A/N: Endless thanks to my PTB betas Melanie Mcsc2008 and Say Goodbye Again. I would have given up on this story long ago if it wasn't for PTB's awesome betas!
If I was damned of body and soul,
I know whose prayers would make me whole,
Mother o' mine, O mother o' mine.
~Rudyard Kipling.
My son was gone. A nightmare I had hoped never to relive. He had left us once before, during the days when there were just the three of us. He had broken my heart that time, forcing me to replay the crushing loss of my biological son.
It was excruciating to have to go through this yet again. How many times would Carlisle and I have to lose this son? My husband's ever-present peace was shattered. He did mourning of his own, and being head of the family, he also worried about the rest of us.
Jasper blamed himself for the accident at the birthday party. I could see what this was doing to the most perceptive of my children. He was being consumed by his own remorse. If a vampire could turn into a ghost, my son was on his way to it. My unbeating heart bled every time I was near him.
Alice's bright light had been extinguished; her chirping laughter hadn't graced us in too long. She never spoked of shopping trips or extravagant parties anymore. The impish spirit that kept us all hectically active was subdued.
Emmett's buoyant sense of humor was missing, too. His frequently objectionable jokes were absent, and his booming laughter, so different from Alice's yet as beloved, had been silenced since Edward's departure.
Even Rosalie was affected. Although she tried to maintain a cool demeanor, I could see through the cracks in my complex daughter's aloof façade.
I myself was torn. I couldn't tell what hurt me more, my missing son or the breach that had been wrought in our family.
I tried to keep a tranquil countenance for my children's and my husband's sakes, but I broke down when no one was watching. There was a hollow in my chest that not even Carlisle's love could heal, and knowing that his grief was as vast as mine only wounded me further.
Yet, all we could do was hold onto each other and hope against hope that this painful situation would somehow sort itself out. I wanted to believe my dear Edward would still get his happy ending…somehow.
"Come back home, son," I whispered to the empty room.