Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

The Marauders Year 1

Chapter 19: Werewolf

"Remus, what's wrong? You're all pale and you were completely out of it in class." James said as the Marauders were leaving Charms class and going to lunch. "I had to take over and take notes today. You know how much I hate taking notes! I only do that when you can't be here."

Remus didn't reply. He just kept walking with his head down. He couldn't handle anything today. This day is far worse than his birthday. He would gladly go back to his birthday if it meant that this day could be forgotten.

Today was March seventeenth. To everyone else this is just a normal day with nothing special going on this day. Those people don't realize the pain a young wizard faces on this day and why should they? They don't know or care about the young wizard. This is the day that turned Remus's life into HELL!

On this day seven years ago, Remus was bitten by a werewolf. Now every full moon, Remus would turn into a monster through a painful transformation. Because of that night seven years ago, nothing would ever go right for Remus. He would have no true friends that stuck by him when they knew he was a werewolf. He would never be able to get a good job either. He would never have a good life.

What is the point? Remus thought as he trudged down to the Great Hall. What is the point of me being here? I can learn all the magic I want, but it won't change anything. I'll never be able to get a good job. My friends will leave me when they learn the truth. Why do I even bother?

James, Sirius, and Peter watched their friend, very concerned. He wasn't acting like his usual self. Remus was always in a cheerful mood, laughing with them or he was in an irritable mood. But today he wasn't either of those. He was moping around the castle like he has the worst life ever. That wasn't like him. Remus didn't mope. He never got upset, angry a few times yes, but upset? Never! Being upset was one thing Remus wasn't. And if he was upset, then they never saw it. Remus is a master of controlling his emotions most of the time. Very few times his stoic expression broke and those were times when he was fighting with his friends.

The three boys followed their moping friend into the Great Hall. He sat down at their usual seats and let his head fall and slam onto the table. Like usual, the boys sat around their friend, but instead of filling their plates like they normally would, the boys just sat there.

Sirius and James were trying to get Remus to sit up and eat, while Peter watched them, throwing a few words in here and there.

"Come on, Remus, you have to eat. You're really too small for a twelve year old. When I saw James for the first time, I thought he was too scrawny….."

"OI!" James said indignantly.

"…..but then I saw you. You need to fatten up. You're much too small." Sirius said.

"Leave me alone." Remus's voice was laced with self-pity.

Sirius grabbed Remus's should and roughly pulled him up. "What's with the self-pity act?"

Remus wrenched his shoulder free and looked at his empty plate.

"Remus, we are your friends. Please tell us what is wrong." James said.

Remus looked up and gave his friends a weak, shaky smile. "I'm not hungry. I think I'm going to go study. I'll see you guys later."

Before his friends could reply, Remus was up out of his seat and leaving the Great Hall.

"Did he not hear anything I said about him being too small?" Sirius asked annoyed.

"Is that all you care about? He's moping around the school, obviously upset over something, and all you have to say is that he's too small?" James waved his hands in the air.

"I'm just speaking the truth." Sirius huffed.

James rolled his eyes.

As soon as he was out of the Great Hall, Remus ran up the stairs and to the Astronomy Tower. He really hoped that he didn't run into a couple in there. Those couples really need to learn to make out somewhere more private. It was annoying to meet them in there.

Luckily, when Remus got to the Astronomy Tower, he found it empty. He climbed through one of the windows in the tower and climbed onto the roof. He planted his feet firmly on the roof to keep from slipping off the roof and laid down with his hands planted under his head. Remus needed a break from everything. This was going to be a bad day, he could tell. It would be best to avoid his friends for a while until he could get his emotions under control of what this day meant to him.

For the rest of lunch time, Remus laid on the roof of the Astronomy Tower. He let his mind wonder for the next hour….wondering to the night he was bitten. The horrible night when he went against his dad's orders and gone outside.

Remus gasped and shot up, sweat pouring down his face and neck and gasping for breath. His eyes were darting all around. How could he let his mind wander to that night again? It was a night he never wanted to think of again, but his mind refused to forget that night.

Sighing, Remus shook his head to get rid of the bad thoughts and decided to go back inside. He slowly inched towards the roof, where he grabbed the edges and swung off of the roof and through the window. Despite his appearance, Remus was very athletic. It came with being a werewolf. He had great balance, sight, hearing, and strength because he was a werewolf. While those traits were great and helpful, he would rather give them up and not be a werewolf.

Remus shoved his hands in his pockets and left the tower to go find his friends. He hoped that he appeared more cheerful than he was before so they wouldn't ask any more questions. If they ask more questions, Remus felt that he might just explode with how nervous he felt. He can't take all the suspicious questions and looks his friends gave him.

But, luckily for Remus, James, Sirius, and Peter didn't ask him any questions at all the rest of the day. They gave him curious and worried looks, but kept silent. None of them wanted to upset him again, so they agreed at lunch that they wouldn't bother Remus with their questions again.

Auva came home for work looking very worried and twitchy. He pulled Lena to the side and hugged her tightly. Remus watched them from the couch, confused. It was very rare for his dad to be this nervous about something. Actually, Remus thought, he didn't think he ever saw his dad nervous about anything.

"Dear, what's wrong?" Lena asked worriedly.

"I need to talk to you." Auva replied. He glanced at Remus and got more nervous. "Remus, go to your room and stay there. I need to tell your mother something."

Remus looked confused, but obeyed his dad like the good little boy he was, well most of the time. He had no idea of what was going on, which was strange for him. Usually he was able to figure out what was wrong by watching and listening to people, which his parents said was amazing (especially for a five year old), but this time he was completely lost at what was going on.

About two hours after being sent to his room, Remus was beginning to get really bored. There was almost nothing to do to keep his attention. Just as Remus was about to scream into his pillow out of sheer boredom, his door opened and his father came inside.

"Hi dad!" Remus chirped, happy for the distraction from his boredom.

Auva was frowning though. He sat on his son's bed and pulled his son onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around Remus and buried his face into his hair. "I love you, Remus. Nothing will ever change that. Don't forget that, Remus."

"I love you to, dad." Remus replied confused.

"Remus, don't go outside tonight. I want you to stay inside, understand?" Auva ordered.

As soon as her father said that, Remus's brain started forming a plan to sneak out. No matter how good of a boy Remus is, he was still a little kid and little kids rebelled against what their parents said once in a while. It's the way kids are.

Remus grinned to himself as he snuck downstairs, careful to avoid the squeaky steps. He didn't want his parents to wake up before he even made it outside. At the bottom of the stairs, Remus turned towards the kitchen, deciding to go out the kitchen door.

The young boy looked up at the bright moon when he made it outside. The moon made Remus's blue eyes wide and glow bright and crystal like. He smiled at the moon. Remus always loved the full moon. It was so pretty in his opinion.

A loud growling noise snapped Remus back to reality. He looked around trying to find the source of the noise. It sounded like there was a dog nearby, which confused Remus. None of his neighbors had a dog. There was a cat and rabbit that his neighbors had, but there were no dogs.

Remus's crystal blue eyes landed on a pair of bright gold angry eyes. The body of the eyes was hidden in the shadows of the trees in the yard. Remus took a step back in fear. As he took this step, the pair of eyes got closer to him. The body of the eyes became bathed in the moonlight as it walked out of the shadows.

As the beast came out of the shadows, Remus saw it what it was. The beast had dark brown fur, a short snout, tuft tail, and it was snarling at Remus, showing all its yellow fangs. Remus could almost see the thing smirking at him. It smelled the fear in the air and was deliberately approaching Remus slowly to make the young boy more scared.

With each stepped that Remus took to get away from the beast, the beast took another step forward.

Out of nowhere, the beast made its move. It jumped into the air towards Remus, who yelled and jumped backwards, resulting in him falling over. The beast landed on top him, efficiently pinning him to the ground. Its claws dug into Remus's arms. The maniac gleam in the beast's eyes changed to crazed excitement and sadism as the beast looked at its prey. He opened his mouth wide and plunged its head towards his victim.

Remus screamed loudly in pain as the beast's teeth broke his skin. He felt his blood pool around him as the beast's bite tightened on his arm. Tears streamed down Remus's face as the beast's claws raked his body. His screams reverberated all around him. The pain! Remus felt like the pain was going to kill him.

"HELP! SOMEBODY HELP!" Remus screamed through the pain. His mouth tasted like salt water as his tears slid into his mouth as he was screaming. "HELP ME! PLEASE!"

The beast finally let go of Remus's arm. Remus stared at the beast through watery eyes. He didn't know what was worse, staring at the beast or looking at what the beast did to his body. From the pain in his body, Remus knew it wasn't a pretty sight.

Remus risked a glance at his arm, if only to stop staring at the horrible beast on top of him. What he saw made him sick. His torso and arms were covered in scratches from the beast. But the worse wound the beast had given him was the bite wound. It was like the beast tore part of his arm away. His blood was pouring all over the place. His bones were showing and they were cracked all over the place. It was like the beast tore them out of his body with the way they were pointing out. If he didn't die from the pain first, he would most likely die from the blood lost.

The rest of Remus's thoughts were lost as he saw the beast make another bow to bite him again. Remus screamed in pain as the beast bit into his shoulder. He screamed himself hoarse as the beast's fangs sunk into his skin. The last thing he saw before falling unconscious was a bright flash of red light and the weight on him being released.

Remus felt himself falling through darkness. The pain from the attack still fresh. It felt like it was intensified in this darkness by at least one hundred times.

"Help," Remus whimpered.

"You're just like me now." A vicious, sadistic voice said. "A monster!"

Remus screamed in pain. "NO! Help! Somebody help me! Please! I'm not a monster! Help!"

"REMUS!"

"AHHHH!"

"REMUS, WAKE UP!"

*A few minutes earlier*

It was the middle of the night when James was woken by loud screaming that made him tumble out of his bed. He flailed in his blankets as the screaming continued. After managing to free his head, James looked at Sirius and Peter through bleary eyes to see them also up. Sirius was sitting in his bed and Peter was lying on the ground. James looked at his last roommate and friend, Remus to see his dark figure thrashing around in his sheets, trapped in the blankets, and screaming for help. James picked his wand up off his nightstand and whispered 'Lumos' and put his glasses on to see better.

"What's going on?" Peter asked, rubbing his eyes.

James looked back at Remus and felt his heart go out to him. Tears and sweat were rolling down his skin as he screamed and thrashed all over the place. "We have to wake him."

James moved over to Remus's bed and put his wand on Remus's nightstand. He grabbed Remus's shoulders and started to shake him. "Remus! Remus, come on, wake up!"

Remus whimpered in his sleep.

Sirius appeared on the other side of Remus's bed. "REMUS!"

"REMUS, WAKE UP!" James yelled, shaking Remus harder.

Pounding at the door, distracted James and Sirius from waking their friend. They turned towards the door.

Remus screaming for help again brought the boys back to him. James went back to trying to wake Remus, while Sirius went to answer the door.

Sirius met a group of angry older students when he opened the door a crack. He didn't want them to see what was going on inside, so he only had it opened a crack.

"What the hell are you four doing?" Angel hissed angrily, pushing her messy hair out of her face.

Sirius glanced back into his room to see James still shaking Remus and Peter coming out of the bathroom with a glass of water for Remus when he wakes up. He turned back to the angry students. "Nothing, go back to sleep."

"How can we sleep with all the yelling going on in there?" Shawn asked angrily.

"Who's at the door?" Peter asked.

"Just some very angry students," Sirius said over his shoulder. He looked back at the students. "Look, just go away. We are busy."

"It's two thirty in the morning, what could…" Angel started.

"HELP! Somebody help, please!" Remus whimpered.

"REMUS! WAKE UP, DAMN IT!" James yelled, shaking Remus violently.

Sirius growled. He slammed the door in the shocked Angel's face and went back to Remus. He pushed James out of the way and held Remus down onto the bed with one hand on his chest and slapped Remus's face with his other hand. "WAKE UP!"

Remus yelled and shot up, pushing Sirius aside. His wide eyes darted around the room, looking at everything fearfully.

"Remus, calm down, nothing is going to hurt you here." James said calmly, putting a calming hand on Remus's shoulder.

Wide eyes looked at James. Remus breathing was really heavy and he felt sick to his stomach. It felt like he was going to throw up soon. He grabbed his throat with his hand at this feeling. A glass of water appeared in front of his face. Remus smiled appreciatory at Peter and drank the water, which helped quench the queasy feeling.

"Sorry for waking you up." Remus said weakly, avoiding his friends' eyes. He felt so embarrassed about his nightmare and couldn't meet his friends' eyes.

"Don't worry about it, though I'm not sure the older students are happy." Sirius replied. "But who cares about them?"

Remus looked at his blankets. He ran a hand through his sweaty hair.

"Why don't you go take a shower? It might help you relax after that nightmare." James suggested.

Remus nodded his head. He swung his legs over his bed and stood up weakly on his shaky legs. James saw this and swung an arm around Remus's waists and threw one of Remus's arms over his shoulder and held it down with his other hand. He guided him to the bathroom.

"Remus," James said when they were in the bathroom.

Remus looked up at James from his position on the floor. He was leaning against the wall with his legs pulled up to his chest. He couldn't look James in the eye, so he focused on staring at James's chest. "Yeah?"

"You don't need to feel embarrassed. Everyone has nightmares once in a while. It's normal." James took in Remus's pale complexion, tearstained face, and the beads of sweat that were still covering Remus. "It must have been one hell of a nightmare."

Remus tightened the grip he had around his legs.

"Do you want to talk about it?" James asked, kneeling in front of Remus so he could look the boy in the eyes.

Remus fervently shook his head.

Sighing, James put a hand on Remus's shoulder. "If you ever want to talk, I'll always listen, Remus." James was hoping that Remus would change his mind and talk. Talking always helped after a nightmare, but Remus remained firm on his decision not to talk. "Fine, I won't make you talk. Go take your shower, Remus. I'll get you some fresh pajamas."

James went back into the dorm to find Peter sitting on his bed, fiddling with his shirt. He looked up when James came in. "Sirius took your cloak and went to the kitchen. He wants to ask the house-elves to bring some hot chocolate up here for us. He thinks Remus needs it."

"Remus does feel that chocolate fixes everything." James smiled weakly. He grabbed some pajamas out of Remus's dresser and took them to the bathroom.

When he was finished with his shower, Remus got dressed and stared at the mirror. His golden eyes shined with pain, sadness, and fear. He had blue eyes as a kid, but when he got bitten by that werewolf, his crystal blue eyes turned to a bright gold. Most people liked gold eyes, saying they were so rare and pretty, but Remus hated them. They were one of the signs he had that he was a werewolf. Every time he saw them, he was reminded of the fact that he was a werewolf.

By the time Remus was finished in the bathroom, Sirius was back and four goblets of hot chocolate were sitting on each of the boys' nightstand. Remus stared mindlessly into his hot chocolate.

"Come on, Remus, drink up. It's really good and it will make you feel better." Sirius said.

Remus looked at each of his friends to see them drinking their own hot chocolate and smiling at him. Despite their smiles, each of them was showing worry and concern in their eyes. All that concern was directed at him and that made Remus's heart lift. They cared about him.

At home, whenever he had a nightmare, his parents would come and wake him up. They would comfort him and stay with him until he fell back to sleep, but his friends insisted on giving him hot chocolate and they stayed up with him to. He expected them to just wake him up from a nightmare, make sure he was alright, and go back to sleep. He never expected them to stay up and give him hot chocolate to make him feel better. How different his parents and friends fixed problems.

Remus drank some of his hot chocolate and grinned. It was delicious! The house-elves really knew how to make stuff out of chocolate.

The boys drank their hot chocolate in silence and when they were all finished, Remus crawled back into bed. James turned the lights off, but he, Sirius, and Peter didn't lie down. They sat in silence in the dark, glancing at Remus every once in a while. Once they were sure he was asleep and wouldn't have another nightmare, the boys got under their own blankets and went to sleep.

Remus, James, Sirius, and Peter all had their heads on the table and were snoozing away a few hours later at breakfast. They didn't get much sleep after Remus's nightmare. He woke up again after thirty minutes of sleeping. His friends woke up after him when Remus starting moving around the room. He couldn't get back to sleep after that, so his friends decided to stay up with him the rest of the night.

Nothing could wake these boys from their wonderful dreams. Not the delicious smelling food or the noise of the students as they ate and talked to each other. They were completely out of it. Any student that tried to wake them got hit or hexed by one the boys in their deep sleep. Even when the bell chimed for classes to start, the boys still slept.

~*~Meanwhile~*~

"Where are Messrs. Black, Potter, Lupin, and Pettigrew?" McGonagall looked up from taking attendance to look at her class.

Lily rolled her eyes. "They are sleeping in the Great Hall, ma'am. They stayed up practically all night for some reason."

"It isn't enough that they cause so much chaos around here," McGonagall grumbled as she left her class to get the rest of her students.

"WAKE UP! WAKE UP!" McGonagall yelled and clapped her hands together.

James groaned at the sound and turned his head to look up at his professor. "Do you have to be so loud?"

"Class started ten minutes ago." McGonagall replied.

James sighed and looked at his still sleeping friends. He kicked Sirius, knocking him off the bench. Sirius landed on the floor with an 'oomph.'" He lifted his head off the ground to glare at James, who was grinning down at Sirius with his arms crossed over his chest.

"What the hell, Potter?" Sirius growled.

"Minnie says we're late to class." James nodded towards McGonagall.

McGonagall's nostrils flared. "It's Professor McGonagall, Mr. Potter. Ten points from Gryffindor and another ten from each of you for being late to class."

Sirius and James groaned. As if the Gryffindors weren't mad enough at them.

"Let's wake Remus and Peter." James sighed.

"Do we have to wake Remus? This is probably the best sleep he's had today." Sirius said.

"Sadly, we are being forced by the dictator to attend class." James replied, leaning over the table to push Peter out of his seat to wake him up.

Peter groaned. "Why?"

"I had to wake you up." James replied. He looked at Remus's sleeping figure and sighed. "Remus, wake up. Remus!" James started to shake Remus's shoulders gently to wake him.

"You knock us out of our seats to get us to wake up, but you just shake Remus. Not cool, James, not cool." Sirius pouted.

James rolled his eyes. "Remus just looks….more fragile then you guys. I don't want to hurt him by pushing him onto the floor."

Sirius sighed. That was true. All of them saw how fragile Remus looks. He was always pale and he was very small too, smaller than most people his age. Besides that, he was always very sickly looking. They never said anything about him being sick because they were used to him always looking sick.

"Remus, wake up!" James continued to shake Remus.

"This is ridiculous." Sirius grabbed two plates off the table and banged them together right next to Remus's ears.

Remus's eyes snapped open. He screamed and tried to jump backwards away from the noise, but in his sleep deprived mind he forgot that he was sitting, so when he tried to jump, his feet got stuck on the bench. This ended up with Remus lying mostly on the floor with his legs lying on the bench.

James and Sirius leaned over the table to look at Remus. After staring at Remus blankly for a few minutes Sirius burst out laughing with James joining him a few seconds later.

"You're all jerks." Remus mumbled.

"Come on, Remus, get up. We have to go to class." James was snickering as he said this.

Remus groaned as he stood up. He rubbed his head where he felt a bump forming.

"Are you okay, Remus?" Peter asked, concern lacing his voice.

"At least someone cares about my well-being." Remus sent a glare at the laughing duo.

"We care, Remus!" Sirius replied, feigning hurt.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Yeah, sure you do." He said sarcastically.

Sirius grinned. He either didn't notice the sarcasm or decided to ignore it. "Good, now that that is settled, it's time for Transfiguration!"

"Oh, fun, fun, fun," Remus muttered.

McGonagall cleared her throat. "Ms. Evans has informed me that you four stayed up all night. Care to explain to me, why?"

James glanced at Remus and bit his lip. He didn't want to tell McGonagall about Remus having a nightmare without Remus's permission. He didn't want to anger Remus by telling McGonagall. Remus might not want anyone to know. He was really embarrassed when his friends helped him after the nightmare. If anyone else found out he had a nightmare, Remus just might die of embarrassment.

"No, professor, we don't care to tell you why we stayed up all night." Remus snapped.

McGonagall narrowed her eyes at her student. "Don't use that tone with me, Mr. Lupin."

Remus shrugged nonchalantly.

James cleared his throat nervously. "Uh….class time!"

McGonagall sighed and turned on her heels and walked out of the Great Hall with her students following her.

"Will you be okay?" James asked as the boys walked behind their professor on their way to class.

Remus looked at his friend with bloodshot eyes. He had dark rings under his eyes and was really pale. He smiled weakly. "Of course I will. Why wouldn't I be?"

James raised a brow. "Have you looked in a mirror? You look horrible."

"No worries," Remus ginned weakly.

"If you're sure," James replied uncertainly.

Half way through the school day, James knew he was right to worry for his friend. In their afternoon classes, Remus didn't attempt anything. He tried in his morning classes but his progress in them was really poor. Now, Remus just couldn't try any more. Instead of listening to his professor like a good student, Remus put his head on his book (pillow to him right now) and fell asleep immediately.

Knowing that his friend needed the sleep, James didn't wake him up. He grabbed his book and put in propped up in front of Remus to hide his sleeping head.

At the end of class, James pulled the sleeping Remus out of his chair, snapping the boy awoke. He stared tiredly at James, his mind not thinking clearly at the moment. James continued to tug Remus down the corridor with Peter and Sirius following.

"I swear you are so much trouble." James said. "You're lucky you weren't caught."

Remus blinked. "Caught doing what?"

James glanced at him with a raised brow. "Sleeping in class. You do know that's not allowed, right?"

Remus shrugged.

"I wanted to sleep to. I'm so tired." Sirius whined.

Remus looked at his feet. That was his fault. If it wasn't for him having a stupid nightmare then his friends would have been able to sleep. God, why did he have to be so weak to be scared of the same nightmare he has every year on March seventeenth?

Noticing the embarrassed look on Remus's face, Sirius clapped a hand on his shoulder. "Don't be like that. I'm not blaming you. Having a nightmare is part of life. Everyone gets them. I have them too. James has them and so does Peter."

"I didn't know that. I never see you guys having nightmares." Remus replied.

"We can either hide them or you are not here when we have the horrible ones that wake the others." James smiled at Remus.

"Oh." Remus said quietly.

"We agreed to never mention them again." Peter said, thinking that Remus might be offended that they didn't tell him.

Remus smiled. He didn't ask his friends what their nightmares were about and in return, they didn't ask about his. They forgot about each other having nightmares and went on to enjoy the rest of the day but went to bed early to catch up on their sleep. Each fell asleep with a smile on their face, knowing that everything was better than it was the night before.

A/N: Had you fooled, didn't I? Got you believing the Marauders figured out Remus is a werewolf. I'm a jerk for leading you on, I know.

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