Disclaimer: I don't own HP.

A/N: Well, here is the next chapter. I want to thank my awesome BETA, FeartheOrdinary, who managed to turn this chapter magical. Enjoy reading! :)

-x-

Chapter 4: Realizations

A few weeks after my nightmare, many others continued to haunt me . . . and I finally had enough and decided that I should take a Dreamless Sleep Potion.

Kingsley had visited me a few days previously and told me that my Auror Training would start in early August. It seemed as if I would be forced to go back to Hogwarts for the first year, along with a few others. He said that I would have to learn advanced magic and duel with instructors before he could take me into the Advanced Program for Trainees that was located in the Ministry.

Grimmauld Place was also shaping up the way I wanted it to be. After forcing Ron to go shopping with me in Diagon Alley and some muggle shops, I finally decided on how I wanted the house to look. I spent countless times trying to budget the gold that Sirius had left me and the gold that was in my parent's vault. I knew it was enough to let me live for many years without work, but I also wanted to save it for the future. Ron and Luna decided to help with the renovation; it made me grateful for the company that they provided after so much isolation. Everyone had been busy with their lives that I realized, I also had to move on and stand on my own two feet.

Ron had been very enthusiastic with giving me a hand because of the short vacation that George gave him. It seemed that he was finally trying to stand back up after Fred's untimely death. He was excited and wanted to help plan everything with me. . But what made me smirk was that I noticed that he was getting closer to a certain blond-haired witch these days.

The following days had been busy for the three of us. Without Hermione here, we were forced to read books and learn spells that would help us with various household chores. It was also a bit difficult dealing with so many Permanent Sticking Charms that we had to rid ourselves of. Luna amusingly told us stories about various creatures that lurk within the cabinets and rooms and Ron seemed very interested and enthusiastic about her stories. Ginny came around a few times, but always left pretty early.

The elves were also a great help. After I told them about the rules I had set up, Winky and Kreacher had been more enthusiastic with the chores. Both of them helped us in removing the frame of Walburga Black. Kreacher seemed hesitant at first, but I told him that he could keep it. Because of this, we found out that elf magic could remove the Permanent Sticking Charm that had been such a pain in our arse. At first, Ron was shocked to see Winky in Grimmauld; he even told me that Hermione would kill me once she was back. But he warmed up to the idea and was enjoying the company of the elf because she served warm food and company.

A week after our cleaning begun, Grimmauld Place looked cozy enough to live in. The long hallways that were visible after opening the front door were now lit by bright lamps that Ron had picked. They gave the hallways a decent, refreshing look. The wallpapers and carpets were replaced with new ones and the walls have been painted with a white canvas. Pictures of all sorts hung neatly on the walls. Mrs. Black's portrait was replaced by a huge picture of the First and Second Order of the Phoenix. The troll umbrella stand was also removed and replaced by a wooden rectangular one.

The dining room has also been renovated. The long wooden table where the Order usually held their meetings and dinner was replaced by a glass table which could hold up to twelve people, and could be charmed to hold quite a few more. There were also black chairs that matched the pristine look of the table. The dresser holding the Black family crest was now painted in white, and the walls were lined with a light green canvas with trees that contained white flowers, after I remembered the white roses that Hermione had put on my parent's graves.

At the end of the hallway, the stairs that lead to the upper floors were now decorated with lights that hung neatly on Gryffindor-colored walls. There was now a cupboard under the stairs that Ron and I made so that the elves could have a decent room. There, Kreacher shrunk Mrs. Black's portrait and covered it with a cloth so that it would not produce any sort of noise that would startle us. White walls hung on the walls inside the cupboard and two little white beds were covered in green and pink blankets and pillows, respectively. Two little dressers with outfits were also handpicked for both of them.

On the first landing, two rooms were also renovated. The drawing room was now made into an office, or rather, a miniature library. Its walls were covered by books and some framed pictures, and painted in Gryffindor colors. The bedroom that was once shared by Hermione and Ginny was now a guest room with white and blue colors, picked by Ron and Luna. The bathroom was made into a shower room, surrounded by light green tiles.

Ron chose the other bedroom on the second floor. It also has a Gryffindor-themed walls and loads of different pictures hung across the walls of the room along with the posters of the Chudley Cannons. I never did interrupt a busy Ron when he was decorating the place so I never saw how it turned out afterwards.

On the third floor, the room were Arthur and Molly had slept was now Hermione's. We have painted it white for now and we decided that it would be for her to choose what she would do with it. Fred and George's former room was now adorned with green and white walls and would become a guest room until further notice. I wanted to make it Teddy's room in the future.

Sirius' bedroom was cleaned and the bikini-clad muggle women that hung from its walls were removed. I also hung some pictures on the walls. We casted some repairing charms inside the room and I put all my belongings there, but never got the chance to put any decorations up yet. Regulus' room was also refurbished. We removed all the newspaper clippings and placed them on an enlarged broom cupboard that we made into a storage room. For now, only the master bedroom remained untouched.

Now, after days of hard work, Ron and I were resting on the living room. We finally finished what we ought to do and were done for the day. Luna had already said goodbye to us, because she had an urgent family business to attend to, one that involved chasing after Crumpled Horned Snorkacks and the like.

Silence enveloped the room for a while before Ron finally cleared his throat and spoke, "Hermione owled mom, she said she will be back in two weeks."

I shifted my gaze to the fireplace, just the thought that she would be back made me a bit jumpy. I tried to look nonchalant and gave a small smile. "Really? Great then, we can let her decide on the decorations of her the room."

He chuckled at me as he examined the fruits of our work. The house has been better now that you wouldn't even realize that it once belonged to a pureblood family. It was very calm and friendly. I had a satisfied smile; I guess she would like it here.

For a while, I tried to imagine how she would react to the change once she was back, and my gaze darted to Ron's lanky form. Somehow, disappointment gnawed on my insides when I realized that she hadn't told that me she was coming back. I felt jealous.

"H-have you been in touch with Hermione while she was away?" I asked, my heart skipping a beat at the mention of her name. Thinking about it, why did I feel jealous of her relationship with Ron? Why did I feel like I had to go through him to find out about her?

He shook his head at me and his blue eyes suddenly looked distant again. "No. I haven't received any letter from her, nor have I written one."

His gaze drifted away as a tinge of sadness and disappointment covered his blue eyes. With a sigh, he turned his eyes to me and said, "I don't know Harry, why was it always so hard for her to understand me? I was only worried about her and the Death Eaters were still on the loose! Couldn't she comprehend that with her brilliant brain of hers?"

I fiddled with my hands and tried to avoid looking at him. "I know. But sometimes, you also have to try and understand her, even if she doesn't understand you. You've known Hermione for 7 years now; she was your best friend then. Now, someone so much more, you have to let her make her own decisions and support her, respect her."

I slumped back on my seat and looked at Ron's dumbfounded expression. I knew he meant well and he loved Hermione, but there were times that he had to learn. With a sigh, I shifted from my seat and looked at my hands. . .thinking about the past.

"When I thought about her sacrifice just because of this bloody war, I thought about how it must be hard for her to sit here and wait knowing that her parents didn't even know that they had a daughter."

I looked at Ron and somehow, willed him to understand. "We should understand that it's her duty as their daughter to restore the life they once had."

His lips quirked into an awkward smile as he said, "I guess so."

For a while, I thought about what I just said and when I finally faced Ron, his eyes were now bright with understanding. He realized that I was looking at him and he placed a hand on my shoulders as I searched his face for any emotion that would suggest that I shouldn't have said anything. "Thanks for the advice, mate. I'll do my best to understand her here on out."

He smiled at me and I returned the favor as I gave him a masculine hug.

But deep inside, even though my advice was sincere, I was having a hard time accepting that she was Ron's girlfriend. There was this feeling I couldn't decipher, something that I didn't grasp yet. "You have to, Hermione deserves as much. Whether you like it or not, she has been the foundation of the trio. Please, take care of her, Ron, she means so much to me."

More than you think, more that you will ever know.

Without Hermione, I doubt if Ron and I would have made it. Without her, I don't think I would've survived living in that tent alone. Without her, I would have been dead or tortured now; I could have been Voldemort's slave.

"I promise you, I will try my best. And er – I'm sorry that you and my sister didn't work out. I mean, she is still your friend. She handled it all pretty well."

I nodded at him and awkward silence resumed once again. I found myself looking at the few details inside the room. Finally, Ron broke the silence, which was too uncomfortable for him to bear. "I was wondering Harry, what will you do after all of this? You know, have you decided to go for Kingsley's proposal?" I nodded.

"I guess. . . But it would be difficult because he decided that I should go back to Hogwarts, you know, training and stuff. According to him, it'll be better to train and be taught by the professors at the school, now that only a few students planned to go back, than to wait idly for our 'mess of a Ministry' to repair itself."

I found myself chuckling at the thought. Even though Kingsley was now Minister of Magic, he still thought that his Ministry was a mess. "How about you? Have you decided to take the Auror training?"

Ron looked at me and I saw the hesitation in his eyes, like he was trying to keep something from me. "Er –– I decided to take it when George can take care of himself."

"Oh –"

He gave a small laugh as he examined his wand. "I reckon it would be a while before I decided on the matter. How long would you be staying at Hogwarts?"

"I reckon I will be there until the end of April. After that, I have to go do fieldwork and cases."

Kreacher suddenly shouted 'dinner' and I stood up, only to be pulled back into the couch again. Irritated, I looked at him with a glare but my irritation vanished when I felt his sudden uneasiness. "What's wrong?"

"Harry, can I ask you something? Please take care of Luna while you're at Hogwarts. I know you'll watch out for Hermione and Ginny but please look after her too. When I was grieving Fred's death, she was there."

While I was waiting for him to continue, Ron played with his hands as he thought of the things he wanted to say. His mouth opened and closed, as if he was trying to force out words and his eyes were thoughtful. Even the muscles on his jaws tightened when he tried to speak. "I know I could've relied on you guys but I didn't want to burden you. I know you lost just as much. She's like a sister to me. I don't know, I just feel overprotective of her for some reason, just like I am with Hermione."

I think it was a while before I finally came into terms with what he just said. I smiled warmly at him and nodded. "Sure thing, mate. Luna is my friend too, and a wonderful one at that."

Ron chuckled nervously. "As much as I love Hermione, I can share some things with Luna that I can't seem to with Hermione."

With a sigh, I nodded at him. I felt a bit hurt with what he had said… but truthfully, I understood what he felt. My heart then gave a loud thud in my chest as I tried to put my own request into words.

"Ron? I want you to take care of Hermione, too, er – love her …be there for her."

I suddenly felt my heart break at the mention of those words.

That night, while I getting ready for bed, images of Hermione kissing with Ron during the war flashed repeatedly on my mind. For some reason, it hurt a lot and I kept dying at the thought that she and Ron were together.

And then . . .I reminisced.

I had never thought of these things but Ron's words shook me. I didn't think I was only getting overprotective of Hermione, I just had to make sure that she was happy with him. Even though I was reluctant, I know I had to give them my blessing. They were my best friends, they deserve as much from me, after all that they've been through. . .that we'd been through. But, I was hurt every time Ron told me that he loved her. It caused me pain to hear those words.

And then, I realized what those feelings really held.

Hermione has been there for me, and these feelings were the actual proof of what she was in my life. With that, I mused more…

I was happy knowing that she was always there, and that she had always been there for me… and I couldn't find it in myself to let her go. During my first year, I had always been awed because she knew so much; she had always saved our skins with her brilliance.

As I closed my eyes, her words echoed in my mind. "Books! And cleverness! There are more important things — friendship and bravery and — oh Harry — be careful!"

Every year, Hermione always worked out a plan but then, seeing her petrified form in second year was a dreadful memory. I remembered how I had held her hand when I was completely helpless, and how I wished that she was there with us. She would always give me strength. And even when I thought that it was up to Ron and me to solve the riddle, it was her who helped us in the end. I could still feel the relief I felt when she ran towards me screaming, "You solved it! You solved it!"

When Sirius was about to receive the Dementor's Kiss, it was her again, it had been her all along, who saved my life. Without her, I would never have had the chance to know the only family member that I never knew I had, and I would also never have had experienced his love, no matter how short-lived it was. For a while, I stared at the picture on my bedside table, the one which only had the both of us, and took it.

The year it was taken was not a good memory for me. As I remembered how shocked I was when my name was mentioned in the Goblet of Fire, it was her who remained when everyone else turned their backs against me. She was and had always been my rock, the one who constantly gave her best just to try and help me out. My hand suddenly touched my cheek and a goofy smile erupted from my lips when I remembered her kiss on my cheek.

When I put the picture back to the bedside table, I recounted the anguish I felt when I didn't believe in her during our fifth year. It caused me a lot of reasons to be angry of myself afterwards, if only I had listened to her. And still, even when she knew deep inside that I was wrong, she still followed me and I couldn't breathe when I saw her lying on the floor, after Dolohov has cursed her.

But even with these memories, I smiled at myself when I heard Cho's words echoing in my head; DA was darling Hermione's idea, wasn't it? And it was brilliant.

I flopped back on the bed and I put my hands on my eyes, laughing as I remembered some moments that I shared with her. When we were alone in the wilderness and I was totally unsure of what I should do, she didn't leave me. And who has been with me when I first visited my parent's grave? Her.

It was her. It had been her all along, and my heart couldn't deny it any longer.

I am in love with Hermione Granger.

-x-

A/N: I hope you enjoyed the chapter! R&R, you opinions matter. :)