South: Hey, sorry for not being here for a while. But I'm back!

Hailley: 'Bout darned time.

South: Hey, where's Gizz?

Hailley: It's Makorial Weekend. What do you think?

South: Oh. *Face palm* Well, I got some things to say before we get to the story. A) 76 hits. 3 reviews. What's wrong with this picture?

Hailley: A lot. Where's the love?

South: *Nods* Yes. There is a disturbing lack of reviews. What happened to JKDD? Smiley? I can understand if you've been busy, and I don't require that you review. But I want you to. Is that too much to ask for?

Hailley: Maybe it's because your use of French.

South: Oh! Sorry, if that's why you guys left. I usually only use that kind of language if I'm really mad or something. I know CP is for 6-14 year olds, and I respect that.

Hailley: I was nearly 11 myself when I came to CP.

South: And I was 10 when I was first introduced to CP, through the real-life Gizz. But if you see "French" in any of my A/N's and you're under 12/13, just scroll down. You're not missing much.

Hailley: Also, we're both upset by nobody pointing out any references. Do you not get any of them? South even points out out some of them.

South: Come on, people and penguins! I have chocolate chip cookies here! Tons of them, in fact! Just review! I know you're out there, and I'm not psychic!

Hailley: And someone forgot the disclaimer last chapter. Can someone do it, other than me?

South: Uh, sure. How about a new character coming in a few chappies? Jennifer?

Jennifer: Hey, my fellow penguins! South doesn't own Club Penguin or any of the characters. She does own Hailley, her mind, her sanity, a computer, her attitude, and me. Gizz is owned by South's real friend, whose name I am not saying. Happy reading! Also, try to guess what connection I have to one of the characters.

EPF-CP-EPF-CP-EPF-CP-EPF-CP-EPF-CP-EPF-CP

The Coffee Machine is EVIL

It was just an average Saturday morning, an evil Satoday for me. At least, that's I thought. Strolling from the grey metal thing you weird penguins call an elevator, (Why is it called an elevator if it goes up and down? Hmm.) I heard screaming from my favorite psychic.

"DIE YOU STUPID MACHINE! AND DON'T YOU DARE BLOW STEAM AT ME! I WILL TEAR YOU APART!" Gizz was hopping mad – literally. I couldn't see Rookie, and McEmo Sunglasses (Not a grammar mistake) was staring in disbelief at the psycho psychic.

"Hi, Hailley," Rookie squeaked, peeping out from under the table.

Sunglasses twisted around and said in his famous monotone (Which I hate…), "Gizz is going mad."

Quirking my eyebrow, I retorted, "So I see…" Then sighing, I continued in a low voice, "Looks like I will have to fix it. Again."

Glancing over at the now magenta faced penguin, Rookie yelped as he got up from under the table, "What is she doing to the coffee machine?"

"I'd have to agree with Rookie here…" Guess who said it.

"Those are standard EPF-style coffee machine assault tactics, guys... She's fine."

"You sure?" And I thought Jet was usually silent.

"Well, I'm hoping I'm right," I grimaced as Gizz started saying Spanish to the poor machine. Oh, wait: French = dirty words. Spanish = words like darn, shoot, the like.

"GRRRRRR!" Gizz stomped over to the table and plopped down in a seat. "That stupid machine!" She turned to me, and whined, "Why do you have to keep on fixing it? We all know that if G can't make it work, you should stop fixing it!"

"That's only because you keep on hitting it. If you would stop doing that, maybe it wouldn't be broken all the time."

"But its evil." The psychic's eyes were oddly shaped as she leaned towards me. (Or, in other words, o.O)

I narrowed my eyes. "Right, and pigs will fly." I walked over the beaten machine only to be blasted away by really hot steam.

"YOWCH!" Landing face forward on the floor, I groaned in pain.

Rookie gasped, "Hailley! Are you okay?"

Arching my eyebrows skywards, I snapped, awkwardly standing up, "NO, I'm not! I just got blasted by a coffee machine with stinkin' hot steam! Do you THINK I'm okay?"

Rookie backed away from me, "Just asking."

EPF-CP-EPF-CP-EPF-CP-EPF-CP-EPF-CP-EPF-CP

About 15 minutes later, I wasn't feeling any better.

Turning to the rest of my co-workers, I squawked, "This coffee machine is evil!"

Gizz smirked, and smugly said, "What did I tell you?"

G slid past me all of a sudden. Taking a double take, I cried, "G! When did you get here? Wait, don't go near that machine! It will put you in a coma! It's EVIL!"

G ignored me as he whipped out a wrench.

"What is he doing…" Rookie tilted his head to his left, "Doesn't he realize that it'll hurt him?"

"Apparently not," Gizz whispered loudly.

In a matter of seconds, the coffee machine was back to normal. Don't you just hate it when things go bad for you, but behave when someone else does the same thing you did?

"Oh, sure; you hurt me every way possible when I try to fix you, and then when he comes and repairs you, you act like a good little machine!" I bent my flipper towards my eyes, then to the darned coffee machine. (Think of the 'I'm watching you' gesture. . I'm bad at describing things. =P)

Then, the darned machine decides to be a rebel. (Rebel yell! Yeah, yeah! XD) Blasting steam at me, you could see evil written all over the thing.

Whipping my flippers in front of me, the steam turned to water, but it didn't help my case. If anything, it made it worse. Flying over the three little steps, I crashed near the hologram entrance.

"See, G? The machine is EVIL!" I stood up, feeling anger take over me, inch by inch. "I'm telling you! It just blew me away like a fly! All because of you, G! You've made me fix that stupid thing ever since I joined the PSA! The PSA! What's that, three or so years? And now it HATES ME!"

Rookie decides to take that moment to interrupt me before I can glow it up. "You know, she does have a point."

"Thank you, Rookie. Now I'm outta here before that evil device can injure me further. Good day, for now." Taking out my spy phone, I disappear into the light.

EPF-CP-EPF-CP-EPF-CP-EPF-CP-EPF-CP-EPF-CP

South: I've been waiting to do this for a long time. Whenever I hear or see 'Coffee machine' in Club Penguin, I instantly think 'It's EVIL!' And, yes, that is a reference right there.

Hailley: South even says it in one of the descriptions of our supernatural agents. You said it in Gizz's bio, right?

South: Yeah, I think so. So yeah, review. Just say 'Hi'. I'll hop around the house even if it's one letter. Reviews are love. And sarcasm. You gotta have it. Oh, and Teacon: When are ya gonna PM me? It's been like a month since you said that. Been busy?