CHAPTER 57 – FINDING ANSWERS WITHIN HER MIND

She held him throughout the night, feeling the warmth of his body infuse itself into her. She had felt cold when they had returned to his room, checking in on Carlie who appeared to be sleeping deeply, and as soon as they had slipped into bed, she had slid up against him, causing him to murmur something sleepily. She let him sleep, he was exhausted and perhaps feeling a little peace for the first time in a long while, but wound herself tightly around him, legs tangled in his and sighed. The cold slowly seeped away and she knew that it had more to do with tangible cold. It was something deep inside her, she had felt it at the same time as the stomach pains and nausea and wondered if it was something to do with her pregnancy, or a more sinister reason.

Part way through the night a little body climbed into bed with them and pushed herself between them, causing a sleepy John to open one eye and smile, seeing the dark hair and blue eyes of Carlie, as she snuggled between them, and looked shyly up at him.

"Scared sweetheart?"

"Cold... cold inside..."

He stilled at this comment. It was an unusual one for someone so young to make and looking down into her eyes he asked quietly.

"Do you feel sick Carlie?"

"Not sick... cold, inside."

He gave himself a mental shake, likely the words had another meaning and he was seeing a more chilling conoctation. When he looked down again, he saw that Gina was also awake and her hand was softly stroking Carlie's face.

"Does it feel like ice melting in your stomach Carlie?" He watched as the little girl nodded, then shot his gaze down to Gina, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Gina? Something I need to know?"

"I felt it too John, when we arrived back here last night. Cold inside, like fingers of ice prickling, then melting. Hard to explain, but it feels like you can't warm up. Funny that we both share the same experience, the same feeling... what does it mean?"

"Hell Gina, I don't now what any of this means. I think the two of you need to talk to Kate tomorrow, and I think perhaps Sam needs to be there as well. She's got a good head that woman, but she thinks outside the box, and much as I hate to admit this, that's the only sort of thinking that's going to work here. I'm struggling sweetheart, and I'm a little scared. Too many unknowns, and now I've got two people I care about and I'm scared I'm going to lose them."

She felt his pain and reached out now to stroke his cheek, just as she had done with Carlie. Carlie she noticed had fallen back asleep and it felt nice to have her small body pushed up between them. It felt right, and without thought she touched her other hand to her stomach, then quickly removed it before John noticed. She needed time to tell him, more time. They needed to find Carlie's story and make peace with that before she added another mystery into the mix.

"Go to sleep John. We'll sort it out, I promise – and I for one aren't going anywhere. And we can only hope the same is true for Carlie. I've grown attached to her in such a short time – I know this is wrong and I can't help myself. There is a connection there, and I'm terrified too, that if it gets broken, what happens to us. Somehow John, the three of us are bound together. Brought together for a reason. To be a family for a start, then something else..."

"Gina...?" John's voice was soft now, not wanting to wake Carlie.

"Hmmm?" She was getting sleepy and had to force herself to answer him. Sleep claimed her though and she missed his reply.

"I think I've fallen in love with you..." and he smiled as he heard her breathing deepen. Ok then, so the earth did not shatter when I made that announcement, and the world did not end. Love? Wow, sprung that one on yourself Sheppard, didn't you...

The morning brought normal – more or less. Cold feelings gone, smiles and a little bit more food staying down than previously. So yeah, more or less normal. He walked them to Kate's office and they met Sam there. John had asked if he could be present as well and Gina felt some trepidation at this, worried that something would come out that she was not ready to air yet. But could not think of a reasonable explanation as to why he should not be there. Carlie seemed to trust him and be comfortable with him and that enabled her to make the decision. What would be, would be.

Sam and John kept to the background, simply there as observers during this session. Sam particularly wanted to try and make the connection with the dimensional issue. She was resolved now, in working through Rodney's research and felt more strongly than ever, that the portal if indeed it did exist, needed to be closed. But not before they found out Carlie's story and whether she would be able to exist as a fully functioning person in this particular dimension – without their being implications in either one.

Kate talked a little while with Carlie, working to make her feel comfortable in her presence and easing out some of the information that was stored on the surface. They learnt that wherever Carlie came from, mirrored Atlantis – more or less. John and Sam shared a look. It appeared that another field trip to the mainland would be needed, and they would have to take Carlie with them to find where she was getting through. As indeed it was rapidly becoming something that was no longer a theory, it looked as though it was a probability.

John murmured to Sam, deliberately keeping his voice pitched low so that the other three females on the other side of the room would not hear him.

"What do you think of her answers Sam? Something seems a little off to me – it's almost as though she says them by rote... or am I being paranoid?"

"You're right John. The answers are a little too neat and tidy. As though they are sitting there catalogued in her mind ready to be accessed at the right time. That does not seem consistent with how a six year old would impart information. At least, a six year old from earth, anyway. It could be that her mind works a little differently. But like you, I am picking up something."

She signalled to Kate now and the woman understood at once. They had a prearranged signal. If Sam felt that they weren't getting the answers they needed, then Kate was to try hypnosis. It seemed a kinder way to attempt to extract the information, especially if it had been buried deeply. This was less instrusive to the person trying to retrieve the memory as they could be pulled out quickly and easier if they showed signs of distress. Gina looked up sharply, seeing the interaction between Kate and the two who kept their distance on the other side of the room and did not appreciate being left out of the loop.

"John?" She turned to look at him, and raised her eyebrow questioningly. He wanted to look away at what he saw in her eyes, but made himself walk over to her and lay a hand on her shoulder.

"We want to try hypnosis. There's something there, and it's buried. We need to be able to access it, and hypnosis gives us a safe platform to do that. Kate?"

"He's right Gina. I'm trained in this, so can make it simple and painless for Carlie – and of course you'll be right there with her if she does show signs of any distress. I can pull her out in seconds if need by. Ok?"

Gina looked down at the little girl and saw the innocence in the blue eyes, then without warning the cold fingers clutched painfully at her stomach and she bent forward, gasping for breath, seeing Carlie mirror her actions slightly as though she felt the tendrils herself.

"Gina, honey?" John dropped down beside her and forced her head up, needing to see her face. "The same pains as yesterday?"

She nodded. "With that same cold I felt last night. Inside. Just like Carlie. What's going on? Carlie? You feel it too... do you know what it is?"

The little girl looked back at her with large blue eyes, eyes so like her own and involuntarily she shivered, reaching for John's hand to clutch it tightly for a few moments, before letting it go.

"Carlie? You'd tell me if you knew what it was? Wouldn't you?" Carlie said nothing, but her eyes shifted slightly away from Gina leaving her with the feeling that something else had entered the little girl and she was not the same person they found yesterday. Something had changed inside her. She felt John stiffen beside her and wondered if he had sensed it also.

"Kate? Go ahead with the hypnosis. Carlie, sweetheart? I'll be right here beside you – if you feel scared in any way, squeeze my hand tight and we'll get you out – ok?"

John prowled restlessly around the room while Kate took her under and watched as Gina held her stomach. He worried about whatever was happening with her and acknowledged that the pains had begun from the time that she met the girl for the first time. He needed to monitor her carefully and if he saw that things were worsening he would have to get her away from Carlie – as hard as that would be for the two of them. He couldn't have Gina's health deteriotating because of something that reacted with Carlie and he would protect her whether she wanted him to or not.

Kate took her through a series of base questions to establish the depth of her functionality under the hynosis. Her answers were clear and still appeared stilted and with a glance at John, Kate took her under deeper, much deeper than she would normally a child that young. A safeguard had been set up in this child's mind – this much had become obvious and Kate needed to know just how deeply that safeguard had been buried.

Carlie immediately showed agitation at this depth and her small body began to convulse slightly. Gina became alarmed and started to push up from the couch, but John moved beside her and put hands gently onto her shoulders, anchoring her there. He dropped down beside her and murmured into her ear. "Sshh, it's ok. She's not in pain, she's resisting whatever has been implanted in her. I think she wants to tell us but someone or something has already given her clear instructions. We need to get past those walls that they have put up to protect the knowledge."

"Who John? Who would do that?" He had pulled her back against him and cradled her now, his own hands resting on her stomach and she felt a moments panic, as if he had sensed the new life there.

"Whoever is in charge of where she came from. I think she has been sent here Gina – to meet you, and to meet me. Perhaps she has a message for us, perhaps they want us for another reason – whatever it is, they've used her to get to us."

Kate probed deeper and at last sensed a crack in the walls, but she also saw that she was beginning to cause the little girl some pain. Gina pushed away from John now.

"Enough! That's enough – both of you. Can't you see what you're doing to her? You're crazy! You talk about something controlling her, sending her here with an agenda. She's just a little girl. She means us no harm – damnit, she lost her parents. Maybe we are all she has left."

Sam stepped forward seeing that John was losing control of her and needing the session to continue. "Gina, you need to calm down or I'll have to ask you to leave. If there's a chance she is holding this base at risk, we need to know. You're too close to her now, and you refuse to see that there could be a negative side to all this. That is exactly the thinking I can't allow. I know she's a little girl – but ask John about a mission that went horribly wrong in Afghanistan. She was just a little girl too – and killed several soldiers because she had been programmed to do just that. Children are used all the time in battle – it is horrible and cruel but it is a fact of life. If you're going to live here – in the Pegasus galaxy, you need to toughen up and see that not all people are good. There is a lot of bad out there, and here, the same as anywhere else, you'll see it in spades. And in the least likely places."

"I won't sit here and watch you do that to a child. Damn it, I won't!" If she could have taken Carlie with her she would have, but it would have been dangerous to remove her while still under hypnosis, so for now she trusted that they would bring her out, but she refused to stay in the room with them any longer. "Do your stupid experiment, but if you hurt that child in any way, I will not forgive any of you."

She slapped John's restraining hands away and tears now running down her cheeks she ran out of the room and headlong into Major Lorne who had come looking for her, intent of starting his end of the bargain – weapons training.

"Hey, Gina... slow down. What's wrong?"

"Using a child, that's what's wrong. Accusing others of doing the same thing that they are. Hell, I want to hit something right now. If you put a gun into my hand right now Major Lorne, I don't think anyone on this base will be particularly safe."

"Hey, calm down. Let's walk a little and you can tell me what's got you so fired up. We'll not put a weapon into your hand until you're a little calmer I think..."

He steered her away down the hallway, tossing a look over his shoulder as he saw the Colonel come to the door of Kate's office and stare broodingly after them. And wondered just what had been going on in there. He suspected it was something to do with the girl they had brought back. The city had been buzzing with the news, especially as it appeared that no one knew where she had come from, and even some rumours that she was not from this dimension – whatever the hell that meant! Lorne was a military man and thought in black and white, not shades of gray, so such a thing didn't seem likely. But something had gone down in that room and Gina was upset so he did his best to get her away from the situation and the angry face of the Colonel who she obviously needed some distance from right now.