CHAPTER 35

Seeing Chuck be led away by the agent, Casey switched the coms to the CIA agents. "Sarah!"

"Talk to me, Casey. What's going on?" She asked heading toward the foyer with Bryce behind her.

"Von Hayes is on the move."

"Where?"

"He's headed for the front. He's got the chip."

That was when Bryce saw Von Hayes opening the door and turned, pointing his gun at him. "Freeze! Federal agents!"

"Hey," said Casey as they turned to the front door. "Fulcrem agent has Chuck. She's leaving out the back door."

Seeing her turn to head for the back, Bryce asked, "Sarah, what are you doing?"

"Chuck's in danger. That Fulcrum agent will kill him if we don't get-"

"No. Our covers are on that microchip. If we don't get it, all of us get killed," said Bryce, watching her look over her shoulder then turn back to him and shake her head before turning and taking off. "Sarah!"

"Bartowski and the CIA, how could it not go wrong?" Casey muttered, wondering if it was the CIA that was the source of Chuck's bad luck after all.

Feeling the gun pressed against his back as he was led out of the building, Chuck found himself shaking his head. "You know I'm getting really fed up with a lot of things today, but I'm really fucking fed up with being held at gun point. Have you ever been held at gunpoint? Do you know what it feels like? It feels annoying, let me tell you. Maybe at first it's scary but by the tenth or twelfth time it's annoying. I think the day someone has me a knife-point I'll be all smiles just for the change of pace-"

"Shut up, Jorge," the agent said warning.

"Chuck!" Sarah yelled as she ran out the door they just came through, "Duck and cover!"

Chuck did just that, falling to the ground while the Fulcrum agent turned and fired. For a moment he considered grabbing her, holding her in place, but he knew better than most that a bullet could pass through one person and kill them both. He considered grabbing her leg to trip her, but she might just turn and shoot him, and at least Sarah was surely behind cover or something.

The firing stopped as he heard a car peel away a second before Sarah rushed over to him. "Chuck! You okay?" she asked reaching for his hand as he started to get back to his feet. "Chuck. Hey."

"Yeah. Yeah. I'm fine," he said with a sigh, feeling pathetic. He'd helped rescue her and Casey days ago and reverted to the fetal position once real bullets started flying.

Sarah looked over his shoulder and found the source of the beeping she heard was a disc grenade under a nearby car. "Run!" He barely had time to react before she pushed him over the hood of a car and turned to flee, but the grenade went off, causing the car to explode, sending bits of it flying.

Peeking up over the hood at the burning car, Chuck let out a breath and patted himself down to see if any shrapnel got him. "Oh my…" His voice trailed as he turned and saw Sarah laying unconscious on the street.

"No, no," Chuck said slamming his hand into the hood of the car and practically throwing himself over the corner to run the rest of the way to her. He slid to his knees, looking her over carefully. "No, no, no, no, no."

No blood. Bruise on head. Something must have hit her. Can't leave the gun, he thought picking it from her hand and tucking it into his pocket. His first thought after that was to run to the hospital, but he remembered he wasn't alone so said into his watch. "Sarah's down."

"Where are you?" Casey answered back.

"Coming to you," Chuck said sliding a hand under her head while the other slipped around the small of her back. With a grunt he pulled her off the ground, doing his best not to jostle her head. Once she was up and resting her head on his shoulder, he slid his hand under her arms and then beneath her legs, carrying her down the street as he ran toward the van.

"Chuck what happened?" Casey asked in his ear.

He didn't answer, he was trying to breath, forcing himself to move as fast as he could while trying to support her head. Thankfully Casey wasn't so frazzled and the van met them halfway, sliding to a stop a few feet in front of Chuck.

The screech of tires pulled Sarah from unconsciousness and she blinked her eyes open to find herself staring at the neck and chin of Chuck. Looking up she saw worry and fear on his face, his brow furrowed as he took heavy breaths. The sound of the van door being thrown open made her jump slightly, and she watched as some of the fear left Chuck's face before glancing down to her.

For a second she saw relief in his eyes, but then they left her face and another set of arms took her from Chuck. She threw her legs aside, away from the arms and stumbled back out of his grasp. "I'm fine," she said, trying to ignore the sway of everything around her.

"No you're not," Chuck said putting his arm under hers again. "You're going to the hospital, Sarah."

"Fulcrum-"

"Doesn't matter," Chuck said firmly, guiding her into the van.

It was so little, nothing really, but Sarah couldn't hide her smile as they drove to the hospital. Maybe it was the concussion making her loopy, but for the first time in what felt like days she felt good. So good she barely noticed Bryce was missing until she heard Chuck talking to him over the radio, telling him what happened and where they were going.

It was disappointing that Chuck had to wait with Casey but luckily Ellie was the doctor assigned to her. She barely let on that she knew her until the nurses left the room and she turned to wrap Sarah in a gentle hug. "Thank god you're okay," she said before pulling back asking, "what happened?"

"Car blew up and a piece of it went flying into my head," she said with a laugh.

"You're lucky it's only a mild concussion. You could have died."

"It's not that bad," Sarah assured.

Ellie held her hand and smiled. "Well you're not allowed to get hurt anymore. I need you intact if you're going to be a bridesmaid."

Sarah's eyes widened. "What?"

"Don't tell me it's effecting your hearing," Ellie teased.

"You want me to be a bridesmaid at your wedding?"

Ellie nodded. "I do."

"I think you're supposed to say that to Devon," said Sarah. After the two laughed, she asked quietly, "Can Chuck come in?"

Ellie frowned and shook her head. "I want you rest, Sarah. I'll make sure he's here first thing in the morning, but I want you to try and relax. You're going to have a sporadic sleep anyway with me and the nurses coming in to check on you."

"Please, El," Sarah whispered. "Everything is so…"

"I'm sure it will be fine," Ellie said squeezing her hand.

"He hates me, Ellie," she said with a dry sob. "I made him hate me."

Ellie frowned and leaned forward to wrap the woman in another hug. "No he doesn't. You wouldn't think that if you saw him pacing out there. He'd probably annoying the nurses asking about you."

"He carried me," she said with a laugh as they separated. Seeing Ellie's confusion she explained, "When I woke up he was carrying me to the van. I thought he hated me but he looked so worried."

"Sarah-" Ellie stopped herself. She could ask her to explain the deal with her ex, tell her how miserable Chuck was because of it, but she really couldn't. She wanted Sarah to get better, and right now that mattered more, so Ellie put her sisterly concerns aside. "Try to get some rest. I'll tell Chuck to stop by your place and pick up some clothes for you. Does he have a key?"

Shaking her head, she said, "He can ask the super or Casey can get him in."

Ellie couldn't help her frown from showing. "Casey has a key?" Though unspoken her, but Chuck doesn't? was loud and clear.

"He has lock picks," Sarah answered.

With a laugh Ellie started for the door. "I'll let him know."

Sarah watched her leave and found herself sinking back against the pillow with a sigh. She had been so afraid that Chuck hated her. That he stopped caring about her, but she saw it again when he carried her. She'd hurt him, embarrassed him, made him miserable, but he still cared about her.

Despite what she felt, it seemed he wasn't the only one as not long after sunrise the flowers started showing up. Dozens of them, enough to open her own florist shop, all filling a table in the corner of the room and all from Bryce. She knew because she checked every card, and each one left her disappointed, putting it back and handing it to the nurse to set aside.

It was still early, just after visiting hours started when she had been trying to get another nap in before the next nurse came to check her but raised her head when she noticed a tall man approaching her room. A smile touched her lips seeing Chuck pull open the door with flowers in hand.

"Hi," he said closing the door behind him.

"Hey," she said softly, her smile growing seeing him smile at her.

"I, uh, brought some gardenias," he said sheepishly, stepping toward the bed.

"They're my favorite," she marveled at how yet again he seemed to know her without her even trying. "How did you know?"

"Well I'm not entirely incompetent, you know?" He said careful not to say spy. Best to avoid that whole thing for now.

"Thank you," she said, her smile fading slightly as she said, "You can put them over there."

Chuck turned to see the floral corner and nodded. "Bryce Larkin, huh?" Turning back to her he gave a relenting smile. "I guess no matter what it is, I'll always come in second to that guy."

Keeping her eyes on him she told him, "Not always."

To her relief that made his smile grow more sincere and brightened his face as he turned to set the flowers on a table beneath the x-rays, separate from Bryce's, before sitting near the foot of her bed. "So Ellie said you had a concussion?"

"Oh, it's just a minor concussion, I'm fine. It's my ego that's hurt more than anything."

Looking Sarah over in the bed, Chuck frowned. "I'm so sorry, Sarah. It's my fault. If I didn't get fired, this never would've happened."

"Hey, don't apologize, okay?" she said firmly, though still touched by the sentiment, "It is not your job to protect me."

"Well… all things being considered, that's probably a good thing," he said with a grim smile. He could spiral into himself at the thought, but she didn't need that now.

"Yeah, you have a lot of good qualities," she said, a smile taking her lips as she continued, "but, uh, I'm not sure 'bodyguard' is one of them."

Matching her smile he nodded. "Now if you needed someone to tell you the difference between each Flash or Green Lantern, I'm your guy."

Sarah grinned saying, "Yeah. You are." She instantly regretted saying it as she watched his smile falter while he looked toward the X-rays. "You know we were barely past hello when you knocked." When he looked to her with an arched brow she said, "Bryce. I came home and he just showed up, and then you were at the door seconds later."

"Oh." She watched a flicker of a smile cut through his surprise before it sank again and he shook his head, his gaze falling to the floor. "It's not my place to ask. You guys are both professional spies, partners, I get it."

"Chuck," she said grabbing his hand, tugging it so he would look at her. When he did, she stared into his eyes, pleading with him to believe her as she told him, "What Bryce and I had is in the past."

Seeing him smile again, sincere and toothy, she felt relief swell inside her while he squeezed her hand. He wanted to do more, to say more, but they both knew it was too public to be anything but vague. Not with a corner of flowers she was sure had a bug or two mixed into them. Still, she didn't want to risk him saying too much, so said, "I never asked how you did on your test."

"Passed it," he said with a nod. "Just barely, I think. They don't really tell you, but I knew most of it and the rest I kind of winged or went with what felt right."

"And you have another today?" When he nodded she squeezed his hand. "I know you'll do well." Seeing him look at her she said quietly, "What I said wasn't what I meant, Chuck."

He saw in her eyes that she intended to explain later, so he nodded and brushed his thumb against her hand before standing, letting their fingers linger against each other as they separated. "I gave Ellie some clothes for you. If you need anything, well, call her cause she's closer, or Casey if there's trouble, but I'll be around if you're bored and want to complain about the nurses or food or whatever you want."

With a parting smile Chuck left the hospital feeling lighter than he had since trying to pull The Montgomery. Things still weren't settled, but it seemed now like she hadn't tossed him aside for a romp with Bryce like he'd feared.

His peace ended at Echo Park when Bryce walked straight toward him the moment he passed through the arch saying, "Chuck."

Tensing at the sudden appearance, Chuck held up his hands to the agent and shook his head. "You… Wow. You really ought to think about toning down the entrances a notch."

Bryce pulled off his glasses. "Sorry, comes with the job."

"Uh, look, I've-I've already had a pretty long day and I've got another test," he said walking toward Casey's, "so if you have any life-changing bombs that you'd like to drop on me, could you please save them for later?"

"I'm worried about Sarah."

"She got a minor concussion and a few bruises. She'll be fine," Chuck assured.

"No, that's not what I'm worried about," Bryce said rounding on him as both came to a stop. "She went off mission. Not only did we lose the microchip and the Fulcrum agent, the two of you almost got killed."

"Okay, she went off mission to protect me, which by the way, is her primary job, and wins her points in my book."

"Sarah has feelings for you, Chuck," Bryce said pointedly, his tone softening with concern as he continued, "Feelings that will get her killed. The people we deal with are cold-blooded assassins. They have no emotions, no feelings. The only chance we have against Fulcrum is to think and act like they do. Anything less gets us killed."

"Sarah knows what she's doing, Bryce," Chuck said shaking his head. "And besides, you're wrong."

"About?"

"Everything," Chuck said meeting his eyes. "You think we have to be like Fulcrum to win? All you're doing it becoming them. You can tell yourself you're doing it for a good reason, but you're still making a choice to abandon what makes you human. It's a choice they made because, ultimately, they're weak. And if you make that choice you're just as weak as they are. Attachments are only a weakness if you let them be, but bonds make you stronger. They're allies you can rely on. They bolster you when you're weak, push you further, make you better than you are."

"This isn't some comic, Chuck. We can't win with the power of friendship. We need to be objective."

"Objective? You're saying that we need to be objective. That you are objective?"

"Yes, I am," said Bryce.

Chuck nodded. "Okay. Kill yourself."

Bryce's eyes widened. "What?"

"It's the objective choice," Chuck said crossing his arms. "Right now Fulcrum thinks you have the Intersect. If you die they think it's gone but I'm still around to use it without them knowing it's still active. So if you really want to make the objective move against Fulcrum take out your gun, put it in your mouth and pull the trigger."

Bryce stared at him, seconds passing until he shook his head. "I'm not killing myself, Chuck."

"Then go on a mission and die. Don't let a Fulcrum agent shoot you, we know they can bring you back. You need to leap off a building, smash your head into the ground, let a grenade go off near your head, do whatever it takes to make sure they think the Intersect is gone." He shrugged seeing Bryce gape at him. "Anything else is driven by emotion and self preservation, which aren't objective.

"Objectively, you being alive serves no purpose that another loyal agent can't fill apart from making Fulcrum think the Intersect is someplace it isn't. The better option is for them to not know it exist, but since that's impossible the next best option is for them to not know it's active while it still is. So either die or start realizing objectivity isn't always the answer. You don't want to die? Get people you trust, prepare for as much as you can and fight until you've got nothing left. Anything less…"

With his brow knit, Bryce shook his head. "This isn't about me, Chuck. It's about Sarah."

"Why? Because she didn't do your job for you? Or did you not understand the part where her job is to protect me? The job that she was on before you came back from the dead and the job she'll have after you're gone. It's not her fault you couldn't stop some millionaire. Not even some kind of operative or a mercenary, just some rich guy. Bringing us back to the fact that any agent could apparently do your job.

"Or," Chuck cocked his head asking, "are you just pissed she chose me over you again?"

Bryce's eyes darkened before he scoffed. "Really? You think she chose you over me?"

"I think that's how you'd see it," Chuck corrected. "I see it as she chose the job she had over going AWOL with you, but then I was the one who had to deal with her being pissed at me for holding her back while you were probably just pissed the pretty girl didn't run to your bed.

"You don't need to remind me I'm not as good as the great super spy Bryce Larkin, I have plenty of reminders of you. Every time I wish I had my degree. Every time I see Ellie look at with that flicker of sadness for what my life has become. Every time I had a flash and have my head filled with images of bombs, corpses, murderers. Every time we go out and I have to sit there and watch her and Casey put their lives on the line for me because I'm too pathetic to defend myself. Every time I watch them put their lives on the line knowing I can't help them, and if I tried I'd just get in their way. Every time someone reminds me they need a real agent, not some asset who is little more than government property! Every time I watch her get hurt because of me!"

Chuck let out a breath, having not realized his voice had risen until he saw Bryce lean back slightly and frown. Shaking his head, Chuck said, "So no, I don't need to be reminded that I'll never be like you. That a girl like that would never really be with me if it wasn't her job. But the fact you think a girl like that deserves you makes me wonder how such an idiot ever got into Stanford, because she deserves so much better than you. The fact that she broke free from all the CIA bullshit they tell you and found her heart again just proves that she is better than you and everyone else like you.

"But you know what, if you really think giving up your humanity is what it takes, then I don't want to be an agent. Maybe you're all right. Maybe she was right. I can never be an agent, because no matter, no matter how much it hurts or how hard it gets, I'm not giving them up. I'm done being numb. Sarah, Casey, Ellie, Awesome, all of them are worth it." Chuck clutched the front of his shirt over his heart. "Give me everything. Rip it apart. Tear me to shreds, and I'm just going to keep getting up because I am better than the Bryce Larkins of the world."

Bryce stared as Chuck as the taller man stormed past him, pounding on Casey's door. It opened and Chuck was surprised when he found Casey grinning at him. Suddenly all the bravado that had flooded Chuck turned to embarrassment realizing they were in the courtyard. The courtyard full of cameras and bugs. Cameras and bugs Casey monitored.

Casey watched Chuck rush inside to the computer with his head down before looking over to Larkin stood frozen in place digesting all Chuck said. With a shrug, he closed the door and walked over to the table, sitting in his usual seat as Chuck began his test.

It was about five minutes later when Chuck looked up. "Casey?" When he looked up from his paper he found Chuck smiling. "You're better than him too. The choice you made was hard and a bit cruel, but you did it for a reason. You cared about your fiancee too in your own way, otherwise you wouldn't have done what you did to keep her safe. Even if you don't go to Alex, I know you care about her in some way."

Casey nodded, folding the paper. "I went to the diner after we came back from Rio. She's a good waitress. Friendly, good with people in a way I never was. Pretty like her mother, so lucky. Smart too."

A bright smile crossed Chuck's face. "You're good people, Casey. Whenever you decide to let her know she'll be lucky to have a father like you."

With that, Chuck looked back to the computer while Casey wondered if Chuck was right about bonds. His choice then had felt right, but things had changed. He had changed. And it all started with Bartowski. He took two heartless killers and gave them their hearts back without them event wanting them.

A laugh escaped Casey as he thought to himself, He's a curse.

AN:

So all Chuck's anger the last few chapters builds to him blowing up on Bryce here. He was close to punching him and going Piranha after him during the party, but he's cooled down enough after learning he didn't sleep with Sarah to go down to a verbal punch. It was actually a bit frustrating to keep it from going into tangents, I had one about Gray Jedis but cut it. It was still fun to write though, especially the end since I hadn't planned much beyond Chuck generally going off on him and pointing out the stuff from the mission.