CHAPTER 26

Chuck felt ridiculous. Utterly, absolutely ridiculous. But god Sarah looked good in the Orange Orange uniform. He never imagined he would be he preferred it to the Wienerlicious one.

While she pulled off the orange hairband, tank top and white capris Chuck felt like an idiot in white trousers and an orange polo. He didn't mind the orange chucks both wore, but was reluctant to take off the pale blue hoodie, acting like it was some kind of security blanket that would hide how he looked. Casey got to act as the manager, so was fine wearing a navy button shirt and blue jeans and sitting in his office where he was probably spending most of his time watching them even though they were ten feet away.

It was nice getting the chance to work beside Sarah, even if it was fairly boring. After the first two days there hadn't been many customers, so they had struggled to find ways to pass the time. The third afternoon they'd spent two hours flicking gummi bears across the counter at one another, Sarah hitting him about a dozen times for each one he landed. The next day they had decided to have a snack together, and when they both went to use the machines beside each other it resulted in them sitting there for five minutes seeing who could make the largest pile of yogurt in their cup and two large puddles of yogurt on the floor when Casey came out yelling at them for wasting tax payers dollars.

To Sarah their antics were the only thing she enjoyed about the cover. She didn't mind anything else, but none of it was anywhere near as enjoyable as seeing that spark in Chuck's eyes as he decided to slip into some game to alleviate her boredom. He seemed surprisingly fine with the long periods of inactivity, his mind clearly drifting elsewhere until he'd pick up on her leaning against the counter sighing and suddenly he'd piece together some silent challenge and lift her mood.

That's why it took her a while to realize in the middle of their second week that he hadn't done that. In fact he'd been wiping the same table for almost five minutes before she grabbed a gummi worm and held one end while pulling on the other as if it were a rubber band she was ready to fire his way. She must have held that position for a minute without him noticing, so finally just flung a gummi bear across the room at his head.

Chuck kept wiping the table as he reached up and pulled the gummi bear from his curls. Rolling her eyes she rounded the counter and smacked his shoulder, "Chuck!"

He looked up surprised. "Huh? What?"

"Are you okay?"

She watched him start to put on a smile and fail. "I, um…"

"What's on your mind?" she asked, taking the rag and gummi bear from his hands, throwing them onto the counter.

"A lot of government secrets," he said with a hollow laugh.

"Been holding onto that one, hm?" She asked crossing her arms.

Chuck nodded. "I guess the question isn't as common as I'd hoped."

"So answer it. What's up? You're distracted."

He was. He couldn't deny it. "A lot on my mind, I guess." Seeing Sarah smirk at him he realized what he'd said and laughed. "Not like that. Just… I don't know. Something I'm considering and I'm not sure how I want to handle it."

Sarah shifted her waist slightly. "Anything I can help with?"

You're the problem, he thought while smiling. "I think this is the kind of choice I have to make myself first."

"Whatever it is you can tell me, Chuck?"

"You sure?" He asked wary, though she picked up a hint of humor.

"Whatever you need."

Chuck took a breath, turning to her and taking his hands in hers. "I'm Batman." Sarah rolled her eyes as he smirked. "When you guys aren't around I sneak out at night, put on the cowl and cape, and get to work."

"I'm glad you told me," she said shaking her head but smiling. "Think you can show me your car?"

"I don't know if you can handle it." Sarah squeezed his hands a bit too tight and glared at him. "Okay, okay, sorry. Jeez."

"Come on, what is it really?" she asked taking her hands from his and walking back toward the counter.

Looking up she found him staring at her for a moment, then he walked around the front of the counter to lean against it directly opposite her. "What do you think I should do about the detector and reflector?"

She hadn't expected that. "What?"

He couldn't ask her the real thing, but he could ask something else he'd thought about. "I want to make them to help people, but I also don't want to make too many. I don't want people to use them against us. But I also was considering looking into getting a patent and setting up a thing where the government could pay to use it. That way I have some kind of income to support the company even if we can't find customers."

Sarah actually felt a bit blindsided, wishing she'd been the one to suggest something like that to him, and yet was proud he'd thought of it. "I think that's a good idea. It will give us a legitimate tie to the government and a reason to have some contacts there beyond just the covers for me and Casey."

"But what if other people find out about it, make their own or buy it off them or something?"

Sarah frowned. "Well we could limit it by selling only to certain agencies. Keep it from being something common enough they wouldn't notice it missing. Keep the quantity limited."

"I just don't want to be Tony Stark." Seeing her confusion he said, "You know, Iron Man? The movie-never mind. It's about a guy who got rich selling weapons but ends up trapped in cave building weapons for terrorist using his weapons to kill people, so he makes a suit of power armor to get out and fight bad guys. We should definitely watch it."

"How about tonight?"

Chuck grinned. "Sure. Ellie and Devon are working a late shift so we can have a movie night before they leave."

Though Sarah hadn't planned on it to be a cover date she wasn't going to turn down the excuse. "Perfect."

It was a bit tight but the doctors made it through the whole movie before departing, leaving Chuck and Sarah alone to clean up. Though he'd enjoyed the movie, Chuck found himself coming back to the ending. Just as it had when he saw it the first time he found the ending to be the biggest, boldest moment in the whole movie.

They could have let him keep his secret identity and the movie still would have been really good, but they took a chance and it made the movie great by ending with him telling the world he was Iron Man. It was the right choice, the one Chuck always wanted to see. He wanted to see Bruce Wayne come out and admit to the world he was Batman, because while it might be a bit dangerous he was still a billionaire vigilante whose best friend was an invincible alien who co-lead a cabal of the greatest superheroes on the planet. Why couldn't Spider-Man tell Mary Jane or Aunt May who he was? Wouldn't them knowing just mean they could prepare themselves better if something did happen?

Shutting off the faucet Chuck made his way to his room calling out, "I'll be right back."

Looking over from where she was sat on the couch watching the news with a glass of wine, Sarah nodded. "Okay." Turning back to the TV she didn't notice him come back into the room with his new, sleek bug detector. He went through the kitchen before walking into the living room and waving it around, giving a nod before he set it on the half kitchen counter.

"Sarah," Chuck said walking to the dining table

"Yeah?" She asked, putting an arm on the back of the couch as she turned to look at him.

"You remember that thing we talked about today? The choice I have to make? I made it."

Sarah beamed as she set the glass on the coffee table and got off the couch. She noticed he was gripping the back of a chair as if he might float away without it. "You did?"

"I did, and I need to ask you a favor," he said with a shaky breath.

"What is it?" she asked walking to the chair opposite him.

"I need you to give me a chance to explain everything. There's a lot but I swear I had my reasons. I'm sorry for so much I promise I'll explain as much as I can. I-I won't ask you to forgive me if you can't, but hopefully I can help you understand."

Sarah felt short of breath. "Is this about whatever's in the closet?"

Chuck smirked. "You didn't forget."

"I saw you take the vent off for Ellie's ring," she admitted.

"Of course you looked," Chuck said shaking his head and smiling. "You're a spy."

"I'm sorry-"

"Don't," he said quickly meeting her gaze. "I'm the one who has to say that here, not you… but that's a good place to start. So, why don't I show you what's in there?"

Sarah gave a single nod and followed him into his room where he took a knee and began unscrewing the vent.

"Can I ask you something, Sarah?"

"Of course."

"Do you know who came for my desktop the day after I got the Intersect?" When she didn't answer Chuck looked over and found her cheeks slightly flush and gaze off to the side. "It was you?" He laughed, looking back to the vent, "Well I'm glad you didn't check here that night."

Sarah frowned at the realization this secret was different than she'd thought if it went back before the Intersect. Holding the closet door frame she watched him remove the plastic board from the vent before removing a pair of laptops.

"You had other computers stored in there?"

"Only one at the time," Chuck said standing up and walking past her. He set his beside the pillows while holding up the sleek black one with coolant piping along the exterior. "Orion sent me this one before Christmas."

"What?" She walked over to the bed as he set the laptop on the foot of his bed.

"He also made this for me," he said holding out his wrist and tapping his watch. "He called it a Governor. It keeps the Intersect from overheating my brain and driving me insane."

"Is that…" Sarah looked from the watch to him, eyes widening briefly. "That can happen?"

"He said with this version of the Intersect it would take a long time and happen slowly. At first the flashes would start to show like small seizures, but in time I'd start to have nightmares which would become full blown hallucinations before developing into dementia as my brain melted and shut down completely. The only reason I haven't developed any of that yet is because the Intersect I have only flashes on small intel packets instead of larger, more complex pieces of knowledge."

"How did you…" Sarah shook her head. "Chuck, Orion could be dangerous."

"He's not, Sarah," he said shaking his head. "He's on my side. He always has been. Bryce told me that and he was right. Orion never asked me for anything. In fact…" Chuck looked into her eyes, flooded with shock, anger, confusion, sorrow and other things he couldn't place. "He's said he's working on a way to take it out of my head."

"He can do it?" She stepped toward him, the anger giving way to something brighter. "It's possible?"

"I also asked him to work on a kind of upgrade for me. He said originally the Intersect was meant to let people learn things quickly, stuff like a language or something. He said it would make the government want to control me more but I want to be able to help more so I asked him to look into it."

"Chuck you should be focusing on getting it out," she said grabbing his shoulder. "Don't worry about helping us more. You already do so much. We need to make sure you're safe and you're safest when it's out."

"It's not that easy though," he told her. "The upgrade can help me stay relevant while he works on the removal. At least it should. It might keep them from getting rid of me when the new one is online. I haven't heard from him since he sent the Governor, but he said Fulcrum's been hunting him for years and the CIA have been hunting him even longer."

"They have?" Sarah frowned as she took a step back and sat on the edge of his bed. "Why?"

"He didn't say, but…" Chuck gulped. "He did tell me the person who killed Morgan was there because he found out about me and my sister and wanted to help us somehow, but people found out and thought they could get to him through me."

Sarah's lips sank more. To think all that happened to him because someone wanted to help him. "Oh, Chuck…"

"He said the person who killed Morgan, they were probably CIA."

In a snap Sarah's sorrow turned to anger. "They were?"

"They were looking for him. They probably wanted him to work on their Intersect but he left. When they thought they could use me to get to him they tried and… Morgan died."

"Oh god," Sarah shook her head, looking up to Chuck. The CIA had hurt him. The people she devoted her life to had hurt this man. "I'm so sorry."

He smirked, reaching down to squeeze her shoulder while shaking his head. "I told you already, you don't have to say that. I'm the one who's sorry. I'm sorry I didn't tell you he contacted me. I honestly can't say I have a good reason beyond I thought you'd tell Beckman and Graham, and with all the stuff with Graham I'm not sure what he'd do if he found out."

Graham had done a lot for her, but Sarah could only nod. "I understand." Putting her hand over his on her shoulder she said, "You should've told me, but with how things were around that time, with how I was, I don't blame you. I know you said I don't have to, but I am sorry for making things harder than they had to be at the time."

"We're not done yet," Chuck said with a laugh, gently pulling his hand from her shoulder. "That was the little lie. Not the one that I'm a bit ashamed to admit or the big one, really."

"There's more?" she slid back on the bed, tucking a leg beneath her. "What else?"

"I…" How the hell was he going to do this? He groaned, turning and pacing the room before finally walking over to his desk chair and sinking into it. "I'm going to preface this by saying I swear I only flashed on your ring and your French cover Casey told me."

"Okay," she said shaking her head.

"I've never seen anything else in your file," he said before biting the bullet to say, "but I lied about how I found out Graham recruits people in high school. I-I also lied about flashing on Casey. I only flashed on him because I was already readying his file after I hacked into the CIA and NSA databases."

Sarah's eyes widened, turning toward him more. "When?"

"After I destroyed all the bugs in the apartment. That was when I saw Galina's file and flashed on her. I had a couple hundred other files open and hers were one of them I just happened to see."

"That's why you wouldn't tell us," She said leaning her head back. It seemed so obvious now. But then her head snapped forward, a flicker of fear in her eyes. "Did you-"

"Never!" He held up his hands. "I-I thought about it, I was looking at the link to it but I already felt so awful about looking at Casey's and I thought about what it would mean and… I want you to tell me about that stuff because you want me to know. And I wasn't angry at you like I was at him. I couldn't make myself hurt you like that or do that to you."

Though initially relieved, Sarah was also touched by the sentiment behind it. "Thank you."

"Don't," he said miserably, "because I kinda screwed up and saw something I didn't want to."

Biting back the worry grasping at her throat she asked, "What was it?"

"I'll explain why afterward, I promise, but I was… I was looking into someone and it turned out to be someone the CIA had been after. When I checked their file it-it mentioned he was investigated by the CAT Squad."

Sarah's eyes widened and she looked mortified. "The CAT Squad?"

Chuck took her expression as some kind of anger or disappointment, his misery growing as he sank into his chair somewhat. "I didn't know what they were, so I looked them up and saw Carina and before I realized it I saw you too. I swear I never meant to, I was making a point of avoiding stuff about you, but I had to tell you because I think I have a way to find out who betrayed you."

The anger she felt at the invasion of her privacy and the thoughts of the whole mess with Zondra, as well as the embarrassment she felt at the idea of him knowing about her CAT days vanished. "How?"

"I, um, I figured I'd already slipped up so I decided I'd look into the whole Gaez thing and help you make things right since clearly you never caught him."

"He was always a step ahead of us," she said with an almost Casey-esque grunt. "We found a bug in the boot of another member but she denied it was hers. She was cleared so we agreed to put it behind us but things were never right after."

"I know, I read the files," he admitted sheepishly. "Which is how I cleared Carina."

"You did?" He was relieved to see her smile at that.

"Yeah. I-I did some analysis on one of your mission in Milan. Gaez escaped before you girls ever made it to Italy, but he was tipped off from a CIA safe house in Milan. Carina was in the US. I read you were supposed to be there but never checked in, and obviously you weren't the traitor, so that means whoever else was there is the traitor."

Sarah gaped, smiling briefly as the confidence in his voice as he said she obviously wasn't the traitor. "I was never there. I got a call to stay in Paris."

"So that means it was either Amy or Zondra," he concluded.

Sarah shook her head. "I found the bug in Zondra's boot. We used to be so close, but after everything I couldn't trust her and she was upset that I thought it was her."

"Well now I kind of hope it's Amy," Chuck said with a laugh.

"Why's that?"

"Zondra was your friend," Chuck said as though it were obvious. "If it was Amy then maybe you two can be friends again."

"And if it's not?"

"Well then you're vindicated." Chuck shrugged, clearly not as enthused by the prospect of Zondra being the mole. "I noticed that Gaez has a hotel he owns under one of his pseudonyms. Every so often one of the suites is booked under a fake name. It's one of the most expensive rooms, but they don't get the income for it. Every time there's some kind of holiday or event that room is booked by someone who doesn't exist and the hotel is short exactly the amount charged to the room. So my theory is it's Gaez booking that room for himself and his informant."

"It could just be a mistress."

"Except Amy and Zondra have both had gaps in their records consistent with some of the days. It doesn't all line up, but it also wouldn't be too hard for either of them to slip away. There's not enough for me to say which one, but maybe we could stake it out." Chuck saw her debating it so he leaned forward saying, "For all we know they could be Fulcrum."

Sarah chuckled and shook her head. "And you wondered if you could be an analyst?"

"I already screwed up so I had to make it worth it."

"Was this your choice then? To tell me or not?"

"Kind of." Chuck pushed off the chair and stood, walking in front of her so she turned to face him. "I… The choice was whether to help you like this… Or to help you as The Piranha."

Sarah's face fell. "What?" He motioned to the computer by his pillow. Sarah glanced at it then returned to staring up at him.

"I'm the Piranha," he said clearly, meeting her eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you but… I couldn't. I was terrified you'd tell your bosses and either they'd arrest me or the people I go after would find out and come after Ellie." Seeing the shock on her face as she started putting things together, Chuck explained, "You're the third person to know about this and the second I've ever told. Orion found out on his own and the person I told is… dead. And back then The Piranha wasn't anything special. Just what I did to mess around in high school. Ellie's never known."

"So all that time…"

"I never told her." He shook his head. "I know she'd be worried and make me stop. Besides all the government agencies after me, so are everyone I've taken money from and sent in evidence for, all the people who knew them or are just afraid I'll do it to them too. If she knew she'd be as terrified as I am about them coming for us, but I know I can help so I have to."

Sarah got to her feet, her heels making her almost level with him. "Why did you start?"

"After Morgan I saw a report on some people caught in the crossfire so went after the people who shot them, made them poor and donated the money to a couple hospitals, including the one working on the victims. After that it just kind of grew more and more until people started to notice, then once they spotted a few similarities to the Piranha's old work they put it together and I made the news. So I went with it, started making it more obvious I was involved so maybe I could scare some people."

Sarah looked at the floor and laughed somberly. "And you're telling me now because of Gaez?"

"Because I don't want to be the Piranha anymore, Sarah," he said quietly. She looked up and found his eyes glassy, a shaky smile on his lips. "For years he was the only good thing about my life. The only thing I did that mattered, but that's not true anymore. The stuff we do, the work we do is good. Real, honest good, and I'm a part of it. Not the Piranha but Chuck Bartowski.

"I'm not just that loser who failed his entire life and never did anything worth a damn. For you and Casey at least I'm... I'm the guy that got the computer in his head and stopped a bomb with porn, or-or tricked a DEA agent into stealing a rock, or convinced a Chinese spy to defect for her brother. The guy who gave his sister an antidote instead of saving himself. The guy who broke a billionaire's nose and crashed a wedding by falling out of a hotel window into a pool while tied to an NSA agent.

"I'm telling you because I don't need the Piranha anymore," Chuck said exhaling, letting his lips stretch into a smile. "I'm not alone anymore. I have you."

Sarah stared into his eyes for seconds until she stepped forward grabbing his jaw and pulling him into a kiss. The relief flooding Chuck surpassed even the shock as he'd never expected this. He'd been prepared for her to be pissed, to arrest him and drag him over to Casey's, but not this. Once he felt her tongue brush against his lip again his eyes closed and he pulled her into him, returning the kiss.

Her right hand had slipped between his curls while her left wrapped around him, pulling him as close as she could. His hands had found their way to her jaw and the small of her back, feeling as if he was almost cradling her. It all felt tender compared to the desperation that fed their first kiss, taking their times as they let their lips caress each other. The warm that grew in her stretched through her skin, leaving her flushed and short of breath. Feeling his hand push up the hem of her shirt, cooling her exposed skin before he left burning streaks trailing his fingers as they brushed along her spine.

With a shiver she stepped back, but once she felt the mattress against the back of her legs her eyes snapped open and she thrust her palms into Chuck's chest. He flew back against the wall, bouncing off it with a grunt.

Sarah's hands quickly covered her mouth and she took a step toward him. "I'm sorry!"

Chuck quickly waved his hands and shook his head. "No, no, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

"Chuck," she sighed. "I shouldn't have kissed you."

"I went overboard," he said thinking of how soft she felt on his fingers. "I pushed it and I'm sorry."

"I shouldn't have pushed you like that," she said sinking back to sit on the bed with a sigh.

Chuck pressed his back to the wall and sank toward the ground. When she looked at him he flashed her a smile, pinning her with his gaze as he told her, "It was worth it."

All the anguish seemed to vanish as she smiled, then it returned. "I can't let that happen again, Chuck. I have to be professional about this otherwise I could mess up and my messing up means your life is at risk."

Though disappointed, Chuck could only nod. "I don't agree but I get it."

"You don't agree?" She said looking over to him.

"Not at all. I think there's a good chance it would make us better."

"That's not how it works. There's a reason they want us to avoid being emotionally involved with people we're meant to protect. It's lets us be objective."

"But it doesn't invest you," he argued, sitting forward. "How much harder do people fight when they care about something or someone? Isn't that better than just being objective? When things get hard objective people abandon things they could still save. The ones who care are the ones who at least know they tried, even if they don't succeed, but sometimes they do. Sometimes they're better for it."

Maybe she just wanted him to be right, but she found it hard to argue. "I still can't. If anyone found out or even thought I was compromised by an asset they'd reassign me."

"And neither of us want that," he asked with a hint of hope, "right?"

Sarah smirked and nodded. "Right."

Chuck sighed in relief, leaning his head back against the wall. "So things just go back to how they were?"

"I don't think they can," she said solemnly. "Not just for this but… You're the Piranha, Chuck."

"At least that got through." She threw one of his pillows at him, making him wince before picking it off his lap and sticking it between his head and the wall.

"That's big, Chuck. Even if we don't tell anyone that there's still the Orion stuff and Gaez."

"There is one other thing," Chuck said, and when she glared at him again he held ups his hands, "not a secret. No more secrets. The opposite, in fact. I just… I want to tell Ellie some version of the truth."

"If she knows anything-"

"She can be prepared," he said before she could go into the usual line. "I know you said don't tell them anything to keep them safe, but think about it. If something did happen to her now she'd be caught off guard. How easy would it be for someone to trick her, make her tell them something about us or even convince her we're bad guys? If we told her then she'd at least know that kind of stuff is possible, she'd know that if something does happen she can come to us and we'll protect her."

Sarah sighed. "If she knows something they'll figure it out and force her to talk."

"Or if she knows nothing they'll still torture her, but if she knew it was possible she might be able to tell when someone's questioning her about that kind of stuff and warn us." Seeing her hesitate Chuck said, "Look, if you really want I'll skip the Intersect stuff. I figured we could just tell her I'm an asset or an analyst, but if you really don't want to I can accept that… but I want to tell her about The Piranha."

It was then she realized he told her first. Before Casey, even before his own sister, the woman who raised him, Chuck told her his biggest secret. "I can't tell you it's okay to tell her about our work together, Chuck. We're not the only ones affected by that."

Chuck's brow arched as he picked up on her wording. "So if Casey agreed?"

Sarah shrugged. "I see the sense in it."

Grinning, Chuck sat up, pulling the pillow from behind his head. "And The Piranha stuff?"

"That's your secret to tell."

"But you'll be there with me?"

Beaming, Sarah asked, "Is that what you want?"

Nodding he answered, "It'd help to have someone who can defend me when she starts strangling me."

Getting to her feet, Sarah held out her hand. "Don't worry, Chuck. Whatever happens I'm on your side."

Chuck took her hand, letting her help him to his feet and throwing the pillow on the bed. "And I'm here for you." His hand shifted, interlacing their fingers as he looked into her eyes with a solemn smile. "Whenever you're ready, however long it takes, whatever you need, I'm here for you."

AN:

I'm always a big fan of a lack of secret identities, or at least open honesty with allies in stories, if only because it's so uncommon. I always think stuff like will they won't they type stuff, keeping secrets, etc. can be crutches people use to add tension and make things interesting instead of developing the characters or having interesting plots. So whenever a story doesn't have those aspects it's at least interesting to see how they handle it.