A/N: Thank you Enji86, for giving more feedbacks! For those of you who only read the story once, I suggest you to read the previous chapters once more because I tweaked some parts of them from the feedbacks. Also, this chapter...I was feeling low atm...and its certainly not the best job I did. Plz R&R

Disclaimer: Gosho Aoyama owns DC. I own the story.

Chapter Six

Expectations

Sometimes I wish I could forget about today while I fall sleep. Then, I won't know the next day's oncoming disaster.

-0-

(Ai's POV)

I woke up by a ray of sunlight that shone through the curtains. It was already 10 in the morning, but I was still drowsy. I could do nothing but sit still on my bed for the next few minutes. Then, yesterday's memory flooded through me.

Idiot. I thought to myself. Why did I even cry? I guess Yoshida-san…really meant a lot for me. Her pure mind, always looking through the animosity, has never failed to find friendship and love. Her innocence, kindness…it was like a campfire to me. While sitting next to it, your mind and body will be washed up by the infatuating warmth.

Sighing, I went into the bathroom to take a shower.

It was easier to remember things while I was soaked in hot water. And Edogawa-kun…It seems like he did understand. How Yoshida-san would be feeling at the moment. How she'd be hurt…It reminded me of her. What is he planning to do with her? Would he really want to hurt her more? Why did Edogawa Conan mean so much to him? Also, yesterday…my face warmed a bit, non-related to the hot water, something I've thought of 10 years ago. The special bond between each other that I still cannot figure out. It still exists…

I dried myself with the towel and changed into some warm clothes. I was hungry, so I went out to the kitchen.

…And he was there.

"'ai'ara." He could barely say my name with his stuffed mouth.

"Good morning, Ai-kun!" Greeted Hakase. "I tried making some french toast. Try some!"

"Thanks, hakase." I got myself a bowl of cereal and sat down on a chair across Edogawa-kun. He was apparently scarfing some scrambled eggs on top of a toast with a cup of milk. As he seemed to be unable to talk, I started.

"Why are you here? Don't tell me you still can't cook?"

I had to wait for a few minutes for his answer. "Well, I can. But I'm sick of eating my creations. They're…edible." He chuckled before continuing, "But I mainly eat porridge or ramen with a bit of steak or grilled fish. There's a whole bunch of limitations."

"I guessed as much. But can't you even get a bowl of cereal by yourself? I mean, why even come here for breakfast?"

"You don't like me here?" Hmm. It was a little uncomfortable. He saw my thoughtful expression and smirked.

"Well…The main reason is not to bother you. Actually, I came to see how you were doing."

I knew I shouldn't have cried yesterday.

Regretting the uncontrollable tears, I just said, "I'm fine. I'm not sick or anything. Besides, what's the worst thing that could happen inside of my own home?"

"Hmm. I couldn't really believe you were joking about the suicide thingy before." I glanced at him with the what's-the-matter-with-you expression. His face was serious even after seeing my face.

"So. Am I that much of a doom and gloom?"

"You tried to do it once. I'm not gonna let it happen again."

"Ah." Oh right, I thought. The bus incident…of course. He did have a point there. "But no worries. The Organization is gone now, right? I'm not really having traumas-"

"Yet, it is difficult to believe in someone who can have at least a thousand faces." He finished. He sighed. "I actually spent the night calling hakase to check on you every 2 hours."

I dropped my spoon on the floor. "God! Stop treating me like that!" I turned around to glare at hakase, who suddenly focused on the coffee brewer. I bent myself to pick up my spoon. "Maybe I should've been standing in my room all night holding a knife at my wrist." Sarcasm. "Stop pestering me all over the place like a stalker."

He flinched. "Hey, I didn't go everywhere with you." He defended himself lamely. "Anyway, the word 'stalking' is too strong, don't you think?"

"Actually, I find it to be highly appropriate." I concentrated on my grab on the spoon as I finished the last bit of my breakfast. "Now that you're done with your meal, go to your house." I snapped and put the bowl in the sink. When I turned around, he was right in front of me. I pushed him to the side and tried to go to my room.

I was at my door when he said,

"Hey, Haibara…"

"What." My voice sounded deadly even to me.

"Today is New Year's…"

"So?"

"Well, I though we could, maybe…visit the Mouri's."

I froze. Was he that stupid? I fought with the urge to say that out loud.

"Do I have to?"

"…I guess not."

"Good." And I slammed my door shut, sparks filling my stomach.

I thought I heard him mutter my name quietly before leaving me in silence.

-0-

There was nothing to do.

I had to waste my time with a lot of effort. The exams were over. The antidote was finished. There were no kids around me. There wasn't even present the annoying stalker to bite. And I didn't feel like helping hakase create another invention or a game.

Sigh. Time to get back to the old times. I took out some things that had never been unpacked before from the suitcase. I pulled various things on the floor, and looked for some healthy reading. Unfortunately, the first book I picked up happened to be 'Romeo and Juliet'. As I simply looked at the cover of the book that showed the couple, I smiled bitterly at the idiocy and tragedy of love. Despite the cheesy lines and the stupid behaviors of the characters, Romeo and the ending were meaningful to me. Romeo first had a crush on this girl, then he falls in love right away when he sees Juliet. Even though the two families are against it, they try to patch up their love. And they end up killing themselves, for the dignity of it.

It made so much sense, it was cruel.

So cruel, yet so true.

Impossible love. Dreamt so many times. By so many people. Yet impossible will always be a thick wall that will never break apart to quench their longings.

A third person cannot interrupt. No matter what you do, you cannot deny fate. You cannot reach it. The limitation, it is solely intangible, and if one tries to manipulate it in any way, tragedy will only thrive…

And he already has his.

I opened the final pages of the book. Most of them were wrinkled. I dropped the book back in the suitcase, along with a single tear that escaped from my blank eyes.

I rubbed my eyes and sighed, deciding to read philosophy instead of novels. Emotions were coming at me so easily these days.

However, I read almost nothing and instead kept staring at the white wall of the room.

My mind kept swaying around.

Did I believe in the word, 'impossible?'

Once I told myself, that there was no word 'impossible' in his dictionary either.

-0-

I heard the front door open. I took a look at the clock.

He couldn't be back yet, it's only five and a quarter…

Then, I heard someone talking, and the door closed again.

A thought suddenly flashed through my mind. Thief?

As I put my hand on my door, I heard hakase pouring coffee. Must've been my imagination.

My tensed body relaxed, and I smiled weakly. I guess I'm really paranoid. All the things that were going through my mind was driving me weak and sensitive.

Then I fell back on my bed, unconscious.

.

When I opened my eyes, the clock read seven thrity. I yawned as I got up. I must've been tired, to sleep like that…I heard voices from the living room, so I got out.

Just as I suspected, he was back in here again, watching TV. He was wearing brown coat and a blank white shirt inside, with a red necktie. Judging from his formal clothes, he's been at the Mouri's…Wait. It's dinner time right now. Why is he here? I looked around to see if he actually invited them here. He didn't.

Then, he noticed me. "Ah, Haibara! You woke up sooner than I thought."

I narrowed my eyes. "You entered a lady's room without permission?" And I just made the mess.

"You were sleeping anyways. How can I ask for a permission?"

"Also," I added, "Why are you here? Weren't you supposed to be enjoying the meal with your girlfriend?"

His face hardened a bit, which surprised me a bit. "She's not my girlfriend."

Awkward silence.

Both of us were waiting for each other to speak. And neither of us did.

He parted his lips heavily. "I know, Haibara." He paused for a bit, and continued. "That you can't have everything in your life. That I can't have everything in my life."

What is he saying? Was he drunk? I checked his face. He wasn't.

"What are you trying to say?" It was annoying to have him talk about incomprehensible things.

"Ran…" I tensed slightly at the name. Then, he filled me in with his story.

Ran welcomed him. They went together to shop for the meal. When they came back, they had to wait for Ran's parents to come, because they were enjoying a cruise trip at the moment, and couldn't be back until six. While Ran prepared to cook, they chitchatted about unimportant things, like finals, future, Ran's parents…

Suddenly, Ran stopped cutting the ingredients.

"Conan-kun." She asked carefully.

"Hmm?"

"Did I ever tell you?"

"…About what?" The detective felt something was wrong.

"You are so similar to Shinichi." He was silent, while she continued. "Both Sherlock fans, both great deducing detectives, both have the same blood type, both cannot sing well, both smart, intelligent, caring…loving…You even look the same." She smiled tearfully at the end. He was still silent, his face blank. "But why?...Why won't you tell me you are Shinichi?" Tears fell.

He stood still and answered, "Because…Because I'm not." He looked at her. "I am Edogawa Conan...Ran-nee-chan." She cried even more.

"Ran-nee-chan…" He barely whispered the words. "Perhaps…it's time to forget about him. Maybe he won't be back. You should…go on with your own life."

Then, she really smiled at him, although tears were still running down her face. "I know. I'm sorry…Conan-kun."

Then, he made up an excuse by saying that he forgot that there was a meeting with his friend for dinner…

He ran. He ran until he couldn't think of anything but not to hit anything on his way. He needed comfort. He wanted peace. He needed someone to talk to. He had to find the only one that could understand him. He found hakase's house to be right in front of his eyes. He slammed through the door, and saw hakase. Then, he remembered the argument this morning, and didn't dare talk to her. All he could do was to tell the confused hakase what had happened…

He went out in just a few minutes. He went to his own house, and just laid on the garden, not bothering to walk up to his bed. He was confused by his own decisions. He didn't want to think.

By then, I was completely out of words.

"Why…?" I whispered, while he stared blankly at the TV.

"Why?" I asked more firmly this time. He turned his head slowly at me.

"Don't you know, Kudou-kun?" Even though it hurt, I had to say it. "You are hurting her, even more. She needs you. You're the only one that can heal her wounds."

"I know that." He smiled bleakly.

"So why are you here? Why did you do that? Surely you don't want to harm her."

"All I could think of at the moment was, that Edogawa Conan is much more significant for the others." He whispered.

"No." He looked at my face directly.

"Can't you see? I took you away from her. I was the one who made Edogawa Conan. I made her cry every time she was reminded of Shinichi. It's killing me, Kudou-kun." I felt my eyes sting. I was used to it by now. "Can't you really see? That I am hurting the people around you, that I am destroying your life, and the guilt is killing me. Yet, you won't let me repay the things I've done. Can't you see how much it is hurting, when I damaged you so much and you still attract others to you, like Ayumi, Ran, and my-" I couldn't make out the word, myself. "And what about me?. I want to, have to get out of here for the others, but I didn't. I still feel guilty as hell!"

He stood up really close to me, and suddenly put his right arm on my shoulder.

"Stop it, Haibara." I glanced at his face. His eyes…they were stressed, but they were soft and melting. I tried to concentrate as I stared at his face with my tear-filled eyes. "Stop feeling guilty. It is my responsibility that the others are hurt. Neither is my life destroyed. I am still happy existing as Conan. It was my decision. I am Edogawa Conan. I cannot go back. What would happen if Edogawa Conan actually disappeared?" He put his head down and smirked painfully. Because of the light reflecting from his glasses, I couldn't see his expression clearly.

I smiled at his nobility...and his idiocy.

"I know I've done the right choice, Haibara…But it still hurts all the same." Suddenly, he pulled me into a hug.

"H-Hey!" I felt my face flush. However, I didn't resist.

No more words passed between us, but we knew. That we understood each other at the moment.

-0-

-End of Chapter Six-

A/N: This chapter was really hard to write…The exams are coming up and I had to rely on my creativity for some parts of the chapter. I'm sorry if it is bad. Plz review&feedback, I will appreciate it I promise the next chapter will be better.