A/N: Thanks to my PTB betas for this chapter, .x and Edwardsfavoritebrunette.
Chagrin washed through me for the first time in my entire existence. It burned almost as angrily as the venom-induced fire. And I wanted to escape it just as badly.
I was hiding away, not wanting to be found for a wide range of reasons. First and foremost, I didn't fancy being seen in this condition. I knew my pride wouldn't survive the shame of having others know that I was terribly sorry for what I'd done. I didn't want to be sorry.
How could I have known that deranged Edward cared so much for his plain human girlfriend that he wouldn't want to live without her? Hadn't he abandoned her already? Edward never made any sense.
It infuriated me that my mother and father, two of the few people who loved me unconditionally, were now being put through the worst kind of heartbreak they would ever endure: not knowing if their son would ever come back home.
Worst of all, I was sorry that the insignificant human girl I'd underestimated and despised all this time was the one fixing the mess I'd caused. She was the one selflessly risking her human life by throwing herself in the midst of a murderous coven of vampires. Which, given her magnetism for disaster, had every chance of turning into a massacre.
I'd rather have walked into a bonfire than let anyone know how I felt. And I hated the guilt – it was so unlike me. I wasn't the kind of person who beat herself up for doing what needed to be done. I did it, and that was that.
Damn Edward and his theatrical tendencies for getting me into this state. Why couldn't the fool just come back home and let things be, take up where we'd left off before the human showed up, move away and be a family again? Selfish Edward, always so full of himself, eternally letting his needs come first.
But still, a nagging little voice whispered, I didn't know how I was going to live with myself if he died because of what I'd done. A fresh wave of the corrosive chagrin burned my insides every time I pictured one of the many scenarios that could unfold, all of which ended with the Volturi shredding him to pieces.
I wished, uncharacteristically, that I could sleep for a few hours. Disappear. Fade into oblivion. Immortality and awareness were a curse, more now than ever.