Apparently, the thing to do after blackmailing someone to work for you was a celebratory lunch at a cafe. As soon as order had been returned to the office, the group of detectives and Naomi had chaperoned Harry down to the cafe on the first floor of the building. Tanizaki and Naomi sat across from Harry in a booth, while Dazai and Kunikida occupied the bar.

Harry glanced around the cafe curiously. The establishment was covered in warm wood while porcelain tea sets speckled the room with bright floral splashes. It was somewhat homey and not at all what one would expect from a place frequented by users of the supernatural. Though, given what he'd seen in the wizarding world... this could be considered downright normal.

"Ano..." Harry blinked and turned his attention to Tanizaki and his 'sister'. The red headed young adult continued. "Sorry about acting so rudely. Even though it was only acting, I apologize for my behavior." Tanizaki bowed his head in what Harry come to realize was a form of respect or in this case apology.

"It's okay. I know you were put up to it." Harry shot a heavy glance over at Dazai and Kunikida. Considering all he'd seen, Harry figured it was Dazai who had pushed for Harry's mandatory employment.

"Ah..." The red head murmured uncomfortably as he too glanced over at the detective. Currently, Kunikida was kicking at Dazai rather angrily.

"A-Anyway, my name is Tanizaki Junichiro. I also work at the agency, though only as a kind of assistant. This is-"

"His little sister, Naomi." Naomi cheerfully announced as she wrapped her arms around Junichiro's neck. Harry frowned.

"No, you're not." Harry said. "You don't even look like you share blood."

"Oh?" Naomi asked deviously. She ran a delicate hand across Junichiro's face. "You doubt us?" Her hand trailed lower. "Of course, we're siblings by blood. We're quite simi-"

"No, you're not. Stop lying. I can smell you and you both have entirely different sets of parents. You may live together and share some of your scent, but your sires and dams are different." Harry interrupted. Normally, he wouldn't be so rude. However, Harry didn't appreciate being lied to so blatantly and he didn't want he hand to continue such acts while he was in the room. It wasn't decent. Just for good measure, Harry sniffed again. Yup, definitely not related. They were just living together and passing themselves off for siblings.

Naomi looked shocked at Harry's somewhat aggressive attitude. "N-No, we r-really are sib-"

"Stop lying to me. I don't care what you pass yourselves off as. I won't tell. But stop lying to me. I have a problem with people who lie." Harry grit his teeth. Both his cat instincts and his rational mind hated lies. To hear some little girl lie so blatantly to his face, after he had already called her out on it, was really annoying. It made him want to bare his teeth and growl.

"Mmm... well isn't this interesting." Dazai's voice caused all three to jump. Somehow the man had snuck up on them without their notice. Harry yelped and instinctively bared his teeth. Of course, the only thing his reaction did was cause the man to chuckle and muss his hair fondly.

"Hey!" Harry yelped as he swatted Dazai's hand away.

"I didn't know your sense of smell was so efficient, Hari-kun." Though his tone was mirthful, Dazai's eyes showed a keen interest.

"You didn't ask!" Harry grumbled. He folded his arms petulantly. Yes, he was a (technically) criminal with magic. However, that did not entitle other people to knowing every little thing about him! Jeez! He'd only known these people for about twenty-four hours anyway. Why should he trust them with anything they could use later? Yeah, being able to smell about as well as a Bengal tiger was useful, but it could also be dangerous. If somebody wanted to knock him out or impair his judgement, all they would have to do would be to spray him with some mid-range cleaning supplies.

"From now on, it would be wise to share such intelligence with us. Like it or not, today you have joined the ranks of the Armed Detective Agency. It's now our duty as your co-workers to ensure your well-being. Should an enemy operative use any gas-based attack, your combat effectiveness would be severely impaired." Kunikida joined in. He too had left the bar to join the three younger agency members. Kunikida pushed his glasses up and gave the three a look of severity from within their bright frames.

"Any action you do will now reflect back on the agency. Please keep that in mind and don't do anything to deface the agency." Kunikida glared at them as he delivered what sounded more like a threat than a warning. Harry could hear the unspoken 'Or else' hidden within his tone.

"O-okay," Harry said quietly before looking down at the tear in front of him. Sheesh, that guy felt like McGonagall on a Weasley-Twin-Prank-Day. Or maybe Snape? No, it was more like a mixture of the two... Harry shivered. Not even his cart side wanted to pick a fight with that.

"It's times like these where your school teacher aura really comes through...ha-ha..." Junichiro laughed awkwardly and rubbed the back of his neck. He didn't seem as affected by Kunikida's death glare. Harry supposed he must have built up some sort of immunity.

"So, you used to be a school teacher?" Harry asked somewhat trepidatiously. Kunikida frowned before cuffing Junichiro on the head.

"He's supposed to guess, remember?" The blonde detective chastised. Though his tone was rough, even Harry could tell that Kunikida was only slightly annoyed. He hadn't even cuffed Junichiro that hard. Meanwhile, the older of the Tanizaki 'siblings' flushed scarlet.

"Ah! Gomen! I forgot!" The red head cried. Kunikida sighed and grumbled something under his breath. He turned back to Harry a moment later.

"Here at the Agency, we have a tradition for the rookies. A kind of training, if you will. Instead of telling kohai about our previous careers and lives, we make them guess. It's an easy way to introduce younger members to the problem and mystery solving skills needing in most of our jobs. However, as silly Tanizaki here has let out, I was indeed once a school teacher. I taught algebra at a high school level. Now, perhaps you'd like to guess the others' previous positions?" Kunikida explained before gesturing to his co-workers.

"Huh... makes sense I guess." Harry murmured before turning his attention to the other agency employees.

"Naomi-San is still a student. I can smell pencil led and perfume on her... you hang out with a preppy click, don't you?" Naomi looked briefly surprised before brightening.

"Hai!" She agreed cheerfully. "Your nose really is useful isn't it." Harry hummed in reply before looking at Junichiro. Only a three-year difference in age...

"You met Naomi-San at school, right?" Harry asked. Both 'siblings' sucked in breaths of air. They didn't seem to appreciate their cover story being ignored so easily.

"Yes." The word seemed to pain the red head and he glanced about anxiously. He seemed to think just that small admittance would damn him. Harry turned aside. He wouldn't pull all the two's secrets out from the closet. It made them upset and it wasn't any of his business anyway. So long as they weren't blatantly lying to him about it and it caused no harm Harry didn't care. Just... no inappropriate actions in plain sight please! He mentally begged.

"And that leaves me I suppose... though I will admit that it's nice to know you two aren't actually related. Still, remember to use protection." Dazai taunted the Tanizakis. Junichiro turned beet red while Naomi seemed to puff up with pride. Harry sighed and turned away. He really didn't want to know. Beside Dazai, Kunikida twitched before turning away. It was clear the blond did not care for the current conversation topic.

"Were you..." Harry trailed off. He really didn't know what to make of Dazai. The man was capricious as the wind and about as controllable. Harry couldn't see him working a normal job for a normal employer. He'd drive everyone there nuts within a week. So... something un-normal...

"A knife thrower at a circus?" Harry ventured tentatively. For a moment the room was quiet. Then Dazai burst into raucous laughter.

"Nope! Ha-ha! Definitely a good one though! No one has guessed that one before!" The man cried in mirthful joy.

"Hmmm..." Harry hummed as his eyebrows came together in concentration. Kunikida snorted derisively.

"Don't bother, brat. Dazai's previous career is one of the Armed Detective Agency's Seven Unsolved Mysteries." The man said authoritatively. Harry raised an eyebrow. A challenge?

"Motorcycle stuntman?"

"Nope."

"Grave digger?"

"Not quite?"

"That sounded like a question."

"Yes. You should keep asking them."

"Arsonist?"

"Only on occasion!"

"Thief."

"Depends on who you ask."

"Smuggler!"

"Too plebeian!"

"Escape artist? An engineer who designs safes for banks? Bad boy idol?"

"That's one part. Not even close. I'm certainly handsome enough to be on TV, but sadly my talents were never quite recognized." Dazai flipped his hair and Harry grimaced. Great, he'd managed to stoke the man's already obese ego.

...

Could it be?

"Aristocrat?" Harry questioned with his head to the side. The man really did remind him of some of the purebloods he had met. Stuck up, sure of themselves, and utterly foolish when it came to life outside their fancy palaces.

"Nope."

"You act like them."

"Why thank you!"

"That wasn't a compliment."

"Either way, you can take the check, kohai." Dazai held up the receipt. Harry blinked dumbly for minute as his brain transitioned.

"Why? I don't even have any money yet. Besides you're my... senpai." Harry struggled a moment with the foreign word. "Shouldn't you help a younger co-worker out?" Harry raised an eyebrow in irritated challenge at Dazai. He hadn't even wanted to come eat at the cafe. There was no reason for him to foot the bill.

"Moshi, Moshi? Tanizaki speaking." Harry blinked and turned to look at the red head. Junichiro had pulled out a rectangular device, flipped it open, and then started talking into it. It took Harry a moment to recognize the device as a mobile telephone. He flushed slightly in embarrassment and hoped no one noticed. Harry knew that being in the wizarding world had kept him from keeping up with the muggle realm of scientific advancement, but he hadn't thought it was that bad.

"Yes, okay... got it." Tanizaki spoke into the phone.

"We have a job?" Kunikida asked with interest. The other detectives also looked on in sharp interest. Harry could feel the room's aura turn from amusement to sharp inquisitive curiosity.

"Yes. The client is already at the agency."

Dazai stood.

"Well, it's time to work," the brown-haired man announced. "Let's save the guessing game for another time." Dazai smiled as the others also stood. Harry looked around in slight trepidation. This was it. Time to get to work at the Armed Detective Agency.

Last week was horrible. And so was this week. So, I know this is short, but please bear with me. Midterms tried to eat me. I'm freaking traumatized.

Also, considering that the reason I don't watch real TV is because of all the sex, raunchy crap, and gross relationships shown, it should not surprise you that the Tanizakis are not going to be real siblings. They are calling themselves siblings in order to hide from something that will be revealed at a later date. If you like that incestuous/gross kind of stuff, leave. I don't give a crap. Showing a kiss at the end of the movie (or in the marriage scene) is one thing. Having to watch two people trying to eat each others faces is gross, and burning my virgin eyes. I don't appreciate the modern day's lack of modesty and my writing is going to reflect that. Its gross and if somebody wants to do something sexual with someone else they need to get a room. I don't appreciate it and I don't want to see it.

Review if you like what I did to the Tanizakis (or not... I don't care, you guys don't review much anyway)

~Blitza