CHAPTER 48 – TOO MUCH TOO SOON
The culmination of their night had been far from ordinary. He lay beside her in bed very early the next morning, the darkness still a constant outside his balcony, the soft breeze from the water coming in through the open doors. Her hair tickled his shoulder and he touched it gently with one finger, continuing the journey down her arm, across her breast and down her stomach... then lower. She murmured something in her sleep and he smiled. He knew he should let her sleep, but couldn't help himself. Dipping a finger inside her warmth he felt her body immediately squirm and looking down at her saw that her blue eyes were open and laughing at him.
"Normal, huh? Can't seem to get enough can you, Mr Normal?"
"Nope... could do this forever... touching you like this..." His fingers slid smoothly and her smile became a sigh, then a moan as sensations raced through her, building her to a steady and undeniable climax. When he felt her shudder against him he rolled her smoothly and entered her in one stroke, watching her eyes widen, then gleam wickedly. Normal and ordinary. This lady was anything but and the things she made him feel? He could write a book on the spectrum of emotions she had invoked in him. But normal and ordinary? He was deluding himself there. They were meant for much more...
He fell asleep again with those thoughts in his head and never felt her leave the bed, rest a gentle hand on his unruly dark hair and smile down at him. He looked at peace for the first time since she had met him, as though his demons had finally gone back to the hell from whence they had come. She had work to do, and just as she knew it would, it had already begun to consume her. Rodney's work. Rodney's legacy. It needed to be completed.
She gathered his notes together, excellent just as he had told her but could already see that he had missed some small patterns that had not presented itself to him. Rodney had been attempting to prove that you could be in two places at once without consequence, not just in time, but in dimension but when he had begun his research he had not allowed for the fact that a safeguard, a fail safe – was needed. The same as those the ancients had designed for the time portal. She picked up his hand held computer now, having surmised that most of the data had been stored in there and left his laboratory. She had a little field trip to make.
When John awoke two hours later the bed was empty and cold and he threw back the covers, concerned that she was perhaps ill. His quarters showed no sign of her and he saw that her clothes had gone. Showering quickly he threw his own on forcing himself to relax. Likely she had gone to get some fresh air, a walk – hell they weren't glued to one another. He just thought that she would be there when he woke up. Again.
He did a circuit of the more obvious places within the city that she was likely to be. At least in his mind. Ending up in the mess he found Ronon and Teyla,chatting together over toast and coffee and at his grim look, Ronon's eyebrows raised slightly.
"Lost her already Sheppard? You've got that look on your face."
"Actually Ronon, nail on the head man. She's been gone a couple of hours. Likely she's just taken Angel for a walk somewhere, but I've got that damn testosterone powered need to keep her in sight – at least for now. Hate that I feel that way and I don't want to smother her, but this time and distance crap, I'm scared the string is a tenuous one and scared I guess... she just won't be there anymore. Until I can get a handle on that, I'll stick to the smothering thing... and hope to hell I don't drive her away!"
Teyla smiled sympathetically. "Would you like us to help you look for her John. Discreetly. So it doesn't appear you are keeping watch on her. Perhaps I could engage her in a womanly activity, or instruct her in my culture a little. There is much she needs to learn about the city. I would be honoured to spend a little time each day giving her instruction."
"Train her Sheppard, or get one of the marines to. If she's ever going to go offworld, she'll need some sort of combat, weapons training. We can't have her running around the galaxy with no means of self defence. Or not able to watch our backs. Get my drift?"
"Yeah Ronon, I got that. I guess where she's concerned, I'm not thinking clearly at the moment, thinking with the wrong parts. You're right. She needs to spend time getting up to speed on everything around here. Teyla, thank you. I will talk to her about what you suggested and if you could find some time each day to do this, I would be most appreciative. Ronon? Why don't you train her? You've trained all our other teams, you're the best weapons and hand to hand fighter we have here in Atlantis. She's been around military all her life, so weapons are not likely to be a problem."
"Babysit her Sheppard? You're asking us to babysit her? She'll skin you alive, man."
"Only is she finds out Ronon. Keep it discreet. If I follow her around all day, then she'll certainly know it's a babysitting thing, but if I get you guys on board, it'll seem more legit."
"I speak for myself Colonel Sheppard, but I will be happy to assist. I am growing fond of her and would like the opportunity to spend more time with her and get to know her better." She looked at Ronon, knowing that opposition, if it was to come, would be from him. The big Satedan could be unpredictable and stubborn, especially if he really didn't want to do something, but she saw him nod once.
"I'll do it John, but because you're my friend. I'm not sure about her yet. You know I don't trust easily and as I don't understand her reasons for being here, I'm not comfortable with her."
"I got that Ronon... and I respect your feelings. But I don't want to see her hurt. It wasn't her choice to come here, she's here by design not her own actions and I want it to be a smooth transition for her, not a scary and unpleasant one. You guys are my friends, as well as part of my team. Consider this one of our team building activities."
"Sort of like movie night..." Teyla smiled at Ronon, knowing that the Satedan enjoyed this particular team building ritual.
"And I can teach her anything to do with combat. Anything?" He saw the gleam in Ronon's eye and was about to argue, but stopped himself. And hoped that Gina would be able to handle herself with Ronon. The big guy would be out to prove something, and he wouldn't be able to interfere too much, especially since he had been the one to ask the favour. He caught Teyla's eye and she nodded carefully at him, immediately understanding his concern. Teyla would make sure that Ronon was gentle.
He heard Angel barking and that was his first clue. The second was the sneezes that came in quick succession and he grinned. Maybe they hadn't lost Rodney afterall. Seems like Gina had stepped up to take his place in more ways than one. But he was concerned by where he had found her. He stood in the doorway of the room where the time rift was located, the room they had found her in just days ago. Where she now sat in the semi darkness, having arranged a row of lanterns on a bench so that some light permeated into the otherwise dark room - Angel sniffing around the room, having done her job in alerting John to their presence here.
"Gina, whatcha doing in here. This room is out of bounds, Elizabeth made that perfectly clear. The sign on the outside of the door pretty much reinforces that just in case you had forgotten. But somehow I don't think you had... hmmm?"
She was dusty and had smudges of dirt on her face. She sat on the floor, near where he had found her, back hard against the wall holding something in her hand. He noticed that Rodney's hand held computer was on the floor beside her and wondered how she had managed to retrieve the data inside it. Knowing that Rodney would have had it strictly password protected. She understood how Rodney's mind worked, thought John. That much was starting to become clear.
She hadn't replied to him, hadn't looked up at him and he squatted down now beside her in the dust, and reached out to wipe a smudge of dirt from her face.
"Gina. Why are you down here. And what's in your hand?" He reached out to open her hand - she had attempted to cover what she held, to hide it from him? He wasn't sure. Perhaps to hide it from herself and the questions that had no doubt come to surface. In the palm of her hand lay the hand held heat infuser, the one that remained a black hole in his memory, at least from the first time he had supposedly tried it out.
"Gina, where did you get that? Did you bring it down here?" Still no reply from her and he took her chin firmly in his hand now, and pulled her face around gently, wanting her to look at him.
It was with reluctance that she brought her eyes up to meet his.
"I found it here, on the floor. It's the same one. The same one that Rodney had with him on P8T198 before he went through the portal. Did he take it through with him? I can't remember. Why can't I remember something like that? I can see it in his hand, and the look on your face - you were angry that you could still not remember the first time you and Rodney played around with it. I could see that in your eyes, but didn't really understand then,why that was so important to you. I think I do now. But I need to remember if he took it with him."
"Gina, snap out of it. Now. You're sitting here on a dirty cold dusty floor with a device in your hand, trying to remember something inconsequental."
Her eyes sparked now and he involuntarily shifted back a little, letting go of her chin.
"Inconsequential? Don't belittle this - you certainly didn't days ago when you realised that it was not in your memory. You didn't then, so don't do it now. I found this here John, on the floor - in this room. By what has been previously used as a time rift. If this is the same one that Rodney had then it is more than consequential. It has implications you need to seriously consider as being a possible security threat to this base."
He saw the censure in her gaze and heard the anger in her voice and was taken back by it. "Gina, where is all this coming from? Yes, I was angry that I couldn't remember the device, and yes, it is still a damn black hole where that memory should be. But why are you angry? Because I don't see it as important anymore?"
She pushed at him to get him to move, then moved effortlessly to her feet, back still hard against the wall. She felt a little threatened by him as he mirrored her movements, bringing him close in front of her and he placed a hand on one side of her against the wall, to keep her from moving again.
"You're not making sense sweetheart... security threat to the base? This device. You've been at this for hours I think, and need to step back and look at things through clear eyes."
She ducked under his arm, needing a little distance from him, and he grabbed for her as she moved past, but he was too slow and when he turned she was already on the other side of the room, shifting the device from hand to hand. He found himself mesmerised by that movement and had to drag his eyes upward to meet her blue ones, not so calm, and not so gentle. They had a fierce light in them, with dark smudges underneath that showed she still ran on low fuel.
"I've figured out something John, just as Rodney knew I would - knew I would if he wasn't here. You have no memory of this device because it didn't exist in that particular dimension."
She didn't quantify her comment, just continued the light tossing of the device from hand to hand. He stalked silently around the table, his very motion causing her to move backwards until he was in front of her again and she had pushed herself back against the wall. He gripped the device before she could transfer it the other hand. Tossing the device down on the table he grabbed one of her wrists, gripping it tightly and pulled her towards him.
"Explain. Now." His voice was clipped. He was Colonel John Sheppard now, not the considerate lover she had shared the bed with last night. And he was angry.
"Schrodingers cat John. Let me go, you're hurting." She twisted slightly to pull away, only succeeding in causing his grip to tighten and she cried out. "Damn it John. Let me go."
He didn't appear to listen, kept his grip firm and his eyes on hers. "That is not a damn cat Gina,and this is no stupid quantum mechanics experiment. There is one reality. One dimension and sweetheart, we are both in it. You're barking up the wrong tree and so was Rodney. Time travel is bad enough, but let's get one thing straight Gina. Get yourself too caught up in Rodney's theories and assumptions and his outright arrogance, and you'll find yourself crashing down so hard that you head spins. Stay grounded Gina. Do the obvious, do what needs to be done. Leave the theoretical for someone else, someone who has their feet planted firmly in this timeline. You are still getting settled in this one and this will just send you somewhere you don't need to go right now."
His voice was hard and when he suddenly released her wrist, his eyes flickered down involuntarily and he saw the red marks that he had made and shut his eyes briefly. He had let his anger take over, had failed to keep that calm centre that had been his safe place to go to. She had forced him there,to this point and he felt that anger boil up again. Not her fault John, damn it. Not her fault. Rodney put this in her head. Rodney set the pace on this one so don't take it out on her.
Softer now, he repeated. "There is only one dimension Gina - you need to realise that and live in this one. Rodney was wrong."
"Are you sure of that John? Think back about other things that someone has mentioned, that is not familiar to you and should be. I'll wager that it's not just this device. Rodney's theory - expansion on Schrodingers cat. He thinks there is a dimensional portal here, in Atlantis. Theoretical physics attributes that there are an infinite number of parallel universes, but as yet unproven because we have not found the way to get to them. Rodney has been documenting times and events, where things have appeared here in Atlantis, while some have mysteriously disappeared. While one person remembers one things, and someone remembers another. He thought that we shifted sometimes, certain people at different times, between one or more dimensions but because they are all almost indentical, we would never know. There would only been fractional differences, ones that we would likely not even pick up... except when a certain colonel realised that he had a black hole regarding one particular device. And attributed this to memory loss from time travel..."
"Because I made a fuss..." his voice was soft now.
"Because you made a fuss John. Ordinary small things, forgotten or changed.. most likely never picked up. And larger things? Put down to simple memory loss. And the shifts - likely not happening all the time, but occasional random shifts - it may never happen to some people, those whose routine never differs - they take the same paths, the same hallways, use the same rooms each day. The dimensional shifts, if Rodney's theory proves true, occur in places and are more likely to occur if you are using different areas, not taking the same paths."
"I still don't accept these theories - I'm sorry Gina. I'm sorry to show anger before, at you - when none of this is your fault, and I'm sorry for his..." he pointed to her wrist, where she had absently rubbed at the reddened marks. "I would never hurt you intentionally. But I can't accept those theories of Rodney's, there is no proof - it is all conjecture and sounds like something Rodney dreamed up because he was bored."
"You're acting as though you think I should know better! First you treat me like a child..." He voice drifting off and she turned so that she was not looking at him. His radio clicked on then and impatiently he activated it to hear Elizabeth's voice.
"I'm in the lower level lab, the one where we found Gina... yes, I know it's off limits Elizabeth. I had to deal with something..." when he turned back the 'something' had gone - along with her little white dog and he huffed an impatient breath, thinking that perhaps he hadn't handled that situation as well as he could have and that the babysitting idea he had sprung on Ronon and Teyla was one of his better ones. If she was chasing Rodney's off the cuff and unproven theories about dimension shifting, he certainly wanted nothing to do with it and would do his best to ensure that she didn't either. He'd find other ways to keep her busy. There was ample work to be done in other areas and he would have a talk with Elizabeth about just where to direct her skills. Feeling better about that decision he had just made he went to leave the room, missing the fact that the hand held heat infuser was suddenly no longer on the table. Where he had left it.