Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. If I did, I wouldn't have made this story.

A/N: I'd like to thank the people who were very kind enough to review. I am very happy for all those positive feedbacks and thank you SO much to my amazing BETAs who helped me with my flaws, clarinet-alto-4ever and FeartheOrdinary. Enjoy. :)

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Chapter 2: Back at the Burrow

What would happen if life suddenly pulled you into something that you never really thought was real and then pushed you out of it with no idea what to do next?

These were my thoughts while staring at the ceiling. It had already been two weeks after the burials. So many people had died and I had been there to give all of them a proper goodbye. It was really hard on my part, since it was my fault after all. Then again, the warm and comforting hands of Hermione and Ron helped me get through it all. Hermione kept telling me that it was not my fault, that they fought for what they believed in, and they all knew what they had signed up for when they joined the battle. But as much as she tried to make some sense of it all, I didn't really feel that way.

When I thought of how tiny Colin looked when he died, how Remus and Tonks looked like they were just asleep, or how people cried when they gave their loved ones their last farewell, it sent shivers down my spine and a feeling of regret welled in the pit of my stomach.

A week and a half ago, Hermione and Ron fought, leaving me miserable as I watched them. I never did anything to stop it. After all, they both had a few points that needed to be considered. Up until this day, they hadn't talked to each other. Hermione wanted to find her parents, and Ron didn't want her to leave just yet. I agreed with him; it was still dangerous for her to leave the country by herself. Ron was still a bit overprotective with his loved ones, especially since he lost his brother. I could only imagine how it felt. But then, if I was in Hermione's place, I would have wanted to see my family too, to go home to their comfort. Still, I couldn't really take any side at all. So when Ron asked me if I would allow her, I knew that I just had to trust her in this, no matter how it would hurt for her to leave. She knew what she was doing, and as much as I wanted to protect her too, I also knew how strong-willed she was. So, I let her go, after making her promise that she'd come back safely. Ron sulked at me, but I told him that I would also want to see my family if I was in her shoes.

Half a week later, she left for Australia and didn't tell Ron about it, which made him extremely angry. He thought it was stupid for her to leave when everything was still out of place and even told me that only a nutter would travel alone, especially while some Death Eaters had still evaded capture.

Our lives were pretty much lived by trying to pretend that everything was bloody normal. The Burrow had become very quiet lately, too quiet for my taste. Mr. Weasley had started working again, trying to assist Kingsley in every way possible in rebuilding the Ministry. Mrs. Weasley would often go out to help as well, seeing that even the Burrow couldn't really keep her busy. I would always try to help her, but I guess she really didn't want help. I planned to return to Grimmauld Place when everything was settled, when I knew that at least, they would be okay. Bill and Fleur had already returned to Shell Cottage. Ron told me that Bill was now currently assisting the Ministry by destroying wards and curses that were set up during Voldemort's reign. Charlie already went back to Romania, and Percy, well, Percy was now trying to give Kingsley all the support he could. Ron had been keeping himself busy by helping George with the shop, so he only came home for about three days a week. I also went there and helped whenever I could. And Ginny had been spending her time with Luna that I hardly saw her in the house at all, except for perhaps, when it was time to eat.

Ginny. I have been thinking about my relationship with her ever since everything started to settle down. Days after the war, we both agreed we needed time and space to realize what we really were to each other. We were great friends, but I don't know if it would be okay to resume the same position in each other's lives. I was very relieved that even when we had that talk, we were still pretty much comfortable being around each other afterwards. Sometimes, she would tell me what was bothering her, and I would try to give some brotherly comfort and advice when I could. I tried to do everything in my power to make her feel better.

I sighed. I really didn't know why I felt that things weren't like the way they were before. Funny, I didn't feel butterflies fluttering in my stomach every time I looked at her, couldn't feel the electricity that I always felt when we touched. I realized that she needed someone to understand what she was going through right now, and I knew it would never be someone like me who could give her that. She was a strong girl, I knew that much. It was the very reason why I fancied her. But I knew she also needed someone to lean on during this hard time. Somehow, I couldn't give it to her because a part of me also needed someone to understand, someone with the knowledge of what I have been through to comfort me, and be there. But I never could say that to anyone.

I guess now that the war was over; things would never be the same. And as much as I feared that change, life had already set it into motion. My best friends would now try to go on with their lives . . . move on. They would try to pursue their dreams, and we would have to go on our separate ways. Sooner or later, I would also have to step aside and let them live their lives in peace for once, a life without the threat of death. And still, whenever I thought about what happened before, when I saw those dead people in the Great Hall, it sent chills down my spine.

I closed my eyes in silent reminiscence; I could still remember that day clearly as if it happened yesterday. . .

The hall was filled with an air of death and despair. I halted, making Hermione and Ron worry. We found Ron in an empty corridor near the Great Hall. He looked like a mess with his tear-streaked, red eyes with an equally red face. He looked so lost, like he had lost his very soul, a walking shell. We went towards him and tried to comfort him, failing miserably to do so. I remained there, shocked, and I didn't do or think of anything.

I tried to look around, tried to see what was going on, letting myself believe that maybe, just maybe, this was just a figment of my imagination. But when I saw the flaming red hair of the Weasley family still gathered around Fred's broken body, I had to surrender to the truth. There was so much pain was looming around every corner.

Why did life had to be cruel to those who were good? It should have been me who died! Not Fred, Moody, Tonks, Remus, nor anybody else. They had suffered so much, only to be rewarded with death. It wasn't fair.

Tears began to fall from my eyes, I let out a sob with such magnitude that I never had before. I cried like a helpless child as my feelings suddenly burst forth. Warm hands enveloped my wretched form; Hermione and Ron were hugging me as stood there and cried.

Hermione muttered incomprehensible words of comfort while Ron just stood there silently, holding us close as the echoes of his own sobs joined the others in this forlorn Hall. I silently allowed the tears to flow. I didn't even know what I was doing.

"I can't even tell you how it feels like right now. So many people are dead because of me! Because I was too weak to defeat him. Because I was not smart enough to figure out what Dumbledore had tried to tell me sooner! I was willing to –"

"Don't say that Harry! You have no idea what it felt like when we saw your body in Hagrid's arms! You have no idea how we lost our will to fight. If it wasn't for Neville, we would've just surrendered. You're still here for a reason, and you should be thankful that you still have your life to live. I know it hurts, but you need to be strong for them, for your parents, for us!"

I looked into her eyes. In those brown orbs, and I could see pure, grateful relief and sincerity that we were still here, alive. I only nodded at her sentence. It felt a little better that someone gave me the encouragement and a will to move on. And that made me realize that I needed to be strong for the two of them. They fought beside me and trusted me, even when I didn't even know what I was fighting for anymore.

As I looked at the two of them, I wore a short smile as I wiped away the tears on my face. And then, I laughed at the absurdity of it all. "I am sorry mate; I should be the one comforting you right now."

When we finally started walking again, I saw them, holding hands as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders. I stopped as I suddenly felt out of place, like I didn't belong with them anymore. This brought a weird feeling at the pit of my stomach that I couldn't decipher, but I tried to ignore it at that moment; Ron needed me.

When I realized that I had been going through this particular scene over and over again, I shook my head to shake it off. For now, I had cast those unknown feelings aside. Was I jealous now that I knew they were officially together? That they fought like an old married couple? Really, I didn't even know what these feelings meant. I needed to get back on track. Kingsley had offered us a position in the Auror Training Program that he supervised directly, and I planned to accept. Hermione was planning to go back to Hogwarts to finish her final year and Ron said he wanted to help George get the shop up and running again before he decided on the matter. So for now, I knew I had to make some decisions for myself.

I finally decided to spend time with my Godson, Teddy Lupin. Maybe I could even be the one who would take care of him, if Andromeda would permit it. I am sure that Sirius would have wanted me to do that, as well as Lupin. Funny, when I thought about my experiences back in the tent, I never even thought about the future, because I knew that I still had a battle to fight.

And now it had come to this.

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A/N: Sorry that the chapter was mostly made up of Harry's thoughts. Please R&R! :)