend. With a somber smile he sank to the grass, sitting with his legs crossed in front of the grave. He looked down to where he knew the casket rest beneath the earth, setting the yoohoos beside it.
"Sorry it's been a while, Buddy. Things have been… Well crazier than they've ever been." Chuckling, he reached up to rub his forehead. "If I told you what was actually happening, well I'd have to kill you," Chuck said with a morose laugh. "But since someone did that already I guess I can tell you some stuff. I just…"
Chuck sat up a bit and looked around, and though he didn't see anyone he still shook his head when he settled back down and looked to the grass. "Maybe I'm just paranoid, but in case someone comes by or something I'll keep it vague. Sorry, Buddy. You know I don't want to keep it from you, but, well, national security demands it, I guess.
"You know all about the other stuff, right? Well can you believe that isn't the problem? I always thought it would be. Or maybe Bryce and Jill. I'd run into them and it would all be fresh again. Hey, maybe you actually get to meet him now if you're even anywhere else. Though I kind of hope you're not where Bryce is. I guess he still helped people, so wouldn't deserve to be there either. Even with all the stuff he did to me he wasn't so awful, right? He at least helped people for his job. Saved lives, stopped bad guys.
"Anyway, it's none of that stuff. Maybe kind of Bryce, but not really. Point is it's something different." Chuck tried to think of how to explain it before he laughed, shaking his head when he finally settled back to a wry smile. "I kind of got a super power. It's' nothing great. No super speed or anything. My luck I'd get motion sick."
Chuck paused, taking one of the yoohoos. "Hope you don't mind me bumming one of the milks, Buddy."
After a big sip, Chuck screw the cap back on the bottle and set it between his legs. "I met this girl because of it. You'd love her, Buddy. She's… She's Vicky Vale. Or maybe Selina Kyle, but without the crazy. It's like, take the best of them and you get half of her. There's no one like Sarah.
"We had this date. I couldn't believe my luck when she asked me out. A girl like that asking out Chuck Bartowski? She's so pretty, but the way she smiled... I felt like such a bumbling idiot every time I spoke to her, but it felt like that was okay, and she still asked me out. And then it was great. The best date ever. It wasn't like we went anywhere special, but it was the best. It all felt so... real. It felt like the start of something. Something big. Something important. And I guess it was, but not in the way I thought. It was so great, but just like our last day everything went bad. Somehow the best date I've ever been on turned into one of the worst days of my life. And even knowing it was all a lie, that she never really felt anything for me, I still trusted her. I still do. And there are these times, Buddy, I swear I..."
Picking up the bottle, Chuck tapped the ground with it and took a breath. "I probably shouldn't get my hopes up though, huh? But at least she works with me, kind of. Feels more like I work for her sometimes, but at least she treats me like a person, you know? Not like the other guy I work with. He's fine, but not like her, you know? He's more like… He thinks he's Captain America, but he's more like Punisher, if Frank wasn't completely insane. But we're good. I think we're doing good at least. For now, anyway."
Chuck blew out a breath. "Honestly, some days I'm pretty sure I'm going to be joining you and Bryce wherever you are soon. Not just cause of all the stuff we have to do. Part of it's that, it's really dangerous stuff. If I hadn't disabled that bomb, or Sarah hadn't talked me through landing the helicopter, or if they hadn't got to the hotel room in time or I didn't convince those big guys to not throw me off the balcony…
"They tried to threaten me with locking me in a bunker, but I keep coming back to that night on the beach. I knew it then too… They're going kill me. If they did throw me in a bunker it would only be so long before the information was out of date, so they'd kill me to save tax dollars. Or they might just skip it once they get another one and get rid of me for the new model.
"If it happens I just hope it's quiet or far away. I don't want Ellie to see me like I saw you. I don't want my blood on her hands. I'd hope she just wouldn't see my body, but I don't want her to think I ran away like Mom or Dad. Part of me thinks it'd be easier on her to know someone took me from her than to think I abandoned her like them. Or hopefully someone would tell her. And if they don't maybe Sarah would at least send her a message or something. If she remembers me anyway."
Chuck sniffed, only then realizing how much his eyes burned. He reached up to wipe his eyes which had managed to keep the tears locked inside for now. He cleared his throat, taking another big sip of chocolate drink.
"You know I used to think it was enough to just do some good while you can, like we talked about," he said despite that conversation having been just as one sided as this one. "But all this stuff, it sucked not having anyone know about it. For so long it was like the only good I did wasn't really me.
"This stuff, it's all Chuck Bartowski, but no one knows, so as far as anyone knows I'm still just the failure that I was before. It sucked. She tried to say at least I would know, but I've known for a while and that didn't help. Then she said she would know, and maybe that's enough. At least there's a chance that when they kill me she'll remember that guy Chuck who helped some people instead of that loser from the Buy More who never did anything with his life and got killed in a break-in."
Finishing off the rest of the bottle, he started tapping the cap while telling Morgan that Ellie and Devon were doing good and a few stories of the Buy More before getting to his feet with a groan.
"Well I better go and hand these off before they go bad," he said picking up the yoohoos.
Sat behind a gravestone a few yards away Sarah silently wiped her eyes, glancing around it to see Chuck leaving. Following him, she saw he didn't return to his car, instead turning and making his way over to a homeless man down the street. She watched him start talking to him as she moved back toward her car, pointing to the graveyard before handing the man the rest of the yoohoos.
Thankfully she pulled away before he had a chance to spot her car. He made his way to the Buy More to clock in for the rest of his shift, and Sarah waited a bit before heading inside. Casey came up to her, grunting as he nodded toward Chuck helping a customer at the Nerd Herd Desk.
"Where was he?"
"Graveyard," she said simply.
Suddenly the annoyance faded from Casey's face. "He alright?"
Sarah glanced at Chuck, barely holding back a frown. "I don't know. He just talked to his friend."
"What he say?" When she gave him a scandalized look Casey rolled his eyes. "We're spies, Walker. There's no way we don't listen."
"Later," she said carefully.
Casey accepted that with a nod and walked off, leaving her to make her way to Chuck. Turning from the retreating customer Chuck greeted her with a smile as he noticed she wasn't in her uniform. "Hey. I thought you were working to-" He cut himself off, his face falling as he shook his head. "You had to follow me, didn't you?"
Sarah held off her sigh and gave him a sympathetic expression. "We just wanted to make sure you were okay. Just let us know next time you want to go, okay?"
"I'm not a child," he said in a tone just north of childish.
"I know, Chuck, but you're important."
Clearly biting down his annoyance, and keeping himself from making an impotent joke, he settled into a sigh. "It's not something I plan. Not anymore."
"What do you mean?" She hoped this didn't make him stop visiting the grave.
Chuck looked around before turning to her. "When it first happened I figured I'd go every week, but I couldn't, so I told myself once a month. Then when I went to Stanford I was trying to start a new life and didn't want to force myself to sink back like I had been. So I figured I'd just go after each semester or something, or at least in the summer, but then one day I just wanted to go and had nothing else to do so I just went. After that I just stopped planning it. If a day pops up and I feel like I need to I'll go."
Sarah nodded. "So why today? Is it the anniversary?"
Chuck shook his head. "No, that was closer to Halloween. Today was just… I guess I just needed a friend."
"Everything okay?"
"Yeah, like I said just one of those days. I don't really have anyone to talk with that isn't you or Casey, and it's not like I have any other friends."
"Of course you do."
Her almost indignant tone made him smile as he leaned forward. "Oh? And who are they again?"
Sarah frowned as she suddenly realized he might be right. "What about the people here?"
"Like Jeff and Lester?" He snickered.
"Anna," she offered.
"Is nice enough, but not really a friend. It's not like any of us talk outside of work. I'm friendly with people, sure, but-" He stopped himself. He was about to say the last friend he had screwed him over, but wanted to avoid mentioning Bryce around her as much as he could. It was hard enough for him to deal with him, no reason to make her deal with it again and again. "I just came from visiting my last real friend."
Sarah nodded, leaning against the desk opposite him, their faces inches apart. "Well maybe we can change that."
"Yeah?"
"I'm sure Casey would be a good friend."
Chuck turned his head to laugh. Tapping the desk, he calmed and turned back to her. "Want to come over tonight?"
"What's the occasion?"
"A night of Morgan."
"A night of Morgan," Sarah repeated.
With a shrug he explained, "Chinese food and a kung fu movie. Sometimes it's Italian and fantasy, but I'm in the mood for Chinese." Seeing her hesitate half a second he quickly said, "Besides, I've got a thing with Ellie in a few days. Just me and her, so I figure you can do this and get me out of your hair for a few nights unless something comes up."
Sarah, having hesitated because she didn't want to intrude on something that might be private, realized that was a nervous deflection and felt bad. An assuring smile took her lips as she shook her head. "You're never in my hair, Chuck."
"Good," he said, his relief palpable. "Why don't we meet up after work, get the food then we can head back to Ellie's."
Of course he couldn't even have that. When they went to get their food he flashed on Mei-Ling Cho, who turned out to be China's top spy, which meant he was on flash duty for the night.
The next night started out pretty good with his first stakeout and a lesson in tailing, but in typical fashion things went pear shaped quick. The worst part was it was because he tried to be a good samaritan and help an old man in a wheelchair get to his car. So when he saw them throwing another guy into the trunk, Chuck was so thrown by it he almost couldn't understand. Then the bullets flew, Mei-Ling told him it was her brother, and it was his fault he was in trouble.
When Sarah and Casey met him in the courtyard to tell him about how she'd basically gone rogue to help her brother, Chuck's sympathy grew. He knew he would do the same for Ellie. Even telling Sarah that she tried to argue, "The truth is we can't save everyone, Chuck."
But all he could say was, "Shouldn't we try?"
Sarah had frowned at him as she walked to the cars, leaving him quiet on the drive to work. His somberness turned to panic when Mei-Ling called from inside the store. He probably should have expected her to be the delivery woman he went to meet after his meeting with Sarah and Casey. He hoped the gun was fake, but then she pressed the gun to his stomach asking, "Real enough for you?"
For a moment he froze thinking how much it felt like that day. But before he could try anything Sarah and Casey rushed in and she put the gun to his head and he convinced her to defect. Even as he prepared for Mother's Day he kept thinking of the gun pointed at him, and just like he had about that day at the pier he kept thinking of different things he could have done.
He could have knocked it aside, but then what? Hit her? Not only was she a girl, but she was basically the Chinese Sarah, so it wasn't like he could do anything. Maybe grab it, but how? What if she fired? Would it burn his hand or something?
He'd almost rather either of those to disappointing Ellie, but to his utter relief she wasn't distraught. She thought it was all because he was in love and he was just so caught up with it because the rest of his life was shambles. When she said he wasn't superman out there saving the day, all he could think of was the laptop in his closet vent.
Part of him had missed being the Piranha, but not nearly as much as he thought it would. Even as chaotic as it all was, the good he did with Sarah and Casey definitely helped fill the hole the Piranha used to fill.
And besides, maybe Ellie wasn't really wrong. When he told Sarah about Morgan, or when he found out Ellie had invited her over to Mother's Day Redeux, he didn't feel like he had to shy away from it. If anything it felt nice to open up to her, to share something real with her, even if she wouldn't do the same for him.
Chuck would never be the guy who gets the girl… but at least it felt like he had a friend again.
AN:
So I debated having Sarash listen in, but figured it was early enough she could believably do that and also played into Casey's later bit about how she obviously listened because it's what they do, and something in a later chapter. Chuck here only assumes she followed him to the graveyard, not that she listened, hence his not being pissed.
I also thought this was a fun way to get to the same story despite the introduction being Morgan focused. Though I suppose it still is.