CHAPTER 25 – CONFRONTING HER DEMONS

John stood with her looking out over Pearl Harbour, an integral part in American history. He had been here before, in her future, his past – and it was then as it was now, a sobering experience. Within the grounds of Pearl Harbor were a number of exhibits, displays, memorials, and museums, honoring not only the 1,177 victims of the Japanese attacks, but all of those who bravely served in World War II. Built over the wreckage of the USS Arizona, the Memorial was a sobering experience a place to come to pay their respects. The attacks on Pearl Harbor remained as one of the most significant, historic events in the history of the United States. What started out as an ordinary Sunday on the island of Oahu, quickly turned tragic, as two waves of Japanese fighter planes bombed and destroyed the peaceful harbor where the United States Pacific Fleet was stationed. The island of Oahu and the United States of America would never be the same, and instantly the country had became involved in World War II.

The Navy Brig here housed military prisoners from the combined navy and airforce units and it was here that the former Captain Terrence O'Neill was being held, having been stripped of his military rank and being held on charges of assault.

"You ready for his Gina? I'll be right there with you, but it's all up to you – I can only offer support."

Gina gripped his hand tightly and he noticed that she looked a little pale in the bright Hawaiian sun. "I won't lie John. It's not going to be easy. But I'll go through with it. I understand the importance and I can deal with it – I can. Just promise me this – when it's over, let's just go quickly. Somewhere else. So I can forget again..."

He hugged her then and nodded. "Let's go then. You dad has set the meeting up. He was due to come up for early release last month but turned the meeting down. They've agreed to give him another shot at the meeting if you can make a formal statement agreeing that he has reformed sufficiently to be released into society. His military rank will remain stripped but your father has petitioned for it to be kept under strict cover so that it doesn't taint young Jack's eventual entry into the airforce. He's had to pull some strings, and I didn't think he would do it, but the old man came through."

"I bet you don't have the guts to call him that to his face...?"

"Old man? Hell no... still value my balls sweetheart! And if he heard that one pass my lips, they'd be worthless... more or less..."

"Less I'm thinking. Regardless of what you think – my father is certainly no 'pussy cat'. Even if he has taken to you a little too quickly."

John had gotten the result he wanted. Some light patter had relaxed her and he saw the teasing light come into her eyes, pushing out some of the darkness that had been lurking there.

"Just as you have sweetheart... must run in the family..."

"Yeah John... it's called madness!" and she laughed as he chased her rather inappropriately, slowing to a more sedate stroll as they approached the Brig. From here on in all jokes would be put on hold.

This was a military prison, and while John fortunately carried military ID on him at all times when offworld in Atlantis and had been able to retrieve this from his tactical vest before this meeting, it was still a meeting that would be frowned upon by many and eyes would be on them – closely.

They waited in a small interview room and when Terrence O'Neill walked in, John was pensive, watching him a little warily and felt a feeling of surrealness – this was General Jack O'Neill's older brother. He didn't see a lot of family resemblence going on – would have passed him in the street and not even tossed him a second look. He saw too, that his own frank look was returned in spades and it was the sharpening of those brown eyes that brought the General to mind. Yep, there was an O'Neill in there all right...

Then his attention was all on the woman who sat at the table. Terrence had not been told who he was going to see, and he paled a little when he saw Gina sitting there. Coming to a stop in front of her he rubbed his hands along his pants legs as though already uncomfortable in her presence. It had been a year since he had seen her and in that year, he had come to many conclusions about himself. Incarceration, along with some very good counselling, had gone a long way in helping him see that he had been a poor excuse for a human being and an even poorer excuse for a man.

"Terry... you look well. Better than the last time I saw you, anyway..." Her greeting peetered out a little, as though she had suddenly lost her confidence. Under the table, John reached for and squeezed her hand in support and she sat up a little straighter. This man could not hurt her now, and she needed to move on with her life, and give him the chance to move on with his.

"I need to talk to you Terry. There's some things I need to say, and I'm sorry if they make you uncomfortable being said in the presence of someone else."

Terrence's eyes flicked to John, and there was a tiny spark of humour in them. Again, the O'Neill gene made it's irrespresible presence felt. "So Gina, are you going to introduce me to the 'some one else?"

"Colonel John Sheppard – he's a friend, here with me today for support."

"A friend...hmmm, yes I can see that. Sheppard? Where are you stationed? Not here in Hawaii I assume."

John's answer was guarded. "Recruited to NASA, test pilot..." which was essentially true, in another time line. And was rewarded with the instant respect that shot into the other man's eyes.

"Yeah, I hear the future is up there, what with the Mercury missions heating up. Good for you." His gaze flicked down to where he must have known their hands were joined under the table. "And looks as though you've helped Gina through some of the crap I put her through."

The pain flared in O'Neill's eyes. "Aaah Gina, if I could take back a moment in time – that would be it. I've never had the chance to apologise to you, I mean really apologise to you. I can't offer excuses for what I did, but I've had time to ponder the whys and wherefores in this past year and know that my drinking pushed me over the edge more than once. Been sober for that year now, so that feels like progress.."

"That's why I'm here Terry. I need to tell you that I've moved on, that while I can't understand why you did what you did, I have forgiven you – I'm past it now and can live my life without it always being in the way. And I can sit here and look at you and not feel fear or anger. I guess we all did a lot of soul searching in that year..."

He dropped down into the seat opposite them now and there was moisture in his eyes which he swiped quickly away. "I wish I could take it back – and losing you, hell – the worst thing really. I'm glad you've moved on.." again that flickered look to John when he said this, "you deserve happiness. I hate that I let your father down too – he trusted me as a friend and as an officer and I can't get that trust back. He was like a father to me."

Gina knew that this was where she could begin to turn the tide a little. "You have a father Terry, and a brother – both who miss you, I 'm sure."

John watched O'Neill's eyes soften at the mention of his family and knew that they had made the right call. He wasn't a bad man, just had made some bad choices in his life. And whatever the catalyst had been for his violence, John doubted that it was anything that his father had done. Likely something he was born with. General Mitchell was right in that respect. Violence is not learned, but it can be unlearned and with the right treatment, O'Neill could learn to control his. But a military situation was not the right one for him.

"My father contacted me last week. He wants to bring JJ out for a visit in October. Said that Chicago's starts to get cold around then, and they could do with the break, celebrate the kid's birthday here in the sun. I told him no – didn't want him seeing me in prison like this – not my kid brother either. Bad enough he has to know I'm here – I don't want JJ to see me here."

At the mention of October John wanted nothing more than to jump up and leave the room – let things stand. That way, the family were not in Hawaii in October and the father did not get killed in the same accident as Gina. He looked at her now, connections, threads... here in this room were the tendrils of that great ball and he was attempting to tie yet more knots into the yarn. He sighed and knew that he had to do this and squeezed Gina's hand lightly. It was her show.

And she proved to be a stunning actress, taking the stage now with no rehearsal and no real knowledge of the role she played. Her act would have brought a broadway producer to his knees as she played out the first act, the one that would save the life of one Jonathon Jack O'Neill.

"I've talked to some people Terry, and my father agrees with me. You're ready for early release. You've come a long way during your counselling and I don't want to see a good life ruined. You say your dad and JJ are coming out to visit? Let them come, but make sure you're out of this brig before they do. Show them Hawaii, and show them that you've turned your life around. There's a job waiting for you – civillian pilot – my dad has already talked you up to them and they'll take you on his recommendation. Will you do this for me Terry?"

He pushed back from the table now. "Why are you doing this for me Gina? I don't deserve your forgiveness or any help from you or your family. Not after what I did to you."

"I'm doing this as much for your family as for you Terry. They deserve a son who aspires to be the person he should be. I saw good in you when we were together. That's still there, and you've managed to control...the other. Go out and live your life and make your family proud of you again. And when they come and see you later in the year, enjoy them.. family is our future in more ways than you can ever possibly begin to understand."

O'Neill shot her a surprised look, no doubt a little taken back by her impassioned words and saw something then, in her eyes that had him quickly shuttering his own. He wouldn't question any further her motives for doing what she did. He was an astute man and knew that other forces were perhaps at work here. But he'd not let any more people down and would take the opportunity that was being placed firmly in his path. His face softened.

"Thank you Gina, for believing in me again. That means more than you can imagine. I wish you only the best also, for your life..." and blinked in surprise when tears started to fall from her eyes. He went to move towards her then stopped at John's look. Sheppard had been the silent type up until now, but O'Neill saw the steely glint in his eye. This was his woman now, and while Gina and her father may have let bygones be bygones, he saw by one look that this man would not be so forgiving. One move wrong and Sheppard would be over him like a hurricane out of control. He saw the tightly coiled emotions in the man, knew when to back down.

"Gina – time to go. You've done what you came here for. It's done now. In place..." The words were odd to O'Neill's ears and he tried to piece things together. In place? Odd, for suddenly, things seemed incredibly out of place as though there had been a subtle shift in the earth's axis and his world had moved slightly off centre. Odd. He looked at the other man, really looked at him and saw the suddenly slightly blurred outline. Blinked and that was gone. Odd. And looked deep into his eyes as he passed him holding Gina now, to leave the room and what he saw there made him shiver. This man had been to hell and back and seen a lifetime and then some. The eyes being windows to the soul? Hell, this man's soul was ancient...