If this one follows on from the previous one, why not make them all into one story?
Complicated reasons. Let's just say that I'm doing it this way for now.
That's not a good explanation.
Let's just get to the story, shall we?
Practice Session
I awoke from a very restful sleep. When I had the beastblood, a good-night's sleep was something that rarely gained. I went through the day feeling rather drained, even though I had just woken up and would return to my bed a lot earlier, knowing that I wouldn't sleep any better. Now, with it gone, I felt like I could take on Alduin himself with nothing but a drained staff and an apple. Alright, not that much then.
After rising and dressing, I pulled out my breakfast. As I was used to living off the supplies I found, a few carrots and a left-over leg of rabbit were what I had to make do with. Hardly satisfying, but beggars can't be choosers. I made a mental note to get a good lunch at the Frozen Hearth inn after the lecture today. I headed out and saw the Nord apprentice leaving his dorm too. Feeling that I should probably introduce myself, I headed up to him. He looked at me as I approached, gave a friendly smile and offered a hand to shake.
"New here too, eh?" he inquired, as we shook. "Name's Onmund."
"Sauron Dredena, good to meet you."
"I hoped I wouldn't be the only Nord. Should've known better."
"I've wondered about that," I said, hoping to settle something. "Why do Nords have a problem with the College? When I came, the guards said I should stay away."
"I can imagine they would," he concurred "Well, look at the evidence: Nords generally don't trust magic, so it's not off to a good start. Throw in the Oblivion Crisis, which was caused by magic users and the troubles now with the Aldmeri Dominion, who are elves and magic users. And finally take the fact that the College is the only thing left standing after most of Winterhold was destroyed. It's all fairly damning."
"Well when you put it like that, I suppose they do have some justification..."
"I suppose you get a lot of bad feeling for being a Dark Elf who uses magic?" he asked. He was right about that. It was mostly from the guard, who would address me with the generic term of 'elf' or speak sarcastically about my ability to cast spells. For the first time, I found myself considering the irony that I, the Dragonborn of Nord legend, was not a Nord and wasn't a warrior but rather from two of the most prejudiced and hated things of the people of Skyrim. Well, most of them anyway. It was nice to know not all of them hated magic.
"I do, yes," I answered casually. "But, they are hot words from buffoons, nothing more."
"At least you don't let them get to you then," the Nord said admiringly. "Come on, we'd better get to the Hall for Tolfdir's lecture." With that, we headed outside.
Even though we barely spent a minute walking through the snow-filled courtyard to the Hall of Elements, it was nonetheless gratifying to enter the warm lecture hall, coming out of the biting cold of the snow. While the teacher wasn't there yet, another of the students was. J'zargo was practicing the lightning bolt spell on one of the mage-lights.
"Well casted," complimented Onmund, as we neared him.
"Of course it was. J'zargo casted it, so it was bound to be."
"You seem very sure of yourself," Onmund noted.
"There is much for J'zargo to be sure of," he boasted, grinning. "There is skill in magic, there is charm. J'zargo will be successful, of this there is no doubt."
"Well, I'm pretty good too. Watch this..." For a time, we tried out casting a few different spells. Mainly Apprentice level destruction magic. Both J'zargo and Onmund proved themselves to more-than competent mages, each puling of their spells well. Though I didn't say it out loud, for fear that his ego would soon rival the Throat of the World in size, J'zargo was certainly the more skilled. So, his arrogance wasn't completely unfounded.
I heard the door open and close and felt a sharp, cold draught from the wind. I turned, expecting to see Tolfdir, but my eyes instead, to my pleasant surprise, were greeted by the graceful form of Brelyna Maryon. She saw me, gave a smile and stood to watch beside me.
"You're not joining in?" she asked me, sounding a little surprised. "I'm sure you have good magic skills."
"I'm happy to watch," I answered. "See what they're capable of." I turned to look at her. "You mentioned yesterday that Winterhold used to be full of Dunmer?"
"Didn't you know? Before the Oblivion Crisis, many of our kind called Winterhold their home. More visited the College from Morrowind every year," she explained. Even though she said that she didn't care about all our kind being gone from the city, I could detect a hint of regret in her voice.
"After, growing distrust of magic made life difficult for most. Some left rather than endure the growing hatred from the local Nords. Others returned home after the Red Year, when Vvardenfell erupted and caused much destruction. Winterhold itself died in the years between then and now. Only the College really remains."
"What a shame..." I gave a sigh. "I would have liked to have seen the city in it's prime, I'm sure it was quite something." Then, I shrugged. "Oh well, all great things must come to an end. Even if it's not in the way we want them to."
"Hm..." She seemed a little preoccupied. She was fidgeting, fiddling with her fingers and looking this way and that.
"You okay?"
"Yeah, I think," she said, unconfidently,sounding strained and nervous. "I hope I practiced enough with the ward spell. I hope I do alright. I think I will. Maybe I won't. Maybe I'll fail. Maybe I'll have to leave if I fail. I don't want to leave. Do you think I'll do fine? Do you?"
I was more than a little surprised at this turn of behaviour. Why was she so nervous about one little ward spell? "Brelyna, I-"
"Ah, good, you're all here." Brelyna whipped around, as if someone had fired an arrow at her and she was looking for the shooter. I turned to see that Tolfdir had at last arrived. "I'm glad to see you've all been doing something productive while you were waiting for me. Onmund, that was a well-cast Sparks spell, good work."
"Thank you, sir," Onmund said, looking rather pleased with himself.
J'zargo perked his ears up, perhaps hoping to hear if the elderly mage had anything to say on his spells. His expression turned sour when Tolfdir didn't say anything. As if his ego needed further stroking, I thought. I, myself, would take praise if it was offered and, even if it wasn't, still conceded to do my best while learning here.
"It seems that you all have particular talents in magic. It shall be gratifying to see you harness them and, I hope, become exceptional mages."
"Some, more so than others," J'zargo murmured, to no-one in particular.
"Now then, let's see how well you've been practicing with ward spells. Sauron, as you were my practical assistant yesterday, perhaps you would like to try first."
"As you wish," I replied, taking my place on the seal from the previous day.
Tolfdir summoned a ball of fire and sent it at me, just as set the shimmering wall before me. I was about to relax when he sent another. I blocked it, but felt my energy drain a little. I barely had time to recover before he sent a third one. Knowing I couldn't sustain for much longer, I decided to take action. After I blocked the next bolt, I prepared my own firebolt. I set off my sheild and let it off at him. He stopped it with his own ward.
"Excellent work, Sauron," he said, as I walked back to the group. "You managed to sustain your ward, while also leaving magicka reserved for a counter-attack. A wise decision. However, until we move on to destruction magic, I would advise you and the rest of you to refrain from doing any until we are ready for it. We don't want anyone getting hurt by accident."
"Yes, sir," I and the rest of the students replied. I then stood back to watch the others in action.
Onmund was next up to go. He held his ward for a good few seconds, but failed when Tolfdir sent his third firebolt at him. He had to dive out of the way, as the bolt soared over him and struck a pillar behind him. Tolfdir put it down to not enough practice, but a good attempt regardless. A little forlorn, the Nord stood back with me.
J'zargo proved to be adept at it, blocking a total of seven attacks until he ran out of energy. As a result of this, however, he seemed to use a little of his own energy and staggered after his ward went down. Tolfdir told him he shouldn't foolishly spend all his reserves like that, as he might become too exhausted to fight back. I guessed he held as long as he can to try and impress him and the rest of us with his 'skill.' Many times before in history, many had fallen due to their over-confidence in their abilities and their own arrogance. The Khajiit gave a low hiss, before storming back with me and Onmund.
Finally, Brelyna went to have her attempt at it. She seemed a little nervous; her body was tensed like a wild sabre-cat, her eyes were twitching and she either wouldn't or couldn't relax. She seemed like she was about to explode with panic and she did. A Tolfdir sent a firebolt at her, I saw immediately, from the purple light in her hand, she was about to cast the wrong spell. Before I, or anyone else, could do anything, in a great purple flash, she ended up summoning a Flame Atronach. While appearing to be graceful, firey dancers, they could be dangerous.
The bolt hit the fire daedra and it took the lecturer as a threat to the mage that summoned it. It began to send a barrage of fire at him. J'zargo moved to protect him, setting up his own ward. I prepared a lightning bolt to send at it and, from a crackling beside me, Onmund did too. Under our combined spells, the Atronach fell to the ground.
"Brelyna! Get away from it! It's going to explode!" She had been standing, dumbfounded while we had fought it. My voice seemed to break her out of her trance, as she leaped to the side before the body of the daedra exploded in a fiery inferno, leaving a pile of ash and fire salts behind it. When she picked herself up off the floor, she looked completely mortified.
"Oh my... I'm so sorry, I... I mean I... I was..." She trailed off. Tears began rolling down her cheeks. "Oh, I'm a failure!" With her head in her hands, sobbing uncontrollably, she ran outside of the Hall of Elements.
"Wait, Brelyna!" By the time I called out, the door had already slammed shut. I looked to the others. "Hold on, I'll go and talk to her." My feet echoing around the hall, I ran after her, back into the cold. My eyes darted around, saw her running back to the Hall of Attainment, where the dorms were. I barged through the doors and then slowed down, looking in the direction of her room and listening quietly. I could hear her quietly sobbing in her room.
My mind was racing with a million thoughts at once. Why did she react so much to such a simple mistake? What should I say to her? Would it be enough? Taking a moment, I organized myself and stepped forward.
"Who...?" She turned her head slightly as I approached. "Oh, it's you... what do you want?"
"To talk," I said gently, taking a seat close by. "What happened there?"
"Why do you care?" she spat, bitterly. "Why should you? At least you know the difference between a ward and conjuration spell! I'm an idiot!"
"You're not an idiot," I responded, keeping my voice level. "It was just a mistake, that's all."
"Are you kidding?" she yelled. "I should have been able to do that ward and I used the completely wrong spell! A child could have done better than me! I'm wasting my time at this College. They won't want an idiot like me now..." She sobbed all the harder, her face buried in her hands.
"You've only just arrived here and you're considering quitting after one lesson? Now, that is foolish! " I could hear my voice rising, so I took a few breaths to calm myself. "I'm sure they'll still want you, in fact, I guarantee it. Just tell me why you think you made that mistake."
"What's the point in talking? I'm no mage, I'm nothing but a failure. That's what they'd say..."
They? Then, in that moment, I understood what was wrong. Why she had set such high standards for herself and failed to meet them.
"You mean your family," I asked her quietly, "don't you?" Her body stopped shaking and her head lifted slightly. "The Telvanni mages have a history of being powerful in the way of magic. It must be difficult, having that weighing on you, being expected to meet the same standards as them."
Slowly, she turned to face me. Tear streaks marked her cheeks. "They were always telling me-" She sniffed and gave another sob. "-telling me how great they were. Always judging me... I never seemed to meet their 'expectations.' This was spoken in a sour tone.
"Well, you can't," I said, treading lightly, "if they expect you to be as great as them and if you think the same. That's unfair and unrealistic. You can't be like them. You can only be as good as you can be, not your ancestors or your family's expectations of you."
Her ruby-red, sparkling eyes gazed deep into mine for a long while, as she considered what I said. One, last tear trickled down her face. Then, her expression changed from one of dismay to a hard resolve. She stood up from the side of the bed, her back straight and proud, anew-found determination blazing in her eyes.
"You're right, Sauron," she agreed, wiping her eyes. "I can't just give now. I'm not any of my ancestors or whatever my family expects me to be. I'm just me. I can only do my best. But that's enough, isn't it?" She looked at me for confirmation.
"More than enough," I told her. "Besides, that was a good conjuration anyway, I was never much good at them. I'm sure you're going to be a great conjurer, with the right training."
That put a smile on her face. "Thank you. Thank you so much, Sauron. I needed that talk, I wasn't thinking straight. I'm glad to have such a good friend, like you."
"Well... uh," I stammered, feeling my face grow hot, "I just... did my best, that's all."
"That's more than enough," she said, echoing me. Her warm smile filled up from within. "I've never had a friend like you before. The family Telvanni has always been pretty isolated and I never had many friends when I was younger. I'm grateful that we met."
"Me too," I said with sincerity. "Come on, let's go back to the Hall."
Standing aside to let her through doors first ("A gentleman too," she noted with a smile."), we made our way back through the biting cold and high winds back to our lesson. Tolfdir, Onmund and J'zargo looked up as we re-entered, the latter standing up from the ash pile with fire salts in his paws.
"Ah, Brelyna, you had us worried there for a moment," the old man said in a concerned voice, "are you alright now?"
"Yes sir, I'm sorry for my mistake and for my overreaction to it," she apologized "I had set my standards too high and I panicked. If I may, sir, I just want to learn, I don't want to think about what's expected of me."
"Well, that's precisely what this College is for, my dear," he said kindly, "we only want you to apply yourself as best you can to what we teach you. No more, no less. Consider this matter forgotten. Now, would you like to try again?"
"Yes, I will," she answered, confidently.
She moved to the seal, far more calm and confident than before. She raised her shimmering sheild in front of her, blocking five firebolts, before she removed it. She didn't even expend herself of magicka doing so.
"Very well done, Brelyna," the lecturer praised, "I think you will be an excellent student here. Just try to keep calm and relax and you'll do fine." She glowed with pride and looked at me. You were right, she mouthed to me, grinning.
"Now then," he said to the rest of us, "due to the events of today, I think it best if we end it here and do some research. I want you to return tomorrow with the answer to this question: How do you break through a ward spell? Dismissed, thank you." As we dispersed, she ran up to me, bristling with pride.
"I did it!" she exclaimed, giving me a radiant smile. "I couldn't have done it without you, Sauron. Thank you."
"I only gave you a little support," I replied, "it was your own skills and effort."
"Don't be so modest," she said, "my head wasn't clear and I needed someone to talk to. I'm glad it was you."
"Not a problem..." I mumbled, my cheeks feeling warm. "I'm going to go and study. Well done, Brelyna."
"Okay," she said, still smiling. "I'll be in my dorm, if you want to find me later. Have fun." With that, she headed off to the Hall of Attainment, whilst I made my way to the Arcanium, the library of the College.
As I sat at a table, reading up on wards and a little of my own reading material, I found my thoughts drifting. Like last night, they kept turning to her shining blue-grey skin, her enchanting eyes, her melodic voice. I pondered as to why she had this much of an impact on me. Was it just nerves or was she... the one for me?
No, I thought, dismissing those thoughts. We were just friends, only just met. That was silly. But then, why was I even considering it? Was I wrong? It wasn't like she felt the same... was it? Even if she did, for me to be in any kind of relationship with anyone would be dangerous... for them that is.
I looked off into the middle distance, hearing the winds blowing outside. I could almost hear the roar of one echoing in my memory. They were still out there, gaining strength, returning to a position of power. As long as they were alive, how could I have any kind of normal life? And yet...
There was still hope. Hope for a future, for a better life, for me and her. I shrugged, returning to my book. What would pass would pass and I would just accept it. If I did have a future with someone, who knows, maybe it would be her, maybe it wouldn't. We'll see.
Another adequate job, good writer
So I hope, my friend. Hoped you guys liked this one! Stay tuned, we got more coming up!
Try giving them a more definitive ending next time, will you?
Everyone's a critic...