Chapter 35:
Mai P.O.V.
Holy crap…. stronger than Naru? How can that even be possible? "Mai? Are you still with me?" Vidi asks and I realized I had been quiet for some time. "Yes, I'm alright. Just processing… why has this month been so fucking hectic." I say putting my head in my hands, a migraine starting from all the stress my body had been through the last 2 hours. "I-I'm not sure Mai. The world works in cruel and weird ways I guess." was her answer. At least she tried. I sighed finally after staying quiet a few more seconds and nodded my head slightly. We stayed quite a few more minuet, no doubt she was letting me try to gain my bearings. I finally looked up. "ok thank you Vidi can you tell Naru I will talk to him now." she nodded her head as her response and got up but hesitated as she got to the door "Mai just don't take this time for granted you never know when it could be gone." was the message she left me with and closed the door behind her as she left. I groaned as my headache got worse and put my head back down in my hands. How had my life become so much trouble but also slowly start falling into place? Was this normal? Is this what love being? Being so goddamn angry at someone but loving every second of it and the time you spend with them. I was lost in my thoughts that I jumped when I felt someone's cold hand grab my right arm. I pulled back but the hand quickly grabbed me back "It's ok it's just me." came Naru's voice. I looked up to see him wearing his poker face. DAMN IT! There is that infuriation I was talking about, but damn it I don't want him to leave. Why can't he just be normal? oh yea… if he wasn't I wouldn't love him let alone know him. Our stare finally broke as he went to look down at my arm. He sighed and got up and walked into the hall and then I saw the bathroom light turn on. It went off and he was walking back into my room with the first aid kit. He pulled out the gauze, a wrap and some antiseptic (he he anti… Jacksepticeye fans?) he sat back down and held out one hand "give me your arm." he said his voice monotone while he was looking straight at me
I screwed up my face. "Say please." I taunted him. His features quickly took on anger
"Mai give me your fucking arm." he said ice lacing his voice no warmth to be found. I shrunk under his tone and grudgingly gave him my arm. I refused to look at him. I hissed out in pain at the sudden feeling of a cotton pad with the antiseptic on it
"Careful! That hurts just in case you want to know." I snapped at him. He glared up at me "oh but I bet causing them didn't hurt for a single second." was his answer as he started to wrap my arm having applied the gauze. I stared at him in disbelief. Before he finished the final wrap, I pulled my arm away and glared at him "Of fucking course it did you jackass! It was just better than emotional pain I was feeling and gave me something else to focus on instead. Also, let's not forget who caused all this to start in the first place." I yelled at him. I know that last bit was unnecessary but I wanted him to at least feel some pain after what he did… and how angry I was at the stupidity that had come out of his face. His face darkened again "thank you Mai. I know what I did. I just saw and felt every detail." he said his tone low. I gulped and stared at him as he continued "I don't know how you managed to fall for an asshole like me. You must have officially lost your mind. I also don't know how you could still love me after all the stupid crap I drove you to do and feel. Its bullshit if you ask me." he said, disgust written all over his face. Tears started to fall all over again. For someone so smart he really is obtuse. "Guess what Naru? We don't get to choose who we truly fall in love with. Don't say it's bullshit because it's not. Yes, we can eventually fall in love with people after spending time with them, but I believe the people we were meant to love, we don't get a say in. that's not our choice." my voice cracked and wavered as I continued. "When I first met you I hated you, I didn't ask for you nor want you in my life, though I can remember the day I realized I was in love with you it was quite a shock." I let out a sad giggle. "but here I am three years after all that 'bullshit' and I still love you. The guy who claims to love me back I might add; so please remove the disgust from your face. I see no reason for it." I finished and wiped my tears a small smile on my face.
"I'm disgusted with myself Mai." he whispered and my eyes widened at his revelation "What?" I asked. A small smile spread across his face "you really are dense." he said. I frowned and punched him in the arm. He looked let out a small laugh but he quickly went quiet and disgust took back over. "Mai look at what I caused you to do, feel. How could I have ever justified to myself that what I had done was ok. How could I had accepted the blatant lie I told myself? That it was ok because I loved you enough to let you go? I was. Still am an asshole Mai." he said hanging his head even lower. This was not the Naru I knew I hated to see him like this.
"No, you're not! Were you? Yes, you were an asshole but not anymore." I giggled at the thought of how far he had come. He just shook his head and I could tell that was the end of that topic.
"so, I said I needed to explain somethings, just let me say everything and then speak ok?" he said his normal tone coming back. There's my Naru. I nodded quickly "promise." I said
"Ok there are two things. First. Is that the case I took here wasn't a coincidence, I took it on purpose knowing you were in this city and I was hoping to run into you while I was here. To check on you and see how you were doing. I had also been watching you in the market we met in. Gene told me you would be there so I went to make sure you were ok, but before I knew it we had bumped into each other on my way out and well here we are. Secondly, I want to talk about your friends, particularly how crazy they are (A/N: yes… yes, I am.) they called me at 3 am… if it wasn't for what Emily had said tonight I would still wonder if they slept. Either way back to what I was getting at. When they called they told me who they were and that they knew what had happened between us. Sarah went on a ran about how she woke up and hour early just to go digging through her closet to find that outfit I believe she said 'what the fuck is wrong with you? Are you eyeballs and dick broken? I took a goddamn hour to plan that outfit so she would look amazing and i was almost late for work! And i was right she looked hot as fuck and you managed to screwed that up? You sure you're not gay (A/N: it's a joke please don't bust my balls.) or are you just really fucking stupid? "he laughed a little at that. "she is completely crazy (A/N: again… yes. Yes, I am. Don't fuck with me bitch. I have a sharp tongue and will use it when and how I please…...that just sounds wrong I apologize.) so after she had finished her rant they both explained that after our meeting you went home explained everything and then went back to your bedroom. Only coming out for dinner, and the bathroom. I caused you pain again when I was trying to solve the original pain I had caused. I know I don't say this often, but I'm sorry Mai. I never thought of how much pain I was putting you through by trying to save what I was trying to convince myself was you, but, it was me. I hope you can forgive me." I sat there thinking over what he had said. While I realize he was hurting after losing Gene, and he had no idea of the damage he was doing, but something seems off… oh. I know. "while I understand Naru, you are telling me that for three years I was on your mind, three years you knew how you felt and even though you doubted feelings for you, yo0u still knew I felt something?" I asked my voice low and monotone. "Yes." was his only response. I nodded my head "a few months after you left did Madoka call you telling you I was trying to commit suicide? Even though in reality I was just trying to get help, you would have gotten the lie." he looked at me now "yes, I did, I got Lin to call you instantly. I was worried until he told me the outcome." he answered I just nodded again but this time I slowly rose from the bed I walked to the bedroom door opened it and stood in the frame. Turning back, I said "Naru I think it best we sleep separate tonight." he stood to argue but I held up my hand to silence the argument before it could leave his mouth. "No. stay. Don't bother arguing I have made up my mind." I said. I walked to the bed grabbed my pillow and walked back tot the door frame. "Mai this is your house I should sleep on the couch." he said behind me. I just shook my head "you know Naru you were right all those years of calling me and idiot." is said not turning to face him
"What?" he said confusion and astonishment clear in his voice. I finally turned to him "because even now after all the pain I still love you and always will." I smiled at him but closed the door between us, effectively cutting off any response he had. I walked to the couch and lied down. I pulled the spare blanket we kept on top of me. I whimpered but refused to cry anymore. With a single traitorous tear falling down my cheek, I fell into a restless, dreamless sleep.
(A/N: IT'S BACK BITCHES! I finally posted another chapter for this book I started years ago! Are any of you readers from the early days? If so. Thank you so much for your constant support and patients with my shit uploading schedule and my idiotic comments. Also thank you to all the new readers! You guys are the main reason I upload so I can give a little bit of joy to someone! Now let's talk real shit. My college has gone on strike (BOOO FUCK YOU I PAID FOR EDUCATION) but this also means more time for me to write and upload. Now don't expect a rush of chapters and I also might be a bit depressing in my writing. This is because on October 18th,2017 I had to put my dog of 16 years to sleep. I don't want to go into it. But my writing might suffer so just bare with me for a bit. Either way thank you all so much! And I hope you enjoyed the chapter!