Chapter Two
"He wants to talk with you."
I looked up as Dwight stood over me, eyes squinting from the sun as I ripped my knife out of a Shuffler's face.
I was outside the Sanctuary gates, where I wasn't supposed to be. I sighed and motioned for Dwight to take me back and he turned around wiping the sweat off of his face.
Negan was obviously spying on me again in order to even send Dwight out after me. I wiped the blood off the blade as we walked back to camp. He was on edge, like he always was. He looked at me over his shoulder as I fixed the straps on my waist.
"You make him mad a lot Melaney, more mad than when one of us tries to leave." He stopped so I could catch up and I tried to shrug the comment off, guilt crawling up my throat, "I honestly don't know how you're not dead with how much you piss him off. Lucky he's taken a liking to you likethe Wives."
"He hasn't taken a liking to me, Dwight. And I'm not one of his dang wives." I shoved him as we walked up to the gates where the other Saviors whistled at us, knowing full well Negan was gonna beat the shit out of me with words, "He just...I'm the only female here that hasn't reached 30 yet."
"23 is right up his alley. Wife material." Dwight teased and I rolled my eyes as we made it through. He walked away and I continued my journey up to where factory stood.
Leo waved to me from where he was sitting outside with several other guards, jogging up to me with a smile on his face before falling into pace besides me.
"Hey Laney. Heard Negan was pissed you left again." He opened the door to the wide open factory floors, "Ken, you need to stop doing this. It wasn't Negan's fault and it wasn't yours."
"Thanks Dicaprio, I really needed to hear that." I snapped at him and he faltered in his step before pushing it aside. We made our way up the steps and started across the catwalk to Negan's side of this domain. Leo let his hand graze against the railing as he watched our guys filter in and out beneath, eating food and playing cards to pass the time.
"You were gone for two days. People notice around here when we go missing. Especially when you're Negan's girl-"
"For fucks sake!" I spun around to him and a couple of the groups below stared, I lowered my voice, "If I hear someone say that one more fucking time..."
"Mel...you're the only girl here actually helps us fight. Besides everyone's wives and girlfriends who Negan keeps up in his room all the time, you're pretty much the only girl we see on a regular basis. You're also the only girl here who doesn't drop their pants to get fucked because we're all afraid Negan will cut our dicks off. You're on the hands off policy remember? A policy only reserved for the wives?"
"...Still not his damn wife." I muttered and Leo sighed.
"Melaney...all I'm saying is that what happened to Michael wasn't your fault. It wasn't anyone's fault, if you're going to point fingers point them at the fact that Mike was disturbed from what happened to Jonah last month. Going out there looking for trouble with the dead, isn't safe." Leo put a hand on my chin and made me look at him, brushing my grown out hair off my shoulder, "Please just try to stop inching closer to death by Lucille. I can't imagine being here without you by my side everyday."
"Melaney."
We turned to see Negan leaning against the far railing leading up to his room, he was glaring daggers at Leo who instantly ripped his hand away from me and coughed uncomfortably before looking at me again and beginning to make his exit.
"You have to let his death go, Mel."
Leo tromped away and down the stairs, running a hand through his outgrown hair before I sighed and made my way over to Negan. He adjusted his leather jacket and I followed him the rest of the way in silence as he looked at his nails in front of me. I forgot how giant the man was.
"So, can you just give me my reprimand out here so I can-"
"Get the fuck inside and stop giving me lip." he cut me off, running a hand over his salt and pepper stubble which he had just shaved a few days ago. I sighed and walked into his lavish room and he followed silently, closing and locking the door, "Weapons off, you know the drill."
Negan entered the room, saying hello to the women that stayed around. I walked behind him, straightening up and laying my things over a chair. I nodded to a brunette in lingerie who was lounging across one of the couches as Negan sat down next to a redheaded woman, looking over her hand as she cradled it to her.
"Hey Amber." I sat next to her and she brushed mascara out of her eye.
"Hey Melaney, fuck up again?" She smiled and we looked to Negan who was creating a splint for the redhead, "Seems to be alot of that going around this month."
"Negan okay?" I asked and she shrugged.
"Haven't really seen him around here the past few days, he hauled himself up in the spare room up top so we've just been...here." she gestured around and I nodded as Negan finished and whistled for me to follow him into his extra room, "Take it easy on her, Negan. She's only a kid."
"Yeah Negan, there's not enough splints to go around here." another woman spoke up, teasing.
"I'm not going to beat the shit out of her you all know that, fucking calm down." Negan rolled his eyes as I entered the study, he gave them the finger and they laughed before he closed the door.
He went and sat at his desk which was laid over with crap of maps and bullets. Behind him on the wall, Lucille rested. He watched me, like he always does these days, as I sat down on the chair where a couple extra shirts of his were resting and looked at him as he propped his boots up on his desk.
Negan was a hawk, eyes always watching and drinking everything in. He was smirking to himself as I waited for him to start speaking.
6 months Leo and I have been here and it only took 4 of those months for me to lose everything. Michael was dead and I rarely saw Leo anymore because Negan had him and half his men searching for other groups to trade and tackle with. I always had to stay behind under Negan's lock and key, just guarding the gates and throwing rocks off the top of the factory. Occasionally when Negan went out with his men I relaxed with the Wives upstairs and let them pamper me for a bit. They were nice ladies, not the sluts everyone deemed them to be. They didn't want Negan to look after them, they wanted out but they couldn't lift a finger against him.
It wasn't like Negan ever laid a hand on them, hell, Negan hadn't laid a single harsh hand to me and I was the one always getting in trouble with him. But Negan had branded me without ever touching me, labeled as on of the 'wives' as everyone so lovingly called it. I wasn't, didn't want to be but Negan...it's in his smile and the way he held himself.
He could disarm me with a smile meant for grace and poise but it could kill me at the same time, and it's all a natural part to him; his charm was in his violence. It was part of the brutality underneath that charming exterior, he could smile and laugh and be dragging a knife along my throat at the same time. He was dangerous and it was a rush talking to him, being in his presence and even leaning against his clothes t in the chair. To say he took my breath away was an understatement, he choked the life out of me every time I saw him.
"Why."
"Why are you always watching me?" I countered and he raised an eyebrow, "I'm sure there are other things to do besides sit on the roof with binoculars and watch my every move."
"You and I both know I don't need binoculars to know where you are." he folded his arms behind his head and stretched lazily, groaning, "So why, Melaney, do you piss me off so damn much and go over the gates?"
"I like being alone, not everyone can be like you, Negan." I gave in and he shrugged, "...and I just...wanted to be outside for a while."
"Ain't no use beating yourself up over the kid." his eyes flashed to mine, holding them, "Ain't no use pissing me the fuck off either because of it."
"Why don't you ask Lucille what you're going to do to me then." I muttered under my breath but he caught it immediately.
Negan stood up, watching me with a concerned look before moving to me and crouching down, shoulders wider than my own as he placed a hand on my knee carefully, always watching and studying me.
"Laney...do you want to die?"
I held his stare and thought about it, the answer was no of course not, but another answer was yes. My prolonged silence must have put him on edge because he reached out, cupping my face with both of his hands and forcing me to bend closer to him.
"Laney, don't you every say you want to fucking die. I promised you I wouldn't let anything ever happen to you, I promised I wouldn't ever fucking leave you alone. I made a fucking promise to you baby girl and I'm going to keep that promise. Do. You. Understand?"
I'd remember that day until I died. It was something I'd never forget about him.
"Laney, answer me!"
"I don't want to die Negan, fuck. I understand alright?" I knocked his hands away, all of my tough exterior melting at his expression. My face burned in shame as I looked down to my lap and he remained in front of me, hands on the chair blocking me in.
"Good. 'Cause you forget a lot of fucking things I say, girl." He made me look at him again, one hand softly caressing my cheek as the other grabbed my hand, I was shaking again.
He released me and got up, leaning against his desk like he was a professor in being a complete asshole. Oh wait, he was.
"Knock it off. It doesn't look good on you."
"Excuse me?" I looked down at my clothesin confusion.
"The attitude. The whole 'I'm a badass and a rebel' can't do shit with you. You ain't like that." he grinned and I looked away to the concoction of weapons I wore everyday and he caught that, "No doubt you could kick ass, but I miss the old you."
"The old me?"
"The one I picked up in the forest. The one that used to cry at night and was nice to everyone in here." He folded his arms and I looked to Lucille behind him, "The girl that tried to kiss me when she was fucked up drunk."
"Oh go screw yourself." I glared but ended up smiling myself along with him, "You're the one who never gives me anything to do here."
"You help protect what I've built here."
"I throw rocks of the top of the building, Negan." I deadpanned and he shrugged before adjusting his scarf.
It was true, I had definitely faked being a hard ass for a long time. But this, laughing felt nice for once. And Negan was right, of course he was. Everyone had known my name because I would help everyone that came in here, I took over being a medic when Leo was assigned to go out but I skirted that job after Michael's death and decided to become a pain in everyone's ass.
"Alright, I've got shit to do now." Negan winked and turned back to his desk, ripping some paper off a clipboard and it to me, "Go do this shit, come back and I'll give you your weapons back."
"You're taking my shit?" I grabbed the paper and read it as Negan got up and called Amber to grab my things. She came in and smiled at us, Negan took my holster from her and hung it up next to Lucille before handing me a knife strap to go around my belt, "Amber, you suck."
"Go fetch Samantha will you?" Negan smiled, slapping Ambers ass as she walked out, he turned back to me, "Well, you won't hop over the walls with less than a knife I've learned. Now go get lost."
He grabbed my arm at the last second as I turned to leave and pulled me back, he always pressed too close to me.
"Negan-"
"Don't fuck up." he smiled and for a moment his eyes changed as he watched me carefully, he frowned for a second, "Melaney-"
"Negan, baby!"
We broke apart, tension between us evaporating as one of the older black women came in with a sly smile. Negan smiled charmingly and I brushed past them quickly, slamming the door behind me before I heard himstart fucking her. Like hell I was Negan's girl.
It was evening when one of our small groups came back from visiting the Hilltop Sanctuary, bearing a couple sacks of food for the next week but not a whole lot more. I was outside the building's doors, talking with some of the other guards while watching Negan greet everyone but then get disappointed at the loot. He was decked out in his leather jacket and scarf again, grin plastered on his face trying to keep everyone's spirits up.
"We've gotta branch out." Leo commented as we made our way into the open floor where people were eating and relxing, the others nodded in agreement.
"Or we need better negotiation tactics." Steven cackled mercilessly and I smacked him upside his dumb head. Steven was one of our motorcycle men, they usually sped around looking to scavenge people, "Fuck!"
"Or Negan needs to get his shit together for everyone here and stop focusing on just him and his circle of idiots." I picked food up and stuck it on my plate, noticing Dwight and his girlfriend and their friend inject insulin into her arm and stick a water bottle in her hands, "We don't need just food, we need medical supplies and-"
"That's what the Hilltop is for, they've got shit." Another motorcycle idiot spoke up as we sat down.
"Hilltop is the only one producing said shit, and they're running out." I replied, Leo nodded to me, pointing at me with a fork as we watched the hall slowly fill up with more people, "Everyone's running out of everything nowadays."
I ate my food in silence as the others conversed about their run and what happened on the road. Leo was staring off behind me, chewing slowly before raising an eyebrow and nodded, I turned to where he was staring only to have a face full of Negan's crotch as he appeared behind us. Leo burst out into laughter and I spun around, kicking him underneath the table. Negan didn't seem to notice.
"How we doing boys?"
Boys, ladies even kids. I noticed he never really took to memorizing any of the people's names here, always nicknames based on our appearances. For instance, Leo used to be Medic or Doc and I used to just be Knives for a while until one of our runs went bad against another group and I almost died. That's when I was put on lockdown here.
"-not much on the south end." Steven was saying as Negan took a seat next to him, back turned to me, ignoring my existence, "Should be more in a couple weeks."
"Good, good. And Hilltop?"
"Hey." Leo bumped my foot with his as Negan became engrossed in the information. He tapped my hand as I tried to stare daggers into Negan, "Wanna go up top?"
"Hell yes," I nodded and we stood up. Up top on the roof was our favorite place, we could see everyth-
"Where the hell you two going?"
We dumped our plates in the trash, Negan was turned back to us, looking between Leo and I carefully. He watched the way I looked to Leo for an answer and how Leo just grabbed my hand throwing a hasty 'practice time!' over his shoulder before pulling me out of the mess hall.
"Shit that was close!" Leo was laughing as we ran around to the fire escape out front, passing some of the men and women milling about. They nodded to us and pulled the ladder down and shoved it back up as soon as we started climbing, "Did you see his face? Man, he can't live without an audience!"
"Just keep climbing, he's probably gonna come after us in like five minutes." I giggled as we made it to the top and walked out to the front of the ledge, leaning against it and staring out at everything. I sat on it, legs swinging over the side dangerously and Leo stood behind me, head resting on my shoulder as he wrapped his arms around me comfortably.
Up here it was quiet and nothing could get us. No Negan, no dead people and no other real people. When we first came to Sanctuary we would come up here at night, just to get away from our rooms. I wasn't used to having a room, a bed for myself and neither was Leo. Being in Negan's group had its pros and cons, as did every group though.
"Whatcha thinking about?" Leo whispered as I gazed out into the trees, if I focused hard enough I swear I could hear the Shuffler's moaning outside the gates.
"When we first came here, how often we came up here."
"Yeah...we haven't been up here together in weeks." He breathed and I frowned.
"You're always on runs and Negan's always making me do menial tasks." I flicked a cockroach off the ledge and it fell silently. Leo brushed hair out of my face and pressed a kiss to my temple.
"I think he does it on purpose."
"Does what?"
"Sends me out so I'm never with you anymore. Less competition for him." Leo bit out but I could hear the smile in his voice.
"He should be worried about you. You're my bestie." I turned to him and kissed him softly, Leo smiled and hugged me closer, burying his face in my neck as we laughed.
"Man I miss you, Melaney. If it wasn't so bad out there we could head out on our own. We'd protect each other."
Something in my chest turned at that, Negan's words haunting my head before I shook it off and checked my watch. Leo noticed and sighed before helping me of the ledge and over to the fire escape. I was on lock down, bedtime was 11 for me and we all knew better than to question Negan's reasoning. Still, the ten minutes we had up here made up for lost time.
We dropped to the ground a couple minutes later, close together and holding hands as we made our way into the building and up the stairs and to our rooms. Most everyone else were retiring to their places as well. I was laughing, too busy engrossed in one of Leo's old stories to watch the brooding Savior Leader come down from his steps and watch us go to my room where we shared a kiss and departed from each other with a promise of hanging our tomorrow. Leo walked to his place and I watched him leave, leaning against the door and making faces at him until he was out of sight down below. I didn't see the dangerous glint in the Negan's eyes begin to form as I opened my door up and stepped. All I felt was my door get jammed with a black boot sticking in it.
"Negan?"
Negan leaned against the door clumsily, his hair was ruffled and his smile was charming and sloppy. Drunk off his ass, god I was only gone for ten minutes.
"Wanted to make sure you got in, rules and shit." he , pulled me out of my room and closed my door before turning to his doors, gesturing me to follow him. We entered his room a moment later and he locked the door before collapsing into one of his plush chairs tiredly.
"Where are the girls at?" I asked, looking around the empty loft, Negan gestured out the window then gestured everywhere else.
"Sent them off to do crap. Wanted time to themselves, whatever the fuck that meant." He sat up and looked to me
"Okay, well then why am I here..."
"You know, the moment I laid eyes on you-knew you were special." he slurred, grinning lopsided, "Used to go out of my way to check on yous-you, when you first got here. 'Member that?"
Of course I did, I remembered everything Negan did. My name was the only one he ever bothered memorizing and it was true, he'd seek me out throughout the days we were settling in just to say hello and make sure I wasn't going to dart out.
"Cut too tight."
"What?" I snapped out of it as Negan mumbled, he gestured to me drunkenly.
"Clothes, don't need to be that fuckin' tight on you. Men watchin' you move all day, staring at your ass." He grumbled more to himself and I folded my arms, slowly smiling.
"...you jealous, Negan?"
His eyes went clear, almost looking right through me and I swore he was faking being drunk for a second. He frowned.
"You jealous they get to look at me all day?" I whispered, coming closer to him and dropping the knife he gave me earlier onto the floor.
His eyes drank everything in, his chest rose and fell deeply as he watched me step closer. It was silent, completely silent as it hit the floor with a thump. I was inches away from him, our knees brushing together for a moment.
"Don't be a fuckin' tease, baby girl." He growled, leaning forward. I pushed him back hard in the chair, leaning over him with me hands on his knees. His eyes were black as he watched me...with no trace of alcohol on his breath.
"I'm not your baby girl. Go fuck yourself, Negan." I whispered before releasing him and grabbing my things off the floor. Negan chuckled darkly as I made my way to the door.
"Oh, but I'd much rather fuck you instead."
I slammed the door behind me and went to my room for the night. His fucking games were beginning to be too much for me.
"Hold fucking still!"
I couldn't breath, I couldn't see. I was being held down by hands too strong for me to break through. I couldn't tell if I was the one yelling in pain or if it was the people around me.
"Melaney you need to relax! You need to clam down, just start breathing all right? In and out, in and out-" Someone grabbed my hand, softer than the ones holding me down and someone else put a hand over the blindfold as I tried to jerk my head to the side.
"Don't let him in here!"
"Where is she?! What are you doing to her!?"
There was a booming yell outside the room and I could hear a small fight begin to start as red hot liquid began to pierce through my side and my thigh. I arched my body away from it, yelling obscenities as the white pain explodes behind my eyes.
"Let me in!"
"Melaney just breath." There was a voice, piercing through everyone else's, Leo was somewhere in the room whispering to me and for some reason his voice was the loudest of them all.
The pain was gone for a moment and the hands loosened their grip on me as my body began to twitch. I could feel my blood begin to trickle underneath me on the gurney, because that's where I was. I could smell antibiotics and the powder from the medical gloves and I could see the bright lights of the makeshift station here at the Sanctuary basement.
I let out a slow breath as the blindfold was removed and when my eyes adjusted I could see people pressing gauze and wrapping up my leg and torso where I had gotten shot at. I spotted an arrow and a piece of glass on the table, still dripping with my blood.
There was a bang and Negan entered the room looking wild, shoving the doors as they bounced back against their hinges. Blood was still splattered across his face, his neck and his jacket and Lucille was still clutched in his hand. I dropped my head onto the makeshift pillow that had been placed under me as Negan shoved everyone not helping out of the way.
"Baby girl." Negan's voice was soft and smooth and it washed over me like morphine, he stood over me blocking out the harsh light and touched my hand, "Fuck."
He brushed the hair out of my face, rough hands wiping my blood off of my own face and checked my new wounds himself. I let my head flop to one side, trying to spot Leo but the group has already sectioned him off, working on him. Negan rested his elbows on the gurney, head bent over my chest as he tried to compose himself.
When he looked back up, his eyes were tinged red and he was smiling that insane smile like he had just lost everything in his life. He ran a hand over his face and laughed.
"Thought I fucking lost you out there. Those fucking assholes all fucking died out there. I made sure of that. Nobody gets away with trying to kill you." Negan placed a rough kiss to my temple and hovered over me as I faded in and out of consciousness, "Go to sleep Laney, I'll be right here when you wake up."
I did.
I was in so much pain when I woke up.
Negan was passed out at the foot of the gurney that had been pushed up against the wall, Lucille rested between his legs. I could see more blood on the floor behind the sectioned off curtain where Leo had been. I got up slowly, cringing as my body urged me to stay in bed and rest. Negan didn't even stir as I shuffled my way to Leo's corner, clutching the soaked through bandages on my side as I used an extra swivel chair to hold myself up.
I pulled Leo's curtain away and stared. Then I screamed.
"Melaney!"
I fell back on the floor, backing away from the body on the bed that was strapped down with ties and leather. Negan was at my side in an instant, covering me as the animated corpse came to life and began moving against the restraints.
"No! NO!" I beat Negan's chest, knocking Lucille away from him, the bat clattered on the ground and stopped in Leo's blood on the floor, "LEO!"
"He's gone, Laney baby he's gone." Negan was holding me as I started crying, hysterical tears and cries escaped me and I couldn't hold down the sobs or cracked sadness that seeped through my skin.
My best friend was dead, replaced by one of the dead. Negan called in the others and they rushed in. What a sight to see; their fearless leader trying to control a girl who was still bleedig and trying to fight aginst Negan to get to the hungr corpse whose eyes had faded to white.
"Get him out of here!" Negan boomed, they nodded and one of them grabbed a scalpel as they rolled Leo away.
There was silence on the other end of the basement doors and the wheeling away had stopped a little bit later. I was crushing Negan's arms, holding them against me as he rocked me back and forth listening to me cry and mumble and scream out for Leo to come back, to come back and be with me. Negan was crying with me, whispering how sorry he was and kissing my face and wiping my tears away even though they fell continuously. I buried my face in his jacket and he picked me up carefully and took me out of the basement, away from Leo and away from the blood.
Routine, routine, routine.
I stared down at the rebellious group that had set a couple of our cars on fire a couple days before. Leo stood next to me, eyes trained on the men as Steven started his speech about how ungrateful they were to turn against us like they did when they protected them.
"Ain't fucking nice is what it was." Steven finished and he looked to us as we stood by, "Get over here, Knives."
I left Leo's side and brandished my machete, standing behind the seven people. Steven stood behind as well and the others cocked their guns. Leo turned to go to the back of our truck for tarps for the bodies as Steven relayed the order in which they were going to die.
"Go ahead, Knives."
"Red Alert!" one of our men screamed at the top of his lungs, bursting through the trees as Shufflers came in at all angles.
I was hit in the knee by the captives. I fell and swiped out, catching them in the faces as I got to my feet. There was a sharp pain in my leg and my side as I swung down and killed another one of them as Steven took out the rest.
"Back to the truck! Forget about them!" Steven grabbed me and shoved me in the bed of the truck. Shufflers clawed the truck as we burst out from the open area we had been in. Leo was in the front, holding himself closely through the window. I looked down as I slid on something wet as I tried to put my weapon away. Fuck I was bleeding, "Melaney!"
I fell out of the truck as I tried to stand up and everything went hazy and black as blood poured out of me.
Negan was holding me against him as the sun came through his open window. I was wrapped in his blankets and bandages. I was staring outside on my good side as he breathed evenly behind me, stirring awake and moving slowly.
Leo was gone, Michael was gone. I was alone.
"Laney." Negan sat up suddenly then looked down to me before sliding back into bed and bringing me closer to him.
I rolled over to face him, he was still tired from dealing with everything the day before. It felt so long ago but my bloody bandages on the floor reminded me the pain would come back stronger throughout the day. The loft was empty, no Wives and no ghosts.
I reached for Negan and he closed his eyes for a moment as I felt the scratch of his stubble against my hand and the softness of his hair in between my fingers. He caught my hand in his and kissed it softly. I let my hand fall to his chest, tracing the horned tattoo over his heart.
"You have me." He whispered and I looked back at him, sunlight shining right onto his face and lighting his face up like an angel, "You're my girl, forever."
"Yeah, okay Negan."
He kissed me roughly, always pressing too close to me. I hated him, I did but I could never had resisted him for too long. I just wanted to forget everyone else and Negan let me as I melted into him.