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Chapter 8: A Thousand Emotions

Someone told me once, that when the heart made its judgment, whatever your mind would say, do or think about, it would never change the subtle way it has finalized its decision. You could never run nor hide. And even when you want to try to move on, accept that things were not meant to be, apparently, the feelings just couldn't stop.

The next days were a breeze for me and Hermione. Although we were always woken up by Teddy's loud screams, we always made it through the day with smiles on our faces. Hermione set up a daily routine in order for us to have rest in the evening because Teddy always kept us preoccupied every day. My little Godson always knew how to make us smile and laugh, despite the bloody hell he has to put us through sometimes. I guess that it was a part of it and frankly, it made the experience better.

Every day was fun, peaceful and happy, the way I wanted my life to be. We took turns in taking care of Teddy, bathe him, feed him and make him smile, lull him to sleep. . . I learned a lot of things about children and frankly, I couldn't wait to have my own child someday. I know it would be able to give that child all the love that I could give. And even if it was still surreal, even if I am afraid, I wanted to show my child all the things I would've wanted to experience with my parents.

Not only did I learn a lot about my Godchild, I also learned many things from Hermione. Every day, I would discover some things she liked or disliked, things that I did not notice before. We would watch a movie together at the muggle cinema during our free time and sometimes, I would teach her how to cook. We would clean up the house together and there was a time that we fell asleep in each other's arms because Teddy kept us awake the whole night. In her arms I felt secured that even the bloody nightmares would leave me. Every day, I loved her more.

Only a few weeks and then this usual routine would come into an end. I would have to return to Hogwarts sooner than her and she would to spend her time with her family and maybe. . .Ron. They finally talked about it because of Ron's insistence more than anything else. But even with all of it, Hermione still decided that she would want to spend her vacation here. Ron only visited once, due to my request that they talk. In that occasion, I didn't know what I should say to him but kept my cool, he was after all my best friend and I have to support them both. If this was the way to make them both happy, I would willingly make the sacrifice. Even if it hurt, I wanted Hermione to be happy and to always wear a smile on her face. We talked about what Ron did when he was away and how everyone was and lastly, Mrs. Weasley's request to celebrate my birthday at the Burrow. I had no choice but to accept the offer because of her plead and frankly, I think I had isolated myself enough from them, I already miss them.

But during these days, Hermione would do the usual routine in the morning before disappearing to go somewhere, sometimes would only leave a paper telling me that she would be back in an hour or two and there were times that she would come back late. I did not bother to ask where she went because I didn't want to act like an overly protective brother. In the events that she was not home, I would take the opportunity to take Teddy on a stroll around a neighboring park or just play with him inside the house.

Sometimes, I would also ask Winky to sneak and buy me a Dreamless Potion while there was opportunity. But nowadays, I found it hard to take one with her in the house so I ended up casting a silencing spell in my room. The thing was, I always ended waking Teddy up and making him cry. It was really hard but I still didn't want Hermione to know. After the incident that happened, I think she completely forgot about the potion and I just couldn't stand worrying her about my bloody nightmares.

The day of the reunion has come very quickly and I was very distracted when I noticed Hermione's seemingly pale appearance and the dark circles around her eyes before she left this morning. What has she been doing that would make her look like this? I wanted to know but I shut my mouth, whatever it was, I trust that she knew what she was doing. Maybe I could finally ask her when we return to Grimmauld, if she ever returned to Grimmauld after this evening.

While waiting for her to arrive together with Andromeda, I took care of everything that I needed to do and gave Teddy his bath. After making sure he was ready to go, I told Winky and Kreacher to take care of him while I get ready myself. The elves were already in their jumpers and hats, very excited to be a part of the very first celebration that they would be a part of.

When Hermione arrived, she covered my eyes and apparated, leaving me looking like a bewildered little kid while she laughed. I could feel the embarrassment creeping on my cheeks because I figured out that there will be a kind of surprise waiting for me when I get to the Burrow, sure enough, I was right.

I was overwhelmed to see all my friends, the Weasleys, Kingsley, Headmistress McGonagall, Hagrid, Neville, Luna, Xenophilius, Fleur's sister Gabrielle, former D.A. members and everyone I knew and love waiting for me inside the magically extended dining area that was full of food. They started singing happy birthday when we arrived and Hermione was the one who brought me a snitch-figured cake.

No words could express the feelings I had that time. Maybe it was because although we lost so many people we love, people that could never be here again to celebrate my birthday, there were still new beginnings that were presented. I just wish that they were here to celebrate this with me. When I saw Hagrid talking to the elves, Mrs. Weasley protesting about Bill's long hair, Fleur playing with baby Teddy while having a conversation with Andromeda, Hermione having a chat with Ginny and Luna and everyone that I loved. . .happy and safe was enough to make this birthday a special one.

But even while the celebration was on-going, I took the time to slip away and went at the backyard. While it was comforting for me to hear the lively noise inside the Burrow again, there were those times that I wanted to just be with myself and enjoy the peacefulness brought by the night by looking at the stars and the sky. Things have been very peaceful for me these past few weeks. I enjoyed the company of a few good friends and the comforts of my new home. But now, I think it was time to face the world and move forward, decide what to do and –

"Hey". I stopped and looked as Ginny Weasley closed the door and went to sit beside me.

"Hey". I said back, wondering why she was here at the same time, happy, because I was able to see her again.

"I was kind of worried when I noticed you were missing on your own party. What brings you outside? Was the place too cramped or was it because you're not enjoying?" Ginny smirked, obviously curious why I was here by myself.

I shook my head with a smile. She knew fully well that I was enjoying. "I errr, just wanted to breathe some fresh air and enjoy the peacefulness of the night". Somehow, I am a bit scared to have a one on one conversation with Ginny. She was my ex-girlfriend and I know I hurt her when we called it off.

"I see, so, how are you doing? You have been gone from the world for a long time that every witch and wizard is aching to know what is up with the conqueror of Lord Voldemort."

With a soft sigh, I looked above. "Well, I think I am doing all right. Hermione has helped me a lot with Teddy this past few weeks and I am slowly being able to catch up. You?"

I caught a glimpse of sadness in her eyes but it vanished as quickly as it came as she replaced it with a thoughtful gaze."I am fine, things are returning to their almost normal state. And I know you understand that there are things that I really miss."

She looked at me with such depth in her eyes that I was unable to suppress my feelings of guilt because of the end of our relationship. "Ginny, I am sorry. I know that it is my fault that our relationship didn't work. I am sorry that I became a bloody git that you didn't deserve."

She stopped for a while, undoubtedly trying to process what I said. "Harry, it's ok. You shouldn't feel bad about it. If we continued a relationship that your heart was not willing to take, I guess the results would be the same, only a bit more hurtful. I am also sorry that I wasn't able to understand what you needed. I think it was better this way, we're more than friends, we're siblings. It will be enough for me than to know we're nothing to each other at all.

I was extremely grateful that Ginny was an understanding person. I know that we didn't have the chance to know each other well enough like I knew Ron or Hermione but she was someone I could trust with my life. Yeah, she was like my sister and I care about her. "Sorry for being a bloody bastard. . .and thank you for understanding that there were things that I couldn't open up."

"You're really a great person Harry. You know, I fancied you because of who you are but I loved you because of your unwavering love and devotion for the people you care about. And it made me a lucky person to have Harry Potter notice me as someone special, even if it only lasted for awhile." I smiled genuinely at her and. . .kissed her on the cheeks.

"I don't regret it too."

"Well, the girl who will have your heart will be one of the luckiest one. I hope you find her soon." I already did.

A call inside the house startled both of us as it became louder. Ginny smiled at me and kissed me back, one last kiss, I thought, before she stood up.

"Looks like we have to go inside, we don't want to cause unnecessary attention just because we disappeared." I nodded at her and she extended her hand to me and I took it as she gave me a genuine smile.

When we arrived inside, everyone was already at the living room and the only one who was not there was Hagrid.

"There you are Harry, I was looking all over for ye. We will begin the gift giving soon. Hermione organized this eventCome 'ere, everyone is waitin'." I looked at Ginny who seemed content as she smiled at me and went ahead before I followed Hagrid as he headed down to where everyone was.

When we arrived at the living room, everyone was looking at me with anticipation, smiles were on their faces as their eyes shined. Neville suddenly went towards me, a gift in hand.

"Hi Harry, I hope you will be able to enjoy this simple gift from me and Gran". He gave me a small package that was wrapped in blue. Hagrid came next, surprisingly, he gave me a book about advanced spells to conquer dark arts. Almost everyone came to give their gifts to me afterwards. McGonagall gave me a wand kit, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley gave me a sweater that contains a print of a snitch, George, a gift certificate that allows me buy some of the Weasley's Wizard Wheezes Merchandise. Luna, Ron and Ginny touched me when they handed over a painting of the picture that contains all the people I love, including my parents, Tonks, Remus, Sirius and Fred. Everyone took turns in giving their respective gifts to me when an owl that looked like Hedwig perched on my shoulder and when I tried to look where he came from, I was surprised to see Hermione's smiling face.

Her eyes glowed as she gave me a peck on the cheek. "Happy Birthday Harry. I bought this owl for you as a gift. I know he could never replace Hedwig but I want him to become your companion like Hedwig was." I smiled, Hermione always knew what I need. You would want to expect that she was someone who will give you a set of books to read, only to be surprised when she gave you something more. It gets lovelier every time. Just when I was about to say 'thank you', she handed me a strange black, leather-cased book and gave the owl to Ron. It was very thick and I almost let myself believe that she wanted me to study the book but when I opened it. . .

It was the best birthday gift ever. It was a form of scrapbook. Inside it was hundreds of pages, scraps, pictures, words, news articles. . . all designed by Hermione.

"I made it for you. This was part of the reason why I always went missing. I gathered stuffs, pictures and whatnots from people who are close to you. Well, most of it was about the three of us but other took effort in expressing what they feel in this book. I hope you liked it."

She flashed me a bright smile and the only thing I was able to do was envelop her in my hug.

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