CHAPTER 42 – BALANCED
It was as cold as he remembered, hell make that colder. He pulled Gina against him, trying to shield her from the cold, cursing again the fact that she had come along on this offworld excursion. She shouldn't be here, she should have been tucked up in a bed in the infirmary. Or tucked up in your bed, John told himself. Later, that'll be for later. She wants my touch, hell more than happy to oblige. Oh yeah, and as if sensing his thoughts she tucked herself in closer, shivering more than just a little in the cold.
"You made enough noise last time you had to come back here McKay. You shoulda sat this one out." Ronon grumbled at the scientist, seeing the first signs of a good moan session about to start, preempting it before he even opened his mouth.
"How can you not feel this cold Ronon. No wonder we found no life signs on this planet - and no wonder the ancients chose to build their little time portal here. Certainly had little chance of accidental discovery..." This last comment was directed at John with a roll of his eyes and John managed a small grin. He was known for touching things he shouldn't, kind of a bad habit really. Mostly with consequences as he had found out this time around.
If I hadn't played around with it, wouldn't have this woman at my side. Wouldn't be a stargate programme. Woulda shoulda coulda...yada yada yada. John thought that they could play that game around in circles for the next fifty years. The result would still be the same.
They made their way over the uneven ground, Rodney's cheeks turning a ruddy shade of red in the intense cold of the air and he repeatedly blew on his hands, covered only in the half gloves they favoured as part of their cold weather gear. He rummaged around in his pockets, bringing out the hand held heat infuser that he and Gina had been talking about in the infirmary and John felt that cold blank spot in his mind shift a little and gripped Gina a little too tightly causing her to cry out slightly.
"John? You're hurting me, what's wrong."
"That damn device. Something about the hole it left..." then his eyes were drawn to Rodney's pocket where a piece of paper of some sort was sticking out, obviously dislodged when he had pulled out the heat infuser. "Rodney, what's that paper in your pocket." Glancing down at it quizzically, John being closer, reached over and pulled it out, holding it between them so they could both look at it.
Rodney's eyes shot to his in shock. "Sheppard? What the hell's going on?" Ronon moved closer, drawn by the shock in Rodney's voice. He peered down at the paper. It was a photo, taken as a polaroid, similar to the one that John had found in his pockets when he returned. The photo was of Rodney, standing in front of a space rocket, and for all intent and purposes, it looked like one of the Saturn V rockets.
"What's going on Sheppard? That's a Saturn V. I wasn't even living in the United States when the Apollo missions were happening. 1960's.. Jesus.." He stared down at the photo, fascinated in spite of himself. It was not a tourist shot, Rodney was standing on a platform that led to the middle portion of the rocket. A very jubilant smile on his face. A surrounding him, equally jubilant smiles on their faces –Frank Borman, James A. Lovell Jr and William A. Anders.
Ronon was looking from John to Rodney, no idea what the implications of the photo meants. "Who are those men Rodney and what sort of ship is that."
"Please be informed there is a Santa Claus..." Rodney muttered these words, famous words that signalled the end of a famous mission and John muttered an oath, one that did not pass his lips often. He, just as Rodney did, realised immediately the implicatons of this photo.
Apollo 8 was the first mission to take humans to the Moon and back. An important prelude to actually landing on the Moon was testing the flight trajectory and operations for getting there and back. Apollo 8 did this and acheived many other firsts including the first manned mission launched on the Saturn V, first manned launch from NASA's new Moonport, first pictures taken by humans of the Earth from deep space, and first live TV coverage of the lunar surface. And this photo showed clearly, that Rodney had been a part of that.
"Aaah Ronon... another giant puddle of something unpleasant... those men? They are the astronauts that piloted the Apollo 8 in 1968, just before man walked on the moon. This photo my friend, is not a good thing. Not a good thing at all. If Rodney was there in 1968, then he can mostly certainly not be here. Getting my drift yet Ronan?"
"Rodney... that bad feeling... it's about to explode. Gina?" He looked down at the girl nestled at his side and watched as her gaze slid up to meet his. Her eyes were no longer clear, they appeared unfocused and he reached down to cup her chin so that he could get her to focus on him. "Gina. What's wrong?" She tried to pull her chin out of his grip, grimacing a little in the pain that shot through her head.
"Let me go John." She pulled out of the arm that had secured her to his side, backing up slightly, holding her hands out in front of her as though to ward him off. She back up against a hard wall and felt Ronon's arm snake around her middle, securing her to him, to keep her from hurting herself.
"Easy, Gina. Tell us what's going on. Why is Rodney in that picture." John kept his distance letting Ronon take over briefly, concerned by the look in her eyes. He could see in her eyes that she had grasped the meaning immediately and saw something else also. Her memories were starting to return. She struggled a little against Ronon's arm, but after flicking a glance at John, Ronon kept her tightly secured. John could see that she was becoming rapidly distressed and said quietly to Ronon.
"Keep her with you. We need to get the portal. Rodney - give me the picture. " Rodney, still staring in fascination at it, handed John the picture and he kept it in his hand,moving quickly now in the direction of the stone portal. He had started to fit the last pieces together. The very last pieces. Gina couldn't be here without consequence. Callandra had known that. Known when she had started her meddling. There was a trade, an agreement made between the ancients. In order for Gina to come to this time line , one from this time line had to replace her, in 1962.
John turned the picture over and over in his hand, thoughts spiralling through his head, boots eating up the rocky terrain with little regard or effort. Thoughts. Time and distance. Time and distance. Gina needed in both time lines to perform two jobs. Rodney needed in both time lines to perform two jobs. Time and Distance.
Rodney got to the point at the same time that John did and he saw Rodney's steps, already struggling to keep up with his own, falter and he stopped too. The stone portal was now in sight. And there was a tangible energy coming from it, electrical - and knew that it was not just his ancient gene that registered it. He saw the look of fascination on Gina's face, mirrored also on Ronon's and he had already been through it once, so it was no mystery to him. It had a predatory look to it, waiting. For someone? For Rodney. Both Rodney and John knew this now. Waiting for Rodney. Time and distance.
"John? I have to go back, don't I. To take her place. She is needed here now, and I am needed then now. Oh God, John, NASA, the Apollo missions.. I'm responsible for them, aren't I? If I don't go back and stay then the missions never take place. You talked about pieces of puzzles - this had to be one of the biggest jigsaws of all time. Pieces scattered all over time and distance. Time and distance." He said these words ponderingly and they became clear to John.
John's hand took Rodney's shoulder firmly, as though to hold him back. "We'll find another way Rodney, you don't have to go. You're needed here."
" No, John, it has to be this way - ask Gina, she knows. That's what she was trying to tell me the other day in the infirmary. I've done what I can here. Is this what you would call a Hail Mary Sheppard? The biggest football play of all time?"
John took a deep breath, not willing to relegate Rodney's life work to a football play, but he understood why the scientist had done it. " Yeah,Rodney, the biggest hail mary of all time. Hell, you're gonna get the biggest head of all time - needed in two galaxies in two time lines. How's that for arrogance?
Rodney's face beamed as though he suddenly understood the implications, and the possibilities. "I can make a difference Sheppard and actually get recognised for it. Here? It's all done in secret from the public. I discover something new and wonderful and who can I tell? Where can I publish? I'm an arrogant scientist. I want the world to know what I do, what I discover. This way... this way, I get my recognition."
Alarmed now, John cautioned him. "Remember Rodney, there's a game plan, and the ancients will make sure you stick to it. No taking them along faster than they're meant to go. No sneaking in gadgets and technology that they're not ready for. You have to follow the rules or the ancients will come down on you like ton of bricks. Rodney!"
Rodney nodded, and John suddenly had the urge to hold on to him and stop him doing this. "Ronon, you've said nothing. Gina?"
Ronon turned away, for all his faults he had a soft spot for Rodney, something he would never had admitted aloud. He had little understanding for what was happening, but knew that he would miss him. Whenever and whereever he went. Gina pulled free of Ronon's arm, and went straight to Rodney. Rodney touched her face softly with his hand.
" Your memory is coming back Gina, I see it in your eyes."
" I"m sorry Rodney, We both leave behind something important, but gain so much more, if you think about it hard enough. Will you spend some time with my family? Tell them I'm ok?" When he nodded, she placed her hand on top of his and saw him hesitate.
" Will you take over some of the projects I left behind, unfinished. Use that degree you've worked hard to get. There are some excellent scientists in Atlantis, they'll be more than pleased to help you and my notes are excellent." She laughed at his arrogance, recognising in herself, a little of the same thing.
" There's a discovery here that you need to make, the reason they wanted you forward in time. Sheppard is not the only reason the ancients manoevered you back here. I started something... special. You'll see and when you look over my notes, I think you'll understand and be the one. I let myself get sidetracked, or so I thought, now I know. I wasn't the one meant to finish it. You were. Perhaps you could name whatever you discover – Rodney."
John laughed then. "No naming of anything here Rodney, I thought we had long since agreed on that."
The portal was glowing now and Gina clung tightly to Rodney's arm. "Gina, get back - you can't go too close or you'll be pulled through as well." Rodney tried to disentangle himself from her, but she seemed transfixed by the purple glow that had begun to pulse. As thought drawn to it she stepped forward, but John was there, pulling her back against him, burying his face in her hair, feeling her heart racing under the hand that banded her hard against him.
"Let him go Gina." Ronon turned away but Rodney's smile was brilliant and accepting, a new adventure to discover something and make his mark on the world. All he had ever wanted to do. A wave and he was gone, and the cold planet once more dark and unforgiving, as the final three stood staring unseeing into the stone portal that had opened one more time to finish what had been started.
"Is that the end Sheppard? No more changes, no more messing around with time lines." Ronon's voice was rough, he was not good with emotion, with feelings and he just wanted their old lives back, action and strength.
John felt her body trembling against his, both with the cold and the adrenalin that had fired through her body for the past hour, and felt her collapse then, suddenly boneless and unable to support herself. He picked her up, cradling her tight against him, and with one final look at the stone portal he turned, Ronon in the lead now and made their way back to the gate. Time and distance. One there, one here. The scales had been balanced.