CHAPTER 43 – TIME TO HEAL
The walk to the gate was cold and silent and no one felt the absent team member more than John. Hell, this was Rodney. Most annoying scientist in the universe, arrogant, uppity, sometimes downright nasty and the world's greediest pig when it came to food. So why did he feel his absence so much. Hell, this was Rodney. He filled a hole in their lives, made them think about things they would have otherwise chosen to ignore, and sometimes... just sometimes... he came out with something kind and generous. Hell, this was Rodney.
They slipped through the event horizon, respite from the cold – John still holding tightly to Gina. He didn't know if she was conscious or not. Didn't want to think too much at all right now and wondered just how the hell he was going to explain everything to Elizabeth. They needed time to heal. All of them.
Ronon didn't wait when they stepped into the gate room in Atlantis. He barely glanced at Elizabeth who came instantly down the stairs, didn't acknowledge Carson who was standing by with a gurney, nor did he speak to John or Gina who stood uncertainly in the gate room as he strode out angrily. John sighed. He knew that Ronon did not understand, and would talk to him when things had calmed down a little. Much later.
"John! Talk to me. What the hell is going on. Where is Rodney?"
"Gone, Elizabeth. Back to 1962. Rodney was needed in their time line and he took the opportunity to become the hero he's always wanted to be." He looked down at Gina, saw her clear blue eyes looking up at him questioningly, and he carefully lowered her to the ground, but shook his head gently at Carson when he moved forward to take her back to the infirmary. Carson hesitated – he didn't like her colour and the fact that she was shaky on her feet, she shouldn't have been out of the infirmary anyway. But he saw the look in the Colonel's eyes and kept his distance. Likely John was not letting go of his woman anytime soon, his arm wrapped tightly around her now as though she represented some sort of life line.
"You let my chief scientist go through that damn time portal. Tell me you didn't just do that Colonel Sheppard!" Elizabeth was pissed, no doubt about it and John tried frantically to unscramble his brain to explain why he had let him go. He couldn't find the words, but Gina did, and could. She pushed away from him, keeping hold of his hand and faced Elizabeth.
"Don't be angry at him Elizabeth – please. We're working with factors beyond our control right now. Rodney and I have spent some time together in the past couple of days and I began to understand some things, mainly through Rodney – inadvertantly he gave us a clue to what was going to happen."
"You knew Gina?" John pulled sharply on her hand, making her turn to face him. "Why didn't you say something?" She saw the anger on his face and wanted to push it away, but struggled with the words.
"Not so much knew – remember, I don't have the knowledge of what is to happen in those years after my own timeline. I have not had time here yet – to study history books and find out the important events after 1962. I know only the importance of the space programme, and Rodney spent a lot of time talking to me about this, filling me in on events and giving me his own personal history lesson. I started to realise something – he was not fulfilled here. His achievements here could never be truly recognised, not the way he wanted them to be – he spoke about how wonderful it must have been to be involved in high profile programmes such as the early NASA ones. He told me something important, something that you had not considered. The space programme wouldn't have continued, not with the way things had been left. The Soviets and Americans both started new projects in 1967 in the race to be first on the Moon, Rodney told me this. The Americans initiated Project Apollo; the Soviets, Project Soyuz. Both began with horrible disasters that set each country's space program back a year and a half. The U.S. crew were testing the new Apollo systems on the ground in January 1967. On 27 January the three crew members were inside the spacecraft that was going to be Apollo 1 breathing pure oxygen. A burst of flame seen from outside. It took six minutes for technicians and workers to open the hatch. By that time the three astronauts were dead. The interior of the craft was estimated to have reached 1,000 degrees Fahrenheit."
John's eyes had shuttered slightly and he felt her pull away from him to stand between John and Elizabeth. "That was the end of the space programme – the last piece of the puzzle John. Rodney went back to ensure that the testing in January 1967 was successful."
Elizabeth stared open mouthed at Gina. "I don't understand Gina. Even with that accident, the space programme stayed on track. It was a small setback."
"No Elizabeth, it wasn't. That is just how you remember it now. Another man would have died in that incident – a brilliant physicist, one who if he had lived would have advanced the space programme to the point where man walked on the moon. But he died, and this no longer happened. Until Rodney went back and took the place of this physicist."
"Damn it Gina – how can you know this, I can't grasp how you know... that is the difficult part for me."
Gina backed away from John a little, feeling overwhelmed by what she had suddenly remembered in that single moment when Rodney had been sucked into the time portal, and by the ferocious look in John's eyes. A look that was directed at her and the news that she imparted now.
"When Rodney went through, my memory returned. Everything. The moment that I fought my way through the darkness, the same darkness that you were in. Callandra filled me with information, like a history book. I knew so much John. So much. It was overwhelming – she showed me the rift, how to get through, but it was not without cost. My father attempted to follow, needing to make sure that I was in fact going to safety. She pulled him back, forced him to stay, then with a touch I was filled with the memories of a thousand events, so much that it overwhelmed me. I became lost in the dark, my connection pulled too tight from this side. I didn't think I would make it, but my father... something happened to him..."
Her breath hitched now and he hardened himself not to go to her – to let her finish what she had started to say. He needed to hear it all.
"He became light..."
Ascended... my god, he ascended... why? The thought poured like oil through John, slick and unwelcome. Why would Callandra force him to ascend?
She saw the question in his eyes and answered. "To help me through the rift... To take my place here, so that Rodney could take his place here... but that is not the end John."
"I know Gina... I don't know if it will ever be the end. And I need time... to process, to think. I'm sorry, I can't be here right now. I need to go..." He held him hands up, anguish on his face and he backed away from her, not seeing the pain in her face, only knowing his own right now. Turning, he left and Gina was left standing alone – looking lost and just a little frightened, brought forth into a time where she still had the role of her life to play.
She looked at Elizabeth and saw pity on her face. "I'm sorry Gina, that you have been dragged into all this – so much of it has affected you, your family and your way of life has been changed forever. I can't help feel that we are responsible. I know there are more factors involved than just us, but for now, the line stops here, and I can only offer the apology from us... but know that it comes with sincerity. John will be fine. He's strong, but at the moment, you are his weakness and he doesn't want you to see that."
"I need to go to him Elizabeth.. please. I can't be left out in the cold. Not now."
"If you go to him now Gina, you may not like what you find. Raw emotion, can damage a person. I'm not sure you're ready to be in his firing line right now."
"Please..."
She looked carefully at the younger woman, saw the resolve there and nodded once. "I'll take you to his quarters, but don't say I didn't warn you. I sense a strength in you Gina, but be very sure this is what you want to do."
Gina followed her through the hallways until they came to John's private quarters, having assumed that he would go there. Elizabeth gave Gina a long look, and left and it was a long time during which Gina stood outside his door, that she found the courage to bring her hand up to knock on it.
There was silence on the other side. For a long time. She rested her head against the wall now, standing just off to the side, her head starting to ache, and needing more than anything to lie down and close her eyes. But not yet.
Finally footsteps were heard and the door slid open. She moved into the open doorway, but did not enter, just stood watching him. He was clad only in BDU pants, no shirt and she looked longingly at his naked chest, wanting to feel her cheek pressed up against it and tangle her fingers in the sparse hair that curled there. He saw the need in her eyes and closed his eyes briefly.
I need her. I don't care what has gone down. I don't care about anything right now. I need her.
She didn't remember him moving, but he was in front of her and she only had to take one more step and she could rest her cheek against his warm chest while his hand came around her, cupping her bottom and dragging her against him, just as he had done earlier that day.
In the next instant of memory the door was closed and her clothes had gone. How did they get into that pile on the ground? I was just outside the door. A microsecond ago... She smiled and he hooked a finger under her chin to pull her eyes back up to his.
"Share the joke... hmmm..."
"Fifty years John... I guess you could say I waited fifty years for you to touch me again.."
And touch her he did. Everywhere, a trail of passion that began at her collarbone and whispered down her spine to cause her to shiver and cling to him, knees weakened by the path his hand was taking. Slipping between her legs to gently stroke and caress, and slide the moisture along her inner thighs so that she moved her legs apart slightly and arched her back, bringing her centre in harder contact with his hand. She felt him smile against her skin, his mouth now working downward, tongue circling her erect nipples that peaked and quivered beneath this mouth.
"Fifty years is a lot of foreplay..." His mouth continued to nibble and he paused in his task briefly to deliver his comment, causing her to giggle a little, then gasp as his hands moved back up to rub against her moisture, hot and aching.
She was fumbling with his pants now, struggling a little with the zip, and laughing her pulled her hands away and walked her backwards towards the bed, turning her so that she was bent over the bed and he could run a line of hot kisses down her spine, while his hand smoothed over her stomach and arced downward , bringing her to a hot and fierce climax, her bottom pushing hard against his erection that still strained in his pants. He wasn't finished with her yet, and holding her in position, he quickly shucked off his pants and entered her hard from behind bringing her immediately to a second climax.
He made it last. Keeping the pace going until she whimpered, then stopped - holding himself back, needed to assert control over his emotions right now. When at last he could stand it no more he gave one final thrust, burying himself as deep as he could, and holding one hand tight against her stomach he emptied himself into her. Life begets life. Need begets need. Home.
She splayed on the bed, still on her stomach and he collapsed alongside her, a hand possessively running idly along her spin, her face turned toward him, blue eyes bright and questioning.
"Do you remember the dark place Gina? What was that? Why did we go there?" His hand was gentle, almost lazy, but his tone was anything but.
"We needed to strengthen the connection again, before it snapped. Both of us had weakened and we were sent there to find the strength to finish what we needed to do. Callandra told me. She told me many things before she pushed me into that rift. The journey John? It was like going to hell and back. I thought I would die. That dark place we were in was nothing. I came out battered and bruised and not knowing up from down, then when I arrived I was a blank slate. That terrified me – Angel saved me, brought me back..."
She paused then, but her hands were busy, touching him – arousing him again so that he smiled playfully at her.
"What do you think Rodney's doing right now John?"
"Lucky guy is probably enjoying a big juicy steak about now... with french fries. But just for the record? Rodney's not really on my mind right now..."
"John?"
"Hmmm...?" her hand was doing delicious things, and he would likely have promised her the moon about now.
"I'm hungry...?"
"Well sweetheart, I can take care of that..." and his own hand dipped once again into her warm centre. Stilling when it heard her stomach rumble loudly.
"Oh... that sort of hungry..."
"I haven't really eaten in two days... not so sure about the way you Lantiens treat your guests!"
And opened her eyes wide in indignation at John's roar of laughter. The best medicine of them all.