Disclaimer: Harry Potter is still not mine.

A/N: Thank you from the bottom of my heart, for all of your supports and reviews, favorites and alerts. I hope you'll be able to enjoy this chapter, even if it is not perfect and BETA-ed yet. :)

Chapter 13: Facing Your Heart

The sound of the rustling leaves and the murmurs of the lake gave a calm feeling as I tried to study for the lessons at hand. The weather was peaceful and with all the books I had to read and the spells I had to practice, I really didn't have the time to think about my wounded hand or empty heart. . . except now. Well, I guess being alone sometimes enabled you to have these self musings.

It has already been a month after Hermione's birthday. As much as I am ashamed to think about it, I had been trying to avoid her ever since. I was afraid, afraid that she would discover about my feelings, especially because I knew she was a brilliant witch. I tried to do all possible measures and excuses to avoid talking to her that I had this feeling that I had become a pathetic prat.

Well, having no experience on loving someone like thisor someone to advice you about it was hard, I guess. I never held someone's hand like I didn't want to let her go or whisper those three little words while she slept on my shoulder. Despite my experience of being with Ginnie or Cho, I guess I never really. . .did these things before, except the snogging.

Maybe the nice weather was getting into me? Despite having my own room or the library, I really, really loved studying below this tree near the lake. It was always very relaxing and even though my left hand hurt when it was cold, there was not another place where I would want to conduct my spells or study these hideously thick books.

The cold breeze swept onto my face as I whispered a sigh. Having no Death Eaters or Dark Lords on my tail made me a perfectly normal eighteen year-old wizard. It gave me the freedom to access the thoughts and emotions that perfectly normal people would have in their daily lives, which included perfectly normal matters of the heart and truthfully, it was. . .too much. I closed my eyes and sighed again; maybe this weather was really getting into me.

"You sure are thinking very hard." I opened my eyes and watched the girl tie her bushy brown hair in a pony tail as she took a seat beside me.

"Er – I was just trying to enjoy the scene."

It was the only excuse I could think of at the moment, especially when she caught me off guard. She nodded and looked at me in the eye, a hint of sadness stained her delicate features. Silence enveloped the both of us as we took pleasure in enjoying the scenario.

Finally, when she couldn't bear it no more, she let out a sigh and spoke, "You were trying to avoid me lately, I could tell."

"What makes you think that I would do that?" I said, acting nonchalantly. I could only think of two reasons for her to find this one out, either I was too obvious for my own good or she just knew me too well.

"Honestly Harry, what do you think you're doing this past month? I only see you for a few minutes and before I could even wave my hand, you're already gone!"

Ahhhh well, I am a veteran in running away, our last big adventure gave me the chance to master that.

I smirked as I tried to think of an excuse. . .but ended up telling her the truth, well, half of it. "Sorry, it was just that there were. . .matters that I would not like to discuss right now. This month has been harsh to me. I'm sorry."

Hermione sighed, took a stick and wrote in the dirt, avoiding my gaze. Maybe things had been hard for her this past month, judging from her appearance and how her eyes looked so. . .sad and hollow. At this observation, I realized, I couldn't bear it so I cupped her face and made her look at me.

"Did something happen while I was away?" I tried to ask, relieving us of the tension caused by my foolishness.

She stared at me, but then removed my hand and gazed at the distant horizon while she smiled a rather hollow smile. "Maybe I became accustomed to always being with the two of you that I forgot what it felt like to be here without your presence," she muttered.

My face crumpled into a frown; I didn't really get what she was trying to say but I followed her gaze as I kept quiet. I silently pleaded her to continue, to tell me what was bothering her.

The silence that enveloped us was probably the longest that I had to endure and all the while, I just looked at her pleadingly, wondering what happened. She seemed so lost in her own words, writing whatnots in the dirt. Every now and then, I would notice that she would snap out of her reverie and even when she was on the verge of telling me something, she would just sigh and delve back into the deepest recesses of her mind.

Finally, when she couldn't bear it anymore, another sigh escaped her lips as she looked at me in the eye. Her face was serious and her eyes were coated with sadness. "I. . .broke up with Ron."

I patiently waited for her to speak again, too agape to really say anything. The muscles of my jaw tightened at the news and my mind was in a haze. Half of me wanted to hug her right now and comfort her but another part of me wanted to shout.

Why?

When she realized that I wouldn't say anything, she twiddled with her fingers and spoke, "We broke up two weeks ago because. . .I got tired."

"T – Tired?"

"Yes. After my birthday, things were great and I thought that maybe, we finally got over our differences. We met up whenever there was a chance for us students to go to Hogsmeade and sent each other letters frequently. But after a while, we. . .drifted apart. Our letters contained many things and nothing at the same time and we kept bickering whenever we met. I don't understand, Harry, why did it turn that way?"

At that moment, I couldn't do anything and watched helplessly as she cried. I wanted to wipe away those tears in her eyes, tell her that she meant so much to me in words that I knew she should never know.

Still, even through her tears, she kept fighting and all I could do was. . .listen. "He told me that I only cared about myself, that my feelings, wants, dreams. . .were only for me. He told me I never tried to take his feelings into consideration. I tried Harry, I really did. But what hurt me most was when he didn't even try to listen to my side of the story."

Hermione wiped her tears as I helplessly listened to her story, my heart breaking at every sob she let go. "S – sorry for babbling. I. . .wanted to tell you sooner but you were just out of reach."

My mind reflexively reached out for her and pulled her to me as she buried her face into my chest. The guilt that I felt was overflowing, but all I could do was apologize profusely for not being there. I should have been there.

My heart sank while I tried to figure out what happened while I was busy with my own world. I felt so helpless. This woman, she was always there when I needed her, even sacrificing her life for my sake, but where was I when she needed me? Hiding in my own world, from the feelings I tried to hard to keep.

She tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to escape her eyes and when I looked at her, I was crushed by what I saw. The pain she was feeling must be great, it was the man she loved after all. How could I ever compete with Ron? Even with this news, just knowing that she loved him. . .never mind. More importantly, how could I ever show this girl that she meant the whole world to me when I knew fully well that Ron meant the whole world to her?

My eyes solemnly drifted into the distant horizon. "I'm sorry. I never thought it would come to that. We were all laughing freely a month ago. I'm so sorry I was not there when you needed it."

Hermione broke the hug and wiped her tears as she tried to smile. "It's alright Harry, I figured that I just had to tell you. It's done anyway. But I am. . .happy, this experience made me more matured than before. We would be better off as friends, just like you and Ginny. Now that I have gotten it out of my chest, I feel a bit better."

"And yet, even with all of these, you still love him."

She looked at me, surprised with the reality of my words, her chocolate brown eyes unable to hide the truth that she wanted so much to deny.

Her eyes were solemn as she looked at the ground. "Yes."

I smiled and put my hands on her face so that my emerald eyes finally faced her brown orbs. "It only meant that you love him so much that you would let him go. Let Ron realize his mistake. That git just doesn't know how to listen when he's consumed by his own feelings. Sooner or later, he will apologize to you. Whatever happens, I want you to be strong and know that I am here. I won't allow you to face your problems alone again."

For once, she truly allowed a smile to form on her lips as she looked at me, a smile that reached her eyes. I returned the favor and enveloped her in my hug. I put my chin in her head as I held her close. Even for a few minutes, I wanted her to let go of all the feelings that did nothing but bother her. When she finally broke the hug, she stood up with a smile. "So, how are you? I heard you were teaching DADA on the sixth years."

"Err. . .it was fine. Actually, it ended yesterday. Professor Nebilim had come back from the Ministry."

"Well, how was it?" she asked as she picked up a pebble and threw it in the lake.

"It was. . .fun. Ginny, Luna and other former members of the DA helped me. We've been practicing casting corporeal patronuses on the last day I taught. They said that they enjoyed the lessons, whether it was true or not, I needn't to know."

Hermione chuckled at my words and nudged me in the side. "Oh please! Stop being so modest, you know that anyone would be privileged to be taught by you."

"Well, I guess." I wasn't really paying attention to what she just said as I stared at her, looking very much like a fool as a goofy grin erupted from my face.

"What? Is there something on my face?"

My grin widened at her words that I just had to hug her. If ever there was a chance for me to be with her, I would take it, regardless of the cost.Maybe. . .

"Nothing, I am just happy that the Hermione I know is back."

She broke the hug and put her hands on her hips before attacking my chest with her fist. "For your information Mr. Potter, I would like to keep scolding you until you learn your lesson."

But while I laughed and crossed out my arms o defend myself against her attacks, she suddenly stopped and her face crumpled into a frown. "What happened to your arm?"

I let her look my arm, suddenly remembering that it was there. "Oh, this? I was cursed by a spell while I was taking my first Auror exam."

"How did it happen?" Hermione asked while she took her previous seat and looked at me intently, examining the cursed hand with such reverence. Seeing that I couldn't lie, I told her what I could reveal.

"Remember the maze that I entered during the triwizard tournament? Kingsley and the other examiners made a similar one. I was looking for a clue when a boggart showed up. Well, you know how they are."

Hermione looked at me with a frown while I told the story. I sighed and looked above, reminiscing that dreadful scene that I'd rather not talk about, but had to. The sky was peaceful, but it brought me back to that time. . .

"That boggart showed me the body of the girl I love, dead. Her face was of someone who suffered so much and blood was all over her body. I don't know if I would want to describe it more than what I told you but she was holding a book on her right hand, the one I was looking for. I forgot that it was only an exam, for it really shook me. When I finally collected my thoughts, the curse from the book was already activated that I had no choice but to block it with my arm. It will heal though, with time. More importantly, atleast I passed."

Hermione looked at me with utter concern before turning away. A sigh escaped from her lips as she looked at the direction of the lake. Her eyes were thoughtful, deep in thought. "She must have been very special to you."

I followed her look gaze and couldn't help but smiled at her words. "Yes, she is."

You have no idea.

"Did you already tell her how you feel?"

"Well, she's in love with someone else. And besides, I will only cause her trouble if I told her how I feel."

A gentle chuckled escaped from her lips. "Who could this woman be that the famous Harry Potter would cower before her?"

"She deserved the praise. She was the smartest, kindest, most beautiful woman I ever met."

"Really now? Then, even I can't compete with her. I wonder who she is." I laughed; somehow, she made this sound amusing and interesting because she didn't know. I guess you could also be dense.

"What made you fall in love with her Harry?"

I paused, thinking of her qualities that made her who she was, the girl I love and as I pondered upon the question, I stared at her and smiled.

"Well, she's the smartest and most caring person that I have ever met. She has a heart of gold and loved me unconditionally. She never failed to be there when I needed someone and she – she even sacrificed her own. . .happiness and life for my sake. She also knew me as Harry, not the famous Harry Potter. "

Did you catch the clue Hermione? Did you understand that you're the only woman in my life who could do this?

Hermione held my hand and forced me to look at her. "Will you. . .will you tell me who she is when you are ready?"

For a while, her request made me fall silent. It stunned me and rendered me completely speechless. Her request was both something that I wanted to keep and something I wanted her to know. But nevertheless, I found myself nodding. After all, I could never ignore Hermione Granger that all I could do was smile. "I think you'll be able to tell, in time."

"You must really love her, for you to feel like this."

I looked at her thoughtful eyes and realied that, she understood. Feeling pooled into my heart and I let myself drown in them. For in this moment, I shared something that I never got to share with either Ginny or Cho, my heart. "More than you'll ever know."

I urged her to come and sit beside me and she obliged to my request. After a while, I put my hand around her shoulder as she rested her head on the crook of my neck. Time seemed to stop as we contentedly slumped on the tree. When I took her hand, I noticed that she was still wearing the bracelet I gave her on her birthday and I sighed in contentment as I finally closed my eyes.

Somehow, in my mind, I didn't want her to realize that she was that person I was referring to. But then again, my heart wanted to show her, so that I could whisper those three little words and hold her hand . . .never let her go.

A/N: Thank you so much for reading and please hit the review button on your way out! Your opinions matter! :)