Hitting the Books

"Back again huh?" Urag gro-Shub leered over the table at me. "What do you need now?" I met his gaze as best I could.

"We found something in Saarthal and I need to learn more about it," I replied bravely. At least, I hoped it sounded brave.

"I know what you need," he said, to my surprise. "Word travels fast around here. Discovered some big mystery, huh? Well, you don't even need to ask. I think I have what you're looking for right here..."

He stood up from his desk and crossed over to one of the large book cases that encircled the Arcaeneum, heaving it open and scrolling down the masses of volumes that it contained. I stood and waited, thinking about what had lead me here.

I had sprinted all the way back to the College from Saarthal and up to the quarters of Arch-Mage Savos Aren. He allowed me five minutes to catch my breath, my chest had a stitch in it and I was gasping like a fish out of water. I then told him, as best I could, what we had found in the excavation.

While I hadn't really been able to provide him with a good description of the mystery orb, he had left for Saarthal to see for himself. Before he did, he instructed me to go and do some research on the subject. So, I promptly returned to the Arcaeneum with hopes that Urag had something good in his library.

I was certainly relieved to discover that he did have something for me on the orb. Imagine if he'd hadn't and that I'd have to go halfway across Skyrim to find someone who did and probably fight through a group of dodgy mages or something. That would have been very annoying. I'd had enough of tombs for today and now I just wanted a little peace.

"Here we are," the Orc said, thrusting a large, pale-blue volume into my hand. "You're lucky. One of our older apprentices tried to run off with this and two other books. I caught him before he could run though."

"Really? What happened to him?"

"You really don't wanna know," he said with a sinister leer. "Let's just say that he won't be visiting my Arcaeneum any day soon."

I hoped he was joking, but then I remembered the warning he first gave to me, about being torn apart by angry Atronachs if I ever disrupted the peace of the library and knew he was being deadly serious. Deciding not to ask further about the unfortunate apprentice, I took the book to a nearby corner table.

A few other books caught my eye as I went. Even though I was meant to be doing research, I figured I had earned a bit of time to myself. After all, it's not as if Tolfdir was expecting me to run all they way back to Saarthal if I found anything significant. So, I went back and picked up a few more books, including 'Dunmer in Skyrim', 'Book of the Dragonborn' and the book of 'Lost Legends.'

I'd always been an avid reader. My mother had said that I began to read long before I began to talk. Most of my time at home was usually spent reading some new book or having my nose in a new Spell Tome my father bought for me. Granted, I did socialize, but I always liked the comfort of a good book.

I sat down and was about to open the first of my books when...

"You there. I have questions for you." I looked up to see the cold gaze of Ancano bearing into me.

He was the adviser to the Arch-Mage from the Thalmor. Or so he claimed. I'd just been glad that he hadn't recognised me when I came into the College or had been told about me by his boss. I wasn't exactly on good terms with the Thalmor, considering how I'd gatecrashed one of their parties, killed a few guards, released a prisoner and stole some important documents from them. I may also a have broken a few valuable pieces of pottery, maybe a bit of littering too. He hadn't said anything to me but I still felt uneasy around him

I couldn't help but be reminded of someone from my childhood whenever I saw him. A young boy named Deras. He was a perfect child for his parents but when they weren't around it was a different story. He was a complete bully, not in the physical sense. If he wanted something, he got it, through lies and schemes and a tiny bit of violence from the gang that he had, tricking children into giving him what he wanted and taking it. A snake in the grass. No kid in my neighbourhood liked him. Whenever anyone tried to tell his misdeeds to his parents, he always played innocent and they fell for it.

I'd taken action, along with a few others who had fallen for his tricks. It took some time but we found enough evidence to prove that what we were saying about him had been true. I'd fallen for one of his lies and given him an amulet that my father had given me. I wanted it back. I could still remember the look on his face when the truth was revealed to his parents. I didn't know what happened to him, but I knew that they'd been pretty harsh in their punishing.

Looking at Ancano, he reminded of me of Deras through and through. That was why I didn't believe what he had told me when I arrived. I didn't trust him. Apparently most others here were of the same mindset as me, especially the apprentices. Brelyna had said that it was pretty clear that he didn't trust any of us and she didn't like the way he looked at her. I found it hard to disagree with her. But I didn't want to get on his bad side. He was with the Arch-Mage and that gave him some power over the rest of us. I thought it would be best to be cooperative. For now.

"Yes sir," I said politely, giving him a small smile. "What can do for you?"

"You were in Saarthal, yes?" he asked, straight to the point. "It has come to my attention something was found there." As he said this, I saw a glitter in his cold eyes. It gave me shivers.

"Maybe..." I said levelly. Urub said word travelled fast, but I didn't trust that he got the information so quickly. "We found rocks, dirt, bones, that sort of thing..."

"Don't play the fool with me, I know you found something of significant importance. Tolfdir is still there, isn't he? I shall expect a full report when he returns."

"How is it you know about any of this?" I regretted the question and hoped that I hadn't gone too far. But he gave me a smile. There was no warmth in it at all. It was a self-assured, arrogant smirk.

"It is my job to know these things," he replied in his slimy voice. "It is my duty in the role of the Arch-Mage's adviser to know everything that transpires." I didn't like the way he put emphasis on 'everything.' "For example, I know about you and your friend's little trip to Diinoksilfaas. Oh, don't look so surprised," he added, his smile growing wider. "I knew from the moment you started off."

"How?" Had he been spying on us? He really didn't trust us. Or had he been meaning to follow us?

"Never you mind. I could have persuaded the Arch-Mage to excommunicate you from the College if I wished. Luckily for you, I decided to tell the innkeeper to inform the Arch-Mage of your doings and leave you to his judgement. In a way, you should be grateful that I didn't do otherwise." That made my blood boil. I resisted the urge to punch him in the nose and kept my voice level.

"I guess I should be," I said, keeping his gaze. "Thank you." His smile grew wider as he inclined his head.

"You are welcome. I must get back to my duties. Thank you for your... help." With that, he turned and strode out. I hoped he tripped on the stairs and hit his head on the way down. Calming myself, I turned back to my small pile of books and picked one of them up. Turning the first page, I began to read.

I don't really know how long I sat there, there were some interesting stories. I liked the one about the family who were being fed by a mage who stayed at their home and created feasts using magical scrolls. The wife, however, was scared of what he might ask in return. So, in the dead of night, she beheaded him and the mage cursed her, that she may never rest in peace. Her ghost could still be seen in that part of the woods, sobbing and clutching a blood-stained axe. I did like a good ghost story, they gave me the chills and were thrilling in a way.

Then, I found something else of interest. The legend of a wizard, named Gauldur, who had a powerful amulet. His three sons, jealous of their father's power, killed him and fled. They were soon chased down and killed by the king and his men. Almost every trace of it was stricken from official records but I managed to find a list of the son's names: Mikral, Sigdis and... Jyrik!

The writ of sealing in that tomb, that had been the draugr's name! I knew I saw the name somewhere! Could it be the same one? I took out the amulet fragment that I found on the body. I could feel it's power, even in this small piece. This couldn't be a coincidence. It had to be him. The legend was true. They must have taken their father's amulet and split it up among them, unable to use it together. Each gained a fraction of it's power. That meant that the other sons were buried somewhere in Skyrim and they all had a piece of the amulet with them.

One of them, according to the book, died somewhere near Folgunther. I made a note of this in my quest log. I would have to look into this at some point. But not right now, I had something more important to be getting on with. Putting aside 'Lost Legends', I picked up the blue volume Urub gave me. It had the seal of the College, an eye inside a circle and a five-pointed star, on the cover and was entitled the 'Night of Tears.'

So, I had an account of the events that caused Saarthal's destruction. Perhaps I'd learn a little more about it as I was reading through. In the end, I started to skim-read through most of it, not just because I needed to do the research but also because I was rather ashamed for what my ancestors had done to the Nords all those years ago. Some things were best left undiscovered.

Something caught my eye as I scanned the pages and I read the passage in more detail:

The true motives behind the Night of Tears have been obscured to us by the passage of time, but I believe this was not a simple war of territory, or of control of Skyrim. I believe that what happened was a significant event based around something very particular.

The Nords found something when they built their city, buried deep in the ground. They attempted to keep it buried, but the elves learned of it and coveted it for themselves. Thus they assaulted Saarthal, their goal not to drive the Nords out but to secure this power for themselves. I believe Ysgramor knew something of what the elves would find under Saarthal, and rallied together his people to keep the elves from gaining it. When Nords once again controlled Skyrim, this power was buried deep below the earth and sealed away.

Time has kept this knowledge from us, but it is my hope that Time will also reveal the truth of these words. Every effort will be made to relocate Saarthal, and find that which has been lost to us.

So the Night of Tears wasn't just a territorial dispute between races. The elves knew about what we had uncovered in Saarthal and the Nords were just unfortunate enough to be in their way. That orb must have great power that my ancestors were willing to kill for it. It also made it much more dangerous.

I actually did consider running straight back to the excavation sight to give Tolfdir my findings. But I knew I'd been sitting here for a while now. They'd be back pretty soon, so I'd just have to wait here until they did arrive back. Putting aside the 'Night Of Tears', I picked up the black-bound volume with what most would recognise as the insignia of the Empire upon it. A silver dragon.

I had seen the 'Book Of The Dragonborn' a few times during my travels but I hadn't actually found the time to read up on... well, my legend. I didn't know what the Nord people thought of me, what was expected of me or what the full extent of my powers could be. I made to open it when...

"That's a little ego-centric, isn't it?" I looked up to see the smiling face of Brelyna Maryon. "Have you been up here all this time?"

"Um... how long is 'all this time?'" I asked. I didn't actually know how long I'd been sitting here.

"About two hours." Okay, that was quite a long time. "It took us a while to move the Eye of Magnus into the Hall of Elements."

"The what?" I asked, although I suspected what she was talking about.

"Oh, it's what they're calling the orb you and Tolfdir found." She gave me one of those radiant smiles that glowed like the sun. "It's incredible! I've never seen anything like it before. Who knows what we could learn from it! All thanks to you."

I felt my cheeks grow warm. "Tolfdir helped too and I just found it by accident..."

"Don't be so modest," she said, "you found something beyond extraordinary and you deserve the credit." She lowered her voice "For a legendary Nordic hero, you don't have much of an ego."

"I never thought about that," I remarked, leaning back in my chair. "I guess it's from the way I was bought up. My parents taught me that it's fine to feel good about yourself but not to be too arrogant. I see some, bragging about their great deeds and just think of how false they are. I prefer to be modest, especially in a land where killing five wolves a day is a mark of considerable status."

"That makes sense, I guess," Brelyna agreed. "For me, it was the opposite. My parents were always telling how great I ought to be, like 'those who came before me.' I didn't care about what they did. I wanted them to see me for what I could do. But they never could."

She gazed deep into my eyes. I saw the sparks of happiness dancing in them. "You're the only person I know that's actually seen me for me. Does... that make sense?"

"Of course it does," I nodded. "But... am I really the only person you've known that's not expected great things from you?"

"Yes, you are," she said with sincerity. "Because of my upbringing, I didn't know very many people other than members of my family. You're the first real friend that I've had. I'm glad you came here."

I smiled back at her, truly touched by what she said. "I am too. My mother did want me to further my education in magic and when I heard about this place, I thought 'why not?'"

"Did you learn magic from your mother?" she asked. I felt a sharp pain in my heart as I thought back to him. As I spoke, I felt a lump rise in my throat. I didn't want to discuss this with Tolfdir, but I felt I could tell her.

"No, it was... my father who got me interested in magic." I gave a sad smile at the memory of him. "Alyon Dredena. He was a battlemage for the Empire, but always found the time to come home when he could. He always told me I should do my best in whatever I try, including magic.

"He was so proud when he discovered I had talents in the arcane arts. He bought me Spell Tomes, taught me what he knew at home. He was patient when I made a mistake, even when I accidentally set fire to the roof. He said that, if I worked at it, I could become a great mage. He taught me that magic isn't always a force for destruction, that it could be used to heal, that there are ways other than violence to solve problems."

"He sounds like a good father and a great man," Brelyna noted. Her tone was sympathetic. Could she hear the strain in my voice. "What happened to him?"

"He was... he..." I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. "It was during the Great War. He was fighting for the Empire. I found out that, in a losing battle, the general commanding him told him to hold the line against the Aldmeri Dominion. Whatever the cost. They said there were too many mages for him to handle... that they surrounded him... and they... they..."

I couldn't hold it in anymore. I let the tears roll down my face. It seemed like such a long time ago, but I still felt the emptiness that had descended on me when I was first told the news. I was fourteen. I'd cried all night. So had my mother. We'd carried on... but it wasn't the same without him. I still missed him, to this day. I wondered what he'd think of me if he could see me, that his son turned out to be a hero of legend, destined to stop the return of the dragons. How would he feel?

I felt a warm hand enclose around mine. I looked up to see that wonderful girl reaching out to me, her fingers entwined with mine. She stood me up and enclosed me in a gentle embrace. I couldn't explain it, but I immediately felt better. It wasn't just the comfort I felt from her, nor warmth of her skin on mine. Somehow, this just felt... right.

"Sauron..." She pulled back, her eyes meeting mine. "I'm so sorry. I truly am. I can't imagine... how you felt."

"Yeah..." I wiped the tears from my face. "It was hard... it still is, I guess..."

"I'm sure he'd be proud of you, if he could see you now" she said, with such a definite tone that I nodded, believing her.

"You're right, I think he would be. Thanks Brelyna." I waited for a bit, raising my eyebrows. She got the hint, her face flushing.

"Sorry..." She fidgeted and sat back down, looking at her shoes.

"Nothing to be sorry for," I replied, taking my seat too. "I think I needed that, so thank you."

"You're welcome," she mumbled. Her face was still red, but I could still see a smile on her face. Deciding not to let this drag out uncomfortably, I stood up from my seat.

"Well, I've done my research and I'd best go and tell Tolfdir what I've found. You coming?"

She lifted her head up, then moved to join me. "Why not? Let's go and see your proud achievement."

"Miss Maryon, are you trying to give me a big head?"

"Perhaps, Mr Dredena, perhaps." With Urab no doubt glaring at us for showing signs of affection in his library, we walked down the stairs and out into the cold.

As we strode out across the yard, I saw Onmund leaving the Hall of Attainment. This wasn't unusual, but what was odd was the way he was acting. He sharply shut the door, his gaze shifting around like a wild rabbit, looking left and right. After this he pulled his hood tight around his head and set off in a quick stride. Something was up and it wasn't legitimate.

"Brelyna, you go on ahead. I'll catch up later, something's come up."

"Okay, don't take too long. I might start to miss you," she joked. I laughed appreciatively, watched her until she entered the Hall and set off after the Nord apprentice.

This seemed rather out of character for him. Onmund was noble, loyal and honest, some of the good qualities of a Nord. He didn't seem like the kind of man who would get involved in shady dealings or backstreet mischief. Whatever he was doing, I thought it best to intervene in case he'd do something he'd regret.

Following him wasn't easy. He seemed determined to shake off any kind of tail he might have picked up. There were times I almost lost him and only just caught up with him. Finally, he ended the chase at the top of the ramparts of the College. By the time I made it up the stairs, he was standing with someone else at a viewing spot, with two benches and a circular window.

Crouching low to make as little noise as possible, I crept up slowly to this meeting spot. I soon got close enough to hear what they were saying:

"... yes, that's what I needed!" Onmund was saying. "Wait, what are you doing?"

"Remember the arrangement," said another voice, "I have something you want, but what about what I want?" There was a moment of silence.

"What about this?" Another lapse of silence, no doubt as he was considering what he gave him "It's been in my family for years, it should be worth a lot."

"Hmmm... yes, this will do nicely. Remember, all deals are final." That would have sounded like a warning from anyone else, but the tone in the other's voice was hoping he wouldn't change his mind.

"I'm sure." Right, enough was enough.

"Well, don't think you are," I said, standing up and crossing to the thresh-hold. Onmund whipped his head around, as did another man. He wore the robes of an expert mage and had olive-coloured skin. A Bosmer, or wood elf. Onmund looked surprised but he looked like he was going to hit me.

"What? Who are you? How long have you been there?" he asked angrily.

"Long enough." I answered simply. "What's going on here?"

"Enthir has something I need," Onmund said, cutting off the Bosmer as he was about to talk. "I was about to trade him something of mine for it. Not that it's any of your business," he added.

"What were you offering him?" He hesitated, then handed me something. It was a golden amulet, with a ruby set into it, an enchantment spell making it glow red. It was very old. I could almost feel the history behind it. He was right, this would be worth a lot of money.

"Quite something, isn't it?" Enthir said, his eyes fixed greedily on the amulet. I handed it back to Onmund, watching the Bosmer warily. "Now then, back to our deal..." He was turning back to Onmund.

"Wait a minute!" They stopped again. "What are you trading it for?" What would Onmund be so willing to part with something so precious for?

The answer came when Onmund told Enthir to show me. Reluctantly, he pulled out a damp cloth and opened it. My eyes widened as I saw it. There was no mistaking what it was: a daedric heart. They were used as an ingredient in healing potions and were rather difficult to get a hold of. Even so, it didn't seem like such a good trade off for such a precious heirloom.

"You never know when you might need one," Onmund said. The tone in his voice was confident, but there was a hint of doubt.

"But that's it, isn't it? Do you need one, I mean really?" He looked away from, but I pressed on. "You may not like your family, but this is something that has been handed down by them for generations. It's the only thing you have of them that obviously means a lot to them. They obviously trust you with it if they gave it to you. Are you going to betray that trust and flitter it away in a shady deal?"

"Hey! This is a done deal!" Enthir insisted, sounding desperate. I ignored him.

"Think about it Onmund. Don't do something that you'll regret." I watched him carefully.

He seemed to consider what I had said. I could only hope that he would make the right choice. He stood there for about a minute, his head bowed in thought. Finally, he looked up. His mind was made up. He gave me a grateful smile and turned a steely gaze to Enthir.

"Sorry, the deal's off. I've changed my mind." With that, he placed the amulet back in his pocket and left with me, Enthir's angry yells following us as we walked back inside. We continued in silence until we reached the Hall of Attainment. Onmund turned to me, with a grateful smile on his face.

"Thank you, Sauron," he said with sincerity. "I almost did something that I might have regretted. I can't believe I almost gave him something so important for a damned potion ingredient."

"Think nothing of it, my friend," I replied, returning the smile. "Just think about these things a little more carefully next time."

"Oh, I will believe me. I won't forget this, I'll repay you someday, I promise." Something told me that I would be thankful I was in his debt.

"I'll hold you to that. Now, if you'll excuse me..." I turned and walked back out into the courtyard.

As the biting cold pierced my skin, my thoughts turned again to the powerful and strange artifact that we had floating in the Hall Of Elements. I still had the growing suspicion that it had been a bad idea bringing it here. Something so powerful should be handled with care. While I was sure that most of the mages here were much of the same mind, I knew it was hard to prepare for every eventuality.

With this in mind, I remembered the glitter I had seen in Ancano's eyes when he mentioned the Eye. It was a desire to own, a lust for power and a determination to have it. It was only for a brief moment but I was sure I saw it. I hoped that Aren would be able to keep him in his place... or he might be the end of us all.