CHAPTER 19 - THE TRUTH BENEATH THE PAIN

They arrived on Jennifer's island later that morning. Rodney, it appeared, got seasick and spent most of the short trip leaning over the side of the boat bringing up the rather large breakfast that he had managed to consume. He groaned theatrically and complained loudly that he could smell lemons, citrus - that the air was filled with the spores of citrus and all manner of pollen that would cause his hayfever and many other allergies to flare up. Ronon grabbed him around the shoulders, gripping hard. "Will you just shut up Rodney or I'll throw you overboard. Then a shark will get you. No more Rodney, no more complaining, no more seasick. I'm thinking that it must be pretty quiet in Atlantis about now..."

Rodney managed an aggrieved look at Ronon and glared at the chuckle that escaped from John. Only Gina seemed to show him any sympathy. Giving John a censured look, she told him to take the controls of the boat and went to at least attempt to show Rodney some degree of sympathy. He certainly did not appear to be getting any from his friends. "Rodney - it helps if you keep your head up and don't look down at the water. Keep your focus out onto the horizon. Take deep breaths." She rubbed his back soothingly and he gave her a grateful look while John at the controls just rolled his eyes.

Jennifer and Gina's father were waiting at the dock when they arrived. The general stood tall and proud, not in uniform today, but in casual beach style pants that in no way took away his obvious bearing. Jennifer wore a pretty summer dress and she watched carefully as the other people from Atlantis alighted from the boat, paying particular attention to Rodney. His colour returned as soon as he had his feet firmly back on land.

"Doctor Rodney McKay and Ronon Dex of Sateda. An honour to meet you both." Jennifer stepped forward to greet the new arrivals and both the general and Gina looked at her in shock. She gave a small smile. "It is time for confessions my dear brother.. and to you too Gina. I am not quite the person you thought me to be... come... walk to the house. We will talk along the way."

She tucked Gina's hand into her elbow and glancing up occasionally at her brother she told her story. The general's face had paled a little and he paused at one point to rest his hands on his knees and to bend slightly as thought getting breath had become a difficulty. John was beside him immediately, concern in his face. "Take a moment General. It's a lot to take in. A lot. You've just been told your sister is an ascended being, without even understanding the concept of ascention or it's role in their society or yours. I can't begin to comprehend how this all must seem to you. A military man, trained to think a certain way. Trained to keep the enemy from the door. Who is the enemy?"

He had gotten his breath back. His glance at John was sharp, and just a little wary. "Who indeed, Colonel...who indeed? It seems as though everything I have held to be true has been taken away, turned around and changed in some way form or other. It is mind boggling to say the least. And yet, there is a part of me that accepts... and this feels wrong. I shouldn't accept. I should treat you all, my sister included, with suspicion. My mandate would dictate this. Know thy enemy? Perhaps, but perhaps we live amongst our enemies." He stopped again and waited until Jennifer had stopped also.

My late wife - you were close to her. Did she know?"

"No Nate. She did not know who I was or what Gina would become..." She deliberately left the sentence hanging, waiting for it to be picked up by the others. There was one very important piece of information that she needed to impart. This involved her changing the course of the future, interfering - yes, but necessary interfering. If things were meant to be as they should. Her role here was to observe and to guide and interference had always been strictly frowned upon. But this was one such time when if she did not interfere, then the future would collapse a little. This was her justification and she hoped that there would not be consequences because of what she was about to do.

"Gina, Nate... I have some news that will shock you. More than what I have already told you. You too John,this affects you and what you must do." They had reached her cottage now and she sank down gracefully onto the grass in the front, rather than enter the cool interior. She needed the sunlight, not the gloomy shadows. Out here, the news that she chose to impart may not seem so dark...

"Before this year ends Gina, you are in an accident in Honolulu. A hit and run driver - you are killed instantly..." Her breath hitched. She had known this forever, but to say it out loud was pain itself. She waited for the shocked sounds that she knew would come from the others and saw the General age beyond his years in the space of those few words.

"My God... Jennifer. How can you sit there and tell me this. How can you?"

"Because it will not happen Nate. I have chosen to interfere - possibly where those of my kind would consider I shouldn't. I have my reasons, and they are not all personal. John, you will take Gina back to Atlantis with you. She will not die here - that is the ONLY way we can change this scenario without causing the ripples through time. If she would be allowed to live within this time line, then too much would change. It would not be allowed and there would be others who would seek to make sure that destiny continued along its set path. What I decree, is a compromise. She will effectively die in this time line, she will cease to exist."

Gina had spun around and John saw the angry set of her face. He threw a confused glance at the others and took off after her. She was fast and it was some distance before he caught her, pulling her around the waist back against him. She fought him like a wild cat, scratching, kicking, even biting and he let her cry, let her yell out her anger and her frustration at what fate had just dealt her.

"Gina... sweetheart. It's ok... please, calm down. I'm here... let me help you." He had to hold her hard and it was a long time before he felt the tremors going through her body begin to calm a little and he let his knees bend and dropped them both onto the grass. He continued to hold her tight until at last she was still. Turning, he looked over his shoulder and saw her father standing there, the look on his face, that of a man who had knowledge beyond his years. Pulling her face back from John's chest as though sensing her father nearby, she looked up and the tears began again.

"Oh Dad... how can this happen? I won't see you again... the knowing - it is worse, far worse."

John rose then, still keeping her trapped in his arms and saw her reasoning. She would live on but they would never see one another again - effectively she would be dead to all in this time line. Her father would have to mourn her death, as would her brother. And it was likely that her brother would never be told the truth. He released her then, a look passing between him and her father as she moved from John's arms to his.

I'll take her back with me. Keep her safe. Have a life with her... that's why I was allowed that one night.. no consequences, there never could be, because she was not meant for this time line.. He shook his head at the inner turmoil. He left father and daughter then, needing to head back to the cottage. There was more he needed to learn from Jennifer. Or Callandra. One of them had the answers he sought.

She was still seated on the grass, now talking to Rodney while Ronon stood a short distance away, his posture showing his discomfort at being here and witnessing what was obviously a family situation. "She'll be all right John. I wouldn't have told her - told them both, if I didn't think they could handle the truth." She looked up at John, searching his eyes for some clue as to how he felt.

His own anger simmered. "Of all the damned arrogance. You ancients take the cake, you really do. You flit from one time line to another, one life to another - do you really have any understanding of what you are doing? You play like children, for all your intents and purposes not to change the time line, not to send ripples through time, you play with emotions, with feelings with who people are? Are you not supposed to let them evolve on their own, find their own way through their lives? Your ambitious arrogance meddling is screwing with people - with that woman and her father, with me damn it! Do you know how I feel about her? Or are you playing with our emotions too..."

Rodney's discomfort increased. But he kept his place, knowing that John needed the support of his friends right now. Jennifer rose and moved toward him, sympathy in her eyes, and a little anger also. "Don't presume to know why we do what we do. This is our business and while I can sympathise with the situation you find yourself in now, you are only a small part of a much larger picture John, and there is no room in that picture for tantrums."

Rodney pushed himself towards her now - he had never felt comfortable in the presence of ancients and had always felt that their ways were arrogant. He would enjoy watching his friend take this one down a peg or two, but he could see what it was costing him. "Now see here... Sheppard is right. You are playing with human emotions here. You trick Sheppard into coming back in time fifty years to perform a task that - I get it - is far reaching and important to future life on earth. Then you throw this crap at him? Throw a woman in his path, and I know Sheppard is always tripping over one woman or other, but you seem to take pleasure in changing the rules whenever we get too close to something." He pointed down the path to where Gina and her father were on their way back. "You've involved your own family this time. Interference is the worst form of arrogance..."

John had noted the pair were returning and thrust a hand through his hair. "Answer the question Callandra. How do we get home, how do we get home so these poor people can continue on with their lives before we totally screw it up for them. And for the record? I'm not taking her back with me. That's not your decision - it's mine. She doesn't belong in my time. I want her, don't get me wrong, and it'll be one of the hardest things I do to walk away from her. But to take her from this time for your selfish reasons... let her remain her and live out the rest of her life, with her father, with her brother. For however long it is. Tell us what we need to go then let us get the hell back to where we came from. No more discussion Callandra. That is how it is going to be."

Her eyes were sad when she looked at him, but John's anger won out and flicking a sharp glance to Rodney and Ronon, he turned and walked away from the family whose influence in this time would supercede his own.

She called out one thing to him as he left. "The waterfall John. You'll find your answers in the waterfall. And the way home..."