91.) Snake*
Given the very long list of allergies that he had, most would think that Jim would be slightly paranoid when he encountered new things. His crew knew better, they knew that Jim must have been born with very low instincts of self preservation. He had some small amount because he did listen to what others had to say, some of the time.
Which is why his crew developed varying degrees of paranoia when it came to their Captain and his allergies. None would come close to Bones, but there was one allergy the entire crew watched for with a wariness that was nearly feral.
Snakes.
It did not matter what breed of snake it was, if it had venom or not, a snake was not allowed within even a mile of him. He was only allowed near a zoo if security was provided for the snake exhibits to ensure none got loose.
When another ship's captain had visited the Enterprise for an inspection, he had brought a rubber snake in hopes to prove that Jim had been abusing his authority as Captain because of a simple dislike of snakes. He didn't know that Jim was allergic, he had only heard rumors of how the Enterprise crew went to extreme lengths to ensure snakes were not allowed any where near the vicinity of their captain.
He hadn't even fully pulled the snake from his pocket when he was tackled by four crew members, Spock slinging Kirk over his shoulder as he practically teleported to the opposite side of the room. It all happened in a matter of seconds, and before he could even voice his outrage at his treatment, Kirk's CMO hauled him to his feet and slammed him into the nearest wall.
"What the hell do you think you're playing at? Were you attempting to kill my Captain?"
"He's abusing his authority over a silly fear-"
"He's allergic! He's allergic to snakes, even the non-venomous ones. If that rattle snake hadn't been a fake and Jim had been bitten you would be faced with murder charges."
"Surely he would get the anti-venom in-"
"It would only kill him faster. Of all his allergies, snakes are the only ones I have been unable to find an alternate way to treat. Your inspection is done, Captain."
That incident had resulted in a memo sent to every ship that would ever come into contact with the Enterprise within the Federation stating that snakes of any kind were banned from being brought in contact with the crew. There was no punishment listed, but it would soon be known that those who ignored the ban were at the mercy of Kirk's crew. Even with the warnings and horror stories, there were those still foolish enough to try to sneak snakes aboard.
Although some of the attempts were more than annoying, the crew didn't really mind. It kept them sharp, something that was needed when it came to keeping their Captain safe. That wasn't even including the punishments, all of which provided excellent blackmail material that was used when needed. The Enterprise crew took care of their Captain, since as Bones would say, 'Jim wouldn't do it so someone has to'.
Written: 10-30-3011
Word Count: 535