Negan's Girl

by Slauba

Melaney's life during the end of the world. From Negan's group to Rick's group; she was learning just what it meant to live and be loved.

13. To be a Savior

Chapter 13

It's our moment in the sun, And it's only just begun, It's time to have a little fun, We're inviting you to come and see why you should be, On easy street-

I sat up in an instant as music blared around us, Daryl put his hands over his ears as the music continued to boom annoyingly, the happy tune screeched in our ears.

"DARYL!?" I tried to yell over the noise but he didn't even hear me as he looked around in the dark for the boom box playing the song.

The noise cut out abruptly, and silence washed over us again, I didn't even realize the both of us were breathing heavily. I looked at him as he rubbed his eyes tiredly.

I looked at the door as noises and laughter began to grow louder coming towards the door. Daryl got up and shielded me but I stood in front of him instead, I heard the jangle of keys before the door was pulled open and bright sunlight hit us in the face. I cringed against Daryl's chest and closed my eyes as two silhouettes appeared and waited for us to adjust to the sudden onslaught of light.

"Hope you got some good sleep, gonna be the last time you close your eyes for awhile." I heard Simon walk into the cell, I stumbled back against Daryl, squinting as he held out some dirty clothes towards Daryl.

Daryl reached out for it around me, but Simon dropped the sweats and jacket to the ground with a smile.

"Oops." He stepped forward and I grabbed the clothes and handed them to Daryl before going back to shielding him from Simon's view, "Oh relax cupcake, I ain't here for the redneck. I'm here for you."

"Daryl-" I tried to step back but Simon grabbed me and dragged me out of the cell, I kicked at the doors as he tossed me outside of the cell where I landed at the feet of a heavy set guy holding a boom box.

"Sit your ass down, naked man. You ain't got no hold here." Simon hissed at Daryl as he tried to come after me.

My last glance at Daryl was him enclosed in darkness, eyes promising to murder Simon as the door was closed and locked once again.

"Turn it up, twenty-four seven man." he nodded to the heavier set guy and then picked me up off the ground effortlessly.

"Daryl!" I yelled out once more before I was drowned out by music once again.

I fought back against Simon for a second before giving up and allowing him to lead me through the jail cell halls and outside into the baking heat.

"Before I take you to Negan," Simon let go of my arm and allowed me to walk myself, "he ordered I give you a proper tour of the facility, we've upgraded a few things since you've left."

"That facelift count?" I smirked, he rolled his eyes and rubbed his black eye as we walked around the corner to the back lot where I was immediately met with a dozen security guards with rifles.

I followed Simon as he led me to the back lot fence and he stopped in front of it and turned to me expectantly. I raised an eyebrow.

"Recognize it? We've put those who ended up being no use to us, out here." he tapped the gate and I noticed several dozen walkers ambling about, "We updated security to these fucks, no one gets out or comes in without them making a racket."

Simon grinned as one walker zeroed in on him and began growling as he stumbled to the fence. I walked closer to the fence, looking at all of the ripped, torn and damaged faces. I could recognize a few faces I had seen in passing but never gave much thought of. Simon fired a shot into the Walker's knee and made it collapse before he got any closer.

"Come on."

He led me away and I looked back as I saw a walker on the ground in a black dress struggling against its broken legs and arms to get up.

I followed Simon down another hall, silent as I felt my very soul begin to get shaken to the core. Simon began whistling the Savior song and I noticed how dirty I really was as we entered a building from the back.

Jesus was right, Negan was more violent now, more reckless and more confident...something that never mixed well. The idea of a walker security fence would have never existed when I was here, he would have told us it would be a threat to their very lives if something happened and they got out.

"In here." Simon opened up the flap to the back f the greenhouse tent and I immediately began to sweat.

More saviors were milling about tending to the vegetables and plants, they did double takes at me before looking back at their jobs and watching me out of the corner of their eye as I followed Simon to where a woman in a black dress was speaking to another guard.

"Sherry."

the girl turned around and I did a double take myself. Dwight's wife, well ex-wife now. I was right, she had become a wife yet again, this time to the wrong man. She stared at me, eyes wide as we looked each other over. Memories of me helping her and Dwight and their diabetic friend hit me and I felt my legs try to give out. I steadied myself on a nearby table and she looked to Simon as the other armed Savior walked away.

"Negan up yet?" Simon poked a growing tomato in the soil next to him, she nodded.

"He is. He's in-"

"Don't care, tell him his girl is up and gettin' the grand tour." He waved her off and she looked at me again before backing out of the tent and disappearing again, "So, what do you think?"

"I think you'll all be well off for a couple months, shouldn't even bother with Hiltop anymore."

"And your shit hole." He chimed in , I glared at him, "Oh we found it a while back actually, but Negan didn't think that place was alive. But now, half your shit is ours."

"I know, I was there dumbass." I rolled my eyes and Simon grimaced before shoving me out of the hot tent and into the cooler air.

We passed by a few cows and a horse as well as a chicken coop several people were cleaning out before coming out of another flap and into the Savior courtyard.

There were a couple dozen people milling around, guards on their off shifts and people enjoying being outside in the sun. As soon as I stepped out into the lot all eyes were on me, the whispers started and the looks that were thrown my way...if it weren't for Simon next to me, I would have been killed. When we started walking towards Sanctuary doors, silence followed after our footsteps and people turned away.

"Home sweet home." Simon opened the doors and locked them behind us.

Nobody was in Sanctuary, it was dead inside. There were small booths set up in the back, everything was cluttered about and the windows were stained dark so no light could get in. Simon forced me into an empty bench telling me to sit and stay before he walked behind a set of booths and through another door that I knew led to the kitchen. I looked around me, Sanctuary was so dark now, just looming everywhere and so...dirty.

I got up anyways, shedding my jacket on the seat before making my way slowl to where the booths were set up. Trinkets, metal gears, scraps of clothing, gun parts and other useless things were spread out all along the tables like a flea market.

I grabbed a small hunting knife off of one of the tables, letting my finger cut against the rust for a moment before slipping it into my back pocket and reached out to pick up some bullet casings...but my hands were stained red. I looked down at myself again, stepping away from the booth.

I couldn't tell what was mud and what was blood, I was so dirty. I walked over to a pot of lukewarm water and shoved my hands in it, scrubbing the dirt and mud off until my skin turned red. The amount of dirt on me turned the water a murky brown and I saw flakes of blood rise up and float on the surface of the water. I wiped my hands on my shirt and looked around for soap, for anything to take the stain off of my hands when I heard heavy boots fall across the catwalk.

"Melaney."

I came out from the booths and watched Negan walk across the catwalk, staring down at me with dark eyes as a clean Lucille rested on his shoulder. Simon followed behind him obediently, my gun now strapped across his back. Negan walked with a confidence I had never seen in him before, his jacket was open and his scarf was gone and he was looking at me like I was the biggest present on Christmas.

I mirrored him as he came down the steps, walking forward until both of us were standing several feet apart from each other, he continued to look over me and I tried to remain calm as he stood there as lazy as ever. He handed Lucille to Simon who put it on the table before exiting and going outside, leaving us alone.

"I'm happy to see you're alive, Babygirl. I've missed you." He smiled finally, the smile I had grown used to when we were alone in bed.

"I'm not your babygirl."

"Yes you are, but I won't argue with you right now. You've had a rough couple of days...and a night, of killin' my men and then seeing your people die...not to mention that dirty redneck sittin' in my cell."

He stepped forward and I stepped back, he raised an eyebrow and we did it again. He sighed after I continued to back up several steps.

"You're gonna run out of floor, Laney."

"My name is Melaney."

"You can't hide your past." Negan stalked forward and I put my hand on the rusty knife in my back pocket and continued to back up throughout the empty warehouse floors, "And you sure as hell can't hide who you used to be here."

I stumbled backwards as he continued to come closer, I could see every detail on his face. I could smell him and I could remember how he made me fell back then...back when I loved him.

"Laney, Babygirl...don't back out on me now. I know you're in there."

"Back the fuck up." I flipped open the knife and stepped towards him, he backed up and put his hands up in defense, "What makes you think I ever wanted to see you again?! You beat me bloody with that fucking pathetic bat and you killed my friends with it! You've got blood dripping down your hands, Negan. You've always had blood on you but this time. Right now I'll make sure it's gonna be yours."

I attacked him, swiping as close to his face as I could get. I knew I'd be overpowered by him, Negan knew every inch of me. He taught me how to fight when I first came here, every swipe and jab I threw at him, he had already mastered.

Negan sidestepped me as I threw an elbow to his gut, he smashed my hand on his knee and the knife bounced and broke away from us. He grabbed me by the throat and threw me down onto the ground where he pressed a knee into my ribcage. I clawed at his arms but he just closed his hand tighter around my throat, not enough to kill me, just enough to make me gasp for air.

Simon and a few other guards came in when I started yelling at him hoarsely as he continued to slowly suffocate me. He waved them off as they aimed at me, never taking his eyes off me. He used his free hand to brush the hair out of my face as my eyes started to roll into the back of my head and my arms grew weaker.

"Stay down, Babygirl." He whispered and released me.

I gasped for breath, inhaling like a madwoman as I turned onto my stomach. Simon came and put his foot on my outstretched hand as Negan turned to the few men and women standing around.

"This is the exact type of shit that I will not tolerate from you and your people." Negan looked to me and then waved his men out of the building, "Your people stained my bat too, you see Melaney, we're in a new world now. None of this shit is going to fly."

Negan grabbed Lucille and walked towards me again, he swung the bat over my head as I tried to sit up. I stared down at the floor and breathed through my nose, muscles straining as Negan leaned on the bat.

"Your man Rick is too weak to do shit to us so I suggest you knock that shit off." Negan sighed, "Get up, you're getting dirty."

I remained on the floor for a moment before getting to my knees and rubbing my throat.

"Come on, I won't ask you again."

I got up, watching him walk away from me and sit down at one of the empty tables, waiting for me. I followed him and sat opposite of him, watching him closely.

"You're wrong, Negan."

Negan raised an eyebrow and sat back.

"Rick's gonna kill you, they're going to rise up again and you're going to be slaughtered like the pig you are."

Negan rolled his eyes and sighed before we were interrupted by a Savior woman walking out with a bowl of food and setting it down between us. He worldlessly filled a plate for the both of us and pushed one over to me. I didn't touch it as the woman disappeared again.

He was the same as he was when I met him, patient and nice to me when he shouldn't be. He looked naked without his scarf wrapped around his neck, almost vulnerable and too open for me to see. He was busy staring at me as well, looking over the scars on my face left by him. They were barely there, but under low light they stood out like monsters across my skin.

"There's no need to be so hostile towards me, I went through hell trying to find you..."

"I know. I saw you out there, looking for me." I nodded and picked up the spoon, stirring the food in front of me for a second, "You gave me no choice after what you did to me and my family."

"Melaney...Laney, your parents' death was a necessity, I had to do it." he looked distraught, "But I do admit i went a bit crazy trying to put you back in your place, harming you...I didn't want you to leave me."

"Just like it was a necessity to kill Glenn."

"Glenn?"

"The last death."

"The Chinese kid with the girlfriend, right. Well no, that was brought on by your redneck boyfriend." Negan rubbed his beard for a second and looked at Lucille next to him.

"But killing Leo...was that a necessity? You sent him into a trap that day, even I nearly died."

"Exactly. You nearly died, and Leo was right next to you...but Leo was a long, long time ago Babygirl." He shook his head and I stared at my hands on top the table, feeling my throat close up, "I can't have you going anywhere for a while, not to Rick and not to Daryl. You're staying here at Sanctuary where you belong."

"I'm not a Wife, you can't keep me here."

"I think you'll do anything you have to do to keep your boyfriend and your other group safe and sound, tucked into Alexandria." Negan grinned and leaned forward, "You forget I know you inside and out. I bet you already have a plan to get back on my good side to escape again, huh?"

My body ran cold, he was right I already had a plan; to fake being a Savior again and destroy from the inside.

"Rules have changed Laney, and I know loyalty to me when I see it. And you...you're going to break eventually, but it's going to be a very long time before that happens here."

He whistled and Dwight poked his head in through the doors, Negan waved him over and watched me with a sly grin and got up, clapping Dwight on the back and grabbing Lucille.

"You know how he got those scars?" Negan tapped Dwight's face, "Tried to run away with a shit ton of medicine. Found him with his wife and a motorcycle. How'd it make you feel, D? Gettin' those scars"

"Hurt." Dwight answered through clenched teeth as Negan laughed at him mockingly.

"Damn right it hurt! Burnt it with an old iron, the smell was in here for days! So Laney, don't make me make an example out of Daryl, don't you lie to me."

Negan locked eyes with me before handing Dwight a key and swinging Lucille menacingly over his shoulder.

"Take her up, make sure she fuckin' showers and changes too." he bent and kissed my temple before I could pull away, "See you tonight."

I watched Negan strut away before following Dwight up the stairs to where the loft was, there was no point in even trying to run out of this building anymore.

"I see he's made a bitchy example out of you." I commented, looking below me as we started across the catwalk, "Never thought I'd see the day you kissed his ass."

"He's the only way of surviving these days. He's our-"

"I swear to god if you say Savior I'm going to scream. None of you are actually saviors Dwight, especially not him." I stopped walking as he turned to me, expressionless, "We used to be close friends, you used to hate him as much as I did...what happened?"

"...you guys aren't the good guys, Melaney. You're the bad guys, we make sure everyone's happy."

"That just sounds rehearsed." I rolled my eyes and he stepped forward with the rifle raised but I batted it away and put my hands up, "I'm not running or fighting right now. But if it wasn't for me or Dayl you would be dead along with Shelly and your diabetic friend too. Daryl told me he found a guy with a wife and a sick diabetic girl when he went out and he tried to help you and instead you stole his bike and his weapon and you killed our friend. Does that sound like something a good person would do? Does a good man lock people up and beat them with a bat?"

"She died."

"What?"

"Tina died and Sherry's been made a wife because of it. Instead of earning points like me."

"I know she died, Daryl told me...Dwight, you're smarter than this-"

"Shut the fuck up." Dwight raised the gun at me again and directed me towards the loft, "Just get the fuck in the room."

"You're going to have to face it one day." I muttered as he opened the loft door and shoved me inside.

My foot caught the doorstep and I fell to my knees as Dwight slammed and locked the door.

I got up, rubbing the carpet burn on my palms and walked down the hallway to the living room. The loft was still lavish although a lot of the chairs were gone...probably had to give things out to account for more Saviors coming in. I walked to the bar, tapping on the empty whiskey and malt liquor jars splayed everywhere. It was the same as always, just a few things moved and rearranged but it felt...darker, almost.

"Melaney?"

I turned around and felt butterflies begin to fly in my stomach.

I ran towards the blonde woman and embraced her in a tight hug, letting myself cry as she grabbed me back and started crying as well. Amber's natural blonde hair bounced around us as we muttered stupid things into each other's shoulders and squeezed the other as tight as we possibly could. I closed my eyes and breathed her in for a second as I smiled, the one good thing about this place had always been her.

We let go of each other but kept a grip on our intertwined hands as we wiped tears away and smiled.

"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't happy to see you."

"Me too, bad circumstances though." I laughed and she smiled again through tears, we looked up as three other women came walking in from the spare room, "there's less Wives now?"

"Around ten, the others are somewhere else." Amber nodded and motioned for the women to come forward while still holding my hand.

The women were watching closely, confused. They were all older than Amber and I by a few years and looked like they'd rather be dead than be dressed in a tight black dress and heels.

"How long have you been a wife this time?" I turned to Amber as they all sat down, Amber sighed.

"Since you left, he doesn't allow us any breaks anymore. I used to be able to see Mark all the time, now I cant even be in the same room as him anymore. Free, but not really free."

"Who are you?" the woman who looked around thirty spoke up, glaring at me and squaring up.

"This is Veronica, our newest addition. The redhead is Emily, she had barely became a wife after you left and that's Katie, you should remember her...oh, and Sherry is a wife now too."

"I know about Sherry, I saw her earlier. I remember you two for sure and I'm sorry you're here, it's nice to meet you Veronica."

"And you are?" Veronica flipped her hair I looked to Amber for help.

"She's currently Negan's favorite." she whispered and I nodded as I sat at the bar next to Amber facing the others.

"I'm Melaney...I used to reside here, obviously."

"You're the one everyone's calling a traitor." Veronica folded her arms and I swore in my head the next attitude she gives me I was going to punch her.

"Yeah, I am a traitor." I folded my arms back, "and I don't know what the fuck kind of problem you have with me but let me assure you your spot as Negan's bitch is just a spot."

She looked taken back by that but quickly regained her attitude with an eyeroll.

"I know about Sherry, I saw her earlier. I remember you two for sure and I'm sorry you're here, it's nice to meet you Veronica."

"Sorry we're here?" Veronica looked at the other girls, "You mean sorry for betraying us?"

"What?"

"You're the one that made him go crazy, you're the one that made him kill everyone here because you decided to go and join a bunch of murderers!"

"Veronica!" Amber stepped forward to shut her up but the other woman just flicked her hands away.

"You aren't special Veronica. None of you are in his eyes." I paused as the girls looked at me, "The minute you think you're above everyone here, the moment that you believe he truly loves you he'll flip. he'll lock you in a cell and he'll come down and he'll beat you within an inch of your life all the while saying he's sorry. He'll kill anyone you love, anyone he thinks might have a leverage over you. He'll kill Mark if Amber even goes near him, he knows they love each other so he'll use that against them to keep them here. He took my best friend and my parents away, and now he has my boyfriend locked up in a cell listening to the same song over and over again trying to break him."

"What happened after you left?" the redhead, Emily, asked.

"I found another group who resided in Alexandria. I've been with them ever since, they let me into their homes and their family...but then they ran aground with Hilltop and Jesus which led us to fighting the Saviors."

"You wiped out the whole armory." Amber interjected.

"We did. Got rid of Primo, Paula, and Molls as well so there's some relief for you. Daryl blew up Steven's group a while back but Negan replaced him with Simon, I see."

"Even more of a brute than Steven was." Amber nodded her head and Veronica seemed to relax the tiniest bit as she listened to me.

"...Negan killed your parents?" she folded her arms, hugging herself and I nodded.

"My mom and dad were going to Alexandria when the Saviors grabbed them, they were going to leave after a couple of days and wanted me to come with them...Negan wanted me to stay, so he took them in a field and made me watch them die."

"And your friend?"

"He was bitten...Negan didn't try to warn him, just let it happen and it almost killed me in the process as well. Negan is a monster, just because he lets you stay here and warm his bed doesn't mean he won't turn on you at the very last second."

"When are you going to leave again?" Amber asked, I sighed.

"I'm not going to, if I try to run with Daryl, Negan will know where to look. I'm going go be a Savior again, get back o his good side and then try and take him out myself."

"It's risky, he doesn't trust you. Last night he was going on about you, we thought he was just missing you and angry, we didn't know you were actually here...but he was going on about how he'll never trust anything you say to him." Emily spoke up and the girls nodded, looking away from each other.

"I know...which is why I'm going to have to become a Savior again, I'm going to have to brainwash myself somehow." I laughed and Amber smiled at that, "I'm going to have to though, to follow every order he gives me to make him believe that I'm backing him one hundred percent."

"You're going to have to prove you're not Wife material again though, and rise past Dwight and Simon." Amber laughed and I nodded.

"Yeah, not really looking forward to the dress and heels." I looked down at my dirty clothes and sighed.

There was a loud knock, making everyone jump before we heard the door open. I smelt him before he even entered the room, Negan smiled charmingly at all of us as he leaned against the loft wall, just admiring all of us. He gestured between Amber and me.

"Good to see you two still know each other, I love a happy reunion." he shed his leather jacket and walked to the bar I was leaning against, I stayed put and barely moved to pay attention to him as he poured each of us drinks, "So ladies, what's the scoop? Fill me in."

"No." I scoffed and faced him, Negan sighed patiently before downing his whiskey and nodding to the door.

"Ladies, give me a minute with Laney, here."

"But Negan-" Veronica seemed put off as amber led the girls away, Negan gave her a look and she frowned before exiting out the door with the others. He waited for the sound of the door clicking closed before Negan groaned.

"Should have never made her a wife, always ridin' my ass every single day, Negan this, Negan that. Fuckin' bitch makes me want a divorce, throw her back out to the rats."

"And here I thought you were accepting of everyone." I moved to sit on the couch and Negan shook his head with a smile.

"You know, I never really said how happy I was to see you again Babygirl, seeing you here in the loft makes it seem like everything's come full circle."

"Excpet your still using extortion for your own gain." I watched him shrug and pour another glass of whiskey, "And killing my people."

"We used to be your people...I used to be your people." Negan downed the glass and slammed it on the counter before motioning to the bedorrom, "There's clothes for you in there, take a shower and change."

" ..No."

"Laney...Melaney, I'm trying to treat you with respect. I'm trying to welcome you in again."

I wanted to scream and hit him in the face.

"But you've attacked me twice since I've brought you here. Gave Simon a shiner and Dwight a bruised ego. Now I know we've got your dirty redneck boyfriend locked up in a cell right now but what I need to know is if that's going to be a problem in the future."

"You ask a lot of stupid questions, of course it's a problem." I responded and Negan nodded.

"And I thought that would be your response...But...you're not leaving Sanctuary unless you're in a body bag Melaney. This is far beyond leavin' me high and dry all those months ago...this is about killin' my men, people you used to fuckin' call family."

"They tried to kill my men and women as well. People I called family. You bashed my head in when I left that night."

"…I apologize deeply for what I did to you that night, but it had to be done…now please Laney, go shower and change." Negan walked out from behind the bar and went into his office, leaving me alone.

I shook my head and walked back to the bedroom, closing the door behind me. The bedroom looked the same except for the black dress on the bed accompanied by a pair of heels. It felt like an old chore, turning the water on in the shower and slipping out of my clothes. The water burnt the dirt and dried blood off me; it turned the ground a murky brown as it slid down the drain, my matted hair turned to silk as the shampoo ran through my fingers.

I turned the water off and hesitated as I reached for the towel, I felt like I didn't deserve this. Rick and Maggie were broken and dirty and probably still bloodied from Glenn and Abraham. The dress on the bed seemed like a black hole as I stood over it with my hair dripping onto the carpet.

I had to do this, I had to save Alexandria.

I walked out of the room to find Negan back behind the bar engrossed in a booklet. The minute the hells clicked onto the stone his eyes shot up to me and for a moment I felt embarrassed, I felt shy. His eyes roamed over me and I saw the way the book fell from his fingers ad hit the bar. The sound jolted him from looking over me, he ripped hie eyes back up to mine and cleared his throat before smiling sweetly.

"I always knew that would look sexy as fuck on you."

I moved to the side as he came around, I paused as my foot connecting with the barbed wire of Lucille which was resting against the couch now. I stared down at it and Negan froze, I felt the adrenaline rush through me and before I knew it my hand wrapped around the handle. There were times back when I was here that Negan would let me hold Lucille but holding it now, knowing that a couple days ago this very bat took my friends' life…I felt powerful.

"Put her down, please Laney. Let's save the fighting for tomorrow."

Lucille seemed to rise on its own in my hand, barbed wire facing Negan as he put his hands up in defense slowly. It scraped against his palms but he didn't even flinch.

"I could-"

"But you wont. Put. Her. Down." He ordered and suddenly I was back in the forest kneeling in the mud watching him bash Abraham's head in.

Lucille slipped from my fingers and Negan took it away gently before sighing in disappointment.

"Thank you." Negan shouldered Lucille and then held out a hand to me, "Come on. It's time you saw the Saviors again."

This was it, my chance. Negan waited patiently as my hand twitched by my side. Daryl was still locked up in his cell listening to that music, naked and freezing. Alexandria was in mourning and there were walkers on the gate not even a hundred feet away, put there by the man in front of me.

"Yeah, okay Negan."

ONE WEEK LATER

The sun beat down on the asphalt as I walked across the courtyard and to the jail cells, heels clicking away on the ground as two armed men followed me lazily several feet away. I could feel eyes on me as I made my way into the building where the music was still blaring, I could feel the way they roamed over my body before I slammed the door shut behind me on purpose before the guards could slip through.

I took out the sandwich from my bag and grabbed the keys from the guard and made ym way to Daryl's cell. Negan didn't really allow this, trying to break Daryl was becoming a problem for him and he was getting frustrated as the hours dragged on. I glared at the guards as they finally sauntered in before opening the cell door.

Daryl looked up at me as light broke in, ragged sweats and jacket hanging off of him before he sat up straighter on the wall.

"Melaney."

"Hey. Snuck some food in for you." I smiled and sat in front of him as he took the samdich, "How're the dog food ones?"

"Not that bad." He replied before digging into the mayonnaise and meat and cheese with hunger.

"I'll try to get some squirrel for you next time." I laughed and kicked off my heels before sitting back on my hands and watching him eat silently. I frowned as a bruise appeared to be healing in the light of the door, "I heard what they did to you, after you tried to break out."

"Yeah well I had to try something."

"Negan says you'll make a good soldier if you'd break. Most people cracked by the third day of this song and dog food to eat. It's been like a week and a half I think, you're doing great."

"How often did you do this to people?" Daryl finished and licked the remains off his fingers as he looked at me through sweaty bangs.

"Often enough. The ones who flinch whenever we come around are the ones who tied to survive longer but eventually they cracked." I sighed and looked over my shoulder as the men walked past slowly, guarding finally, "Daryl, I can't protect you. I've got people watching me all the time now, I can't get out of Negan's line of view when he's here on grounds or he'll do shit to you."

"That pod of bikes-"

"Don't try it yet. Just…chill out with the prison break alright?" I whispered, "Let me get closer to Negan and everyone here and then I'll break you out myself and take the fall."

Daryl was silent before shrugging and clenching his jaw.

"So that's it? You're just going to let Negan take you back? Wearing a dress and fuck ass heels."

"I'm not letting him do anything to me. I haven't even seen him in two days. Simon just locks me up in the room and sends the Wives to another room." I got up and dsusted myself off before a picture on the wall caught my eye, "Glenn…"

"Dwight put it up there the other night…it was my fault-"

"No. No Daryl, no. IT wasn't any of our faults Daryl." I dropped back to my knees and held his hands as Daryl began to shake softly in pain, "Shh, Daryl, Glenn's death wasn't your fault. It was Negan's."

"Someone's coming." Daryl wiped his face and we stood up as Dwight came around the corner smirking and twirling a knife.

"Negan wants you. Greenhouse." He stepped back and I squeezed Daryl's hand before grabbing my heels.

"Don't do anything." I whispered as I walked to the door, Daryl didn't move, just glared at the me through his hair as the door was closed on him.

"So, want to tell me what you're doing here?"

"Fuck off, Dwight."

"Don't you talk to me like that." He spat and I continued to walk fast across the courtyard, heels burning in my hand as I tried to resist sticking them in his eyes, "Slow the fuck down, Melaney."

I ignored him as we got into the building and took Simon's shortcut to the greenhouse, I could hear them pick up their speed behind me and I couldn't help but smile to myself a little at that. We came into the greenhouse a little bit later, my feet were covered in dirt and burning from the hot ground but the blisters the heels had given me were enough incentive to not put them back on.

He was impossible to miss on the other side of the greenhouse talking to one of the older people inspecting some tomatoes. Dark, tall and holding onto that bat like it was his lifeline and smiling politely as they all talked. Simon was lounging next to him against the table looking bored as hell but he lit up as he spotted Dwight leading me to them. Negan turned to face us as we came closer and his smile got even bigger.

"Laney, Dwight found you in record timing. You're free to go, men." Negan ordered and the guards along with Dwight seemed to disappear, "How are you today? Simon said you skipped breakfast today."

"Didn't necessarily have much of an appetite today." I answered and he frowned, reaching out to run a hand over my cheek softly.

"Laney, baby you need to eat. I can't have you fainting again like you did Thursday because you don't eat or drink."

He put Lucille down and accidentally squished a tomato that had rolled onto the floor and my mind pictured Abraham and Glenn there instead, bleeding all over the floor. Negan made a face and shook the guts off his bat before noticing the shoes in my hand and my dirty feet.

"I'm…sorry about all the security around you, Laney. I am, I know it's pretty annoying so that's why Simon's going to be watching over you from now on. I can't trust you, even though you haven't tried anything in the days you've been here but that doesn't mean you won't." Negan began walking towards the livestock area and I followed with Simon a little behind us.

Negan stopped to pet the one horse we had here, the animal snorted on his hand before throeing its head up in the air and closing its eyes.

"I haven't been able to think straight since you've been here, it's torture not having you by my side anymore." Negan whispered as the horse began to fall asleep standing up, he looked to me and it was like all other noises cancelled out around us, "I want you back out there with me, by my side. I can't stand to see you hate me so much. Let me trust you Babygirl, you know I love you and you know I make some damn good mistakes."

"Then let me go." I scratched the horses forehead and Negan leand forward to me, getting in my space.

I had to do this, I just had to no matter how much he disgusted me right now. I leaned forward, mimicking him…and something in me warmed up. It was the same Negan, just a little bit rougher around the edges.

"Let Daryl and I go. Every wife is free to leave so let me leave and get him back to Alexandria and I'll come back."

"You're not like the others," he whispered as the horse stepped away from us, "You've never been like the other women here, you were mine from the start. They belonged to someone else that they wanted to keep safe…and you were still mine. But right fucking now…right fucking now all you want is to keep that dirty redneck fucking safe."

Negan pulled away from me angrily and the moment was gone, I breathed out slowly as Negan ordered Simon to get people ready to move out.

"Melaney, don't fucking go anywhere. I'll be back." Negan waved me off and Simon followed him as they exited the farm housing.

The Saviors kneeled to the ground quickly as he angrily walked past, they glanced to me before getting up and moving about their business again. The horse nudged me with a mouth full of hay and I shook my head, tossing my heels to the ground and sitting on the fence as best as I could in my dress. They were going out on another run, the trucks were being loaded up and people were scurrying about with guns.

I spotted Daryl being led out of the main building, eyes moving around wildly beneath his hair and I got off the fence and walked out, forgetting about staying in one place. He spotted me as Dwight came up to stand next to him and I stopped, bare feet burning in the sand as they shoved him into one of the civilian army trucks.

"He told you to stay by the horse." Simon walked up, tossing a pair of boots to me to put on, he spit on the ground as I continued to watch Daryl's dirty clothes as they loaded more people into the truck, "Melaney."

"You're going to Alexandria."

"We are. Put the shoes on." He replied and I glared before he sighed and cocked his gun, pointing it at my feet, "Do it or I'll blow the fuckers off."

"Simon!"

Simon jumped as Negan came out of nowhere in a truck. Simon holstered his weapon quickly as I put on the boots, Negan barked orders at other Saviors before coming up to us.

"Point your gun at her again and I'll blow you up myself. Laney…I was just informed you've been sneaking off to Daryl."

"I have."

"…You're coming along to Alexandria then, you're not going to leave my fucking sight with that redneck out now." He seemed frustrated as Simon went to another car and left me with the giant man.

I could see Lucille resting in the passenger seat of the truck as Negan looked at everyone next to me, watching them rev their engines. Negan was dark and angry, rubbing his bearded face in concentration as the gears in his head worked over every angle this could go. I adjusted my dress as one of the Saviors stared at me through dark sunglasses.

"Get in." Negan finally led me to the truck and handed me Lucille to rest in my lap, "Don't try anything."

For once, I didn't want to. Daryl was surrounded by men with guns, one wrong move on my end and he would be dead. The gate to Sanctuary opened and we were off, clouds of dust flying around the tires as we sped past dead and alive Walkers before peeling onto the gravel road. Negan was silent, one hand on the wheel and the other running a gloved hand over his face again with his eyebrows furrowed in deep concentration. It was silent between us, everything was awkward and I felt out of place.

"I'm trying to get your trust back, after all the shit that's gone down." Negan finally spoke, looking at me softly, "I don't blame you for killing my men, but I do blame you for giving them the goddamn map to the armory to kill them.. I just want you back in my arms like how we used to be Babygirl. That's all I want from you. I want to be able to trust you, have free reign of Sanctuary again, I don't want fucking Simon following you around all the time."

"I don't trust you."

"I know you don't Baby, and I'm sorry for that. And I know you can't let go of what happened between us, but I was trying to-"

"You were forcing me to stay in a place where everyone I had ever loved died. Owning us, making me wear a dress to prove a point…it doesn't bring you anything but dishonesty."

"You know about dishonesty pretty well." He jabbed back, making me silent.

I wanted to talk about Dwight but I kept my mouth shut, looking out the window at the forest and dead things scattered about instead. Negan was still Negan, on the outside he was just more violent than I had remembered him to be. He used to be fair, used to treat everyone equally and he used to be a lot more reasonable. Could it have really been me that had caused his downfall into the bloodthirsty man next to me?

"It was good between us though, what we had." He smiled at that as we turned the corner, thirty minutes from Alexandria now, "I remember you wearing that skirt…"

"I remember you bashing my parent's bodies into the ground. I remember Leo's dead body in the basement floor, blood everywhere." I replied, gripping Lucille in my hand, "I remember a lot of things Negan."

"I never want to hurt you again, Babygirl. That's never been my intention and I wish you could see it from my perspective,"

"You're asking me to see the justification in what you did to me. There is none, there's no loophole to peak through Negan. You beat me half to death and I barely escaped here with my life." I turned to him and found him staring at me intently, not even bothering to look at the road.

"You overthink too much."

"I protect myself from men like you." I stared right back and he sighed and put up a hand in defeat.

"We can talk about this later then. I just want you to know how things are going to be from now on. You don't belong to these people, you don't belong anywhere near them. You were a Savior and you'll be one again…half their shit is ours now too, that includes you. How you deal with this information is up to you, and that redneck boyfriend of yours will become a problem I can tell. So I'll make you a deal."

"Don't you dare hurt him."

"I won't if you listen to me, fuck Melaney always interrupting." Negan slowed down as we spotted the remaining guard tower around the corner, "You follow everything I say, work your way up and let me have enough shit to trust you with again, Daryl gets to wander back to his little family."

My body went cold and I leaned back in my seat…it was exactly what I wanted from him wasn't it. If I got on his good side then Alexandria would be safe. Negan pulled papers out of his jacket pocket and handed them to me. I stilled as I took them away from him, noticing my handwriting. I had left these in my jacket the day I came here to Sanctuary after he took me away from everyone.

"I never knew what a good writer you were Babygirl, you made me feel all sorts of things reading these," Negan smiled and I felt the acid drip off his tongue, "I like the last one."

He reached over and plucked the last one from my hands, opening it up with a flick of his wrist. He began reciting.

"'Negan'...I like it, to the point. Anyways, 'If you ever find these it means the Saviors are dead and I probably am too. Alexandria is my home, we live peacefully and we fight for what we believe is right. We don't take and we don't steal from other who try to survive and fight just like us. If anything, we bind ourselves closer to each to survive when we run dry. We're raiding the armory tomorrow and I can't explain how fucked up I am having feelings about going back. For one, that was my home and two, those people had been my family'."

Negan pulled up outside the gate and waited for everyone else to catch up. He looked at me and continued reading as I let the papers fall from my hands and onto the floorboards, tears coming down my face as I remembered writing those words.

"Negan, stop."

"Well I mean you did end up killing your family, so I hope you're happy about that. Anyways, let's skip down to the bottom which is my favorite part and always brings a tear to my eye. 'I can't stop thinking about the time when I'm going to see you again, nobody knows what my past is really and I know Daryl suspects the very worst because I've told him a little bit but…I know some part of me is fucked up and is still in love with you despite what you did to me and another part of me wants to see your brains on the end of Lucille before I snap in half and light her on fire'."

Negan turned the car off and tucked the paper into his jacket pocket as the rest of the Saviors rolled up and crowded the street, everyone began pouring out.

"Laney, I told you once before I don't buy that 'tough girl' shit. You and I both know it doesn't suit you, you're too beautiful to do anything to anyone." He ran a finger over my cheek and wiped the tears away, "Babygirl, nothing's going to happen to you when I'm around anymore. Now hop out."

We slid out of the truck and I came face to face with Daryl as he was led to the front, we stopped and Negan came between us, bat jabbing Daryl in the shoulder.

"Don't fuck up anything, or I'll bash her head in." he grinned and pulled me away, arm heavy over my shoulders as we came up to the gates.

Alexandria looked dark, like it was in mourning still. It felt like I had been away from here for years. Negan whistled loud, banging Lucille on the gates, calling the little pigs to let him in. He winked at me as silhouettes appeared behind the gate. Eugene pulled the sheet away and stared dumbly at us before Rick came into view and pulled him away and opened Alexandria up for us.

Rick looked like he hadn't slept for days, his eyes were wide and sunken in, everyone else came out of their houses and watched as we slowly began to filter in.

"I missed you." Negan smiled at Rick and whipped Lucille around.

I stayed back, not wanting to move as Negan smashed a Walker who stumbled in through the side. I wanted to grab Rick and scream how sorry I was. That this was all my fault and that they needed to just fight back already. Negan motioned me forward and Simon shoved me when I refused. Rick watched me stumble to him pathetically.

The Saviors around us scattered at Negan's order to rip the place apart. He hooked an arm over my shoulder as he marveled at how magnificent Alexandria was, Rick held Lucille for him and I could see him shaking, Rick's eyes roamed over me, doing a double take before he settled on my face; he barely recognized me. I was clean, in a fancy dress…I would probably not recognize me.

"Rick…" I whispered as Negan let go of me.

"Melaney, I…" Rick was distracted as Daryl came into view behind us, "Daryl, hey- "

"No. Nope. He's the help, you don't look at him, you don't talk to him and I don't make you chop anything off him." Negan came between all of us, "Same goes for Laney, I said I was taking half your shit and that includes them. This little piece of ass isn't going anywhere anymore, so you can kiss her goodbye from this point on."

Rick looked like he wanted to cry as Negan kissed me roughly on the cheek to prove his point.

"Negan, stop." I pushed him away and he just smiled.

"Alright let's get this show on the road, see what kinds of goodies you got in the cupboard.

"We put aside half the supplies- "Rick began to explain as we began walking to the food house but Negan waved him off.

I watched the Saviors bring mattresses out and rip them up on the street, smiling and laughing. Every resident remaining could only watch with a hopeless look. As we walked up a porch, I spotted Carl shaking his head over at us before taking off down the street. I sat on the outside chair as Negan was given a cold beer.

"You see this? This is the kind of thing that just tickles me balls. A little cooperation and everything is as pleasant as punch." He smiled brightly, "I can see why you were so damn adamant about calling this place home, Baby girl."

Rick looked at me for an explanation but I just shook my head instead as Negan continued to talk to anyone that wanted to listen.

"So, where'd you live Laney? Maybe we can give your bedroom a visit." He winked at me as a Savior came running up to him with a camcorder.

"Negan! Something you might wanna see."

"Well, well, well. What do we have here? I got my fingers crossed for a little freaky deaky."

The camera beeped and began to play in front of him, I watched Rick's face besides me as his voice came over the tiny speaker.

"-I've killed people. I don't even know how many by now."

"Jesus! Is that you, Rick? Underneath all that man bush? Laney get over here." He held the video out to me to watch, "That man recognizable to you?"

It was Rick before I knew him, way before I knew him. His beard had surpassed any one I had ever seen on the road, he looked crazy; restless. This was the Rick I had missed out on, the only Rick I had known was the strong leader who made choices for the good of the group. The man that stood next to me, holding Lucille…he wasn't Rick. He looked every bit the opposite from the dangerous man on the screen in my hands.

He was missing his will to survive, he was broken.

Negan tossed the camcorder back and we followed him to the street, still talking to no one in particular, Rick slowly trudged behind lost in his own head all over again. I wanted to touch him, take Lucille away and shake him until he was focused enough to see what was going on before him.

I looked up as Father Gabriel came up silently, he smiled politely at me as Negan focused in on Rick again as he berated Maggie.

"Ho-oly crap! You are creepy as shit, sneakin' up on me like that with that freaky ass smile." Negan jumped.

I stifled a laugh as Father Gabriel just looked him dead on, no expression on his face.

"My apologies, I'm Father Gabriel."

I turned back to look at the Saviors snapping chairs in half in front of Rick's house, it was smart to say Maggie was dead. Negan and pregnant women didn't mix very well, the last baby had come out involuntarily…by Lucille.

We all jumped as shots rang out through the air suddenly, Negan yelled and forced me to the ground. I hit hard as he shielded me with his arms, shouting to find the shooter. I looked towards where Carl had gone before Rick and I caught each other's eye in fear.

I shoved Negan away from me and took off down the street, he yelled at me before they gave chase but I had already turned the corner by the time they even started jogging.

I came up to the pantry to see Carl with a semi-auto aiming at a Savior's face who was standing over a bottle of broken penicillin.

"Carl! Stop!" I put out a pathetic hand, as if that would stop him from blowing Davey's face off, "Don't fucking do it."

"So, you're on their side now?" he glared at me.

"Carl, if you kill Davey everyone here dies too." I hissed as I heard Negan and Rick run up, "Be smart about this decision."

"Kid!" Negan huffed and laughed as he came up on the sight of all of us, "What do you think happens next?"

"You die." Carl spat and stepped back as the other Saviors drew on him.

"Carl…Carl put it down." Rick inched closer to his son, trying to calm him down weakly.

"No! He's taking all our medicine. They said only half our stuff."

"Carl!" I tried to interject again but Negan waved my objection away, amused by Carl as he threatened him.

Carl lowered his weapon solely as Negan began to mercilessly berate him, the bravery in the teen's eyes began to fade quickly.

"Negan! He gets it. Carl, please lower the gun." I snapped at Negan and stepped in between them, Negan raised an eyebrow.

"Laney…you do not give the order- "

"you can threaten adults all you fucking want, don't you dare lay a hand on him or any of the other kids. You don't get to decide that." I shielded Carl away from Negan.

They were still my family, I had caused Negan's wrath on everyone but I could still protect them. Everyone around us stared, waiting for a reaction from Negan who just stared at me as well for a few very long seconds before shrugging and turning back to Rick. As he talked to Rick again about the weapons I grabbed the gun away from Carl myself.

"Don't try that shit again, I'm serious. You guys need to watch yourselves around them right now."

Carl didn't' say anything for a second as I put the safety on the gun.

"At least u didn't give into him." He gestured to my dress, "At least I'm not giving up on fighting back."

I looked at the Saviors and Daryl as he stood outside watching everything as well. He was staring at me through his bangs, wearing the same expression as Carl.

"I'm not giving up Carl…I'm just trying to figure out a plan."

"Laney! Gun please." Negan broke my focus away from Carl and I handed the gun over to Simon reluctantly, "Good. Obviously, you know Olivia, so tell me Laney…is it worth taking your people's guns?"

Olivia stared at me as Negan held one hand up, waiting for a response.

"…Yes."

"You heard her boys! Take Olivia out and show 'em the goods, girl."

We stepped to the side as Negan perused the food, Olivia stood next to me, physically shaking and trying to not cry. Her clipboard was a mess of boxes and scribbles and drawings…it gave me an idea.

"I need your board." I whispered, pretending to inspect a can of beans, I watched Negan walk into the armory and Olivia handed it over carefully.

"We're running low on food, Melaney. If he takes half…it probably won't even feed us for a week." She kept an eye on Simon as I wrote on the paper, "We're going to run out even sooner if Negan- "

"I know." I finished my note and swiftly handed it back to her, heart pounding from nerves, "I have a solution, I wrote it down. Show it to Rick when we're gone."

"-so, Olivia sucks at her job is that what you're saying?" Negan and Rick came back out and immediately Olivia flinched, covering up the note.

"What's going on?"

"Olivia, my dear this was your responsibility." Negan smiled and walked to her, not allowing me to block her from him. I watched Rick run out of the house in a hurry.

"Negan, what's going on?"

"Your fat ass food keeper seems to have a few missing guns. Poor, old Rick went out to see if he could magically conjure them up."

"Which ones?" I pressed and Negan finally stopped hovering over Olivia to turn to me.

"Glock 9 and .22."

"If they were taken then Rick will find them. Guns used to go missing a lot here," I lied, "Let him find them and go inside."

"Laney- "

"Let them look for it." I pleaded and stepped closer to him, "you remember the first time Walkers entered the cells? We lost half our guns because people scattered and misplaced the. Stupid people in emergencies make dumb mistakes."

Negan licked his lips in thought before brushing my hair off my shoulder lovingly.

"That…is too fucking true. We did lose half our shit there, didn't we? Simon, take the girls outside to the front while I go check on Ricky."

"Come on." I grabbed Olivia's hand and followed Simon to the front gate as Negan departed.

As we stood there waiting, watching Rick and the other scramble to recover the misplaced guns, Simon began to talk aimlessly about Olivia and how much of a fuckup she was and how she's pretty much just killed her own self. She began to cry next to me and I turned to Simon slowly, he smiled as he caught my attention.

"what? Did I offend you and your friend?

"I wouldn't get to comfortable at Negan's side. One lie from me and you'll find yourself at the wrong end of Lucille."

He shut up at that, eyes narrowing as he unfolded his arms, clearly pissed. He went to raise his hand up to slap me but was quickly whacked in the head by Negan as he came up.

"Sorry I was gone so long, Baby girl. Your people keep just, fucking up." He wrapped his arms around me and rested his body weight on me.

The instinct to push him away came but I gave in to him instead. It was all about faking it now, getting on his good side. If I kept resisting him it would just take longer for him to trust me. Carl's words came back to me though s Negan and Simon chatted.

What if I had already given up? What if me wanting to resist was just a ruse I was making myself believe? What…what if inside I wanted to be a Savior again?

"Baby girl…Rick ain't all that tough like you wanted me to believe." He lowered his voice to me, "Did you know that man on the tape?"

"No. I wasn't here when they first came…I wasn't here long anyways."

"Hmm."

We were interrupted by Rick coming back with two guns in hand…and a deer. Michonne was here, I frowned as Negan became excited and essentially bounced over to Rick. I didn't even realize Michonne had been gone.

"Looks at this! This is something to build a relationship on." Negan inspected the rifle Rick offered up.

"I told you he'd find them." I smiled and Olivia let out a sigh of relief.

"I'd like to ask you if Daryl and Melaney could stay," Rick spoke to Negan as I walked up to them.

I felt my heart skip a beat as he glanced at me but I already knew the answer.

"Not happenin'." Negan shook his head then paused, "You know what? I don't know. Maybe Daryl can plead his case, maybe Daryl can sway me. Daryl?"

They turned to Daryl who just said nothing, Negan grinned.

"Well you tried."

"Melaney- "Rick began again but Negan cut him off with a glare.

"No. Laney is off fucking limits forever. Daryl was a maybe, she's a hell no."

I looked away and felt my own tears try to some out of my eyes, I knew Negan wouldn't let me go. Never again.

"Laney, let's go now." Negan held his arm out to me politely with a smile. I reluctantly wrapped my hand through his as we turned towards the gate. Negan continued to taunt Rick as another Walker came up and got through a hole in the gate. Negan grinned and let go of me as he smashed its head in. rick stood next to me, looking as numb as I felt. Negan smiled and came up to Rick again, whispering before pulling away.

"In case you haven't caught on, I just slipped my dick down your throat and you thanked me for it."

I followed Negan back to the truck and hopped in silently as Alexandria clanged shut. It was an odd moment, I had raided places before, more than a dozen times as a Savior and left without looking back at the damage we had caused…it just felt too weird, like my world was off balance too much.

"Well that went fine and dandy I do believe." Negan smiled at me as we flew down the road back to Sanctuary, "How do you think it went today?"

"It went well."

"Just well?"

"It went fine, Negan."

"I like hearing my name come out of your mouth again." He placed Lucille between us and I looked out the window to avoid him.

The Saviors burned mattresses from Alexandria in the rearview mirror and tossed gasoline on them until the flames reached the tops of the trees.

They were going to burn slowly.

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school, work, i took a vacation to canada. not really a very good explanation why i went on such a long hiatus but i'm back with more ideas! so go back to staying tuned for more chapters i have planned out for melaney:)