I spend most of my time sleeping. My world tends to fall apart when I'm awake, you see. Actually, the real thing is that in my dreams, you're alive, and in real life, you're not. In my dreams, there is no Capitol, there is no Hunger Games. And the most important thing that exists in my dream is the thing I miss the most: you. You exist, and that's what it makes it bearable to live in the dream world, Catnip. But unfortunately, I can't live in the dream world forever.
It's been one week since the whipping. My back is healing, painfully, just like my heart. Your mom told me that the scars will always be there. My back will never be the same. Neither my heart. I slept most of the time, and when I was awake, I pretended I was sleeping. It was easy that way. I also am in my bedroom right now. I mean the bedroom I share with Rory. He helped me to get here, in the third day. I couldn't stand being in the living room all day, so I moved to the bedroom. It was easier to sleep here anyway.
"Is he alright?" asked your mom's voice, in the living room.
"He's… He's doing ok." My mom answered, quietly.
"Since Gale helped was so much when Katniss were… were away, I thought you may need some food, since Gale can't work or hunt…"
"We signed Rory to get some tesserae… But thank you so much, that was really kind of you."
"Tomorrow Prim can get some more. She's getting worried again, about the reaping. Can she come here? To see Gale."
"He sleeps all the time, but let her come in the lunch time, he'll be awake."
They talk for a little longer, and then she leaves. I hear the noise of a door open, but looking away from the ceiling requires an effort that I'm not in the mood to make.
"Gale?"
"I'm sleeping, Rory, leave me alone."
"You're not sleeping, you're talking to me!"
"I talk when I sleep." I heard him doing a noise of frustration.
"Anyway, mom is saying that lunch is ready. Do you wanna eat?"
"No."
"But you have to, you didn't eat anything in the past two days."
"Don't care."
"You're going to get ill."
"Rory, get out."
He gives up, and leaves. I know I'll have to be in the living room today. At least at night. The Quarter Quell announcement. Before that girl from district 2 did that to you, I was only hoping that the Quarter Quell wouldn't be something has the victors having to go back to the arena. But now I don't care anymore. I just pray that Prim and Rory won't get reaped. I can't volunteer for either of them.
The night comes, and it's another day that I don't have to go to the mines, so I guess it wasn't such a bad day. I don't have good days anymore. I have terrible days, and bad days. I sit in the couch, and Posy smiles to me. I try to force a smile, but it doesn't come out really convincing. The peacekeepers entered our home, and one of them is the one that whipped me. He smiled to me, mockingly. If I were able to, I would punch him in the face. But of course I couldn't. I'm weak, Catnip. I'm freaking weak. I'm torn, I'm not the same anymore. I don't where to run, I don't know what to do. I need you with me; I'm not complete without you.
My mom turns on the TV, and the Panem's anthem starts to play. We heard, once again, the story of Panem, the Dark Days, how District 13 is today, and all this crap. And then, President Snow shows up, gives his speech as usually, just changing the end, saying a little of the Quarter Quell. All I can hear is "We're going to take the most important people in your life, put them in the arena, and get them murdered. But every 25 years, we'll make it even worst." Of course I couldn't say it out loud. The peacekeeper kept looking at me like I was a meal. An Avox brings a little box, which President Snow open, and take a small piece of paper, and read it out loud.
"In the 3rd Quarter Quell, there'll be 48 tributes." That's not new, I think. It's weird. I mean, it happened in the 2nd Hunger Games. "But… Any person of any age can volunteer to the Hunger Games." The screen goes black. I can volunteer for Rory. But there's twice the chance that Prim will get reaped.
But I just pray the odds are in her favor.