CHAPTER 50 – A BRIDGE TOO FAR
The girls spent the better part of the afternoon at the mainland. Gina was introduced to all of the Athosians that were not out of the village hunting and gathering and enjoyed the company of the children, sitting with them for a short period to read them books, something she enjoyed greatly. When she got up to leave, she saw the disappointment on their faces and promised them that she would come back, as soon as she was able, and then she was taken by the hand by one of the younger ones and shyly she asked to be picked up. She reached down to pick up the little girl, all long dark hair and beautiful dark eyes and hugged her. She would definitely get John to bring her over here often. The children were adorable and the adults polite and welcoming and Gina left with Teyla to go back to the jumper, feeling a sense of belonging, that she had not felt since she was ripped sharply from earth and 1962.
"You miss your family Gina... it shows on your face when you look at the children. You miss that sense of belonging."
"I do Teyla. We were not a large family, and my brother had not had children yet so there were no young children in my family, but I did a lot of volunteer work at the hospital in Honolulu, and in particular on the children's ward. It was very rewarding, working with the younger children, helping them through their fears at being in a hospital, often staying there alone without their parents. Children are among the bravest of humans, don't you think?"
"They are Gina. I agree with you. They accept change and other situations far more readily than adults and often without complaint. They are more resilient than adults. Sometimes we are too set in our ways and find it hard to bend..."
Gina smiled. "You're not just talking about your people anymore are you... you're talking about John now."
"I do not wish to interfere in private business Gina, but John is my friend and he has been on his own for a long time now. He has not had a woman in his life, not in a serious manner since I have known him and this will take some time for him to adjust to. He will perhaps, be a little possessive in the beginning and I would ask that you be lenient with him."
Gina was laughing now. "Don't worry Teyla. I'm onto him – he thinks I am naïve just because I come from a different timeline – a simpler time you might say. But I had two men in my life who chose to smother me most of the time. My father and my brother – so I recognise the signs. I am also extremely clever at staying below the radar... if you get my meaning."
"I have already come to the conclusion that you are capable of taking care of yourself, but John is a man and he feels the need to look out for his woman. It is in his nature. Allow him his insecurities and trust will grow."
Impulsively she moved closer to Teyla and linked arms with her, smiling at Teyla's look of surprise. "I think we're going to become good friends Teyla. We are not so unalike, you and I. We share similar values and I'd like to think that one day you'll grow to trust me as you do John."
Gina missed the respect that quickly lit up Teyla's eyes, focusing instead on the jumper that was landing alongside the one they had come in, piloted by one of the medical personnel who needed to bring supplies to the mainland and had offered them a ride.
"Those insecurities you spoke of Teyla? I think we're about to be presented with them now..." Out of the jumper stepped Colonel John Sheppard, accompanied by Major Lorne who hung back just a little, not in total agreement of the Colonel's reasons for being here.
"Teyla. You might have asked me first whether it was suitable to take Gina to the mainland?"
Teyla didn't get time to answer. Gina calmly disengaged her arm from Teyla's and casually strode towards John, with a deceptively controlled smile on her face. Lorne watched from his point just off the Colonel's shoulder and saw the hidden demon that lurked just below the surface and thought perhaps the Colonel may just have met his match.
"Colonel Sheppard. Perhaps if you had something to say about my visit here, it would have been appropriate to address me, rather than Teyla. I am an adult and perfectly capable of answering for myself."
Crap John – got yourself in the dog house already. Ah hell. She's pissed at you, take a look at those eyes. You get in that line of fire, you'll find yourself hung drawn and quartered and not much left at the end of it. Handled that one well, didn't you.
He cut a sharp glance at Teyla, moved past her to take Gina's arm to move her away from the others so that they could have a private discussion. She pulled abuptly away, causing his hand to slide hard down her arm and off her wrist, adding more aggravation to the bruising from earlier and this time she cried out. John felt Lorne step forward and made him stand down with one look.
"Damnit Gina, I don't want to hurt you. Stop, so that I can talk to you."
"Talk John? Or manhandle? Because you seem to be doing a lot of that today." She held out her wrist and he saw the bruising from earlier and raked a hand through his hair, feeling Lorne's glare at his back. Likely he'd be branded all sorts of bastard by the staunch airforce major who would see taking out his anger on a woman, a very low play in his book. Hell, in John's book it took the bottom place, but twice now he had used his strength in the wrong way for the wrong reasons.
"Please. Just talk. I won't touch you, but don't walk away from me."
She allowed him to move up beside her and felt the heat of his body, close yet not touching. She didn't want to fight with him, but he needed to be on the same page as her. No watching her with suspicious eyes, no wrapping her in cotton wool in case she broke into pieces and no keeping her out of the loop. If he wanted them to be a team, a couple – then trust was imperative.
She attempted to explain that to him, saw from his eyes that he wanted that too and leaned into him. "Don't shut me out and treat me like a child. Treat me as an equal and I'll be there for you in every way. Shut me out? You'll see a side of me you wished you hadn't. Got that John?"
He dropped his head onto the top of hers, to keep her from walking away. He was afraid to take her hand again, but she did it for him, looking up only when Teyla called out that Lorne and herself would take one jumper back to Atlantis and leave the other for John and Gina to return in.
"Mummy – where are you going?" Gina turned sharply at the voice, her hand slipping out of John's. She took several steps away from him and saw a little girl, perhaps three or four years old, standing at the edge of a field about twenty meters away from them. She had long long dark hair, thick and shiny and it flickered in the breeze that had sprung up off the ocean.
"John? Do you see her?" John looked at Gina, then at the place that she stared at and thought he saw … something. A shift in the air, a hazy outline... a person? Then it was gone and Gina was running towards the spot where the little girl had stood. John had not moved, trying to process in his mind what he had seen, knowing that it meant something – but not wanting nor able – to commit an explanation as to what his mind had seen. It had looked like a little girl, and it had looked eerily like Gina, a very very young Gina. From this distance he had seem those stunning blue eyes, just like the woman who now stood on that very same spot, staring into nothing with a strange look on her face.
"Where did she go John? She was just here... did you see her? Where can she have gone? She called me Mummy.. who was she – was she lost. John!"
He appeared dazed and she spoke sharply now to get his attention. Her body was in constant movement and he needed to still her so that he could think. Her energy and motion was making his thought processes sluggish and he gripped her shoulders to still her movements, watching as a look of alarm shot into her eyes. He realised his grip was too tight and that his fingers dug cruelly into her flesh and the more she squirmed, the harder he gripped.
"John, let me go – what is wrong with you?" Her hand came up to slap his face hard, wanting to break whatever connection he had with his inner thoughts that caused him to grip her so tightly. His eyes snapped back to hers and he released her,shock in his eyes.
"We need to find her John. Whatever the hell is going on with you, pull yourself out of it. Keep your hands off me until you can get your emotions under control and your strength."
He dropped his hands, apology immediate in eyes and on his lips, her slap having had the desired effect. She didn't wait to see whether or not he followed, she simply turned and disappeared into the field, calling out for the little girl who had all but disappeared into thin air.
It took him several seconds to get himself under control and when he did he was mentally cursing himself and running after her. She had moved quickly through the field and was already into the surrounding wooded area by the time he caught up with her. She was fast, driven by something he didn't fully understand and he heard her calling urgently to the girl she had thought she had seem.
But what did I see, John asked himself. There was definitely a hazy ouline of something – but a person? I didn't see a clear enough shape to resemble anything - not really. I simply saw what she wanted me to see... didn't I? Is it possible her brain connected the dots faster than mine did and imagined the rest?
He rested a hand gently on her back when he caught up with her, standing a little disorientated near a group of trees. "I've lost her John. She must have come this way – I saw her turn and just disappear, this is the logical way she must have gone. We need to find her. If she's lost, she'll be frightened and it will be dark soon. Should we get help?"
Her eyes looked wildly around the area now which was indeed darkening with the coming twilight. John slid his hand up to her neck and rubbed lightly. "Gina – tell me exactly what you saw. I didn't get as good a look as you did. Please, exactly."
He body collapsed a little then but he didn't pull her any closer, mindful of the fact that she had wanted him to keep his distance physically for now.
"She was around three or four years old – she called me Mummy! One of the Athosian children who have become lost perhaps? There was a little girl I met earlier, about her age – but it wasn't her, I would have known her as I picked her up and carried her around for a little while. This little girl was different. John, when I looked at her – I recognised her... and I don't know how."
"Gina, this is what I suggest. We'll go the Athosian village and get them to check that all their children are accounted for. That's the first place to start. Then, if no children are missing, I think you will need to entertain the thought that perhaps you imagined her. I didn't see what you did, and we were looking at the same place. I did see something – a vague outline of something – but given everything you have gone through lately, your mind is suceptible to suggestion and it could have been playing some sort of trick on you."
She pulled away completely from his touch and looked up at him a little distrustfully now. "John, I recognise the tone of voice. Reasonable, calm, talk to the crazy lady without scaring her away. My mind is not supplying pictures it wants to see. Why would I want to see a child? I left no child behind in my previous timeline. There is no rational explanation – from a pyschological viewpoint or otherwise."
He turned away, hoping that she would follow him. "We'll go back to the village Gina, and ask around. We can't stay out here searching for something that we have no proof of."
"Proof John... you seem to require proof of everything."
"And so should you Gina. You're a scientist. Yes, you work with probabilities and theories but in the end, it all comes down to hard facts and proof. In your line of work as well as in my line of work. So don't draw this line between us. We are both trained to deal in facts and I need you to remember that right now."
She hung her head a little as he walked away knowing that he was right and feeling a little like a sulky child that had not gotten her way. Again. But damnit, she had seen that child and refused to believe that it had been put there by her mind. As a scientist she would look for the rational and this involved finding out why she had seen that child – especially if it had not really been there.