Dreamt

Chapter 5

AN: For those who read already: just one small addition at the end of this chapter.

One day, they went to the river. The water was freezing cold, but in full summer heat, it was exactly what Sakura needed. The whole thing was her idea, she wanted to go swimming. The river was fast and shallow, more a mountain stream than anything else, but by the steep stone face it formed a basin large enough to swim a bit.

So they did - Madara shirtless, Sakura in all her clothes because her self-confidence definitely didn't go that far. But apart from that, she felt surprisingly at ease. It was like playing after school a long time ago with her classmates. They were slipping on wet stones, shuddering at coldness of the water, climbing on the surface only to release the chakra from their feet and plunge down…

"Did you use to come here with your brothers?

"No." And when Sakura thought he wouldn't say anything more, he added. "With Hashirama."

Before she could process, Madara stepped on the water surface and pulled her up.

"Come, over there." And he started running up the rock face. It was high. When they reached the top, the river seemed rather far away. Madara stretched out his arms.

'"When I was a kid I never dared to jump from here."

He picked up the momentum and plunged head down. Sakura almost screamed. But the parabola he flew was very clean and he resurfaced unhurt to her great relief.

"You are crazy! You had no idea if it was deep enough!"

"It was deep enough!" He had to yell as well for her to hear.

"Still!"

"Forget it and jump yourself!"

"No way!"

In response, Madara started running back up the cliff.

"Oh no, no. I am not jumping in there with you." Sakura put up a vehement protest. The moment he emerged from behind the edge his intent was very easy to read. Madara took two steps towards her, grinning widely.

"I will catch you anyhow." Step. "And if you don't cooperate…" Step. "We won't jump far enough." Another step and a firm grasp on her wrist. "And then it can get dangerous…"

Sakura shook her head in disbelief. "You are simply nuts." There was quite some edge of fear in her laughter. And so much hunger in his eyes. He pulled her towards the cliff. Knowing that he was right about the risk of jumping not far enough, Sakura picked up full speed.

They came back to the top of the cliff to warm up, but not before Sakura had jumped three times legs down and even twice head first.

"Are you even afraid of something?"

"Now? No… Not anymore."

"And before?"

"Oh, I was afraid of many things… My father to begin with. But it was first one to go – when I realized which level of power I was going to achieve. What else… Of being alone in dark places… Of being left behind… Seeing my loved ones die. Letting them down, not being able to protect them… Luckily these problems are also gone."

Sakura's heart clenched. For a moment he sounded like Naruto. What happened to the boy he was when all the people he loved died? What happened that made him be what he is now? Seeing so much black that he didn't even notice a hand stretched out by a friend?

"Not having these problems is your biggest problem." What happens if you have no one left to protect? No one to live for? What would Naruto do if everyone, everyone was gone? Go crazy? Very probable…

"I wish it went differently for you." She wanted so much to reach him. He was sitting just next to her but so far away. "I wish you had a good life." She leaned her forehead against side of his arm. "I would wish so many things for you..." Pressed her nose into his arm. "So many things..." Dry lips on warm skin. Close your eyes. Stay.

He didn't move. The only indication of surprise was one breath that came the tiniest moment too soon.

"Hey, don't cry there again." It was a very long moment until he ruffled her hair and broke the contact.

"Not crying."

"I wondered myself what would have happened if I had stayed in Konoha. Or never founded it at all. It would have been more fortunate for me for sure. But what's done is done. And now I can bring peace to the entire world. Isn't it worth it?"

'No, it isn't!' Sakura wanted to shout, but she didn't manage to as he pulled her towards the cliff again.

They didn't notice that the sun had set quite low already and the basking spot on the top of the cliff was in shadow. That meant no place to warm up and dry before they made their way home. When they reached the compound Sakura, was chilled to the bone in clinging wet clothes.

She needed to change, but all she could find in 'her' part of the house were kimonos. More or less elaborate, but only kimonos. And unfortunately these more intricate ones tended to also be warmer. She put on the undergarment, bound it with a string, managed even to put a kimono on and wrap it in a semi-correct way. But without the obi, it was of course opening at her chest. And tying the obi was completely out of her limits.

"Don't laugh." Madara raised his head. And stared. "Don't. You. Dare. Laugh." Sakura held kimono closed at the front with one hand. The belt she was dragging in the other.

"Help me out with this." She approached briskly. "Please. I cannot do it myself."

Madara chuckled.

"A female and cannot even dress herself." He mocked. "How should I know how to?"

"Oh, come on. You had to undress all these women somehow. And they were all wearing these." Sakura gestured at her outfit. "And don't tell me you didn't have your Sharingan activated even once! You must remember, I know how it works!" She pushed the obi into his hands. "Just wrap me up! Reverse the motions."

Madara looked incredulously at the belt, then at the girl standing with her back towards him. Then again at the obi. He found an end, left a length of it free, put the fabric against her waist.

"Wait, I'll make a clone, so I can watch and do it again on my own."

First layer went around her. The second, tight.

Reverse the motions. He should be doing it the other way round. Suddenly, he wanted to see what was beneath the cloth. Third layer. To run fingers against the skin. The knot. The clone was watching carefully.

"Hold this end. This is then folded in two and you tie it with the shorter end."

"Thank you! Thank you so much for helping me!" Sakura sounded truly elated.

He never helped any of those women in anything, never was kind to any of them. Just threw them out afterwards. He remembered how they scrambled gathering their belongings, trying to cover themselves up, sneaking out hoping not to be seen. Was there one among them that came willingly, hoped for something? He will never know, he sent them all away…

Sakura turned around. It felt so different to be dressed in real kimono. No comparison with the summer yukata that she sometimes wore for the festival. It was so tight and stiff and held her straight. Longer steps became impossible, replaced by a dainty, and a bit wobbly gait.

As far as she knew there was not a single mirror in whole compound. And she wanted to see herself. She carefully approached the koi pond. Not the best mirror and she could see herself only from an awkward from-beneath angle.

Madara was also watching. It was amazing how a dress can change a person. This was no longer this loud, tomboyish, reckless girl but a grown-up woman. A young, graceful woman.

"How do I look?"

'Fine. Nice. OK. Finely proper.'

"Beautiful." Madara jerked his head with astonishment at the words that had just left his mouth.

As nice as wearing a kimono felt, it was also awfully impractical. And since other women's clothing was non-existent, Sakura resorted to scouring other parts of the compound for some boys' outfits. They didn't fit perfectly and she had to bind trousers with a belt, but she didn't mind it too much. Problem was, every single shirt had an Uchiha crest on the back. Just how self-possessed had this clan been? It was almost creepy. But she wouldn't even mind wearing the clothes with the fan, but she wasn't sure how Madara would take it. He was all about superiority of the Uchiha.

"Uhm… Would you mind if I wear it?" Sakura held the shirt up.

He looked surprised.

"No, not at all."

Sakura felt suspicious. This went too easily.

"You won't be bothered by an outsider brandishing your crest? Isn't it against the tradition or something?"

"The custom would actually have you not running around here wearing your own crest. It could maybe be accepted for you to wear no symbol at all. But not the other way round."

Sakura tilted her head, thinking. It didn't make much sense, unless…

"You mean if I would be married into the clan…?"

"Aha."

"Oh." Sakura opened her mouth. Was it how he was thinking about her? As married into Uchiha clan? But he had never… they were just… living together for months already? Well, maybe it also counted as being part of the clan… One of the clan women? Belonging to him anyhow?

Now, that was an uncomfortable thought. From one side, she liked that he trusted her, she liked this surprising level of closeness they managed to reach, because living with a distant stranger would be unbearable. And she liked him, more and more; it felt good being around him, fun and safe and somehow effortless. But if he thought of her as property?

As the nights stopped getting shorter while the days still grew hotter, Sakura realized it was the time of the summer festival in dream-time. And as there had been no festivals whatsoever in Konoha for two years due to all destruction and later the war, she was really yearning for one.

So she ransacked the house looking for stuff. When she entered the main yard loaded with all the treasures, Madara sent her a very heavy look. She pretended not to notice.

She was finished with most of the decorations and proceeded to hang the lanterns. She wanted them around the whole yard, but the roof of the main building was too high. Which jutsu could she use to raise herself up? Or maybe she should just pin the lantern's string with a kunai? But they were so fragile and for sure very precious. So she stood there, head raised, thinking, when something grabbed around the middle and lifted her in the air. She stiffened, first out of surprise, then kept it consciously to better accommodate being raised.

"A bit more to your left," she said, trying to sound all business-like. And not to think about Madara's face basically touching her belly.

He dropped her very slowly, letting her body slide down his. And then didn't remove hands from her waist. For one heartbeat. Two.

'Something's happening. Everything feels different now.' She wasn't sure how exactly it made her feel. Mostly nervous.

But he just stepped back and turned to leave. Sakura shook her head.

"What about other lanterns?"

"Find a chair."

And he was gone. And sure as hell he knew there were no chairs here.

That was odd. This sudden change in the air. And him leaving so abruptly. Nothing happened, yet something happened to him. And the longer she thought about it, the more she was realizing that maybe to her as well. She liked it. She liked being touched. She regretted that he left.

So when he finally came back, Sakura blushed crimson. But Madara was behaving casually as if nothing took place. So she did as well.

When the moon came out, she lit the lanterns. He produced sake from somewhere and they sat there, moon-gazing and drinking. Sakura was soon quite dizzy and it became easy to babble about festivals she shared with Naruto or even earlier, also with Sasuke. About the pranks, silly contests, losing Naruto in the crowd only to find him being chased by a vendor that realized that the eaten dango will never be paid for. About Naruto trying to win some trinkets for her and always failing miserably. About attaching embarrassing tags to the backs of random people in the crowd. Trying to accidentally bump into Sasuke on these rare occasions he was even there. Being dragged by Ino after some boy she had her eyes on then.

All these funny, childish, embarrassing, heartwarming moments. They made her smile and laugh aloud. They also made him laugh.

Madara didn't have any festival stories to share. Shinobi never participated in festivals, he said. Far too dangerous. But he returned stories about pranks that he and his brothers played during religious ceremonies in Uchiha settlement. Those were a bit more extreme as the Uchiha elders didn't have much sense of humour. But she laughed to tears nevertheless, imagining little black-haired boys sneaking onto the roof of the shrine to let a bunch of chickens inside the hall through the opening. And she felt truly sorry about punishment they received.

The moon travelled across the sky and when Sakura was going to bed she couldn't stop smiling. And she was sure that it wasn't just sake mixed with festival stories. She felt happy, deep inside.

The next morning, Sakura woke up with a horrible headache. And a lingering feeling of having done something not quite right. Fighting through the throbbing pain behind her eyes, she tried analysing the source of her bad consciousness. Sure, drinking was one of shinobi vices, and she wasn't exactly of a legal age yet it but still… She never took those rules for a gospel. There was something else, something she couldn't quite put her finger on.

'I wish Ino was here. I wish for Ino listening patiently to my accounts of each and every of my encounters with him. From the day I met him.' Sakura felt robbed. Robbed of her chance to share what was so important, robbed out of opportunity to put her feelings into words.

'I wish you were here to call me out on my feelings. I'm all confused, and you would have known better.' And it would make Ino happy, her who fussed about Sakura for years and now she was missing out on her… her what?

Sakura sat up on her futon in one swift motion, suddenly completely sober. "Ino, I guess I managed. I finally managed once again…" She brought hands to her face, dabbed at the wetness in the corners of her eyes. "But why like this?"

AN: Thanks for reading and I would love to hear what you think!