CHAPTER 38
Chuck felt nervous the day of his final test, but none of it had to do with the exam. No, his nerves came from the fact that he and Sarah were real now. He'd spent the whole night thinking over what it meant, what was possible now, and it left him exhausted and exhilarated. The fact they'd all but verbally agreed to have sex had hit him just as he was getting tired and left him concerned.
Not only did it have to be something they planned, but it was something he hadn't done in years. And now he was supposed to do it with the most beautiful woman in the world, the woman he loved but couldn't say that to because he was sure it would be too much too soon and maybe even scare her enough to call it all off. Even if he wasn't so out of practice he failed miserably there was a chance he could slip in the heat of the moment and say something that could scare her away.
It took him hours to talk himself out of the spiral, but eventually he got a couple hours sleep before Casey texted him telling him the test was on in an hour. Rolling out of bed with a smile, Chuck put on his ipod, dancing to Huey Lewis as he picked out his clothes for the day before making his way to the bathroom to brush his teeth.
That was when he noticed the mirrors were fogged and wiped it just as Devon was doing the same with the shower screen while Ellie peeked out over his shoulder, gasping as Chuck yelped. Snapping his hands over his eyes, Chuck hurried out of the bathroom, deciding he'd skip the shower for now.
Breakfast was awkward as expected, but Chuck could see Ellie was torn between wishing she'd remembered to lock the door and wanting to ask Chuck about what happened the night before. So Chuck took pity on her and decided to break the ice.
"Okay first of all, congratulations, Devon, on the…" He waved in his direction, "On what god gave ya." While Devon snickered and Ellie rolled her eyes he continued, "Second of all the door wasn't locked so I'm not a complete pervert. And third of all, I think this is a sign that I need my own place."
"There's no rush, Chuck," Ellie assured. "It's great having you here."
"I like being here, with you guys, but… you know, you're getting married. You don't need your brother hanging around. I've got a new job I'll be starting soon," Chuck shrugged holding the spoon in front of his mouth saying, "I think I should at least start looking."
"Why don't you ask Sarah to move in with you?" Devon suggested with a grin. "I can't speak highly enough of cohabitation. Even this morning wasn't all bad," he said with a laugh. "Otherwise it's awesome waking up every day with the woman you love in your arms, knowing you get to come home to her and be there for her too."
Ellie beamed reaching over to squeeze Devon's arm. "It might be a bit fast for them, honey."
Devon furrowed his brow. "I guess it's not even a year, but it'd be a good test to see where you guys are. I get you're going slow with the whole sex thing, but maybe that's the key. A healthy sex life is the key to any good relationship, bro, almost as much as communication. Once you're around each other, it won't be long until you're the ones steaming up the shower, so to speak."
Chuck choked on the mouthful of cereal as he realized his relationship with Sarah had neither of those things. They'd yet to have sex and weren't the best when it came to communicating, especially if it was about her past or emotions.
"M-Maybe," chuck said swallowing the cereal.
It could give them a chance to be together, but it did seem fast, even for their cover relationship, which would make it difficult to get the bosses to agree to it. Maybe they could try to bring it up as a way to introduce twenty four hour protection. Since they didn't have the bugs in his house anymore Sarah as his roommate would mean he'd always be near an agent. They didn't need to know how close he'd really be to her.
He knew better though. As much as he'd enjoy it, surely it would be too quick for Sarah. She was a spy. He'd be asking her to give up her own space for part of whatever apartment they got, and all for what? The chance for him to flail around on her? Sure, they could make meals together, he could give her massages after missions, surprise her with a bubble bath and all those little things he wanted to do for her, but would it really be enough for her? Would he?
"So," Ellie said leaning forward after Devon went put his dish in the sink before heading to their room, "I was sure Sarah was staying the night after that kiss."
Chuck shook his head. "We can't suddenly start staying with each other or people will notice."
"So you have to have a cover sleepover to have a real sleepover?" Ellie frowned. "Can I do anything to help?"
"Actually," Chuck said with a laugh, "you could get on her case about it in the courtyard or something." Seeing her confusion he explained, "It would give us an excuse with the higher ups to try and secure our cover."
"You want me to help you convince your bosses to let you sleep with your girlfriend? Aren't you the one who wouldn't go to the store with me for a month after I made you buy condoms before a date your sophomore year?"
Chuck shrugged, heading back to his room to grab his things before heading over to Casey's where the NSA agent greeted him with a grin. "No Walker?"
"Uh, no," he said hurrying inside.
Closing the door, Casey followed him inside. "I figured you two would've spent the night mixing your chocolate with her peanut butter."
"As good as that sounds we can't just spend the night with each other, can we?"
"Look at that," Casey marveled, "you're actually thinking with more than your pecker."
"I thought you wouldn't say anything as long as it doesn't get in the way of the job," Chuck said watching Casey return to the coffee mug he'd been working on.
"And give up the chance to torture you?" Casey shook his head. "As long as it doesn't get in the way I don't care what you two do. Just don't mention it to me, keep the non-cover PDA away from me and I'll cover for you."
Taking the seat opposite him, Chuck beamed. "Thank you, Casey. I really can't thank you enough. I know this isn't usual and you're taking a risk for us. A chance that I'm not wrong about what I told Bryce."
Casey grunted. "Well maybe you can help me."
"Sure, whatever you need," he said instantly.
"I'm going to tell Alex."
Chuck's eyes widened. "When?"
"I was thinking tomorrow. Get it done with as soon as possible. I already lost enough time with her. If nothing else I want to try to help her out with college or something."
Chuck pulled his lips in trying not to let his panic show. "That's great... Uh, what can I do? You want to practice on me or something?"
"Maybe pick your brain a bit. It's not the same since I wasn't ever there, but if your parents came back is there anything they could do to make it easier?"
Chuck crossed his arms on the table and tried to go over all the ways he'd imagined his parents coming back. "Honestly?" When Casey nodded he answered, "Not really. If they came back and lavished me with gifts it would just seem like they were hoping to buy me off or something.
"Years ago I might have wanted nothing to do with them in case they left again… but now? I'd make sure they were included in as much of my life as they could be. As much as they wanted while they were around. But… that's not your situation. She never had you around. It's a different kind of thing to having a parent leave, and once you tell her about why you did what you did, she'll understand eventually."
"Then how do I tell her?"
Thinking it over for a moment Chuck's brow rose, suggesting, "Maybe you don't."
Casey grunted. "What?"
Holding up a hand Chuck quickly explained, "I mean you go the other way. You're thinking about telling Alex, but why not tell Kathleen and let her tell Alex you're at least still alive."
"She has her own life," Casey said shaking his head.
"I know but it doesn't have to be about you and her," said Chuck. "You can tell her you found out who Alex was and realized you want to be there for her. Let her have a chance to break the ice for you, but if she's too upset or doesn't want you involved then you just tell Alex herself. She's an adult, so can decide for herself whether she wants you in her life."
Casey was considering it when they heard a knock and he went to open the door. Chuck found himself gulping in anticipation, watching the door open as he waved Sarah inside. "Walker."
"Casey," she said with a nod, stepping past him. Inside the apartment her eyes found Chuck and her stoic face was broken by a smile.
"Morning," he said staying in his chair to keep himself from hugging her and kissing her.
"Morning," she said quietly, leaning against the back of the chair to his right.
"Ugh," Casey exclaimed walking past them. "Kill me now."
"I didn't do or say anything," Chuck said incredulously. "No PDA or anything like you said."
Casey shook his head making his way over to the computer to bring up the exam. Sarah was chuckling, turning from him to Chuck. "How are you? Are you nervous?"
"I've been nervous since last night, but not about the test."
Sarah frowned, sliding into the chair she'd been leaning on. "Why are you nervous?"
"Because I'm me and you're you," he said with a shrug. "I'm worried I'm going to screw it up and either drive or scare you away. I'm worried someone's going to find out and try to force us apart."
"We can do this," she said reaching out to hold his hand on the table.
"Yeah, we can," he said suddenly believing that. Then a grin grew on his lips. "Actually there's something we should talk about. I had a, uh… odd morning."
"Odd?"
"When I went to go brush my teeth this morning it turned out I wasn't the only one in the bathroom." Seeing her confusion he explained, "Ellie and Devon were in the shower."
"Oh god," Sarah said holding back a laugh, though Casey didn't bother to hide his.
"I didn't see Ellie, but, uh, I saw more of Devon than I ever wanted to," Chuck said shaking his head. "Anyway. I… I was thinking maybe with this new job I could get my own place." When the agents looked across the room to each other, Chuck frowned adding, "Devon suggested I ask you to move in with me."
"Me?" Sarah asked turning to him, genuine surprise on her face.
"I just don't want you to be blindsided if they bring it up," Chuck quickly clarified.
"Thank you."
"It's not the worst idea I've ever heard," Casey admitted rising from his chair and making his way over to the table. "With the in house surveillance gone having an agent would help secure the asset."
"I suppose it would be a way to have twenty four hour protection," Sarah said crossing her arms and leaning back.
"Like an IUD," Casey said with a teasing grin.
Rolling her eyes, Sarah turned to Chuck, who was getting to his feet. "I'm not going to ask you to give up your personal space or move that fast, Sarah. I swear I only brought it up so you're not blindsided."
Noticing concern on his face, Sarah got up and followed him to the desk. "Chuck it's fine."
He turned to her, glancing to Casey over her shoulder opening the day's paper. Meeting her gaze he said quietly, "I don't want to pressure you into anything, Sarah. I don't want push you to do more than you want… but I kind of suggested Ellie push you about us not being… physical."
"What?" She asked with a laugh.
"I told her if she could talk to you about it in the courtyard, on camera where people will see it, we'd have an excuse for arranging more sleepovers."
Sarah nodded. "Okay."
"That's why I mentioned the moving in thing," he explained, "I didn't want her to mention it or something without you knowing. She gets that even as soon as it would be for our cover, it's even faster for the real thing, and like I said I'm not pushing you in any way. Not even on the sleepovers. I'll be happy just having the chance to talk all night, or lay around watching movies, maybe even convince you to play a game or two, or just go to sleep with you in my arms."
The smile on her lips grew the more he spoke. He was so conscious of her wariness about it all, but that had diminished more than she'd expected. With a glance over her shoulder, Sarah leaned in and placed a kiss at the end of Chuck's jaw. Then with her lips beside his ear she whispered, "Lisa."
When she pulled back and saw his confusion she said quietly, "Middle name."
His brow rose in shock then his smile grew until it almost threatened to take over his face. "Sorry, Casey," he said keeping his eyes on hers until they closed when he stepped forward and pressed his lips to hers.
She laughed through their kiss hearing Casey groan and raise his paper to hide them from view. After a moment they parted and she brushed a hand through his hair. "Good luck."
"I don't need it," he said confidently, "I have you."
"Go before I upset Casey," she warned, gently pushing him toward the desk chair.
Sarah had just finished her report for the mission the day before when her and Casey's phones buzzed, both agents sharing a knowing look. Chuck was still typing at the desk when both got to their feet.
"Chuck," she said making him look up from the monitor. "Beckman and Graham are calling for an emergency meeting."
"Is everything okay?" Chuck blinked and shook his head. "Dumb question. Should I stop?"
"How much more you have?" asked Casey, going over to turn on the television and camera.
"I can probably finish in ten or twenty minutes but I've got an hour on the timer."
"Keep working until they call," Sarah told him. "If you can't finish then just leave it until the meeting's over."
Chuck did his best to pick up the pace, scanning questions and choosing his answers as quick as he could, letting his gut carry him. It didn't really matter if he failed, he wasn't being given a real job with them. Technically Charles Carmichael was earning the certifications, but it was just to make sure Chuck could occupy the role on the team should they need it. Plus, it would help their cover with other agents. If he failed he'd just have to take them again, and hopefully without all the extra stress of the past few missions and all the stuff surrounding them.
"Done!" He exclaimed seven minutes later, sitting back in the chair.
Sarah beamed at him. "Think you passed?"
"It felt like it." He pushed off the desk getting to his feet. "How long before-"
"Agents," Graham's voice filled the apartment as he and Beckman appeared on screen. Sarah and Casey turned to the television while Chuck walked around the computer desk toward the back of the couch. "Chuck," he added a moment later, Chuck wondering if he imagined the hint of distaste in his voice.
"The transport carrying the Cipher was intercepted two days ago," Beckman said tapping a button which brought up an image on the screen. It showed a large, barrel chested black man punching a guard in the face, and based on the amount of blood spraying around his fist likely crushing his skull. "This is our only clear image of the thief, but the tracker on the Cipher has activated and is showing it's in an abandoned factory in LA. We've sent the information to you. We need this done ASAP."
"You need to retrieve the Cipher before they detect the tracker and we lose it completely," Graham told them. "We've stalled activation enough. Once we have the Cipher we're going to have it flown in and activate the new Intersect."
"Uh, can I ask," Chuck said holding up his hand, "what exactly happens to me when it goes live?"
"Once the computer is online Operation Bartowski officially comes to an end," said Graham. "You'll be done with us. No more briefings. No more missions. No more spies. You can enjoy the rest of your life Chuck."
Once the call ended the three of them stood in silence for a moment, but Chuck broke it asking, "So this is it? All our plans, all we've done… it just ends?"
Chuck looked to Sarah, who turned to him with a frown. "I… I doubt it will be that simple, Chuck. You still have an Intersect in your head. They won't want to risk it falling into the wrong hands."
"So they'll want to throw me in a bunker or kill me," said Chuck.
"They won't."
For a moment Chuck was about to argue, but then he saw in her eyes s he didn't mean they wouldn't want that, but that they wouldn't get it. Even more surprising was that Casey shared her expression. Somewhere along the way Chuck had turned the world's best agents and made them loyal to him. Loyal enough that if without knowing he'd proved his value beyond just the Intersect he wasn't worried.
When it came to it he knew they were on his side.
AN:
I'm not having them move in together just yet, just laying groundwork.