Fresh Air

I stared at the gate of walkers silently, trying not to breath or move even though they had seen me already. my finger was on the trigger around my rifle, but they didn't pose any harm from behind the gate to me...most of them were saviors at one point but now they were as equally unrecognizable as the ones in the wood's miles away from sanctuary. I should go back inside, I'd been out here staring for twenty minutes when I should be meeting Simon in the cell block. Not yet though, I just couldn't stop staring at them.

I closed my eyes and let myself think about what happened, seeing Sasha in my head and hearing her moan and-

I sucked in a breath and opened my eyes, vision clearing to the bright blue skies and grey gravel beneath me. I still couldn't believe I let that happen, I could've done something to save her from dying in that coffin. I could've at least said something before she decided to turn herself. I spotted a young black woman walker, struggling to move across the lot and twitching in hunger. It wasn't Sasha, but they were alike enough to make my stomach churn.

"Doll!" I turned and saw Simon walk out of the cell block doors, smiling wide with his arms out as he made his way to me. I nodded and smiled back, shifting my weapon to my back as he came and stood next to me, "You hungry?"

"No." I shrugged but Simon wasn't listening, his attention was on the walkers in front of us too.

"I forget about these damn things out here all the time."

"We spend all our lives trying to be unique and different, from hair color to clothes and we end up all the same." I spoke.

"Dead and decaying."

"Before this happened, how come nobody turned into them? When we died, we just died and were buried and soon people forgot about us a time grew on and generations passed by."

"That's mighty philosophical and depressing." Simon muttered, I smiled at that and he grinned back, "Hell Doll, it could've been something in the air, something we drank like a bioweapon chemical."

"Well all my friends are dead so." I let Simon lead me away from the fence and to the mess hall steps.

"Still consider them your friends? I remember you firing at them and t hem trying to kill you only a couple weeks ago. Hell, you helped Negan and me in the heat of battle."

"Yeah, I know Simon. I was there."

"You close to the one that bit the bullet?"

"Kind of. Sasha and I never had problems with each other. I watched Negan shove her into the cell with the others and never lifted a finger to help them. I never did a thing, I just stood there and watched."

"You seem to forget you used to be a savior before you decided to run away. Never whined about the shit Negan had you doing back then…you better start getting it into your head that you belong here doll, and nothing's going to change that."

Simon gave my hand a gentle squeeze as we walked in and headed for the empty cafeteria line. It was a nice day outside so mostly everyone was taking advantage of it and eating in the sun before it turned blistering hot again. I got my food and sat down, poking around at the sandwich I got before Simon sat down and dug in like an animal. He was right though, I used to do worse things for Negan when I first came here with Leo…god, Leo. I set my sandwich down as he flashed across my mind. I hadn't thought about him in so long, same with that young kid, Michael. That was like another lifetime ago, almost like it was a dream.

I looked up as Simon was called for outside and he nodded to me and left quickly. His spot was immediately taken by Eugene and I stilled for a moment, mouth full of food as the stern looking man stared at me blankly.

"Uh, hi?"

"Hello Melaney."

I coughed and struggled to swallow my food as Eugene looked around us warily even though the mess hall was virtually empty save for the cooks. When he came here after Spencer's death he had been treated royally, much to my surprise. Negan had taken an instant liking to Eugene which was a relief to me, he was treated like trash in Alexandria and had taken to his new roles here like he was made for them. He was almost as high ranking as I was with his undying devotion to Negan, which even Simon said was a little creepy, but I was happy Eugene was okay here.

"Alright, what's going on? You look like Negan's about to come around the corner and bust your- "

"We need to discuss something in private, it's very important." He cut me off and I looked around the empty hall pointedly.

"We can always just whisper you know." I offered, and he just blinked, "Oh for fuck's sake Eugene, come on."

I led him up to my-Negan's-room and shut all the doors and locked them for his sake. I sat down on the bed and he remained standing for a moment as we listened to the workers outside for a moment.

"Well? Nobody's coming up here, Negan's been too busy to come up here nowadays with Rick and everyone on our ass."

"We have a mole in sanctuary. I'm fairly certain this mole has been feeding information to Rick's group about us. That's how they know where we are and how they're always ready."

"A traitor? Who?" I stood up, already reaching for my walkie but Eugene stopped me.

"You can't tell him."

"Why the hell not? If someone is posing a threat- "

"Because I'm not one hundred percent sure who it is." He lowered his eyes and I frowned, feeling like a jerk.

"Alright, I won't tell him. Who do you think it is then?"

"I can't- "

"Don't make me pull rank on you, Eugene."

"I have my suspicions it's Dwight." He said, and I felt my heart sink a little bit at that. I had so much hope for Dwight to redeem himself.

"What makes you suspect Dwight?"

"He's in places he shouldn't be, and he disappears on runs and evades my questions."

"Eugene, you're not the best interrogator in the world here." I muttered, and he agreed, "alright, well let's just keep n eye on him. If you see him doing shady shit come, get me. We'll tell Negan together when we have enough evidence on him okay?"

"Laney, where the hell are you you're needed in the mess hall." Simon's voice crackled over the radio and I motioned for Eugene to unlock the door.

"I'm coming, hold on."

We made out way back to the mess hall where Eugene just gave me a look before turning and going to the garden doors, I spotted Simon talking to a couple other saviors and made my way to him and plopped down on a seat. It was troubling for sure, but it would explain a lot; why Rick and everyone seemed to know where we were before we got there. Dwight was a good mole too, nobody really paid attention to him anymore, so it would be easy for him to sneak around.

"Well, well. What was up with you and creep-o?" Simon taunted as he turned back towards me.

"Nothing, if it gets to be trouble I'll let you know. Until then, shove off."

"No need to be snippy." Simon laughed, and I glared.

"Why am I here, again."

Simon was interrupted by Negan walking in the mess hall swinging his bat and clanging it on a trashcan as he spotted us. I propped my foot up on the bench and rested my head on my knee as he shouted at us in hello. Simon and he exchanged details about the day as I played with my laces and eyed Lucille next to Negan's leg. The bat was spotless, which meant Negan killed something recently and had probably spent the last five hours cleaning the inanimate object. He pulled me from my thoughts with a hand on my head, carding through my hair.

"Being a pain in the ass for Simon, I hear."

"He's the ass." I replied, and they smirked as Negan took a seat next to me, stretching his arms out.

"Bunch of fucking kids you two are, I swear." He yawned, "Simon, mind grabbing the men for me? Have an announcement."

"Sure thing, boss."

Simon left quickly, and Negan relaxed against the table, closing his eyes as I watched him silently, resting my head back on my knee again. He cracked one eye open at me.

"Still no word on how Daryl got out."

"I didn't let him out Negan, and I didn't let him out the other fifty times you've asked me about it."

"Funny how none of the wives like you anymore."

"I may have threatened them a couple of times." I bit back, anger rising in me at his nonchalant sounding questions, "Tame your sluts, Negan and maybe I won't have to yell at them to stay the hell out of my way."

"Watch your tone" he looked at me fully now, voice sharp and warning.

"Oh, shut up, you're acting like some glorified pimp. Nobody needs that many women for anything." I hissed, straightening up and Negan sighed.

"We've already talked about this Laney."

"And I'm standing my ground on it! You're so worried about keeping appearances to the men you forget that everyone is a human being, and nobody wants to be treated like a slave locked up in a room wearing thigh highs and dresses. And I don't like the way you say I'm different than them either, of course I fucking am, I'm not your damn wife."

I stood up angrily, towering over his sitting form. I was aware of my rifle slung across my back and how Lucille was resting in between his legs. I could pop off a round into his face before he could swing the bat up to hit me.

"You are, Laney. Different."

"In what way? We'd be better off without you having other women to fuck."

"You're in my bed every single fucking night, Laney. Who else is there for me to fuck besides you?" he spit back, I could tell he was getting agitated.

"When I'm not there then?" I crossed my arms, "You're not exactly Mr. Faithful."

"Enough." He got up, towering over me with Lucille in his hand and I lowered my eyes instantly as I felt him stare down at me, "Stop this bullshit, Baby girl. You know me better than anyone else here…Look, I've got a job for you alright?"

"What job? Why?"

"Simon and several others have told me about the bitching you make so I'm sending you out. plus, you've proven yourself to the point where I know you won't run back to Alexandria or Hilltop."

"I burnt my bridges with them because of you, you mean." I whispered and Negan grinned wide at that.

I could never go back there, to a place I thought I'd call home forever. But he was right, I couldn't go back even if I wanted to…and Daryl, the only reason I'd go back is for him. But he hated me, I turned my back on him and the people I had called family for Negan. Always for Negan.

"There's a new community I want you to check out. I have word it won't be anything like last time with the cannibals."

"Where?"

"Three hours North."

"That's a stretch even for us." I sat back down as Negan rubbed his stubble and nodded in agreement.

We were distracted as Saviors poured into the mess hall, led by Simon who had his usual dumb grin on his face. Negan waited until everyone was inside before hopping up on the table next to where I was sitting, spreading his arms out in welcome like he always did.

"Howdy folks, listen up, there's going to be a change around here now that Alexandria is ours and shit's been taken care of. I need to address some shit in my own house." Negan dramatically inspected Lucille, "Jameson, get over here."

One of Negan's lieutenants walked forward through the crowd, he had been here for a while now, I knew him back when I first came here. He was tall as Negan eyed him up and down before jumping off the table and striding over to him.

"So, Jameson, I was made aware recently that you were the one on watch over Daryl…you were the one that fucked off for some reason and let him escape." He eyed his lieutenant as he circled him slow like a shark.

"Sir- "

"I didn't tell you to speak." Negan snarled at him, "Now, I can feed you to the gate but that means I'm down one guard so I'm gonna spare you. This time."

The relief on Jameson's face was evident but wasted as Negan kicked out both his legs, forcing him to fall to the floor hard, landing on his hands and knees. Negan walked away from him and turned to me, beckoning me over with a nod of his head. I made my way as he addressed the rest of the men and women. Nobody smiled or laughed, nobody moved.

"Melaney, I think your actions in Alexandria and the other day when those fuckers fired on us not only proved your loyalty to me, but to everyone else as well. Does anyone else agree?"

I looked out to everyone and saw Simon beam in happiness and nod, most of the other saviors nodded as well. For a second, I felt flooded with emotion I hadn't felt before.

"She's shown us she's not with those assholes anymore." Arat spoke up behind Simon, "She was always a savior and those fucks mean nothing to her now."

"She's changed my mind about her." Simon agreed, and Negan winked at me.

"Good. We're all in agreement. So, I'm promoting you to Lieutenant, that prick's job." Negan motioned to Jameson who was still on the floor, "Congratulations, Laney you're in my top three."

There was murmurs then, saviors looking at me and smiling and nodding to me in respect. I was still, this couldn't be happening. Negan was looking at me waiting for a reply but all I could do was stay rooted to the spot.

"For fucks sake Laney, this isn't a joke you can move."

"I don't get it." I turned to him and he shrugged.

"You earned your place back here. You deserve something for it don't you?"

"She shouldn't even be here!"

We all turned to look at who shouted as the man made his way through the crowd. I felt my heart sink when I saw his face; Mark, Amber's ex. Negan's expression turned from happiness to 'oh you're fucking kidding me right now'.

"And why the fuck not, Krueger?"

"After all the shit she made you- all of us- go through, she's just automatically back in?"

"Yep." Negan said through clenched teeth.

"She's a fucking child!" Jameson chimed in, getting up, both were red in the face with anger.

Negan stayed next to my side, busying himself with my rifle strap on my shoulder, picking at it absently as the men exploded in anger.

"Just because she's your fuck- "

Jameson wasn't able to finish, Simon had stepped forward and sucker punched him straight in the back, sending him down to the floor in pain. Mark respectfully stepped back into the crowd and lowered his eyes as Negan walked forward slowly, Lucille drug on the floor threateningly, barbwire screeching on the ground.

"I still didn't say you could speak. I'm being fucking generous with my punishment for losing our best fucking hostage! Arat, take him outside. Mark, learn your fucking place before I burn off the other side of your face." Negan warned, I looked away as Jameson was tugged outside, "Anyone else wanna question my judgement?"

Nobody said a word and Negan waved them away. They rushed out of there quickly, I caught Mark's eye before he slipped through the door and I felt the hatred from him and Amber in the look he gave me. The door slammed shut and I was left with Simon and Negan, as usual.

"So, Lieutenant, first order of business is the new community."

Later that evening found me packing my duffel bag with Simon in my room sipping whiskey and reading a book. To say I was excited was an understatement, this was my first solo mission, although the last one with Simon went haywire, I was more confident I would pull this off. I looked through my bag a second time before sitting on the bed and pouring myself a drink too. There was the feeling that I could screw up too though.

"Never understood Hamlet much in school." Simon responded, flipping the page and I shook my head, "It's a tragedy and everyone dies at the end."

"Do you think anything bad will happen?" I felt the liquor travel down my throat and tried to remember the burn,

"I just said that everyone dies so yeah; tragedy."

"At the community asshole, what if they don't want to trade with us? What if they kill me right then and there? I've never done this before, even when the apocalypse started I was always with someone."

"You'll only be gone for two weeks, Laney at the most. From the info we got they're not a big group, he won't care if you kill them or being them back if they're not useful." Simon offered, setting the book down and propping his feet up on another chair, "If it goes smoothly then they can armor up with us and take out Alexandria."

"Simon. I've never been by myself." I looked to him and he smirked.

"You were when you ran away."

"That was barely like…like a week!"

"But you survived."

"I always had someone to go to; Rick in Alexandria, you and Negan here…I just, I really don't want to let him down again." I looked down at my drink and Simon frowned before getting up and giving me a gentle hug.

"Hey, hey doll it's alright. Negan wouldn't fucking put you on his side for no reason. You kicked ass at Alexandria, tore those fucks to pieces when they started blaming you for everything. You need some breathing room; doll and he's giving you the opportunity to work on yourself even more." He gave me a gentle kiss in my hair, "You don't leave until tomorrow afternoon, so relax."

The door opened in the main foyer and Simon jerked away from me like I was fire, I sat back down on the bed just in time as Negan came through the doors. He saw the two of us me and his eyes narrowed immediately looking between us suspiciously. Simon whistled low and finished his drink quickly as Negan took off his leather jacket and placed it on the chair carefully.

"What's going on?"

"Complaining to Simon about tomorrow. He lent me his good whiskey." I smiled before Simon could speak, and Negan relaxed instantly.

"Better you than me, talks my ear off for no reason sometimes."

"Right boss. See you in the morning." Simon nodded and walked out quickly, shutting the door softly.

Negan continued his nightly annoyances, bitching about some of the saviors and of course Rick. There were more moments between us now, behind closed doors Negan focused everything on me. He was busy still, but he'd catch me in the hallway when I was walking around with Simon or Arat and take me off for a ride or get me drunk in the pool room and carry me upstairs himself.

Negan shed his shirt slowly, still complaining about Rick, but I wasn't listening anymore, too focused on the small scars on his back and chest. His tattoos on his chest were bold against his tanned skin and I felt the glass slipping from my fingers before I got ahold of myself. I blushed and investigated the glass as he caught me staring and gave me a smirk over his shoulder.

"Laney."

"Yeah?" my voice cracked, and I tried to cover it up with a cough.

Negan chuckled low, sitting on the bed behind me and pulling me against his chest. I closed my eyes as he took my drink and relaxed in his arms. The evening light shone through the cracked windows as he laid me down in the bed, covering my neck with kisses and soft bites as I traced over his skin with my fingers. Negan ran a thumb over my lip.

"I wanted to fuck you so bad on the way back from Alexandria, god you were so hot and angry at Rosita. Fucking took over everything, fuck, baby girl."

He slid my belt off easily, holding my hands above my head with one of his even as I struggled. I felt high as Negan undressed me slowly, taking his time in kissing and biting every inch of me he could reach. I could barely think as he whispered low in my ear, fingers sliding down my thighs.

"I want to bend you over and make you scream around my cock. I want you to fucking beg me." He ordered.

It was just like how it used to be, Negan grabbing and fucking me with his tongue as I tried not to cum from him between my legs. Anytime I tried to get him to stop he'd slap the outside of my thigh in warning, before closing his eyes and diving back in like he hadn't eaten in months. And fuck, did it feel good.

"Negan." I whined, feeling my orgasm build up in my stomach, he looked up at me between my legs and smirked, giving me one last lick before getting up and crawling over me.

"Speak only when I tell you to fucking answer." He grabbed my chin, giving me a sloppy kiss as he unzipped his pants, slowly, "Who do you belong to?"

"you."

"No. Who do you belong to?" He growled, giving my ass a slap as he pumped his cock in his hand, letting it rest on my clit as I wiggled in hopes to get him in myself.

"Negan."

"That's fucking right, baby girl." He smiled, kissing me and grabbing a handful of my hair and jerking me back. I stuttered out a response, but he had his fingers in my pussy before I could even comprehend what I was trying to say, "Dirty fucking girl."

"Negan, please."

"No, no…you haven't earned that yet." Negan smiled in my ear as he kept grinding his cock in between my slick lips and pumping me as my eyes rolled into the back of my head. I could tell this wasn't any easier for him by the way his brows were furrowed together in concentration, "You think you can get away with trying to fuck Simon in our bed?"

Wait. What?

I opened my eyes in confusion as Negan shifted us, pulling me off the bed and into the seat Simon had been occupying. He wrapped a large hand around my throat and squeezed gently in warning as I resisted for a second. I slid onto his lap, skin burning beneath my hands as he settled in, cock still hard against my ass.

"He wants you, he's always watching you since that fucking run you two almost died doing. Following you everywhere like a lost puppy. A lot of the men watch you here now…Lieutenant, fuck that. I need them to know you're mine and only mine."

Negan leaned forward, eyes dark and burning as he inhaled deeply, never taking his eyes off me as he traced a finger down my neck and over my collarbone before stopping at my thigh and gently massaging while the other hand was still wrapped around my throat.

"On you knees, Savior." He ordered, letting me go as I slid off and rested in between his open legs, "Show me how much you fucking love this."

He tasted exactly how he looked. Fucking amazing. He let out a low groan, letting the noise vibrate through his body as he filled my mouth. He was hot under my tongue as I stroked what I couldn't fit, and fuck if my mouth watered just at the feeling of his velvet skin sliding in and out of my lips. After a few minutes of him fucking my mouth, one hand fisted in my hair, he pulled me off and tossed me on the bed wordlessly. His belt was wrapped around my waist and his scarf blindfolded me as he raised me up on my hands and knees, giving me a hard spank before lining himself up.

He slid in slow, pausing as I gasped and whined at the feeling of him inside of me. He hadn't fucked since I got back from the cannibals. He set up a fast pace immediately, not bothering to stop as I cried out behind my blindfold at the powerful pace. He grabbed the belt around my waist, using that for leverage as his cock penetrated me from a new angle.

I couldn't think as he leaned over my body, pressing me down into the mattress and bit and sucked at my neck, whispering hot in my ear about how much he fucking loved this, loved watching me bow down to him and submit everything.

I came at that, moaning loudly as my orgasm rushed through me, warming up my own body and feeling like I was vibrating white sparks out of my body. Negan thrust into me three more times before gripping my hips, undoubtedly aiming to leave bruises for me to remember him by and came himself with a low groan.

He pulled out and I let myself go on the bed, curling around myself as the nice burn of sex flowed and ached through my bones. Negan smiled at me, tossing the blindfold on the couch and taking the belt off. He kissed me slowly, allowing me to taste him as much as I wanted before pulling back and rubbing my sore hips softly.

"You'll do good tomorrow, I have faith in you I never had before."

"Maybe…I'd be more confident if someone went with me like Arat or Simon I'd- "

"Fuck Simon."

"Huh?"

Negan got up angrily as I pulled the covers over my body, he was fuming as he grabbed his pants from the floor and slid them back on.

"Negan- "

"No! Every single fucking day I see you two in each other's personal fucking space, laughing and touching each other like no one can see you. All he does is fucking talk about you like I don't know you exist." He grabbed his white shirt and bent down to put on his boots.

I felt dread erase my happy mood as he continued to redress himself and slide a hand through his messed-up hair. I felt the tears well up behind my eyes as my throat tightened. I couldn't…Simon wasn't like that to me. I loved him but not in the way Negan though.

"Negan, please. I didn't know…Simon and I just bonded after- "

"You're fucking mine, Laney." He growled as he retrieved Lucille from the wall, "yet you parade around with him like you fucking belong to him. Apparently, I can't even fuck you without you thinking of him."

He slammed a hand against the bed post and I shrunk back as it shook the bed. He sighed and zipped his jacket up and I wiped the tears from my eyes, letting my hair fall in my face and cut off my sight from him.

"You can leave in the morning. No use sitting around all day taking up space."

The door slammed for the second time that night, but I couldn't bother to react as I cried into the pillow and wished for a thousand meaningless things to happen to me.

I had barely slept at all, and I looked like hell had run over me. I was dressed for a funeral to match what I was feeling as I double checked everything in my bag for the journey. I grabbed my weapons and strapped them around myself as someone knocked on the door and came in.

"You okay?" Simon greeted as I packed extra ammo, "heard you were taking off earlier than planned."

"I'm fine."

I brushed past him coldly, not looking at him as I walked out of the room and into the hall. Simon followed, attempting to talk as I continued. I tuned him out, instead picturing Negan's face in my mind repeatedly, seeing how angry he was. God, it wasn't like that at all. Simon and Negan…for fuck's sake. Finally, as we were about to go onto the catwalk Simon grabbed my shoulder and forced me to look at him, confusion written all over his face.

"What the hell, Laney?"

"Look, I'm sorry but it's best if we don't talk right now alright?" I evaded his stare and turned around again; Simon just huffed in annoyance but followed anyway.

"Okay, but I don't understand what the hell's wrong."

"Whatever."

We came onto the mess hall and I skipped the line for breakfast, feeling to sick to care as I walked outside and felt the cool sun hit my face. It pained me to treat him like this, to feel like I was betraying him in some way, he was my closest friend here, but Negan's words were ringing in my head. The fight was fresh in my mind still and it just…burned.

Negan was already waiting by the truck smoking a cigarette, talking to Jameson as they waited. I didn't say a word to either of them as I threw my bags in the back seat, Negan finally pushed off the car and flicked the stoge away and held the door open behind me, preventing me from closing it.

"You have food in the chest, should last you the two weeks." He offered but I didn't turn around, "Also, I'm sending Jameson with you."

"What?!"

I spun around at that, seeing Jameson looking like he didn't want this either. Negan had an evil smile on his face as he got a reaction out of me.

"No, no fucking way."

"This isn't up for debate. Jameson knows that area pretty well actually, used to be apart of a group way back when around there."

I bit my tongue as anger bubbled up inside of me, I snatched the keys from Negan's hand and hopped up into the truck, revving it to life.

"I'm driving, get the fuck in already." I hissed, and Jameson nodded, walking around as Negan leaned against the door, again, preventing me from slamming it in his face.

"Alright, establish a community and decide whether they're trade worthy or savior worthy. I don't want another fucking Jadis on my hands. Get some shit going if you can build up something there and we'll meet in two weeks if we don't hear from you."

I said nothing, keeping my eyes on the savior gates as Negan waited for an answer. He touched my shoulder and I finally looked at him. He looked tired, like me. But I didn't fucking care.

"I heard you. Now close the fucking door, I have to leave."

He stared at me a second before stepping away and shutting the door for me.

"Laney, you need to be-"

"I got it Negan. Run the fucking community before you get there. See you in two." I interrupted, and Negan barely had time to step back before I floored it and shot through the gates, barely skimming the sides of the truck as we hit the road.

"What the fuck, Melaney!" Jameson yelled, grabbing the dash as I watched sanctuary disappear behind clouds of dust. I relaxed in my seat finally.

"It'll give him something to think about. You got the map?"

Jameson shook his head and mumbled but got the map out anyways. Two weeks away from her seemed horrible last night. Now?

A fucking vacation.